The Merry Wives of Windsor (Modern, Quarto)

1.0.11[Scene 1]
 1.0.221 Enter Justice Shallow, Sir Hugh, Master Page,2 and Slender. 
 1.163 Shallow 
 Ne'er talk to me! I'll make a Star74 Chamber matter of it.365 The council shall know it. 
 1.236.16 Page 
 Nay, good Master Shallow, be persuaded by me. 
 1.336.27 Slender 
 Nay, surely my uncle shall not put it up so. 
 1.436.38 Evans 
 Will you not hear reasons, Master Slenders?36.49 You should hear reasons. 
 1.536.510 Shallow 
 Though he be a knight, he shall not think to36.611 carry it so away.36.712 Master Page, I will not be wronged. For you,36.813 sir, I love you, and, for my cousin,36.914 he comes to look upon your daughter. 
 1.636.1015 Page 
 And here's my hand, and if my daughter36.1116 like him so well as I, we'll quickly have it a match.36.1217 In the meantime, let me entreat you to sojourn36.1318 here a while. And on my life I'll undertake36.1419 to make you friends. 
 1.736.1520 Evans 
 1.8 I pray you, Master Shallows, let it be so.36.1621 The matter is pud to arbitarments.13022 The first man is Master Page, videlicet Master Page.23 The second is myself, videlicet myself.13124 And the third and last man is mine host of the Garter.131.125 
 1.8.1 Enter Sir John Falstaff, Pistol, Bardolph,131.226 and Nym 
 10427 Here is Sir John himself now, look you. 
 1.910528 Falstaff 
 Now, Master Shallow, you'll complain of me10629 to the council, I hear? 
 1.1010730 Shallow 
 Sir John, Sir John, you have hurt my keeper,31 killed my dogs, stolen my deer. 
 1.1110932 Falstaff 
 But not kissed your keeper's daughter. 
 1.1211033 Shallow 
 Well, this shall be answered. 
 1.1311134 Falstaff 
 I'll answer it straight. I have done all this.11235 This is now answered. 
 1.1411336 Shallow 
 Well, the council shall know it. 
 1.1511437 Falstaff 
 'Twere better for you 'twere known in counsel.11538 You'll be laughed at. 
 1.1611639 Evans 
 Good 'ords, Sir John, good 'ords. 
 1.1711740 Falstaff 
 Good worts? Good cabbage! --41 Slender, I brake your head.11842 What matter have you against me? 
 1.1811943 Slender 
 I have matter in my head against you and12044 your cogging companions, Pistol and Nym. They120.145 carried me to the tavern and made me drunk,120.246 and afterward picked my pocket. 
 1.1914147 Falstaff 
 What say you to this, Pistol? Did you pick48 Master Slender's purse, Pistol? 
 1.2014249 Slender 
 Ay, by this handkercher, did he. Two fair14450 shovel-board shillings, besides seven groats in mill144.151 sixpences. 
 1.21144.252 Falstaff 
 What say you to this, Pistol? 
 1.2215053 Pistol 
 Sir John and master mine, I combat crave
 1.2354 Of this same latten bilbo. [To Slender]  I do retort the lie
 55 Even in thy gorge, thy gorge, thy gorge! 
 1.2415356 Slender 
  By this light it was he then. 
 1.25153.157 Nym 
 Sir, my honor is not for many words,15558 but if you run base humors of me,15459 I will say "marry, trap!" And there's the humor of it. 
 1.2617260 Falstaff 
 You hear these matters denied, gentlemen,17361 you hear it. 
 1.26.1173.162 Enter Mistress Ford, Mistress Page, and her173.263 daughter Anne. 
 1.27173.364 Page 
 No more now.173.465 I think it be almost dinner-time,173.566 for my wife is come to meet us. 
 1.28173.667 Falstaff 
  [To Mistress Page] Mistress Ford, I think your name is,173.768 if I mistake not. 
 1.28.1173.869 Sir John kisses [Mistress Page]. 
 1.29173.970 Mistress Ford 
 Your mistake, sir, is nothing but in the173.1071 mistress. But my husband's name is Ford, sir. 
 1.30173.1172 Falstaff 
 I shall desire your more acquaintance. [Sir John kisses her.]173.1273 The like of you, good Mistress Page. 
 1.31173.1374 Mistress Page 
 With all my heart, Sir John.173.1475  -- Come, husband, will you go?173.1576 Dinner stays for us. 
 1.32173.1677 Page 
 With all my heart. Come along, gentlemen. 
 1.32.1173.1778 Exeunt all but Slender and173.1879 Mistress Anne.  
 1.33173.1980 Anne 
 Now, forsooth, why do you stay me?173.2081 What would you with me? 
 1.34173.2182 Slender 
 Nay, for my own part, I would little or173.2283 nothing with you. I love you well, and my uncle can173.2384 tell you how my living stands. An if you can love173.2485 me, why so. If not, why then happy man be his173.2586 dole. 
 1.35173.2687 Anne 
 You say well, Master Slender.273.2788 But first you must give me leave to273.2889 be acquainted with your humor,273.2990 and afterward to love you if I can. 
 1.36273.3091 Slender 
 Why, by God, there's never a man in273.3192 Christendom can desire more. 
  [Dogs bark offstage.] 
 What, have you bears26293 in your town, Mistress Anne, your dogs bark so? 
 1.3726794 Anne 
 I cannot tell, Master Slender, I think there be. 
 1.3827095 Slender 
 Ha, how say you? I warrant you're afeard of26696 a bear let loose, are you not? 
 1.3997 Anne 
 Yes, trust me. 
 1.4026898 Slender 
 Now that's meat and drink to me!26999  I'll run you to a bear, and take her by the muzzle --269.1100 you never saw the like!269.2101 But indeed I cannot blame you, 
 1.41272102 for they are marvellous rough things. 
 272.1103 Anne 
 Will you go in to dinner, Master Slender?272.2104 The meat stays for you. 
 1.42272.3105 Slender 
 No, faith, not I. I thank you,260106 I cannot abide the smell of hot meat,257107 ne'er since I broke my shin. I'll tell you how it came,259108 by my troth. A fencer and I played three venies109 for a dish of stewed prunes, and I with my ward259.1110 defending my head, he hot my shin. Yes, faith. 
 1.42.1259.2111 Enter Master Page. 
 1.43273112 Page 
 Come, come, Master Slender, dinner stays for113 you. 
 1.44274114 Slender 
 I can eat no meat, I thank you. 
 1.45275115 Page 
 You shall not choose, I say. 
 1.46277116 Slender 
 I'll follow you, sir. Pray lead the way.279117 Nay, by God, Mistress Anne, you shall go first.281118 I have more manners than so, I hope. 
 1.47281.1119 Anne 
 Well, sir, I will not be troublesome. 
 1.47.1285120 Exeunt omnes. 
 2.0.1287 [Scene 2] 
 2.0.2121 Enter Sir Hugh [with a letter] and Simple from dinner. 
 2.1288122 Evans 
 Hark you, Simple, pray you bear this letter123 to Doctor Caius's house, the French doctor. He is288.1124 twell up along the street, and inquire of his house289125 for one Mistress Quickly, his woman, or his try-nurse,293126 and deliver this letter to her. It -- 'tis about Master293.1127 Slender. Look you, will you do it now? 
 2.2293.2128 Simple 
 I warrant you, sir. 
 2.3296129 Evans 
 Pray you do. I must not be absent at the296.1130 grace.297131 I will go make an end of my dinner,132 there is pippins and cheese behind. 
 2.3.1298133 Exeunt.
 3.0.1300 [Scene 3] 
 3.0.2134 Enter Sir John Falstaff, Host of the Garter,135 Nym, Bardolph, Pistol, and the Boy. 
 3.1301136 Falstaff 
 Mine host of the Garter. 
 3.2302137 Host 
 What says my bully rook?138 Speak scholarly and wisely. 
 3.3304139 Falstaff 
 Mine host, I must turn away some of my305140 followers. 
 3.4306141 Host 
 Discard, bully Hercules, cashier.142 Let them wag, trot, trot. 
 3.5308143 Falstaff 
 I sit at ten pound a week. 
 3.6309144 Host 
 Thou art an emperor: Caesar, vizier, and145 Kaiser, bully.310146 I'll entertain Bardolph. He shall tap, he shall draw.311147 Said I well, bully Hector? 
 3.7312148 Falstaff 
 Do, good mine host. 
 3.8313149 Host 
 I have spoke. Let him follow. -- Bardolph,150 let me see thee froth and lime. I am at314151 a word. Follow, follow. 
 3.8.1314.1152 Exit Host. 
 3.9315153 Falstaff 
 Do, Bardolph; a tapster is a good trade.316154 An old cloak will make a new jerkin,155 a withered servingman, a fresh tapster.317156 Follow him, Bardolph. 
 3.10318157 Bardolph 
 I will, sir. I'll warrant you I'll make a good158 shift to live. [Exit.]
 3.11319160 Pistol 
 O base gongarian wight, wilt thou the161 spigot wield? 
 3.12319.1162 Nym 
 His mind is not heroic. And there's the319.2163 humor of it. 
 3.13327164 Falstaff 
 Well my lads, I am almost out at the165 heels. 
 3.14328166 Pistol 
 Why then let kibes ensue. 
 3.15328.1167 Nym 
 I thank thee for that humor. 
 3.16321168 Falstaff 
 Well, I am glad I am so rid of this tinder169 boy.170 His stealth was too open; his filching was like322171 an unskilful singer: he kept not time. 
 3.17324172 Nym 
 The good humor is to steal at a minute's173 rest. 
 3.18324.1174 Pistol 
 'Tis so indeed, Nym, thou hast hit it right. 
 3.19329175 Falstaff 
 Well, afore God, I must cheat, I must coney-176catch. --331177 Which of you knows Ford of this town? 
 3.20332178 Pistol 
 I ken the wight; he is of substance good. 
 3.21333179 Falstaff 
 Well, my honest lads, I'll tell you what180 I am about. 
 3.22334181 Pistol 
 Two yards and more. 
 3.23335182 Falstaff 
 No gibes now, Pistol. Indeed I am two yards183 in the waist, but now I am about no waste.337184 Briefly, I am about thrift, you rogues you!185 I do intend to make love to Ford's wife.338186 I espy entertainment in her. She carves, she187 discourses, she gives the lure of invitation,339188 and every part to be construed rightly is "I am341189 Sir John Falstaff's." 
 3.24342190 Pistol 
 He hath studied her well, out of honesty
 3.25343191 Into English. 
 3.26345192 Falstaff 
 Now the report goes, she hath all the rule193 of her husband's purse. She hath legions of angels. 
 3.27347194 Pistol 
 As many devils attend her,
 3.28195 And "To her, boy!", say I. 
 3.29349196 Falstaff 
 [Holds up two letters.] Here's a letter to her. Here's another to350197 Mistress Page.198 who even now gave me good eyes too, examined356199 my exteriors with such a greedy intentiom, with the352200 beams of her beauty, that it seemed as she would358201 'a' scorched me up like a burning-glass. Here is361202 another letter to her: she bears the purse too. They203 shall be exchequers to me, and I'll be cheaters to204 them both. They shall be my East and West Indies362205 and I'll trade to them both. [Offering a letter to Pistol]  Here, bear thou this363206 letter to Mistress Ford. [Offering another to Nym]  And thou this to Mistress207 Page. We'll thrive, lads, we will thrive. 
 3.30366208 Pistol 
 Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become?
 3.31367209 And by my sword wear steel?
 3.32210 Then Lucifer take all. [He rejects the letter.] 
 3.33368211 Nym 
 Here, take your humor letter again.369212 For my part, I will keep the 'havior213 of reputation. And there's the humor of it. 
 3.34370214 Falstaff 
  [To the Boy]  Here, sirrah, bear me these letters tightly;
 3.35371215 Sail like my pinnace to the golden shores.
 3.36372216 [To Pistol and Nym]  Hence, slaves, avaunt! Vanish like hailstones, go!
 3.37374217 Falstaff will learn the humor of this age,
 3.38375218 French thrift, [To Pistol]  you rogue, myself and skirted page. 
 375.1219 Exeunt Falstaff 
 375.2220 and the Boy. 
 3.39378221 Pistol 
 And art thou gone? Tester I'll have in pouch
 3.40222 When thou shalt want, base Phrygian Turk! 
 3.41380223 Nym 
 I have operations in my head, which are381224 humors of revenge. 
 3.42382225 Pistol 
 Wilt thou revenge? 
 3.43383226 Nym 
 By welkin and her fairies. 
 3.44384227 Pistol 
 By wit, or sword? 
 3.45385228 Nym 
 With both the humors I will disclose this386229 love to Page. I'll possess him with yellows,386.1230 and there's the humor of it. 
 3.46387231 Pistol 
 And I to Ford will likewise tell
 3.47388232 How Falstaff, varlot vile,
 3.48389233 Would have her love, his dove would prove,
 3.49390234 And eke his bed defile. 
 235 Nym
 Let us about it then. 
 3.50395236 Pistol 
 I'll second thee, Sir Corporal Nym, troop on!
 3.50.1396237 Exeunt. 
 4.0.1398 [Scene 4] 
 4.0.2238 Enter Mistress Quickly and Simple. 
 4.1239 Quickly 
 Master Slender is your master's name, say you? 
 4.2416240 Simple 
 Ay, indeed, that is his name. 
 4.3416.1241 Quickly 
 How say you? I take it he is somewhat a416.2242 weakly man,417243 and he has, as it were, a whey-colored beard. 
 4.4420244 Simple 
 Indeed, my master's beard is cane-colored. 
 4.5420.1245 Quickly  
 Cane-color, you say well.420.2246 And is this letter from sir yon about Mistress Anne,420.3247 is it not? 
 4.6420.4248 Simple 
 Ay, indeed, is it. 
 4.7420.5249 Quickly 
 So. And your master would have me as420.6250 it were to speak to Mistress Anne concerning him.420.7251 I promise you my master hath a great-affectioned mind420.8252 to Mistress Anne himself. And if he should know420.9253 that I should, as they say, give my verdict for anyone420.10254 but himself, I should hear of it thoroughly. For429255 I tell you, friend, he puts all his privities in me. 
 4.8429.1256 Simple 
 Ay, by my faith, you are a good stay to him. 
 4.9429.2257 Quickly 
 Am I? Ay, an you knew all, you'd say so!485258  Washing, brewing, baking, all goes through my hands,485.1259 or else it would be but a woe house. 
 4.10488260 Simple 
 Ay, beshrow me, one woman to do all this488.1261 is very painful. 
 4.11490262 Quickly 
 Are you avised of that? Ay, I warrant you,402264  and he is such a honest man, an he should chance403265 To come home and find a man here, we should403.1266 have no "who?" with him. He is a parlous man. 
 4.12403.2267 Simple 
 Is he indeed? 
 4.13403.3268 Quickly 
 "Is he," quoth you? God keep him abroad --  [Knocking at the door] 403.4269 Lord bless me, who knocks there?433270 For God's sake, step into the counting-house,433.1271 while I go see who's at door.
 4.13.1433.2272 He steps into the counting-house. 
 4.14273 What, John Rugby, John --  And she opens the door.433.3274 Are you come home, sir, already? 
 4.14.1433.4275  [Enter Doctor Caius.] 
 4.15433.5276 Caius 
 Ay, begar, I be forget my ointment. Where be John Rugby? 
 4.15.1448.1278 Enter John [Rugby]. 
 4.16450279 Rugby 
 Here, sir, do you call? 
 4.17451280 Caius 
 Ay, you be John Rugby, and you be Jack Rugby!452281 Go run up vit your heels and bring away452.1282 de ointment in de vindow present.455283 Make haste, John Rugby. Oh, I am almost forget456284 my simples in a box in de counting-house -- [He opens the door to the counting-house.]459285 O Jeshu, vat be here, a devil-la, a devil-la?460286 My rapier, John Rugby. -- [To Simple] Vat be you, vat make458287 you in my counting-house?458.1288 I tink you be a tief. 
 4.18458.2289 Quickly 
 Jesu bless me, we are all undone. 
 4.19458.3290 Simple 
 O Lord, sir, no! I am no thief.458.4291 I am a servingman.458.5292 My name is John Simple. I brought a letter, sir,474293 from my Master Slender about Mistress Anne Page,474.1294 sir. Indeed, that is my coming. 
 4.20474.2295 Caius 
 Ay, begar, is dat all? -- John Rugby, give-a moi  pen478296 an' ink. -- [To Simple] Tarde un petit peu, tarde  a little. 
 4.20.1478.1297 The Doctor writes. 
 4.21478.2298 Simple 
 O God, what a furious man is this? 
 4.22478.3299 Quickly 
 Nay, it is well he is no worse:480300 I am glad he is so quiet. 
 4.23496301 Caius 
 Here give dat same to Sir Hugh: it bear ze challenge.497302 Begar, tell him I will cut his nase, will you? 
 4.24497.1303 Simple 
 Ay, sir, I'll tell him so. 
 4.25512304 Caius 
 Dat be vell. -- My rapier, John Rugby. Follow moi . 
 4.25.1512.1305 Exit Doctor [with Rugby]. 
 4.26512.2306 Quickly 
 Well, my friend, I cannot tarry. Tell your512.3307 master I'll do what I can for him,512.4308 and so farewell. 
 4.27512.5309 Simple 
 Marry, will I. -- [Aside]  I am glad I am got hence.
 4.27.1512.6310 Exeunt. 
 5.0.1522 [Scene 5] 
 5.0.2
 5.1311 Enter Mistress Page, reading of552.1312 a letter. 
 557313 Mistress Page 
 Mistress Page, I love you. Ask me no reason,557.1314 Because they're impossible to allege. You're fair,561315 and I am fat. You love sack; so do I.562316 As I am sure I have no mind but to love,562.1317 So I know you have no heart but to grant. 562.2318 A soldier doth not use many words, where 'a knows562.3319 a letter may serve for a sentence. I love you,562.4320 and so I leave you.567321 Yours, Sir John Falstaff.
 562.5322 Now Jesu bless me, am I metamorphized?562.6323  I think I know not myself. Why, what i' God's562.7324 name doth this man see in me, that thus he shoots562.8325 at my honesty? Well, but that I know my own562.9326 heart, I should scarcely persuade myself I were562.10327 hand. Why, what an unreasonable woolsack is this?562.11328 He was never twice in my company, and if then I562.12329 thought I gave such assurance with my eyes, I'd pull562.13330 them out. They should never see more holy days.562.14331 Well, I shall trust fat men the worse while I live for577332 his sake. O God, that I knew how to be revenged of577.1333 him! But in good time, here's Mistress Ford. 
 5.1.1577.2334 Enter Mistress Ford. 
 5.2577.3335 Mistress Ford 
 How now, Mistress Page, are you reading577.4336 love letters? How do you, woman? 
 5.3577.5337 Mistress Page 
 O woman, I am I know not what:577.6338 in love up to the hard ears. I was never in such a577.7339 case in my life. 
 5.4577.8340 Mistress Ford 
 In love? Now, in the name of God, with577.9341 whom? 
 5.5577.10342 Mistress Page 
 With one that swears he loves me,577.11343 and I must not choose but do the like again.577.12344 I prithee look on that letter. 
  [She gives her letter to Mistress Ford, who glances at it and pulls out another letter.] 
 5.6614345 Mistress Ford 
 I'll match your letter just with the like,614.1346 line for line, word for word. Only the name347 of Mistress Page and Mistress Ford disagrees.614.2348 Do me the kindness to look upon this. 
 5.7614.3349 Mistress Page 
 Why, this is right my letter.614.4350 Oh, most notorious villain!614.6351 Why, what a bladder of iniquity is this?636352 Let's be revenged whatsoe'er we do. 
 5.8636.1353 Mistress Ford 
 Revenged? If we live, we'll be revenged!641354 O Lord, if my husband should see this letter,642355 i'faith, this would even give edge to his jealousy. 
 5.8.1642.1356 Enter Ford, Page, Pistol, and Nym. 
 5.9644357 Mistress Page 
  [Aside to Mistress Page]  See where our husbands are.645358 Mine's as far from jealousy359 as I am from wronging him. 
  [They continue to talk apart from the men.] 
 5.10645.1360 Pistol 
 Ford, the words I speak are forced:
 5.11653361 Beware, take heed, for Falstaff loves thy wife.
 5.12653.1362 When Pistol lies, do this! 
  [He mimes a violent death blow against himself.] 
 5.13654363 Ford 
 Why, sir, my wife is not young. 
 5.14655364 Pistol 
 He woos both young and old, both rich and poor.
 5.15656365 None comes amiss. I say he loves thy wife. 
 5.16656.1366 Fair warning did I give. Take heed,
 5.17665367 For summer comes, and cuckoo birds appear.-- [To Page] 
 5.18665.1368 Page, believe him what he says. -- [He salutes.]  Away, sir Corporal Nym! 
 5.18.1665.2369 Exit Pistol.  
 5.19665.3370 Nym 
 Sir, the humor of it is, he loves your wife.670371 I should ha' borne the humor letter to her.674372 I speak and I avouch 'tis true. My name is Nym.675373  Farewell. I love not the humor of bread and cheese,675.1374 and there's the humor of it.  
 5.19.1 Exit Nym. 
 5.20677375 Page 
 "The humor of it," quoth you!376 Here's a fellow frights humor out of his wits. 
  [The wives come forward to greet their husbands.] 
 5.21687377 Mistress Page 
 How now, sweetheart, how dost thou? 
 5.21.1687.1378 Enter Mistress Quickly [unseen at first]. 
 5.22687.2379 Page 
  [To Ford]  How now, man? -- How do you, Mistress Ford? 
 5.23687.3380 Mistress Ford 
 Well, I thank you, good Master Page.381 -- How now, husband, how chance thou art so688382 melancholy? 
 5.24689383 Ford 
 Melancholy? I am not melancholy.690384 Go, get you in, go. 
 5.25694385 Mistress Ford 
  [Aside to Mistress Page, looking at Mistress Quickly]  God save me, see who yonder is.386 We'll set her a-work in this business. 
 5.26696387 Mistress Page 
  [Aside to Mistress Ford]  Oh, she'll serve excellent. -- [To Mistress Quickly]697388 Now you come to see my daughter Anne, I am sure. 
 5.27698389 Quickly 
 Ay, forsooth, that is my coming. 
 5.28700390 Mistress Page 
 Come, go in with me. Come, Mistress Ford. 
 5.29700.1391 Mistress Ford  
 I follow you, Mistress Page. 
 5.29.1700.2392 Exeunt Mistress Ford, Mistress Page, and [Mistress] Quickly. 
 5.30703393 Ford 
 Master Page, did you hear what these fellows said? 
 5.31704394 Page 
 Yes, Master Ford, what of that, sir? 
 5.32705395 Ford 
 Do you think it is true that they told us? 
 5.33705.1396 Page 
 No, by my troth, do I not.705.2397 I rather take them to be paltry lying knaves,705.3398 such as rather speaks of envy,705.4399 than of any certain they have705.5400 of anything. And for the knight, perhaps705.6401 he hath spoke merrily, as the fashion of fat men705.7402 are, but should he love my wife,705.8403 i'faith, I'd turn her loose to him,705.9404 and what he got more of her705.10405 than ill looks and shrewd words,705.11406 why, let me bear the penalty of it. 
 5.34718407 Ford 
 Nay, I do not mistrust my wife;408 yet I'd be loath to turn them together.719409 A man may be too confident. 
 5.34.1719.1410 Enter Host and [Justice] Shallow [trailing behind]. 
 5.35722411 Page 
 Here comes my ramping host of the Garter.723412 There's either liquor in his head, or money in his purse,724413 that he looks so merrily. -- [Greeting him]  Now, mine host? 
 5.36726414 Host 
 God bless you, my bully rooks, God bless you.727415  -- [Calling to Shallow]  Cavaliero Justice, I say. 
 5.37728416 Shallow 
 At hand, mine host, at hand. -- Master Ford, god den to you.728.1417 -- God den an' twenty, good Master Page.730418 I tell you, sir, we have sport in hand. 
 5.38731419 Host 
 Tell him, Cavaliero Justice, tell him, bully rook. 
 5.39735420 Ford 
  [Nodding the Host aside]  Mine host o'the Garter. 
 5.40735.1421 Host 
 What says my bully rook? 
 5.41422 Ford 
 A word with you, sir. 
 5.41.1735.2423 Ford and the host talk [aside]. 
 5.42735.3424 Shallow 
  [To Page]  Hark you, sir, I'll tell you what the sport shall be:733425 Doctor Caius and Sir Hugh are to fight.737426 My merry host hath had the measuring738427 of their weapons, and hath428 appointed them contrary places. Hark in your ear. 
  [Shallow and Page talk aside.] 
 5.43742429 Host 
 Hast thou no suit against my knight,430 my guest, my cavaliero? 
 5.44744431 Ford 
 None, I protest. But tell him my name746432 is Brook, only for a jest. 
 5.45747433 Host 
 My hand, bully. [They shake hands.]  Thou shalt434 have egress and regress, and thy748435 name shall be Brook. Said I well, bully Hector? 
 5.46749436 Shallow 
 I tell you what, Master Page, I believe740437 the doctor is no jester. He'll lay it on,740.1438 for though we be justices, and doctors,740.2439 and churchmen, yet we are740.3440 the sons of women, Master Page. 
 5.47740.4441 Page 
 True, Master Shallow. 
 5.48740.5442 Shallow 
 It will be found so, Master Page. 
 5.49740.6443 Page 
 Master Shallow, you yourself740.7444 have been a great fighter,740.8445 though now a man of peace. 
 5.50756446 Shallow 
 Master Page, I have seen the day that young757447 tall fellows with their stroke and their passado757.1448 I have made them trudge, Master Page.755449 Ah, 'tis the heart, the heart doth all! I450 have seen the day, with my two-hand sword,451 I would 'a' made you four tall fencers452 skipped like rats. 
 5.51759453 Host 
 Here, boys, shall we wag, shall we wag? 
 5.52760454 Shallow 
 Ha' with you, mine host. 
   Exeunt Host and Shallow. 
 5.53760.2456 Page 
 Come, Master Ford, shall we to dinner?760.3457 I know these fellows sticks in your mind. 
 5.54760.4458 Ford 
 No, in good sadness. not in mine.765459  [Aside]  Yet for all this, I'll try it further.765.1460 I will not leave it so.765.2461  [To Page]  Come, Master Page, shall we to dinner? 
 5.55765.3462 Page 
 With all my heart, sir. I'll follow you. 
 5.55.1768463 Exeunt. 
 6.0.1770 [Scene 6] 
 6.0.2464 Enter Sir John [Falstaff] and Pistol. 
 6.1772465 Falstaff 
 I'll not lend thee a penny. 
 6.2772.1466 Pistol 
  I will retort the sum in equipage. 
 6.3775467 Falstaff 
  Not a penny! I have been content you776468 should lay my countenance to pawn. I have grated777469 upon my good friends for three reprieves for you and778470 your coach-fellow Nym, else you might 'a' looked471 through a grate like a gemini of baboons. I am779472 damned in hell for swearing to gentlemen you're good781473 soldiers and tall fellows. And when Mistress782474 Bridget lost the handle of her fan, I took't on my honor783475 thou hadst it not. 
 6.4784476 Pistol 
 Didst thou not share? Hadst thou not477 fifteen pence? 
 6.5786478 Falstaff
  Reason, you rogue, reason.479 Dost thou think I'll endanger my soul gratis?787480 In brief, hang no more about me. I am no gibbet 788481 for you. A short knife and a throng to your manor 789482 of Pickt-hatch, go. You'll not bear a letter for me,790483 you rogue you! You stand upon your honor! Why,791484 thou unconfinable baseness thou, 'tis as much as I792485 can do to keep the terms of my honor precise. I, I793486 myself sometimes, leaving the fear of God on794487 the left hand, am fain to shuffle, to filch, and to lurch.795488 And yet you stand upon your honor, you rogue!489 You, you -- 
 6.7800490 Pistol 
 I do recant. What wouldst thou more of man? 
 6.8800.1491 Falstaff  
 Well, go to, away! No more. 
 6.8.1800.2492 Enter Mistress Quickly. 
 6.9803493 Quickly 
 Good you god den, sir. 
 6.10804494 Falstaff 
 Good den, fair wife. 
 6.11805495 Quickly 
 Not so, an't like your worship. 
 6.12806496 Falstaff 
 Fair maid, then. 
 6.13807497 Quickly 
 That I am, I'll be sworn, as my mother was808498 the first hour I was born.810499 Sir, I would speak with you in private. 
 6.14812500 Falstaff 
 Say on, I prithee. Here's none but my own812.1501 household. 
 6.15812.2502 Quickly 
 Are they so? Now God bless them, and812.3503 make them his servants.812.4504 Sir, I come from Mistress Ford. 
 6.16817505 Falstaff 
 So, from Mistress Ford. Go on. 
 6.17817.1506 Quickly 
 Ay, sir, she hath sent me to you to let you849507 understand she hath received your letter,849.1508 and, let me tell you, she is one stands upon her credit. 
 6.18849.2509 Falstaff 
 Well, come -- Mistress Ford, Mistress Ford? 
 6.19849.3510 Quickly 
 Ay, sir, and, as they say, she is not the first849.4511 hath been led in a fool's paradise. 
 6.20849.5512 Falstaff 
 Nay, prithee, be brief, my good she-Mercury. 
 6.21851513 Quickly 
 Marry, sir, she'd have you meet her between852514 eight and nine. 
 6.22859515 Falstaff 
 So, between eight and nine? 
 6.23859.1516 Quickly 
 Ay, forsooth, for then her husband goes a-birding. 
 6.24894517 Falstaff 
 Well, commend me to thy mistress. Tell her895518 I will not fail her. --- Boy, give her my purse. 
  [The Boy offers money.] 
 6.25861519 Quickly 
 Nay, sir, I have another errand to do to you862520 from Mistress Page. 
 6.26862.1521 Falstaff 
 From Mistress Page? I prithee, what of her? 
 6.27869522 Quickly 
 By my troth, I think you work by enchantments,869.1523 else they could never love you as they do. 
 6.28871524 Falstaff 
 Not I, I assure thee. Setting the attraction of my872525 good parts aside, I use no other enchantments. 
 6.29872.1526 Quickly 
 Well, sir, she loves you extremely.872.2527 And let me tell you, she's one that fears God,881528 and her husband gives her leave to do all,880529 for he is not half so jealousy as Master Ford is. 
 6.30874530 Falstaff 
 But hark thee, hath Mistress Page and Mistress Ford875531 acquainted each other how dearly they love me? 
 6.31875.1532 Quickly 
 O God, no, sir! There were a jest indeed. 
 6.32533 Falstaff 
 Well, farewell, commend me to Mistress Ford.894.1534 I will not fail her, say. 
 6.33894.2535 Quickly 
 God be with your worship. 
 6.33.1894.3536 Exit Mistress Quickly. 
 6.33.2894.4537 Enter Bardolph. 
 6.34906538 Bardolph 
 Sir, here's a gentleman,539 one Master Brook, would speak with you.908540 He hath sent you a cup of sack. 
 6.35911541 Falstaff 
 Master Brook, he's welcome: Bid him come up,542 Such Brooks are always welcome to me. 
  [Exit Bardolph.] 
 911.1543 Ah, Jack, will thy old body yet hold out?911.2544 Wilt thou, after the expense of so much money,911.3545 be now a gainer? Good body, I thank thee,911.4546 and I'll make more of thee than I ha' done.911.5547 Ha, ha, Mistress Ford and Mistress Page, have911.6548 I caught you o'the hip? Go to! 
 6.35.1911.7549 Enter Ford disguised like Brook. 
 6.36914550 Ford 
 God save you, sir. 
 6.37915551 Falstaff 
 And you too. Would you speak with me? 
 6.38916552 Ford 
 Marry, would I, sir. I am somewhat bold to trouble you.921553 My name is Brook. 
 6.39918554 Falstaff 
 Good Master Brook, you're very welcome. 
 6.40920555 Ford 
 I'faith, sir, I am a gentleman and a traveler928556 that have seen somewhat. And I have often heard557 that, if money goes before, all ways lie open. 
 6.41930558 Falstaff 
 Money is a good soldier, sir, and will on. 
 6.42931559 Ford 
 I'faith, sir, and I have a bag here [Showing a money-bag] .932560 Would you would help me to bear it. 
 6.43934561 Falstaff 
 O Lord, would I could tell how to deserve562 to be your porter. 
 6.44934.1563 Ford 
 That may you easily, Sir John. I have an earnest945564 suit to you. But, good Sir John, when I have946565 told you my grief, cast one eye of your own948566 estate, since yourself knew what 'tis to be949567 such an offender. 
 6.45950568 Falstaff 
 Very well, sir, proceed. 
 6.46951569 Ford 
 Sir, I am deeply in love with one Ford's wife951.1570 of this town. Now, Sir John, you are a gentleman951.2571 of good discoursing, well beloved among ladies,951.3572 a man of such parts that might win twenty such as she. 
 6.47953573 Falstaff 
 Oh, good sir! 
 6.48953.1574 Ford 
 Nay, believe it, Sir John, for 'tis time. Now, my love953.2575 is so grounded upon her that without her love953.3576 I shall hardly live. 
 6.49972577 Falstaff 
 Have you importuned her by any means? 
 6.50973578 Ford 
 No, never, sir. 
 6.51974579 Falstaff 
 Of what quality is your love then? 
 6.52975580 Ford 
 I'faith, sir, like a fair house set upon581 another man's foundation. 
 6.53978582 Falstaff 
 And to what end have you unfolded this to me? 
 6.54979583 Ford 
 Oh, sir, when I have told you that, I told you all,998584 for she, sir, stands so pure in the firm state999585 of her honesty that she is too bright to be looked1001586 against. Now, could I come against her587  with some detection, I should sooner persuade her1004588 from her marriage vow, and a hundred such nice589 terms that she'll stand upon. 
 6.55995590 Falstaff 
 Why would it apply well to the fervency996591 of your affection592 that another should possess what you would enjoy?593 Methinks you prescribe very preposterously997594 to yourself. 
 6.56997.1595 Ford 
 No, sir, for by that means should I be997.2596 certain of that which I now misdoubt. 
 6.571008597 Falstaff 
 Well, Master Brook, I'll first make bold with your money [Accepting the money-bag] .1009598 Next, give me your hand. [They shake hands.] . Lastly, you shall1010599 and you will enjoy Ford's wife. 
 6.581011600 Ford 
 Oh, good sir! 
 6.591012601 Falstaff 
 Master Brook, I say you shall. 
 6.601013602 Ford 
 Want no money, Sir John, you shall want none. 
 6.611014603 Falstaff 
 Want no Mistress Ford, Master Brook,604 you shall want none. Even as you came to me,1016605 her spokesmate, her go-between, parted from me.1017606 I may tell you, Master Brook, I am to meet her1018607 between eight and nine, for at that time the jealous1019608 cuckally knave, her husband, will be from home.609 Come to me soon at night. You shall know how1020610 I speed, Master Brook. 
 6.621021611 Ford 
 Sir, do you know Ford? 
 6.631023612 Falstaff 
 Hang him, poor cuckally knave, I know him not,1024613 and yet I wrong him to call him poor. For they614 say the cuckally knave hath legions of angels,1026615 for the which his wife seems to me well favored,616 and I'll use her as the key of the cuckally knave's1027617 coffer, and there's my rendezvous. 
 6.641029618 Ford 
 Methinks, sir, it were very good that you knew1030619 Ford, that you might shun him. 
 6.651031620 Falstaff 
 Hang him, cuckally knave, I'll stare him1032621 out of his wits. I'll keepe him in awe622 with this, my cudgel: it shall hang like a meteor1033623 o'er the wittolly knave's head. Master Brook, thou shalt1034624 see I will predominate o'er the peasant,1035625 and thou shalt lie with his wife. Master Brook,1037626 thou shalt know him for knave and cuckold!1038627 Come to me soon at night. 
 6.65.11038.1628 Exit Falstaff. 
 6.661039629 Ford 
 What a damned epicurian is this?
 6.671041630 My wife hath sent for him; the plot is laid.
 6.681051631 Page is an ass, a fool. A secure ass! 
 6.691054632 I'll sooner trust an Irishman with my633 aqua-vitae bottle, Sir Hugh, our parson, with my cheese,1055634 a thief to walk my ambling gelding, than my wife1056635 with herself. Then she plots, then she ruminates,1057636 and what she thinks in her heart she may effect --1058637 she'll break her heart but she will effect it.1059638 God be praised, God be praised for my jealousy!1060639 Well, I'll go prevent him. The time draws on.1062640 Better an hour too soon than a minute too late.1063641 God's my life -- cuckold, cuckold! 
 6.69.11064642 Exit Ford. 
 7.0.11066 [Scene 7] 
 7.0.2643 Enter the Doctor [Caius] and his man [Rugby]. 
 7.11067644 Caius 
 John Rugby, go look vit your eyes o'er de stall,1067.1645 and spy an you can see de parson. 
 7.21067.2646 Rugby 
 Sir, I cannot tell whether he be there or no,1067.3647 but I see a great many coming. 
 7.31078648 Caius 
 Baille-moi ma rapière, John Rugaby; begar, de1077649 herring be not so dead as I shall make him. 
 7.3.11077.1650 Enter Shallow, Page, my host [of the Garter], and Slender. 
 7.41077.2651 Page 
 God save you, Master Doctor Caius. 
 7.51077.3652 Shallow 
 How do you, master doctor? 
 7.61083653 Host 
 God bless thee, my bully doctor, God bless thee! 
 7.71087654 Caius 
 Vat be all you, van, two, tree, come for, ah? 
 7.81088655 Host 
 Bully, to see thee fight, to see thee foin, to656 see thee traverse, to see thee here, to see thee there,1089657 to see thee pass the punto, the stock, the reverse,1090658 the distance, the montant. Is 'a dead, my Français?1091659 Is 'a dead, my Ethiopian? Hah? What says my galant?1092660 my Aesculapius? Is 'a dead, bully's tail, is 'a dead? 
 7.91094661 Caius 
 Begar, de priest be a coward jack-knave!1095662 He dare not show his face. 
 7.101096663 Host 
 Thou art a Castalian king urinal,664 Hector of Greece, my boy! 
 7.111101665 Shallow 
 He hath shown himself the wiser man,666 master doctor.667  Sir Hugh is a parson, and you a physician. You must1116668 go with me, master doctor. 
 7.121117669 Host 
 Pardon, bully justice. -- A word, Monsieur Mockwater. 
  [They step away to talk aside.] 
 7.131119670 Caius 
 Mockwater, vat be dat? 
 7.141120671 Host 
 That is, in our English tongue, valor, bully,672 valor! 
 7.151122673 Caius 
 Begar, den I have as much mockvater as de Inglish1123674 jack-dog knave. 
 7.161125675 Host 
 He will clapperclaw thee tightly, bully. 
 7.171126676 Caius 
 Clapperclaw, vat be dat? 
 7.181127677 Host 
 That is, he will make thee amends. 
 7.191128678 Caius 
 Begar, I do look he shall clapperclaw me den,1130679 and I'll provoke him to do it, or let him wag.1132680  And moreover, bully -- [Returning to the others]  but Master Page and Master Shallow1133681 and eke Cavaliero Slender, go you all over the fields1134682 to Frogmore? 
 7.201135683 Page 
  [Aside to Host and Shallow]  Sir Hugh is there, is he? 
 7.211136684 Host 
  [Aside to Page and Shallow] He is there. Go see what humor he is in.685 I'll bring the doctor about by the fields.1137686 Will it do well? 
 7.221138687 Shallow 
 We will do it, my host. -- Farewell, Master Doctor. 
 7.22.11138.1688 Exeunt all but the Host and Doctor. 
 7.231140689 Caius 
 Begar, I will kill de cowardly jack-priest.1141690 He is make a fool of moi. 
 7.241142691 Host 
 Let him die, but first sheathe your impatience,692 throw cold water on your choler, come go with me1143693 through the fields to Frogmore, and I'll bring thee1144694 where Mistress Anne Page is a-feasting at a farm house,1145695 and thou shalt wear her. Cried game! Said I well, bully? 
 7.251147696 Caius 
 Begar, excellent vel, and if you speak pour1148697 moi, I shall procure you de guests of all de gentlemen1149698 mes patients. Ay, begar, I sall. 
 7.261150699 Host 
 For the which I'll be thy adversary1151700 to Mistress Anne Page. Said I well? 
 7.271152701 Caius 
 Ay, begar, excellent. 
 7.281153702 Host 
 Let us wag then. 
 7.291153.1703 Caius 
  Allons, allons, allons! 
 7.29.11155704 Exeunt. 
 8.0.11156 [Scene 8] 
 8.0.2705 Enter Sir Hugh [with a sword] and Simple [with the parson's gown]. 
 8.11159706 Evans 
 I pray you do so much as see if you can espy1161707 Doctor Caius coming, and give me intelligence,1161.1708 or bring me 'ord if you please now. 
 8.21161.2709 Simple 
 I will, sir.   [Exit.] 
 8.31169710 Evans 
 8.4 Jeshu pless me, how my heart trobs and trobs:1174711
  And then she made him beds of roses
 8.51175712 And a thousand fragrant posies
 8.6713 To shallow rivers.
   Now, so Kad 'udge me, my heart1176714 swells more and more. Methinks I can cry1176.1715 very well.
 8.7
  There dwelt a man in Babylon,
 8.81180716 To shallow rivers and to falls,
 8.91177717 Melodious birds sing madrigals.
  [Re-enter Simple.] 
 1179718 Simple 
 Sir, here is Master Page and Master Shallow719 coming hither as fast as they can. 
 8.101185720 Evans 
 Then it is very necessary I put up my sword.721 Pray give me my cown too, mark you.  
  [He sheathes his sword, puts on his gown, and opens his bible.] 
 8.10.11185.1722 Enter Page, Shallow, and Slender. 
 8.111191723 Page 
 God save you, Sir Hugh. 
 8.121191.1724 Shallow 
 God save you, Master Parson. 
 8.131192725 Evans 
 God pless you all from his mercy's sake now. 
 8.141193726 Page 
 What, the word and the sword, doth that1193.1727 agree well? 
 8.151197728 Evans 
 There is reasons and causes in all things,1197.1729 I warrant you now. 
 8.161198730 Page 
 Well, Sir Hugh, we are come to crave731 your help and furtherance in a matter. 
 8.171200732 Evans 
 What is, I pray you? 
 8.181201733 Page 
 I'faith, 'tis this, Sir Hugh. There is an ancient734 friend of ours, a man of very good sort, so at odds1203735 with his patience, that I am sure you would heartily736 grieve to see him. Now, Sir Hugh, you are a scholar1203.1737 well read and very persuasive; we would entreat1203.2738 you to see if you could entreat him to patience. 
 8.191208739 Evans 
 I pray you, who is it? Let us know that. 
 8.201209740 Page 
 I am sure you know him: 'tis Doctor Caius. 
 8.211211741 Evans 
 I had as lief you should tell me of a mess of porridge.1215742 He is an arrant lousy beggarly knave,743 and he is a coward beside. 
 8.221217744 Page 
  [To Shallow]  Why, I'll lay my life 'tis the man745 that he should fight withal. 
 8.22.11217.1746 Enter Doctor and the Host [with Bardolph]. The [Doctor and the Parson]1217.2747 offer to fight. 
 8.231220748 Shallow 
 Keep them asunder, take away their weapons! 
 8.241224749 Host 
 Disarm! Let them question. 
 8.25750 Shallow 
 Let them keep their limbs whole, and hack1225751 our English. 
  [Page and the Host take away the weapons and give them to Bardolph.] 
 8.261226752 Caius 
  [Aside to Evans]  Hark, van 'ord in your ear. You be un dog-a1229753 and de jack-coward priest! 
 8.271231754 Evans 
  [Aside to Caius]  Hark you, let us not be laughingstocks755 to other men's humors. [Aloud to Caius]  By Jeshu, I will knock your1233756 urinals about your knave's coxcombs for missing1233.1757 your meetings and appointments. 
 8.281235758 Caius 
  [Aloud to the others]  Oh, Jesu, mine host of de garter, John Rogoby,1236759 have I not met him at de place he make appoint,1236.1760 have I not? 
 8.291238761 Evans 
 So Kad 'udge me, this is the pointment place,1239762 witness by my host of the Garter. 
 8.301241763 Host 
 Peace, I say, Gaul and Gwalia, French and Welsh,1242764 soul-curer and body-curer! 
 8.311243765 Caius 
 This is very brave, excellent! 
 8.321244766 Host 
 Peace, I say, hear mine host of the Garter!1245767 Am I wise? Am I politic? Am I Machiavel?1246768 Shall I lose my doctor? No, he gives me the motions1247769 and the potions. Shall I lose my parson, my Sir Hugh?1248770 No, he gives me the proverbs and the no-verbs:1249771 [To Caius] Give me thy hand terrestrial.1249.1772 So. [To Evans]  Give me thy hand celestial.773 So. Boys of art, I have deceived you both:1250774 I have directed you to wrong places.1251775 Your hearts are mighty, your skins are whole.1252776  -- Bardolph, lay their swords to pawn. Follow me, lads1253777 of peace, follow me. Ha, ra, la! Follow!  
 8.32.1 Exit Host [with Bardolph]. 
 8.331255778 Shallow 
 Afore God, a mad host! Come, let us go. 
  [Exeunt Shallow, Slender, and Page.] 
 8.341257779 Caius 
 Ay, begar, have you mock-a moi thus?1258780 I will be even vit you, my jack-Host. 
 8.351258.1781 Evans 
 Give me your hand, Doctor Caius.1261782 We be all friends,1261.1783 but for mine host's foolish knavery, let me alone. 
 8.361260784 Caius 
 Ay, dat be vell, begar! I be friends.  
 8.36.1 [They shake hands and] exeunt [with Rugby.] 
 9.0.11268 [Scene 9] 
 9.0.2785 Enter Master Ford. 
 9.11268.1786 Ford 
 The time draws on, he should come to my house. 
 9.21268.2787 Well, wife, you had best work closely, 
 9.31268.3788 Or I am like to go beyond your cunning. 
 9.41268.4789 I now will seek my guests that comes to dinner, 
 9.51268.5790 And in good time see where they all are come. 
 9.5.11268.6791 Enter Shallow, Page, Host, Slender, Doctor,1268.7792 and Sir Hugh. 
 9.61268.8793 By my faith, a knot well met: you're welcome all. 
 9.71268.9794 Page 
 I thank you, good Master Ford. 
 9.81268.10795 Ford 
 Welcome, good Master Page,1268.11796 I would your daughter were here. 
 9.91268.12797 Page 
 I thank you, sir, she is very well at home. 
 9.101322798 Slender 
 Father Page, I hope I have your consent799 for Mistress Anne? 
 9.111323800 Page 
 You have, son Slender, but my wife here1324801 is altogether for Master Doctor. 
 9.121325802 Caius 
 Begar, I tank her heartily. 
 9.131327803 Host 
 But what say you to young Master Fenton?804 He capers, he dances, he writes verses, he smells1329805 all April and May. He will carry it, he will carry't,1330806 'tis in his buttons, he will carry't! 
 9.141331807 Page 
 My Host, not with my consent. The gentleman is808 wild; he knows too much. If he take her,1335809 let him take her simply, for my goods goes1336810 with my liking, and my liking goes not that way. 
 9.151338811 Ford 
 Well, I pray go home with me to dinner.1339812 Besides your cheer, I'll show you wonders, I'll1340813 Show you a monster. You shall go with me,1341814 Master Page, and so shall you, Sir Hugh, and you, Master815  Doctor. 
 9.161341.1816 Evans 
 If there be one in the company, I shall make two. 
 9.171341.2817 Caius 
 And dere be ven, two, I sall make de turd. 
 9.181341.3818 Evans 
 In your teeth, for shame! 
 9.191341.4819 Shallow 
 Well, well, God be with you. [Aside to Slender]  We shall have the fairer1341.5820 wooing at Master Page's. 
 9.19.11341.6821 Exeunt Shallow and Slender. 
 9.201345822 Host 
 I'll to my honest knight, Sir John Falstaff,1346823 and drink canary with him.  
 9.20.1 Exit Host. 
 9.211347824 Ford 
 9.22 I may chance to make him drink in pipe wine.1349825 First, come, gentlemen.  
 9.22.1 Exeunt omnes. 
 10.0.11351 [Scene 10] 
 10.0.2826 Enter Mistress Ford, with two of her men, and1352827 a great buck-busket . 
 10.11362828 Mistress Ford 
 Sirrah, if your master ask you whither1362.1829 you carry this basket, say "to the launderers."1362.2830 I hope you know how to bestow it? 
 10.21362.3831 First Servant 
 I warrant you, mistress.  
 10.2.1 Exeunt servants. 
 10.31362.4832Mistress Ford 
 Go, get you in. -- Well Sir John, 1362.5833 I believe I shall serve you such a trick,1362.6834 You shall have little mind to come again. 
 10.3.11362.7835 Enter Sir John [Falstaff]. 
 10.41387836 Falstaff 
 Have I caught my heavenly jewel?837 Why, now let me die. I haue lived long enough.1388838 This is the happy hour I have desired to see!1392839 Now shall I sin in my wish?1393840 I would thy husband were dead. 
 10.51393.1841 Mistress Ford 
 Why, how then, Sir John? 
 10.61394842 Falstaff 
 By the Lord, I'd make thee my lady. 
 10.71395843 Mistress Ford 
 Alas, Sir John, I should be a very simple1396844 lady. 
 10.81398845 Falstaff 
 Go to, I see how thy eye doth emulate846 the diamond,1399847 and how the arched bent of thy brow848 would become the ship-tire, the tire velvet,1400849 or any Venetian attire, I see it. 
 10.91402850 Mistress Ford 
 A plain kercher, Sir John, would fit me better. 
 10.101404851 Falstaff 
 By the Lord, thou art a traitor to say so!1411852  What made me love thee? Let that persuade thee1412853 there's somewhat extraordinary in thee. Go to,1412.1854 I love thee.1413855 Mistress Ford, I cannot cog, I cannot prate, like one1414856 of these fellows that smells like Bucklersbury1415857 in simple time, but I love thee,1416858 and none but thee. 
 10.111418859 Mistress Ford 
 Sir John, I am afraid you love Mistress Page. 
 10.121419860 Falstaff 
 I? Thou mightest as well say861 I love to walk by the Counter gate,1420862 which is as hateful to me863 as the reek of a lime-kiln. 
 10.131434865 Mistress Page 
  [Voice off-stage]  Mistress Ford, Mistress Ford, where are you? 
 10.141434.1866 Mistress Ford 
  [To Falstaff]
 10.14.1 Oh,lord, step aside, good Sir John.1434.2867 
  Falstaff stands behind the arras. 
  [Enter Mistress Page.] 
 10.151436868 How now, Mistress Page, what's the matter? 
 10.161443869 Mistress Page 
 Why, your husband, woman, is coming,1451870 with half Windsor at his heels,1444871 to look for a gentleman that he says1445872 is hid in his house: his wife's sweetheart. 
 10.171448873 Mistress Ford 
  Speak louder! --  But I hope 'tis not true,1448.1874 Mistress Page. 
 10.181448.2875 Mistress Page 
 'Tis too true, woman. Therefore, if you1446876 have any here, away with him, or you're undone for1446.1877ever. 
 10.191457878 Mistress Ford 
 Alas, Mistress Page, what shall I do?879 Here is a gentleman, my friend -- how shall I do? 
 10.201461880 Mistress Page 
 God body, woman, do not stand "what1461.1881 shall I do?" and "what shall I do?" Better any shift, rather1461.2882 than you shamed. Look here, here's a buck-1464883basket. If he be a man of any reasonable size, he'll in1465884 here. 
 10.211469885 Mistress Ford 
 Alas, I fear he is too big. 
 10.221470886 Falstaff 
 > [Leaping out from behind the arras]  Let me see, let me see, I'll in, I'll in.1471887  Follow your friend's counsel. 
 10.22.1
 1472888 Mistress Page 
  Aside [to Falstaff] Fie, Sir John, is this your love? Go to.  
 10.231474889 Falstaff 
  [Aside to Mistress Page]  I love thee, and none but thee!1474.1890 Help me to convey me hence,1475891 I'll never come here more. 
 10.23.11475.1892 Sir John goes into the basket; they put clothes ouer him. 
 1475.2893 [Enter] the two men [who] carry it away. [Enter] Ford, [who] meets it, and [enter] all1475.3894 the rest: Page, Doctor, Priest, Slender, Shallow. 
 10.241482895 Ford 
  [Ushering in his neighbours] Come pray along, you shall see all.1484896 [To the menservants] How now, who goes here? Whither goes this?897 [To Mistress Ford]  Whither goes it? [To menservants]  Set it down. 
 10.251486898 Mistress Ford 
  [To Master Ford]  Now let it go! You had best meddle with1487899 buck-washing. 
  [Exeunt menservants with the buck-basket.] 
 10.261488900 Ford 
 Buck, good buck! -- [To the neighbors] Pray come along,1492901 Master Page, take my keys: help to search. Good1493902 Sir Hugh, pray come along, help a little, a little --1494903 I'll show you all. 
 10.271501904 Evans 
 By Jeshu, these are jealousies and distempers. 
 10.27.11501.1905 Exeunt all [the gentlemen, searching]. 
 10.281501.2906 Mistress Page 
 He is in a pitiful taking. 
 10.291509907 Mistress Ford 
 I wonder what he thought1510908 when my husband bade them set down the basket. 
 10.301514909 Mistress Page 
 Hang him, dishonest slave, we cannot use
 10.311515910 him bad enough. This is excellent for your
 10.321515.1911 husband's jealousy. 
 10.331515.2912 Mistress Ford 
 Alas, poor soul, it grieves me at the heart,
 10.341515.3913 But this will be a means to make him cease
 10.351515.4914 His jealous fits, if Falstaff's love increase. 
 10.361515.5915 Mistress Page 
 Nay, we will send to Falstaff once again.
 10.371515.6916 'Tis great pity we should leave him.1515.7917 What,
 10.38 Wives may be merry, and yet honest too! 
 10.391515.8918 Mistress Ford 
 Shall we be condemned because we laugh?
 10.401515.9919 'Tis old, but true: still sows eat all the draff. 
 10.411515.10920 Mistress Page 
 Here comes your husband. Stand aside. [They retire to one side.] 
 1515.11921 Enter all [the searchers.] 
 10.421515.12922 Ford 
  [To the other men.] I can find nobody within. It may be he lied. 
 10.431530923 Mistress Page 
  [Aside to Mistress Ford.] Did you hear that? 
 924 Mistress Ford 
  [Aside to Mistress Page.] Ay, ay, peace. 
 10.441530.2925 Ford 
 Well, I'll not let it go so, yet I'll try further. 
 10.451537926 Evans 
 By Jeshu, if there be anybody in the kitchen1538927 or the cupboards, or the press, or the buttery,928 I am an arrant Jew. Now God pless me! 
  [The women come forward.] 
 1538.1929 Mistress Ford
  [To Master Ford.] You serve me well, do you not? 
 10.461541930 Page 
 Fie, Master Ford, you are to blame. 
 10.471541.1931 Mistress Page 
 I'faith, 'tis not well Master Ford to suspect1541.2932 her thus without cause. 
 10.481541.3933 Caius 
 No, by my trot, it be no vell. 
 10.491541.4934 Ford 
 Well, I pray, bear with me. -- Master Page, pardon me.1544935 I suffer for it, I suffer for it! 
 10.501545936 Evans 
 You suffer for a bad conscience, look you now. 
 10.511550937 Ford 
 Well, I pray, no more. Another time I'll tell1550.1938 you all.1549939 The mean time, go dine with me.  [To Mistress Ford]  Pardon me, wife,940 I am sorry. -- Master Page, pray go in to dinner.941 [To the rest]  Another time I'll tell you all. 
 10.521553942 Page 
 Well, let it be so, and tomorrow I invite you all1554943 to my house to dinner, and in the morning we'll1555944 a-birding. I have an excellent hawk for the bush. 
 10.531551945 Ford 
 Let it be so. Come, Master Page, come, wife:1552946 I pray you come in all. You're welcome. Pray come in. 
 10.541552.1947 Evans 
  [Aside]  By so Kad 'udge me, Master Fords is1552.2948 not in his right wits. 
 10.54.11565949 Exeunt omnes. 
 11.0.11679 [Scene 11] 
 11.0.2950 Enter Sir John Falstaff[, drenched, and Bardolph]. 
 11.11705951 Falstaff 
 Bardolph, brew me a pottle o' sack presently. 
 11.21706952 Bardolph 
 With eggs, sir? 
 11.31707953 Falstaff 
 Simply of itself. I'll none of these pullets' sperm954 in my drink. Go, make haste. 
  [Exit Bardolph.] 
 1683955 Have I lived to be carried in a basket1684956 and thrown into the Thames like a barrow of957 butcher's offal? Well, an I be served such another1685958 trick, I'll give them leave to take out my brains1686959 and butter them, and give them to a dog for a1687960 New Year's gift. 'Sblood, the rogues slided me in with as1688961 little remorse as if they had gone to drown a blind1689962 bitch's puppies in the litter: and they might know1690963 by my size I have a kind of alacrity in sinking. An1691964 the bottom had been as deep as hell I should down.1692965 I had been drowned, but that the shore was shelvy966 and somewhat shallow: a death that I abhor!1693967 For you know the water swells a man, and what a1694968 thing should I have been when I had been swelled?1694.1969 By the Lord, a mountain of mummy! -- 
  [Re-enter Bardolph, with a pot of sack.] 
 Now, is the1694.2970 sack brewed? 
 11.41697971 Bardolph 
 Ay, sir. [Bardolph serves him.]  There's a woman below would speak972 with you. 
 11.51698973 Falstaff 
 11.6 Bid her come up. 
  [Exit Bardolph.] 
 Let me put some sack974 among this cold water, for my belly is as cold as if I1699975 had swallowed snowballs for pills.1699.1976 
 11.6.1 Enter Mistress Quickly. 
 1708977 Now, what's the news with you? 
 11.71709978 Quickly 
 I come from Mistress Ford, forsooth. 
 11.81710979 Falstaff 
 Mistress Ford? I have had Ford enough!980 I have been thrown into the Ford, my belly is full1711981 of Ford -- she hath tickled me. 
 11.91716982 Quickly 
 Oh, lord, sir, she is the sorrowfullest woman1713983 that her servants mistook that ever lived. And, sir,1718984 she would desire you of all loves you will meet her985 once again, tomorrow, sir, between ten and1720986 eleven, and she hopes to make amends for all. 
 11.101725987 Falstaff 
 Ten and eleven, sayest thou? 
 11.111725.1988 Quickly 
 Ay, forsooth. 
 11.121727989 Falstaff 
 Well, tell her I'll meet her. Let her but think1727.1990 of man's frailty. Let her judge what man is,1727.2991 and then think of me. And so farewell. 
 11.131727.3992 Quickly 
 You'll not fail, sir? 
 11.141727.5994 Falstaff 
 I will not fail. Commend me to her. 
 11.14.11727.4993 Exit Mistress Quickly. 
 1729995 I wonder I hear not of Master Brook. I like his1730996 money well. By the mass, here he is! 
  Enter [Ford disguised as]Brook. 
 11.151732998 Ford 
 God save you, sir. 
 11.161733999 Falstaff 
 Welcome, good Master Brook. You come to17341000 know how matters goes. 
 11.1717351001 Ford 
 Thats my coming indeed, Sir John. 
 11.1817361002 Falstaff 
 Master Brook, I will not lie to you, sir.17371003 I was there at my appointed time. 
 11.1917381004 Ford 
 And how sped you, sir? 
 11.2017391005 Falstaff 
 Very ill-favoredly, sir. 
 11.2117401006 Ford 
 Why, sir, did she change her determination? 
 11.2217411007 Falstaff 
 No, Master Brook, but you shall hear. After we17431008 had kissed and embraced, and, as it were, even amid17441009 the prologue of our encounter, who should come1010 but the jealous knave, her husband, and a rabble of17461011 his companions at his heels, thither provoked and1012 instigated by his distemper. And what to do, think17471013 you? To search for his wife's love. Even so, plainly1014 so. 
 11.2317481015 Ford 
 While ye were there? 
 11.2417491016 Falstaff 
 Whilst I was there. 
 11.2517501017 Ford 
 And did he search and could not find you? 
 11.2617511018 Falstaff 
 You shall hear, sir. As God would have it,17521019 a little before comes me one Page's wife,1020 gives her intelligence of her husband's1021  approach and, by her invention and Ford's wife's17531022 distraction, conveyed me into a buck-basket. 
 11.2717551023 Ford 
 A buck-basket! 
 11.2817561024 Falstaff 
 By the Lord, a buck-basket, rammed me in1025 with foul shirts, stockings, greasy napkins,17581026  that, Master Brook, there was a compound of the most17591027 villanous smell that ever offended nostril.17621028 I'll tell you, Master Brook, by the Lord, for your sake17741029 I suffered three egregious deaths: first, to be17771030  crammed like a good bilbo in the circomference17781031 of a pack, hilt to point, heel to head; and then to17801032 be stewed in my own grease like a Dutch dish --17811033  a man of my kidney! by the Lord, it was marvel I17831034 escaped suffocation -- and, in the heat of all this,17861035 to be thrown into Thames like a horseshoe. Hot,17881036  Master Brook! Think of that hissing heat, Master17891037 Brook! 
 11.2917921038 Ford 
 Well, sir, then my suit is void?1039 You'll undertake it no more? 
 11.3017941040 Falstaff 
 Master Brook, I'll be thrown into Etna17951041 as I have been in the Thames,1042 ere I thus leave her. I have received17971043 another appointment of meeting:17981044 between ten and eleven is the hour. 
 11.3118001045 Ford 
 Why, sir, 'tis almost ten already. 
 11.3218011046 Falstaff 
 11.33 Is it? Why, then will I address myself1047  for my appointment. Master Brook, come to me soon18021048 at night, and you shall know how I speed.18031049 And the end shall be, you shall enjoy her love.18041050 You shall cuckold Ford. Come to me soon1804.11051 at night. 
 11.33.1 Exit Falstaff. 
 11.3418071052 Ford 
 Is this a dream? Is it a vision?18081053 Master Ford, Master Ford, awake, Master Ford!18091054 There is a hole made in your best coat, Master Ford,1809.11055 and a man shall not only endure this wrong,1809.21056 but shall stand under the taunt of names.1809.31057 Lucifer is a good name; Barbason, good; good1809.41058 devils' names. But cuckold, wittol, catso?1809.51059 The devil himself hath not such a name!1809.61060 [He points to each side of his forehead.]  And they may hang hats here, and napkins here1809.71061 upon my horns. Well, I'll home, I'll ferret him,18151062 and unless the devil himself should aid him,18161063 I'll search unpossible places! I'll about it,1816.11064 lest I repent too late. 
 11.34.118201065 Exit Ford. 
 12.0.11567 [Scene 12] 
 12.0.21066 Enter Master Fenton, [Anne] Page, and Mistress1067 Quickly. 
 12.11567.11068 Fenton 
 Tell me, sweet Nan, how dost thou yet resolve?
 12.21567.21069 Shall foolish Slender have thee to his wife?
 12.31567.31070 Or one as wise as he, the learne}d doctor?
 12.41567.41071 Shall such as they enjoy thy maiden heart?
 12.51567.51072 Thou know'st that I have always loved thee dear,
 12.61567.61073 And thou hast oft-times swore the like to me. 
 12.71567.71074 Anne 
 Good Master Fenton, you may assure yourself,
 12.81567.81075 My heart is settled upon none but you.
 12.91567.91076 'Tis as my father and my mother please.
 12.101567.101077 Get their consent. You quickly shall have mine. 
 12.111567.111078 Fenton 
 Thy father thinks I love thee for his wealth.
 12.121567.121079 Though I must needs confess, at first that drew me;
 12.131582.21080 But since, thy virtues wiped that trash away.
 12.141582.31081 I love thee, Nan, and so dear is it set
 12.151582.41082 That whilst I live I ne'er shall thee forget.
 12.1616331083 [Aside] God's pity, here comes her father. 
 12.16.11633.11084 Enter Master Page, his wife, Master Shallow, and Slender. 
 12.1716351085 Page 
 Master Fenton, I pray what make you here?
 12.1816401086 You know my answer, sir, she's not for you.
 12.1916441087 Knowing my vow, to blame to use me thus! 
 12.2016411088 Fenton 
 But hear me speak, sir. 
 12.211641.11089 Page 
 Pray, sir, get you gone.
 -- Come hither, daughter.16431090 -- Son Slender, let me speak with you. 
  They whisper [aside]. 
 12.2216451091 Quickly 
  [Aside to Fenton]  Speak to Mistress Page. 
 12.2316461092 Fenton 
  [To Mistress Page]  Pray, Mistress Page, let me have your consent. 
 12.241646.11093 Mistress Page 
 I'faith, Master Fenton, 'tis as my husband please.1646.21094 For my part, I'll neither hinder you, nor further you. 
 12.2516641095 Quickly 
  [Aside to Fenton] How say you? This was my doings!1664.11096 I bid you speak to Mistress Page. 
 12.261664.21097 Fenton 
 12.27 Here, nurse, there's a brace of angels to drink.1664.31098 Work what thou canst for me. Farewell.  
 12.281664.51099 Quickly 
 By my troth, so I will, good heart. 
 12.28.1 Exit Fenton.  
 12.291664.61100 Page 
 Come, wife, you and I will in. We'll leave Master Slender1664.71101 and my daughter to talk together. Master Shallow,1664.81102 you may stay, sir, if you please. 
 12.3016191104 Shallow 
 Marry, I thank you for that. 
 12.30.11664.91103 Exeunt Page and his wife [with Mistress Quickly]. 
 16201105 [Aside to Slender]  To her, cousin, to her! 
 12.311620.11106 Slender  
  [Aside to Shallow]  I'faith, I know not what to say. 
 16231107 Anne 
 Now, Master Slender, what's your will? 
 12.3216241108 Slender 
 Godso, there's a jest indeed. Why, Mistress Anne,16251109 I never made will yet. I thank God I am wise enough for that. 
 12.3316041110 Shallow 
 Fie, coz, fie, thou art not right!16051111 Oh, thou hadst a father-- 
 12.3416061112 Slender 
 I had a father, Mistress Anne -- good uncle,16071113 tell the jest how my father stole the goose out of16081114 the henloft. All this is naught, hark you, Mistress1608.11115 Anne. 
 12.3516151116 Shallow 
  [To Anne]  He will make you jointure of three16121117 hundred pound a year. He shall make you a1118 gentlewoman. 
 12.3616101119 Slender 
 Ay, by God, that I will, come cut and long1120 tail, as good as any is in Gloucestershire under the1610.11121 degree of a squire. 
 12.3716001122 Anne 
  [Aside]  Oh, God, how many gross faults are hid
 16011123 And covered in three hundred pound a year? 
 1601.11124 Well Master Slender, within a day or two I'll tell you1601.21125 more. 
 12.381601.31126 Slender 
 I thank you, good Mistress Anne. -- Uncle, I1601.41127 shall have her. 
  [Enter Mistress Quickly.] 
 12.391601.51128 Quickly 
 Master Shallow, Master Page would pray you to1601.61129 come, you, and you, Master Slender, and you, Mistress Anne. 
 12.401601.71130 Slender 
  [Aside to Mistress Quickly] Well, nurse, if you'll speak for me,1601.81131 I'll give you more than I'll talk of. 
 12.4116731133 Quickly 
  [To Slender] Indeed I will, I'll speak what I can for you -- 
 12.40.11601.91132 Exeunt all but Quickly. 
 16751134 But specially for Master Fenton.1675.11135 But specially of all for my master.1136  And indeed I will do what I can for them, all three.
  Exit. 
 13.0.11899 [Scene 13] 
 13.0.21138 Enter Mistress Ford and her two Man[servants]. 
 13.11899.11139 Mistress Ford 
 Do you hear? When your master comes,1899.21140 take up this basket as you did before, and if your master1899.31141 bid you set it down, obey him. 
 13.21899.41142 1 Servant 
 I will, forsooth. [Exeunt both Manservants.] 
 13.2.11899.51143 Enter Sir John. 
 13.31899.61144 Mistress Ford 
 Sir John, welcome. 
 13.419051145 Falstaff 
 What, are you sure of your husband now? 
 13.519071146 Mistress Ford 
 13.6 He is gone a-birding, Sir John, and I hope1907.11147 will not come home yet.1907.21148 
 13.6.1 Enter Mistress Page. 
 13.71907.31149 God's body, here is Mistress Page!19091150 Step behind the arras, good Sir John. 
 13.7.11909.11151 He steps behind the arras. 
 13.819171152 Mistress Page 
 Mistress Ford, why, woman, your husband1153 is in his old vein again. He's coming to search19241154 for your sweetheart, but I am glad he is not here. 
 13.919351155 Mistress Ford 
 Oh, God, Mistress Page, the knight is here!1935.11156 What shall I do? 
 13.1019361157 Mistress Page 
 Why, then you're undone, woman, unless19371158 you make some means to shift him away. 
 13.1119391159 Mistress Ford 
 Alas, I know no means, unless19401160 we put him in the basket again. 
  [Falstaff emerges from behind the arras.] 
 13.1219411161 Falstaff 
 No, I'll come no more in the basket!19471162 I'll creep up into the chimney. 
 13.1319481163 Mistress Ford 
 There they use to discharge their fowling pieces. 
 13.1419561164 Falstaff 
 Why, then I'll go out of doors. 
 13.151956.11165 Mistress Page 
 Then you're undone. You're but a dead man. 
 13.1619631166 Falstaff 
 For God's sake, devise any extremity,19641167 rather than a mischief. 
 13.171964.11168 Mistress Page 
 Alas, I know not what means to make.19601169 If there were any woman's apparel would fit him,19621170 he might put on a gown and a muffler,1171 and so escape. 
 13.181962.11172 Mistress Ford 
 That's well remembered! My maid's aunt,19651173 Gillian of Brentford, hath a gown above. 
 13.1919671174 Mistress Page 
 And she is altogether as fat as he. 
 13.201175 Mistress Ford 
 Ay, that will serve him, of my word! 
 13.2119721176 Mistress Page 
 Come, go with me, Sir John. I'll help to1177 dress you. 
 13.221972.11178 Falstaff 
 Come, for God sake, anything! 
 1972.21179 Exeunt Mistress Page and Sir John [Falstaff]. 
 13.22.21972.31180 Enter  Master Ford, Page, Priest, [and] Shallow.  
 13.231972.51182 Ford 
 Come along, I pray, you shall know the cause --
  [Enter] the two Manservants1972.41181 [who pick up and] carry the basket, and Ford meets it. 
 13.241972.61183 How now, whither go you? Hah? Whither go you?
 13.2520041184 [To 1 Servant]  Set down the basket, you slave,
 13.2620061185 [To 2 Servant]  You panderly rogue, set it down. 
 13.272006.11186 Mistress Ford 
  [To Ford]  What is the reason that you use me thus? 
 13.282006.21187 Ford 
  [To the Servants]  Come hither, set down the basket!--
 13.2920161188 [To all]  Mistress Ford, the modest woman,
 13.301189 Mistress Ford, the virtuous woman,
 13.3120171190 She that hath the jealous fool to her husband!
 13.3220181191 [To Mistress Ford] I mistrust you without cause, do I not? 
 13.3320191192 Mistress Ford 
 Ay, God's my record, do you, an if1193 you mistrust me in any ill sort! 
 13.3520211194 Ford 
 Well said, brazen-face, hold it out! --
 13.362021.11195 [He kicks the basket.]  You youth in a basket, come out here!
 13.3720281196 [To all]  Pull out the clothes! Search! 
  [Ford tosses out the clothes.] 
 13.3820261197 Evans 
 Jeshu pless me, will you pull up your wife's clothes? 
 13.392026.11198 Page 
 Fie, Master Ford, you are not to go abroad if you2026.21199 be in these fits. 
 13.412026.31200 Evans 
 By so Kad 'udge me, 'tis very necessary2026.41201 he were put in Pethlem. 
 13.4320301202 Ford 
 Master Page, as I am an honest man, Master Page,1203 there was one conveyed out of my house here ye20311204sterday, out of this basket. Why may he not be here20321205 now? 
 13.4720501206 Mistress Ford 
  [Calling up]  Come, Mistress Page, bring the old woman down. 
 13.4820531207 Ford 
 Old woman? What old woman? 
 13.4920541208 Mistress Ford 
 Why, my maiden's aunt, Gillian of Brainford. 
  Ford. 
 13.5020551209 A witch? Have I not forewarned her my house?20571210 Alas, we are simple, we, we know not what20581211 is brought to pass under the color of fortune-1212telling. -- [Calling up] Come down, you witch, come down! 
 13.53.12058.11213 Enter Falstaff disguised like an old woman, and2058.21214 Mistress Page with him. Ford beats him, and he2058.31215 runs away. 
 13.5420671216 Away, you witch, get you gone! 
 13.5520751217 Evans 
 By Jeshu, I verily think she is a witch indeed.20761218 I espied under her muffler a great beard.  
 13.562076.11219 Ford 
  [To his guests]  Pray, come help me to search, pray now! 
 13.5720811220 Page 
  [To the other guests]  Come, we'll go for his mind's sake. 
 13.57.12081.11221 Exeunt all [except the wives]. 
 13.5820831222 Mistress Ford 
 By my troth, he beat him most extremely. 
 13.592083.11223 Mistress Page 
 I am glad of it. What, shall we proceed any20901224 further? 
 13.6020951225 Mistress Ford 
 No, faith. Now, if you will, let us tell our2095.11226 husbands of it. For mine I am sure hath almost2095.21227 fretted himself to death. 
 13.612095.31228 Mistress Page 
 13.62 Content. Come, we'll go tell them all,2095.41229 and as they agree, so will we proceed.  
 13.62.1 Exeunt both. 
 14.0.12108 [Scene 14] 
 14.0.21230 Enter Host and Bardolph. 
 14.121091231 Bardolph 
 Sir, here be three gentlemen come from21101232 the duke, the stranger, sir, would have your horse. 
 14.221131233 Host 
 The duke, what duke? Let me speak with21141234 the gentlemen. Do they speak English? 
 14.321151235 Bardolph 
 I'll call them to you, sir. 
 14.421171236 Host 
 14.5 No, Bardolph, let them alone. I'll sauce them.21161237 They have had my house a week at command;21181238 I have turned away my other guests.1239 They shall have my horses, Bardolph?21191240 They must come off! I'll sauce them!  
 14.5.1 Exeunt. 
 15.0.12121 [Scene 15] 
 15.0.21241 Enter Ford, Page, their wives, Shallow, and21221242  Sir Hugh. 
 15.12122.11243 Ford 
 Well, wife, here take my hand. [He stretches out his hand; she accepts it.]  Upon my2122.21244 soul I love thee dearer than I do my life, and joy I2122.31245 have so true and constant wife. My jealousy shall2122.41246 never more offend thee. 
 15.22122.51247 Mistress Ford 
 Sir, I am glad, and that which I have done
 15.32122.61248 Was nothing else but mirth and modesty. 
 15.42122.71249 Page 
 Ay, Mistress Ford, Falstaff hath all the grief,
 15.52122.81250 And in this knavery my wife was the chief. 
 15.62122.91251 Mistress Page 
 No knavery, husband, it was honest mirth. 
 15.72122.101252 Evans 
 Indeed, it was good pastimes and merriments. 
 15.82122.111253 Mistress Ford 
 But, sweetheart, shall we leave old
 15.92122.121254 Falstaff so? 
 15.102122.131255 Mistress Page 
 Oh, by no means! Send to him again. 
 15.112122.141256 Page 
 I do not think he'll come, being so much2122.151257 deceived. 
 15.122122.161258 Ford 
 Let me alone, I'll to him once again like2122.171259 Brook, and know his mind, whether he'll come2122.181260 or not. 
 15.132122.191261 Page 
 There must be some plot laid, or he'll not come. 
 15.1421491262 Mistress Page 
 Let us alone for that. Hear my device.
 15.1521501263 Oft have you heard, since Horn the hunter died,
 2150.11264 That women, to affright their litle children,
 15.162150.21265 Say that he walks in shape of a great stag.
 15.172150.31266 Now for that Falstaff hath been so deceived
 15.182150.41267 As that he dares not venture to the house,
 15.192150.51268 We'll send him word to meet us in the field,
 15.202150.61269 Disguised like Horn, with huge horns on his head.
 15.212150.71270 The hour shall be just between twelve and one,
 15.222150.81271 And at that time we will meet him both:
 15.232150.91272 Then would I have you present there at hand
 15.2421721273  With litle boys, disguised and dressed like fairies,
 15.252172.11274 For to affright fat Falstaff in the woods,
 15.262172.21275 And then, to make a period to the jest,
 15.272172.31276 Tell Falstaff all. I think this will do best. 
 15.2821701277 Page 
 'Tis excellent, and my daughter Anne, 
 2170.11278 Shall like a litle fairy be disguised. 
 15.292170.21279 Mistress Page 
  [Aside] And in that masque I'll make the doctor2170.31280 steal my daughter Anne, and, ere my husband knows2170.41281 it, to carry her to church, and marry her. 
 15.302170.51282 Mistress Ford 
 But who will buy the silks to tire the boys? 
 15.3121991283 Page 
 That will I do, [Aside]  and in a robe of white
 15.3222001284 I'll clothe my daughter, and advertise Slender
 15.3322011285 To know her by that sign, and steal her thence,
 15.342201.11286 And, unknown to my wife, shall marry her. 
 15.3522071287 Evans 
 So Kad 'udge me, the devices is excellent.21921288 I will also be there, and be like a jackanapes,2192.11289 and pinch him most cruelly for his lecheries. 
 15.382192.21290 Mistress Page 
 Why, then we are revenged sufficiently.
 15.392192.31291 First, he was carried and thrown in the Thames;
 15.402192.41292 Next beaten well, [To Ford]  I am sure you'll witness that. 
 15.412192.51293 Mistress Ford 
 I'll lay my life this makes him nothing fat. 
 15.422192.61294 Page 
 Well, let's about this stratagem. I long
 15.432192.71295 To see deceit deceived, and wrong have wrong. 
 15.442192.81296 Ford 
 Well, send to Falstaff, and if he come thither,
 15.452192.91297 'Twill make us smile and laugh one month toge
 15.462192.101298 ther. 
 15.46.1 Exeunt omnes. 
 16.0.12218 [Scene 16] 
 16.0.21299 Enter Host and Simple. 
 16.122201300 Host 
 What would thou have, boor, what, thickskin?22211301 Speak, breathe, discuss -- short, quick, brief, snap! 
 16.222231302 Simple 
 Sir, I am sent from my master to Sir John Falstaff. 
 16.322251303 Host 
 Sir John, there's his castle, his standing bed,22261304 his trundle bed. His chamber is painted about with22271305 the story of the prodigal, fresh and new. Go, knock.22281306 He'll speak like an Anthropophaginian to thee.22291307 Knock, I say.! 
 16.422301308 Simple 
 Sir, I should speak with an old woman that1309 went up into his chamber. 
 16.522331310 Host 
 An old woman? The knight may be robbed.22341311 I'll call. -- Bully knight, bully Sir John! Speak from thy22351312 lungs military. It is thine host, thy Ephesian, calls. 
 16.622371313 Falstaff 
  [Voice from above]  Now, mine host. 
 16.722381314 Host 
 Here is a Bohemian Tartar, bully, tarries the1315 coming down of the fat woman. Let her descend,22401316 bully, let her descend! My chambers are honorable --1317 pah, privacy, fie! 
 16.822421318 Falstaff 
  [From above]  Indeed, mine host, there was a fat woman with me,22431319 but she is gone. 
 16.8.12243.11320 Enter Sir John [Falstaff]. 
 16.922441321 Simple 
 Pray, sir, was it not the wise woman of22451322 Brentford? 
 16.1022461323 Falstaff 
 Marry, was it, mussel shell? What would you? 
 16.1122481324 Simple 
 Marry, sir, my Master Slender sent me to her,22491325 to know whether one Nym, that hath his chain,1326 cozened him of it or no. 
 16.1222521327 Falstaff 
 I talked with the woman about it. 
 16.1322531328 Simple 
 And I pray, sir, what says she? 
 16.1422541329 Falstaff 
 Marry, she says the very same man that22551330 beguiled Master Slender of his chain1331 cozened him of it. 
 16.1522701332 Simple 
 May I be bold to tell my master so, sir? 
 16.1622711333 Falstaff 
 Ay, tyke, who more bold? 
 16.1722721334 Simple 
 I thank you, sir. I shall make my master a22731335 glad man at these tidings. God be with you, sir. [Exit.] 
 16.1822741336 Host 
 Thou art clerkly, Sir John, thou art clerkly.22751337 Was there a wise woman with thee? 
 16.1922761338 Falstaff 
 Marry, was there, mine host, one that taught22771339 me more wit than I learned this seven year,22781340 and I paid nothing for it,1341 but was paid for my learning. 
 16.19.12278.11342 Enter Bardolph [covered in mud]. 
 16.2022801343 Bardolph 
 Oh, lord, sir, cozenage, plain cozenage! 
 16.2122811344 Host 
 Why, man, where be my horses? Where be2281.11345 the Germans? 
 16.2222831346 Bardolph 
 Rid away with your horses.22841347 After I came beyond Maidenhead,1348 they flung me in a slough of mire, and away they ran. 
 16.22.12284.11349 Enter Doctor. 
 16.2322991350 Caius 
 Where be my Host de Garteer? 
 16.2423001351 Host 
 Oh, here, sir, in perplexity. 
 16.2523021352 Caius 
 16.26 I cannot tell vad be dad,1353 but, begar, I will tell you van ting:23031354 Dere be a Garmaine duke come to de court,2303.11355 has cozened all de host of Bren'ford2203.21356 and Reading! Begar, I tell you for good will!2303.31357 Ha, ha, mine host, am I even met you? 
 16.26.1 Exit. 
 16.26.22303.41358 Enter Sir Hugh. 
 16.2722901359 Evans 
 16.28 Where is mine Host of the Garter?22921360 Now, my Host, I would desire you, look you now,2292.11361 to have a care of your entertainments,22931362 for there is three sorts of cozen-garmombles22941363 is cozen all the host of Maidenhead and Readings.22951364  Now you are an honest man, and a scurvy2295.11365 beggarly lousy knave beside,2295.21366 and can point wrong places.2295.31367 I tell you for good will, and grate why, mine host. 
 16.28.1 Exit. 
 16.2923061368 Host 
 16.30 I am cozened -- hue and cry, Bardolph! [Exit Bardolph.]1369 Sweet knight, assist me, I am cozened!
 16.30.1 Exit. 
 16.3123091370 Falstaff 
 Would all the worl' were cozened for me,23101371 for I am cozened and beaten too.23161372 Well, I never prospered since I forswore23171373 myself at primero. An my wind1374 were but long enough to say my prayers,23181375 I'd repent. 
 16.31.12318.11376 Enter Mistress Quickly. 
 Now, from whence come you? 
 16.3223201377 Quickly 
 From the two parties, forsooth. 
 16.3323211378 Falstaff 
 The devil take the one party,1379 and his dam the other,23221380 and they'll be both bestowed.1381 I have endured more for their sakes23231382 than man is able to endure. 
 16.3423251383 Quickly 
 Oh, lord, sir, they are the sorrowful'st creatures23261384 that ever lived, specially Mistress Ford.1385 Her husband hath beaten her that she is all23271386 black and blue, poor soul. 
 16.3523291387 Falstaff 
 What, tellest me of black and blue?1388  I have been beaten all the colors in the rainbow,23311389 and in my escape like to ha' been apprehended1390 for a witch of Brentford, and set in the stocks. 
 16.3623361391 Quickly 
 Well sir, she is a sorrowful woman,23371392 and I hope when you hear my errand,1393 you'll be persuaded to the contrary. 
 16.3723421394 Falstaff 
 16.38 Come, go with me into my chamber. I'll1395 hear thee. 
 16.38.1 Exeunt. 
 17.0.12344 [Scene 17] 
 17.0.21396 Enter Host and Fenton. 
 17.123451397 Host 
 Speak not to me, sir. My mind is heavy.
 17.223461398 I have had a great loss. 
 17.323471399 Fenton 
 Yet hear me, and as I am a gentleman,
 17.423481400 I'll give you a hundred pound toward your loss. 
 17.523501401 Host 
 Well, sir, I'll hear you, and at least keep your23511402 counsel. 
 17.723521403 Fenton 
 Then thus, my host. 'Tis not unknown to you
 17.823531404 The fervent love I bear to young Anne Page
 17.923541405 And mutually her love again to me,
 17.1023671406 But her father, still against her choice,
 17.1123681407 Doth seek to marry her to foolish Slender,
 17.1223781408 And in a robe of green this night disguised,
 17.1323601409 Wherein fat Falstaff had a mighty scare,
 17.1423801410 Must Slender take her and carry her to Eton.
 17.152380.21412 Now her mother, still against that match,
 17.1623821413 And firm for Doctor Caius, in a robe of red
 17.1723871414 By her device, the Doctor must steal her thence,
 17.1823881415 And she hath given consent to go with him. 
 17.1923891416 Host 
 Now which means she to deceive, father or
 17.201417 mother? 
 17.2123911418 Fenton 
 Both, my good host, to go along with me.
 17.2223921419  Now here it rests, that you would procure a priest
 17.2323931420 And tarry ready at the appointment place
 17.2423951421 To give our hearts united matrimony. 
 17.252395.11422 Host 
 But how will you come to steal her from among them? 
 17.262395.21423 Fenton 
 That hath sweet Nan and I agreed upon,
 17.272395.31424 And by a robe of white, the which she wears,
 17.282395.41425 With ribbons pendant, flaring 'bout her head,
 17.292395.51426 I shall be sure to know her, and convey her thence,
 17.302395.61427 And bring her where the priest abides our coming,
 17.312395.71428 And by thy furtherance there be married. 
 17.3223961429 Host 
 Well, husband your device. I'll to the vicar.
 17.3323971430 Bring you the maid; you shall not lack a priest. 
 17.3423981431 Fenton 
 So shall I evermore be bound unto thee.
 17.3523991432 Besides I'll always be thy faithful friend. 
 17.35.11433 Exeunt. 
 18.0.12401 [Scene 18] 
 18.0.21434 Enter Sir John [Falstaff] with a buck's head upon him. 
 18.124021435 Falstaff 
 This is the third time. Well, I'll venture.24031436 They say there is good luck in odd numbers.24841437 Jove transformed himself into a bull,24931438 and I am here a stag, and I think the fattest24941439 in all Windsor Forest. Well, I stand here2494.11440  for Horn the hunter, waiting my doe's coming. 
 18.6.12494.21441 Enter Mistress Page and Mistress Ford. 
 18.724971442 Mistress Page 
 Sir John, where are you? 
 18.824991443 Falstaff 
  [To Mistress Ford]  Art thou come, my doe? -- [To Mistress Page]  What, and thou too?2499.11444 Welcome, ladies. 
 18.102499.21445 Mistress Ford 
 Ay, ay, Sir John, I see you will not fail;2499.31446 therefore you deserve far better than our loves!2499.41447 But it grieves me for your late crosses. 
 18.132499.51448 Falstaff 
 This makes amends for all.25051449 Come, divide me between you, each a haunch.25071450 For my horns, I'll bequeath them to your husbands!25081451 Do I speak like Horn the hunter, hah? 
 18.17.12511.11453 There is a noise of horns.  
 18.1725111452 Mistress Page 
 God forgive me, what noise is this? 
  The two women run away. 
 18.17.22511.21454 Enter Sir Hugh like a satyr [with a lighted taper] and Boys dressed like fairies, [as is Anne Page] also with tapers [unlit];2511.31455 Mistress Quickly like the Queen of Fairies. They 2511.41456sing a song [circling] about [Sir Hugh], and afterward [Quickly and Sir Hugh] speak. 
 18.1825191457 Quickly 
 You fairies that do haunt these shady groves,
 18.192519.11458 Look round about the wood if you can espy
 18.202519.21459 A mortal that doth haunt our sacred round.
 18.212519.31460 If such a one you can espy, give him his due,
 18.222519.41461 And leave not till you pinch him black and blue.
 18.232519.51462 Give them their charge, Puck, ere they part away. 
 18.242519.61463 Evans 
  [To 1 Fairy]  Come hither, Pean. Go to the country
 18.252519.71464 houses,
 18.262519.81465 And when you find a slut that lies asleep,
 18.272519.91466 And all her dishes foul and room unswept,
 18.282519.101467 With your long nails pinch her till she cry
 18.292519.111468 And swear to mend her sluttish housewifery. 
 18.302519.121469 1 Fairy 
 I warrant you I will perform your will. 
 18.3125311470 Evans 
 Where is Pead? 
  [2 Fairy steps forward.]  
 				Go you and see where brokers sleep,
 18.322531.11471 And fox-eyed sergeants with their mace.
 18.332531.21472 Go lay the proctors in the street,
 18.342531.31473 And pinch the lousy sergeants' face:
 18.352531.41474 Spare none of these when they are abed,
 18.362531.51475 But such whose nose looks plue and red. 
 18.372531.61476 Quickly 
 Away, begone! His mind fulfil,
 18.382531.71477 And look that none of you stand still.
 18.392531.81478 Some do that thing, some do this,
 18.402531.91479 All do something, none amiss. 
 18.4125621480 Evans 
 I smell a man of middle earth. 
 18.4225631481 Falstaff 
  [Aside] God bless me from that Welsh fairy! 
 18.432563.11482 Quickly 
 Look, everyone, about this round,
 18.442563.21483 And if that any here be found,
 18.452563.31484 For his presumption in this place,
 18.462563.41485 Spare neither leg, arm, head, nor face. 
 18.472563.51486 Evans 
 See I have spied one by good luck,
 18.482563.61487 His body man, his head a buck. 
 18.492563.71488 Falstaff 
  [Aside] God send me good fortune now, and I care not. 
 18.502563.81489 Quickly 
 Go straight and do as I command,
 18.512563.91490 And take a taper in your hand,
 18.5225671491 And set it to his fingers' ends,
 18.532567.11492 And if you see it him offends,
 18.5425681493 And that he starteth at the flame,
 18.552568.11494 Then is he mortal. Know his name.
 18.562568.21495 If with an F it doth begin,
 18.5725701496 Why then be sure he is full of sin.
 2570.11497 About it then, and know the truth
 18.582570.21498 Of this same metamorphized youth. 
 18.592570.31499 Evans 
 Give me the tapers: 
  [He lights their candles.]  
 					I will try
 18.602570.41500 An if that he love venery. 
 18.60.12570.51501 They put the tapers to his fingers, and he starts. 
 18.6125741502 Evans 
 It is right indeed -- he is full of lecheries
 18.622574.11503 and iniquity. 
 18.632574.21504 Quickly 
 A little distant from him stand,
 18.642574.31505 And everyone take hand in hand,
 18.652574.41506 And compass him within a ring.
 18.662574.51507 First pinch him well, and after sing. 
 2574.61508Here they pinch him and sing about him, and the Doc2574.71509tor comes one way and steals away a boy in red; and
 18.672574.81510 Slender, another way, he takes a boy in green; and2574.91511 Fenton steals Mistress Anne, being in white. And2574.101512 a noise of hunting is made within; and all the2574.111513 fairies run away. Falstaff pulls off his buck's head,2574.121514 and rises up. And enter Master Page, Master Ford, and2574.131515 their wives, Master Shallow, [and] Sir Hugh. 
 18.682574.141516 Falstaff 
 Horn the hunter, quoth you: am I a ghost?
 18.692574.151517 'Sblood the fairies hath made a ghost of me!
 18.702574.161518 What, hunting at this time at night?
 18.712574.171519 I'll lay my life the mad Prince of Wales2574.181520 is stealing his father's deer. How now, who have2574.191521 we here? What, is all Windsor stirring? -- [To Shallow]  Are you there? 
 18.732574.201522 Shallow 
 God save you, Sir John Falstaff. 
 18.742574.211523 Evans 
 God pless you, Sir John, God pless you. 
 18.752574.221524 Page 
 Why, how now, Sir John! What, a pair of horns2574.231525 in your hand? 
 18.762574.241526 Ford 
 Those horns he meant to place upon my head,
 18.7725951527 And Master Brook and he should be the men! 
 18.782595.11528 Why, how now, Sir John? Why are you thus amazed?
 18.792595.21529 We know the fairies' man that pinched you so,
 18.802595.31530 Your throwing in the Thames, your beating well,
 18.812595.41531 And what's to come, Sir John, that can we tell! 
 18.822595.51532 Mistress Page 
 Sir John, 'tis thus. Your dishonest means
 18.832595.61533 To call our credits into question,
 18.842595.71534 Did make us undertake to our best
 18.852595.81535 To turn your lewd lust to a merry jest. 
 18.862595.91536 Falstaff 
 Jest? 'Tis well. Have I lived to these years2595.101537 to be gulled now, now to be ridden?2595.111538 Why, then, these were not fairies? 
 18.892595.121539 Mistress Page 
 No, Sir John, but boys. 
 18.9026061540 Falstaff 
 By the lord, I was twice or thrice in the mind26071541 they were not, and yet the grossness26081542 Of the foppery persuaded me they were.2608.11543 Well, an the fine wits of the court hear this,2608.21544 they'll so whip me with their keen jests,2608.31545 that they'll melt me out like tallow,2608.41546 drop by drop, out of my grease. Boys! 
 18.9726131547 Evans 
 Ay, trust me, boys, Sir John, and I was26141548 also a fairy that did help to pinch you. 
 18.992614.11549 Falstaff 
 Ay, 'tis well: I am your May-pole.2614.21550 You have the start of me.26221551 Am I ridden too with a Welsh goat?26231552 With a piece of toasted cheese? 
 18.10326251553 Evans 
 Butter is better than cheese, Sir John.26261554 You are all butter, butter. 
 18.1052626.11555 Ford 
 There is a further matter yet, Sir John:26511556 there's twenty pound you borrowed of Master Brook, Sir John,2651.11557 and it must be paid to Master Ford, Sir John. 
 18.1082651.21558 Mistress Ford 
 Nay, husband, let that go to make amends.
 18.1092651.31559 Forgive that sum, and so we'll all be friends. 
 18.1102651.41560 Ford 
  [Offering to shake hands]  Well, here is my hand. All's forgiven at last. 
 18.1112651.51561 Falstaff 
 It hath cost me well.2651.61562 I have been well pinched and washed. 
 18.112.12651.71563 Enter the Doctor. 
 18.1132651.81564 Mistress Page 
 Now Master Doctor, son I hope you are. 
 18.1142651.91565 Caius 
 Son, begar, you be de vile voman.2651.101566 Begar, I tink to marry Metress Anne, and, begar,2651.111567 'tis a whoreson garçon jack boy. 
 18.1172651.121568 Mistress Page 
 How, a boy? 
 18.1182651.131569 Caius 
 Ay, begar, a boy. 
 18.1192651.141570 Page 
 Nay, be not angry, wife, I'll tell thee true,2651.151571 it was my plot to deceive thee so,2651.161572 and by this time your daughter's married2651.171573 to Master Slender, and see where he comes.
 18.122.12651.181574 Enter Slender. 
 2651.191575 Now, son Slender,2651.201576 where's your bride? 
 18.1232651.211577 Slender 
 Bride, by God's lid, I think there's never a2651.221578 man in the worl' hath that cross fortune that I2651.231579 have. By God I could cry for very anger. 
 18.1242651.241580 Page 
 Why, what's the matter, son Slender? 
 18.1252651.251581 Slender 
 Son? Nay, by God, I am none of your son! 
 18.1262651.261582 Page 
 No, why so? 
 18.1272651.271583 Slender 
 Why, so God save me, 'tis a boy that I have married. 
 18.1282651.281584 Page 
 How, a boy? Why, did you mistake the word? 
 18.1292651.291585 Slender 
 No neither, for I came to her in red as you2651.301586 bade me, and I cried "mum" and he cried "budget" so2651.311587 well as ever you heard, and I have married him. 
 18.1302651.321588 Evans 
 Jeshu, Master Slender, cannot you see but marry boys? 
 18.1312651.331589 Page 
 Oh, I am vexed at heart! What shall I do? 
  [Enter Fenton and Anne.] 
 18.1322651.351591 Mistress Page 
 Here comes the man that hath deceived us all.
 18.1332651.361592 
 How now, daughter, where have you been? 
 18.1342651.371593 Anne 
 								At church, 
 Forsooth. 
 18.1352651.381594 Page 
 			At church! What have you done there? 
 18.1362651.391595 Fenton 
 Married to me -- nay, sir, never storm.
 18.1372651.401596 'Tis done, sir, now, and cannot be undone. 
 18.1382651.411597 Ford 
 I'faith, Master Page, never chafe yourself.
 18.1392651.421598 She hath made her choice whereas her heart was fixed;
 18.1402651.431599 Then 'tis in vain for you to storm or fret. 
 18.14127171600 Falstaff 
 I am glad yet that your arrow hath glanced 
 18.1422717.11601 Mistress Ford 
 Come, Mistress Page, I'll be bold with you.
 18.1432717.21602 'Tis pity to part love that is so true. 
 18.1442717.31603 Mistress Page 
 Although that I have missed in my intent,
 18.1452717.41604 Yet I am glad my husband's match was crossed.
  [She joins Anne's hand to Fenton's.] 
 18.1462717.51605 Here, Master Fenton, take her, and God give thee joy. 
 18.1472717.61606 Evans 
 Come, Master Page, you must needs agree. 
 18.1482717.71607 Ford 
 I'faith, sir, come. You see your wife's well pleased 
 18.1492717.81608 Page 
 I cannot tell, and yet my heart's well eased,
 18.1502717.91609 And yet it doth me good the Doctor missed.
 18.1512717.101610 Come hither, Fenton, and come hither, daughter.
 18.1522717.111611 Go to, you might have stayed for my good will,
 18.1532717.121612 But since your choice is made of one you love,
 18.1542717.131613 Here take her, Fenton, and both happy prove. 
 18.1552717.141614 Evans 
 I will also dance and eat plums at your weddings. 
 18.1562717.151615 Ford 
 All parties pleased, now let us in to feast,
 18.1572717.161616 And laugh at Slender and the Doctor's jest.
 18.1582717.171617 [Indicating  Fenton]  He hath got the maiden, [Indicating Caius and Slender]  each of you a boy
 18.1592717.181618 To wait upon you. So God give you joy.
 18.16027281619 And, Sir John Falstaff, now shall you keep your word,
 18.1611620 For Brook this night shall lie with Mistress Ford. [Exeunt omnes.] 
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The Merry Wives of Windsor (Modern, Quarto)
