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- Edition: As You Like It
Everyman In His Humor (Modern)
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5.2.22245[Enter Musco alone [wearing the gown and carrying the mace of a "varlet" or arresting officer].
Well, of all my disguises yet, now am I most like 2247myself, being in this varlet's suit. A man of my present profession never counterfeits 2248till he lay hold upon a debtor and says he 'rests him, for then 2249he brings him to all manner of unrest. A kind of little kings we 2250are, bearing the diminutive of a mace made like a young artichoke that always 2251carries pepper and salt in itself. Well, I know not what danger I undergo 2252by this exploit. Pray God I come well off.
See, I think yonder is the varlet.
Let's go in quest of him.
[To Musco] God save you, friend. Are not you here by the appointment of Doctor Clement's man?
Yes, an please you, sir. He told me two gentlemen had 2258willed him to procure an arrest upon one Signor Giuliano by a warrant from 2259his master, which I have about me.
It is honestly done of you both. And see where he 2261comes you must arrest. Upon him, for God's sake, before he be ware!
Bear back, Matheo!
Signor Giuliano, I arrest you, sir, in the duke's name.
Signor Giuliano? Am I Signor Giuliano? I am one Signor Stephano, 2266I tell you, and you do not well, by God's lid, to arrest me, 2267I tell you truly. I am not in your master's books, I would you 2268should well know. Ay, and a plague of God on you for making me afraid thus!
Why, how are you deceived, gentlemen!
He wears such a cloak, and that deceived us. But see, here 'a comes. Officer, this is he.
[To Stephano] Why, how now, Signor Gull, are you turned filcher of late? Come, deliver my cloak.
Your cloak, sir? I bought it even now in the market.
Signor Giuliano, I must arrest you, sir.
Arrest me, sir? At whose suit?
At these two gentlemen's.
I obey thee, varlet; but for these villains --
Keep the peace, I charge you, sir, in the duke's name, sir.
What's the matter, varlet?
You must go before Master Doctor Clement, sir, to answer what 2281these gentlemen will object against you. Hark you, sir, I will use you kindly.
[To Giuliano] We'll be even with you, sir. -- Come, Signor 2283Bobadilla, we'll go before and prepare the Doctor. -- Varlet, look to him.
The varlet is a tall man, by Jesu.
Away, you rascals!
Exeunt Bobadilla and Matheo.
Your cloak? I say once again I bought it, and I'll keep it.
You will keep it?
Ay, that I will.
[To Musco] Varlet, stay! Here's thy fee. Arrest him. [He gives Musco money.]
Signor Stephano, I arrest you.
Arrest me? There, take your cloak; I'll none of it.
Nay, that shall not serve your turn. -- Varlet, bring him 2294away. I'll go with thee now to the Doctor's. And carry him along.
Why, is not here your cloak? What would you have?
I care not for that.
I pray you, sir.
Never talk of it. I will have him answer it.
Well, sir, then I'll leave you. I'll take this gentleman's word for his appearance, as I have done yours.
Tut, I'll have no words taken. Bring him along to answer it.
Good sir, I pity the gentleman's case. Here's your money again.
God's bread, tell not me of my money. Bring him away, I say.
I warrant you, he will go with you of himself.
Yet more ado?
[Aside] I have made a fair mash of it.
Must I go?
Exeunt.