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- Edition: As You Like It
Everyman In His Humor (Modern)
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Every Man In His Humor
Now trust me, here's a goodly day toward.
I will, sir, presently.
1.1.8Lorenzo Sr.
But hear you, sirrah:
Very good, sir.
Exit Musco.
How happy would I estimate myself
Nothing but e'en come to see how you do, uncle.
That's kindly done. You are welcome, cousin.
Ay, I know that, sir; I would not have come else. How doth my cousin, uncle?
Oh, well, well. Go in and see. I doubt he's scarce stirring yet.
Uncle, afore I go in, can you tell me an he 33have e'er a book of the sciences of hawking and hunting? I would fain 34borrow it.
Why, I hope you will not a-hawking now, will you?
No, wusse, but I'll practice against next year. I have bought 37me a hawk and bells and all; I lack nothing but a book to 38keep it by.
Oh, most ridiculous!
Nay, look you now, you are angry, uncle. Why, you know, 41an a man have not skill in hawking and hunting nowadays, I'll not give 42a rush for him. He is for no gentleman's company; and, by God's will, 43I scorn it, I, so I do, to be a consort for every humdrum. 44Hang them, scroyles! There's nothing in them in the world. What do you talk 45on it? A gentleman must show himself like a gentleman. Uncle, I pray you 46be not angry. I know what I have to do, I trow; I am no novice.
Go to, you are a prodigal and self-willed fool.
What would you have me do, trow?
What would I have you do? Marry,
Gentlemen, God save you.
Welcome, good friend. We do not stand much upon our gentility, 85yet I can assure you mine uncle is a man of a thousand pound 86land a year. He hath but one son in the world; I am his 87next heir, as simple as I stand here, if my cousin die. I have 88a fair living of mine own, too, beside.
In good time, sir.
"In good time, sir"? You do not flout, do you?
Not I, sir.
An you should, here be them can perceive it, and that 93quickly too. Go to. And they can give it again soundly, an need be.
Why, sir, let this satisfy you. Good faith, I had no such intent.
By God, an I thought you had, sir, I would talk with you.
So you may, sir, and at your pleasure.
And so I would, sir, an you were out of mine uncle's ground, I can tell you.
Why, how now, cousin, will this ne'er be left?
Whoreson base fellow! By God's lid, an 'twere not for shame, I would --
What would you do? You peremptory ass,
Exit Stephano.
I pray you, sir, is this Pazzi house?
Yes, marry, is it, sir.
I should inquire for a gentleman here, one Signor Lorenzo di Pazzi. Do you know any such, sir, I pray you?
Yes, sir, or else I should forget myself.
I cry you mercy, sir. I was requested by a gentleman 114of Florence, having some occasion to ride this way, to deliver you this letter.
To me, sir? What do you mean? I pray you, 117remember your court'sy. [He reads.] "To his dear and most elected friend, Signor Lorenzo di Pazzi." [To the Servingman] What might the gentleman's name 118be, sir, that sent it? Nay, pray you, be covered.
Signor Prospero.
Signor Prospero? A young gentleman of the family of Strozzi, is he not?
Ay, sir, the same. Signor Thorello, the rich Florentine merchant, married his sister.
You say very true.
[Calling] Musco!
Sir?
Make this gentleman drink here.
1.1.108126[To the Servingman] I pray you, go in, sir, an't please you. Exeunt [Servingman and Musco].
1.1.117135[He reads.] "Sirrah Lorenzo, I muse we cannot see thee at Florence. 'Sblood, I doubt Apollo hath got thee to be his ingle, that thou commest not abroad to visit thine old friends. Well, take heed of him Apollo; he may do somewhat for his household servants or so, but for his retainers, I am sure I have known some of them that have followed him three, four, five year together, scorning the world with their bare heels, and at length been glad for a shift -- though no clean shift -- to lie a whole winter in half a sheet, cursing Charles' Wain and the rest of the stars intolerably. But quis contra divos? Well, sirrah, sweet villain, come and 136see me. But spend one minute in my company and 'tis enough. I think 137I have a world of good jests for thee. Oh, sirrah, I can show 138thee two of the most perfect, rare, and absolute true gulls that ever thou 139saw'st, if thou wilt come. 'Sblood, invent some famous, memorable lie or other to 140flap thy father in the mouth withal. Thou hast been father of a thousand 141in thy days; thou couldst be no poet else. Any scurvy, roguish excuse will 142serve; say thou com'st but to fetch wool for thine inkhorn. And then, too, 143thy father will say thy wits are a-woolgathering. But it's no matter; the worse, 144the better. Anything is good enough for the old man. Sirrah, how if thy 145father should see this now? What would he think of me? Well, however I 146write to thee, I reverence him in my soul for the general good all 147Florence delivers of him. Lorenzo, I conjure thee -- by what, let me see 148-- by the depth of our love, by all the strange sights we have 149seen in our days (ay, or nights either), to come to me to Florence 150this day. Go to, you shall come, and let your muses go spin for 151once. If thou wilt not, 'sheart, what's your god's name? Apollo? Ay. -- Apollo, 152if this melancholy rogue Lorenzo here do not come, grant that he do turn 153fool presently, and never hereafter be able to make a good jest or a 154blank verse, but live in more penury of wit and invention than either the Hall Beadle or Poet Nuntius."
[Calling] Musco!
Sir?
What, is the fellow gone that brought this letter?
Yes, sir, a pretty while since.
And where's Lorenzo?
In his chamber, sir.
He spake not with the fellow, did he?
No, sir, he saw him not.
[Handing him the letter] Then, Musco, take this letter and deliver it
Oh, Lord, sir, that were a jest indeed!
Exit Musco.
I am resolved I will not cross his journey.
Exit.