Not Peer Reviewed
- Edition: As You Like It
Everyman In His Humor (Modern)
- Introduction
- Texts of this edition
- Contextual materials
- Facsimiles
'Sblood, I cannot choose but laugh to see myself translated thus, 694from a poor creature to a creator; for now must I create an intolerable 695sort of lies, or else my profession loses his grace. And yet the lie 696to a man of my coat is as ominous as the fico. Oh, sir, 697it holds for good policy to have that outwardly in vilest estimation that inwardly 698is most dear to us. So much for my borrowed shape. Well, the truth 699is my master intends to follow his son dryfoot to Florence this morning. Now 700I, knowing of this conspiracy, and the rather to insinuate with my young master 701-- for so must we that are blue-waiters or men of service do, or 702else perhaps we may wear motley at the year's end, and who wears motley 703you know -- I have got me afore in this disguise, determining here to 704lie in ambuscado and intercept him in the mid way. If I can but 705get his cloak, his purse, his hat -- nay, anything so I can stay 706his journey, rex regum, I am made forever, i'faith. Well, now must I 707practice to get the true garb of one of these lance-knights. [He assumes a 708military posture.] My arm here and my -- Godso, young master and his cousin [He stands aside.]
[To Stephano] So, sir, and how then?
God's foot, I have lost my purse, I think.
How, lost your purse? Where? When had you it?
I cannot tell. Stay!
[Aside] 'Slid, I am afeard they will know me. Would I could get by them!
What, have you it?
No, I think I was bewitched, I.
Nay, do not weep. A pox on it! Hang it, let it go.
[Finding the purse] Oh, it's here. Nay, an it had been 719lost, I had not cared but for a jet ring Marina sent me.
A jet ring? Oh, the posy, the posy?
Fine, i'faith:
Most excellent!
And then I sent her another, and my posy was
How, "by Saint Peter"? I do not conceive that.
Marry, "Saint Peter," to make up the meter.
Well, you are beholding to that saint; he helped you at your need. Thank him, thank him.
[Aside] I will venture, come what will. [Coming forward] Gentlemen, please 733you change a few crowns for a very excellent good blade here? [He presents 734his sword.] I am a poor gentleman, a soldier, one that in the better 735state of my fortunes scorned so mean a refuge, but now it's the humor 736of necessity to have it so. You seem to be gentlemen well affected to 737martial men, else I should rather die with silence than live with shame. Howe'er, 738vouchsafe to remember it is my want speaks, not myself. This condition agrees not with my spirit.
Where hast thou served?
May it please you, signor, in all the provinces of Bohemia, 741Hungaria, Dalmatia, Poland -- where not? I have been a poor servitor by sea 742and land any time this fourteen years, and followed the fortunes of the best 743commanders in Christendom. I was twice shot at the taking of Aleppo, once at 744the relief of Vienna. I have been at America in the galleys thrice, where 745I was most dangerously shot in the head, through both the thighs; and yet, 746being thus maimed, I am void of maintenance, nothing left me but my scars, the noted marks of my resolution.
[Examining Musco's sword] How will you sell this rapier, friend?
Faith, signor, I refer it to your own judgment. You are a gentleman; give me what you please.
True, I am a gentleman, I know that. But what though? I pray you say what would you ask.
I assure you, the blade may become the side of the best prince in Europe.
Ay, with a velvet scabbard!
Nay, an't be mine it shall have a velvet scabbard, that 753is flat. I'd not wear it as 'tis an you would give me an angel.
At your pleasure, signor. Nay, it's a most pure Toledo.
I had rather it were a Spaniard. But tell me, what 756shall I give you for it? An it had a silver hilt --
Come, come, you shall not buy it.
[To Musco, offering him a coin] Hold, there's a shilling, friend. Take thy rapier.
Why, but I will buy it now because you say so. What, shall I go without a rapier?
You may buy one in the city.
Tut, I'll buy this, so I will. -- Tell me your lowest price.
You shall not, I say.
By God's lid, but I will, though I give more than 'tis worth.
Come away. You are a fool.
Friend, I'll have it for that word.
[To Musco] Follow me.
At your service, signor.
Exeunt.