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As You Like It
1[1.1]
4As I remember, Adam, it was upon this fashion 5bequeathed me by will but poor a thousand 6crowns, and, as thou say'st, charged my brother, 7on his blessing, to breed me well; and 8there begins my sadness. My brother Jaques he keeps 9at school, and report speaks goldenly of his profit. 10For my part, he keeps me rustically at home, or, to speak 11more properly, stays me here at home unkept; for call 12you that "keeping" for a gentleman of my birth that differs 13not from the stalling of an ox? His horses are bred 14better, for, besides that they are fair with their feeding, 15they are taught their manège, and to that end riders 16dearly hired; but I, his brother, gain nothing under 17him but growth, for the which his animals on his 18dunghills are as much bound to him as I. Besides this nothing 19that he so plentifully gives me, the something that 20nature gave me his countenance seems to take from 21me. He lets me feed with his hinds, bars me the 22place of a brother, and as much as in him lies, mines my 23gentility with my education. This is it, Adam, that 24grieves me; and the spirit of my father, which I think 25is within me, begins to mutiny against this servitude. 26I will no longer endure it, though yet I know no wise 27remedy how to avoid it.
28Enter Oliver.
Yonder comes my master, your brother.
Go apart, Adam, and thou shalt hear how 31he will shake me up.
[Adam stands aside.]
Now, sir, what make you here?
Nothing. I am not taught to make anything.
What mar you then, sir?
Marry, sir, I am helping you to mar that which 36God made, a poor unworthy brother of yours, with 37idleness.
Marry, sir, be better employed, and be naught awhile.39
Shall I keep your hogs, and eat husks with 41them? What prodigal portion have I spent, that I should 42come to such penury?
Know you where you are, sir?
Oh, sir, very well: here in your orchard.
Know you before whom, sir?
Ay, better than him I am before knows me. I 47know you are my eldest brother, and in the gentle condition 48of blood you should so know me. The courtesy of nations49 allows you my better in that you are the first 50born; but the same tradition takes not away my blood, 51were there twenty brothers betwixt us. I have as much 52of my father in me as you, albeit I confess your coming 53before me is nearer to his reverence.
What, boy!
[He strikes Orlando.]
Come, come, elder brother, you are too young in this.
[He seizes Oliver by the throat.]
Wilt thou lay hands on me, villain?
I am no villain. I am the youngest son of 58Sir Rowland de Boys. He was my father, and he is thrice a villain 59that says such a father begot villains. Wert thou 60not my brother, I would not take this hand from thy 61throat till this other had pulled out thy tongue for saying 62so. Thou hast railed on thyself.
[Coming forward]
Sweet masters, be patient! For your father's remembrance64, be at accord.
[To Orlando]
Let me go, I say.
I will not, till I please. You shall hear me. My 67father charged you in his will to give me good education. 68You have trained me like a peasant, obscuring and 69hiding from me all gentlemanlike qualities. The spirit 70of my father grows strong in me, and I will no longer 71endure it; therefore allow me such exercises as may become 72a gentleman, or give me the poor allottery my 73father left me by testament. With that I will go buy my 74fortunes.
[He releases Oliver.]
And what wilt thou do? Beg, when that is spent? 76Well, sir, get you in. I will not long be troubled with 77you; you shall have some part of your will. I pray you 78leave me.
I will no further offend you than becomes me 80for my good.
[To Adam]
Get you with him, you old dog.
Is "old dog" my reward? Most true, I have 83lost my teeth in your service. God be with my old master! 84He would not have spoke such a word.
Exeunt Orlando and Adam.
Is it even so? Begin you to grow upon me? I will 86physic your rankness, and yet give no thousand 87crowns neither. [Calling] Holla, Dennis!
88Enter Dennis.
Calls Your Worship?
Was not Charles, the Duke's wrestler, here to 91speak with me?
So please you, he is here at the door and importunes 93access to you.
Call him in.
1.1.29.1[Exit Dennis.]
'Twill be a good way; and tomorrow 95the wrestling is.
96Enter Charles.
Good morrow to Your Worship.
Good Monsieur Charles, what's the new news 99at the new court?
There's no news at the court, sir, but the 101old news: that is, the old Duke is banished by his younger 102brother the new Duke, and three or four loving 103lords have put themselves into voluntary exile with 104him, whose lands and revenues enrich the new Duke; 105therefore he gives them good leave to wander.
Can you tell if Rosalind, the Duke's daughter, be 107banished with her father?
Oh, no; for the Duke's daughter, her cousin, so 109loves her, being ever from their cradles bred together, 110that she would have followed her exile or have died to 111stay behind her. She is at the court, and no less beloved 112of her uncle than his own daughter; and never two ladies 113loved as they do.
Where will the old Duke live?
They say he is already in the Forest of Arden, 116and a many merry men with him; and there they live 117like the old Robin Hood of England. They say many young 118gentlemen flock to him every day, and fleet the time 119carelessly, as they did in the golden world.
What, you wrestle tomorrow before the new 121Duke?
Marry, do I, sir; and I came to acquaint you 123with a matter. I am given, sir, secretly to understand that 124your younger brother, Orlando, hath a disposition to come 125in disguised against me to try a fall. Tomorrow, sir, 126I wrestle for my credit; and he that escapes me without 127some broken limb shall acquit him well. Your brother 128is but young and tender; and, for your love, I would be 129loath to foil him, as I must, for my own honor, if he 130come in. Therefore, out of my love to you, I came hither 131to acquaint you withal, that either you might stay him 132from his intendment, or brook such disgrace well as he 133shall run into, in that it is a thing of his own search 134and altogether against my will.
Charles, I thank thee for thy love to me, which 136thou shalt find I will most kindly requite. I had myself 137notice of my brother's purpose herein, and have by 138underhand means labored to dissuade him from it; 139but he is resolute. I'll tell thee, Charles, it is the stubbornest 140young fellow of France, full of ambition, an envious emulator 141of every man's good parts, a secret and villainous 142contriver against me his natural brother. Therefore use 143thy discretion. I had as lief thou didst break his neck 144as his finger. And thou wert best look to't; for if thou 145dost him any slight disgrace, or if he do not mightily 146grace himself on thee, he will practice against thee by 147poison, entrap thee by some treacherous device, and never 148leave thee till he hath ta'en thy life by some indirect 149means or other; for, I assure thee, and almost with 150tears I speak it, there is not one so young and so villainous 151this day living. I speak but brotherly of him, 152but should I anatomize him to thee as he is, I must 153blush and weep, and thou must look pale and 154wonder.
I am heartily glad I came hither to you. If he 156come tomorrow I'll give him his payment. If ever he 157go alone again, I'll never wrestle for prize more. And 158so, God keep Your Worship!
Exit.
Farewell, good Charles. Now will I stir this gamester. 160I hope I shall see an end of him; for my soul, yet 161I know not why, hates nothing more than he. Yet he's 162gentle, never schooled and yet learned, full of noble 163device, of all sorts enchantingly beloved, and indeed 164so much in the heart of the world, and especially of my 165own people, who best know him, that I am altogether 166misprized. But it shall not be so long; this wrestler shall 167clear all. Nothing remains but that I kindle the boy 168thither, which now I'll go about.
Exit.