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  • Title: Two Noble Kinsmen (Quarto, 1634)

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    Author: William Shakespeare
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    Two Noble Kinsmen (Quarto, 1634)

    Scaena 2. Enter Doctor, Iaylor and Wooer, in habite of
    Doct. Has this advice I told you, done any good upon her?
    Wooer. O very much; The maids that hept her company
    Have halfe perswaded her that I am Palamon; within this
    Halfe houre she came smiling to me, and asked me what I
    2835Would eate, and when I would kisse her: I told her
    Presently, and kist her twice.
    Doct. Twas well done; twentie times had bin far better,
    For there the cure lies mainely.
    Wooer. Then she told me
    2840She would watch with me to night, for well she knew
    What houre my fit would take me.
    Doct. Let her doe so,
    And when your fit comes, fit her home,
    L2 And
    The Two Noble Kinsmen.
    And presently.
    2845Wooer. She would have me sing.
    Doctor. You did so?
    Wooer. No.
    Doct. Twas very ill done then,
    You should observe her ev'ry way.
    2850Wooer. Alas
    I have no voice Sir, to confirme her that way.
    Doctor. That's all one, if yee make a noyse,
    If she intreate againe, doe any thing,
    Lye with her if she aske you.
    2855Iaylor. Hoa there Doctor.
    Doctor. Yes in the waie of cure.
    Iaylor But first by your leave
    I'th way of honestie.
    Doctor. That's but a nicenesse,
    2860Nev'r cast your child away for honestie;
    Cure her first this way, then if shee will be honest,
    She has the path before her.
    Iaylor. Thanke yee Doctor.
    Doctor. Pray bring her in
    2865And let's see how shee is.
    Iaylor. I will, and tell her
    Her Palamon staies for her: But Doctor,
    Me thinkes you are i'th wrong still. Exit Iaylor.
    Doct. Goe, goe: you Fathers are fine Fooles: her honesty?
    2870And we should give her physicke till we finde that:
    Wooer. Why, doe you thinke she is not honest Sir?
    Doctor. How old is she?
    Wooer. She's eighteene.
    Doctor. She may be,
    2875But that's all one, tis nothing to our purpose,
    What ere her Father saies, if you perceave
    Her moode inclining that way that I spoke of
    Videlicet, the way of flesh, you have me.
    Wooer. Yet very well Sir.
    2880Doctor. Please her appetite
    And doe it home, it cures her ipso facto,
    The Two Noble Kinsmen.
    The mellencholly humour that infects her.
    Wooer. I am of your minde Doctor.
    Enter Iaylor, Daughter, Maide.
    2885Doctor. You'l finde it so; she comes, pray honour her.
    Iaylor. Come, your Love Palamon staies for you childe,
    And has done this long houre, to visite you.
    Daughter. I thanke him for his gentle patience,
    He's a kind Gentleman, and I am much bound to him,
    2890Did you nev'r see the horse he gave me?
    Iaylor. Yes.
    Daugh. How doe you like him?
    Iaylor. He's a very faire one.
    Daugh. You never saw him dance?
    2895Iaylor. No.
    Daugh. I have often.
    He daunces very finely, very comely,
    And for a Iigge, come cut and long taile to him,
    He turnes ye like a Top.
    2900Iaylor. That's fine indeede.
    Daugh. Hee'l dance the Morris twenty mile an houre,
    And that will founder the best hobby-horse
    (If I have any skill) in all the parish,
    And gallops to the turne of Light a'love,
    2905What thinke you of this horse?
    Iaylor. Having these vertues
    I thinke he might be broght to play at Tennis.
    Daugh. Alas that's nothing.
    Iaylor. Can he write and reade too.
    2910Daugh. A very faire hand, and casts himselfe th' accounts
    Of all his hay and provender: That Hostler
    Must rise betime that cozens him; you know
    The Chestnut Mare the Duke has?
    Iaylor. Very well.
    2915Daugh. She is horribly in love with him, poore beast,
    But he is like his master coy and scornefull.
    Iaylor. What dowry has she?
    Daugh. Some two hundred Bottles,
    And twenty strike of Oates, but hee'l ne're have her;
    The Two Noble Kinsmen.
    2920He lispes in's neighing able to entice
    A Millars Mare,
    Hee'l be the death of her.
    Doctor. What stuffe she utters?
    Iaylor. Make curtsie, here your love comes.
    2925Wooer. Pretty soule
    How doe ye? that's a fine maide, ther's a curtsie.
    Daugh. Yours to command ith way of honestie;
    How far is't now to'th end o'th world my Masters?
    Doctor. Why a daies Iorney wench.
    2930Daugh. Will you goe with me?
    Wooer. What shall we doe there wench?
    Daugh. Why play at stoole ball,
    What is there else to doe?
    Wooer. I am content
    2935If we shall keepe our wedding there.
    Daugh. Tis true
    For there I will assure you, we shall finde
    Some blind Priest for the purpose, that will venture
    To marry us, for here they are nice, and foolish;
    2940Besides my father must be hang'd to morrow
    And that would be a blot i'th businesse
    Are not you Palamon?
    Wooer. Doe not you know me?
    Daugh. Yes, but you care not for me; I have nothing
    2945But this pore petticoate, and too corse Smockes.
    Wooer. That's all one, I will have you.
    Daugh. Will you surely?
    Wooer. Yes by this faire hand will I.
    Daugh. Wee'l to bed then.
    2950Wooer. Ev'n when you will.
    Daugh. O Sir, you would faine be nibling.
    Wooer. Why doe you rub my kisse off?
    Daugh. Tis a sweet one,
    And will perfume me finely against the wedding.
    2955Is not this your Cosen Arcite?
    Doctor. Yes sweetheart,
    And I am glad my Cosen Palamon
    The Two Noble Kinsmen.
    Has made so faire a choice.
    Daugh. Doe you thinke hee'l have me?
    2960Doctor. Yes without doubt.
    Daugh. Doe you thinke so too?
    Iaylor. Yes.
    Daugh. We shall have many children: Lord, how y'ar(growne,
    My Palamon I hope will grow too finely
    2965Now he's at liberty: Alas poore Chicken
    He was kept downe with hard meate, and ill lodging
    But ile kisse him up againe.
    Enter a Messenger.
    Mess. What doe you here, you'l loose the noblest sight
    2970That ev'r was seene.
    Iaylor. Are they i'th Field?
    Mess. They are
    You beare a charge there too.
    Iaylor. Ile away straight
    2975I must ev'n leave you here.
    Doctor. Nay wee'l goe with you,
    I will not loose the Fight.
    Iaylor. How did you like her?
    Doctor. Ile warrant you within these 3. or 4 daies
    2980Ile make her right againe. You must not from her
    But still preserve her in this way.
    Wooer. I will
    Doc. Lets get her in.
    Wooer. Come sweete wee'l goe to dinner
    2985And then weele play at Cardes.
    Daugh. And shall we kisse too?
    Wooer. A hundred times
    Daugh. And twenty.
    Wooer. I and twenty.
    2990Daugh. And then wee'l sleepe together.
    Doc. Take her offer.
    Wooer. Yes marry will we.
    Daugh. But you shall not hurt me.
    Wooer. I will not sweete.
    2995Daugh. If you doe (Love) ile cry. Florish Exeunt.
    The Two Noble Kinsmen.