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  • Title: The Merry Wives of Windsor (Modern, Quarto)
  • Editor: Helen Ostovich
  • Markup editor: Janelle Jenstad
  • Coordinating editor: Janelle Jenstad

  • Copyright Helen Ostovich. This text may be freely used for educational, non-profit purposes; for all other uses contact the Editor.
    Editor: Helen Ostovich
    Not Peer Reviewed

    The Merry Wives of Windsor (Modern, Quarto)

    [Scene 10]
    Enter Mistress Ford, with two of her men, and a great buck-busket .
    Mistress Ford
    Sirrah, if your master ask you whither1362.1 you carry this basket, say "to the launderers." I hope you know how to bestow it?
    First Servant
    I warrant you, mistress.
    Exeunt servants.
    Mistress Ford
    Go, get you in. -- Well Sir John, 1362.5 I believe I shall serve you such a trick, You shall have little mind to come again.
    Enter Sir John [Falstaff].
    Falstaff
    Have I caught my heavenly jewel? Why, now let me die. I haue lived long enough. This is the happy hour I have desired to see! Now shall I sin in my wish? I would thy husband were dead.
    1393.1 Mistress Ford
    Why, how then, Sir John?
    Falstaff
    By the Lord, I'd make thee my lady.
    1395 Mistress Ford
    Alas, Sir John, I should be a very simple lady.
    Falstaff
    Go to, I see how thy eye doth emulate the diamond, and how the arched bent of thy brow would become the ship-tire, the tire velvet,1400 or any Venetian attire, I see it.
    Mistress Ford
    A plain kercher, Sir John, would fit me better.
    Falstaff
    By the Lord, thou art a traitor to say so! What made me love thee? Let that persuade thee there's somewhat extraordinary in thee. Go to,1412.1 I love thee. Mistress Ford, I cannot cog, I cannot prate, like one of these fellows that smells like Bucklersbury1415 in simple time, but I love thee, and none but thee.
    Mistress Ford
    Sir John, I am afraid you love Mistress Page.
    Falstaff
    I? Thou mightest as well say I love to walk by the Counter gate,1420 which is as hateful to me as the reek of a lime-kiln.
    Mistress Page
    [Voice off-stage] Mistress Ford, Mistress Ford, where are you?
    1434.1 Mistress Ford
    [To Falstaff]
    Oh,lord, step aside, good Sir John.
    Falstaff stands behind the arras.
    [Enter Mistress Page.]
    How now, Mistress Page, what's the matter?
    Mistress Page
    Why, your husband, woman, is coming, with half Windsor at his heels, to look for a gentleman that he says1445 is hid in his house: his wife's sweetheart.
    Mistress Ford
    Speak louder! -- But I hope 'tis not true,1448.1 Mistress Page.
    Mistress Page
    'Tis too true, woman. Therefore, if you have any here, away with him, or you're undone for1446.1ever.
    Mistress Ford
    Alas, Mistress Page, what shall I do? Here is a gentleman, my friend -- how shall I do?
    Mistress Page
    God body, woman, do not stand "what1461.1 shall I do?" and "what shall I do?" Better any shift, rather than you shamed. Look here, here's a buck-basket. If he be a man of any reasonable size, he'll in1465 here.
    Mistress Ford
    Alas, I fear he is too big.
    1470 Falstaff
    > [Leaping out from behind the arras] Let me see, let me see, I'll in, I'll in. Follow your friend's counsel.
    Mistress Page
    Aside [to Falstaff] Fie, Sir John, is this your love? Go to.
    Falstaff
    [Aside to Mistress Page] I love thee, and none but thee!1474.1 Help me to convey me hence,1475 I'll never come here more.
    1475.1 Sir John goes into the basket; they put clothes ouer him.
    [Enter] the two men [who] carry it away. [Enter] Ford, [who] meets it, and [enter] all the rest: Page, Doctor, Priest, Slender, Shallow.
    [Ushering in his neighbours] Come pray along, you shall see all. [To the menservants] How now, who goes here? Whither goes this? [To Mistress Ford] Whither goes it? [To menservants] Set it down.
    Mistress Ford
    [To Master Ford] Now let it go! You had best meddle with buck-washing.
    [Exeunt menservants with the buck-basket.]
    Buck, good buck! -- [To the neighbors] Pray come along, Master Page, take my keys: help to search. Good Sir Hugh, pray come along, help a little, a little -- I'll show you all.
    Evans
    By Jeshu, these are jealousies and distempers.
    1501.1 Exeunt all [the gentlemen, searching].
    Mistress Page
    He is in a pitiful taking.
    Mistress Ford
    I wonder what he thought1510 when my husband bade them set down the basket.
    Mistress Page
    Hang him, dishonest slave, we cannot use
    1515 him bad enough. This is excellent for your
    1515.1 husband's jealousy.
    Mistress Ford
    Alas, poor soul, it grieves me at the heart,
    But this will be a means to make him cease
    His jealous fits, if Falstaff's love increase.
    1515.5 Mistress Page
    Nay, we will send to Falstaff once again.
    'Tis great pity we should leave him. What,
    Wives may be merry, and yet honest too!
    Mistress Ford
    Shall we be condemned because we laugh?
    'Tis old, but true: still sows eat all the draff.
    1515.10 Mistress Page
    Here comes your husband. Stand aside. [They retire to one side.]
    Enter all [the searchers.]
    [To the other men.] I can find nobody within. It may be he lied.
    1530 Mistress Page
    [Aside to Mistress Ford.] Did you hear that?
    Mistress Ford
    [Aside to Mistress Page.] Ay, ay, peace.
    Well, I'll not let it go so, yet I'll try further.
    Evans
    By Jeshu, if there be anybody in the kitchen or the cupboards, or the press, or the buttery, I am an arrant Jew. Now God pless me!
    [The women come forward.]
    1538.1 Mistress Ford
    [To Master Ford.] You serve me well, do you not?
    Fie, Master Ford, you are to blame.
    1541.1 Mistress Page
    I'faith, 'tis not well Master Ford to suspect her thus without cause.
    No, by my trot, it be no vell.
    Well, I pray, bear with me. -- Master Page, pardon me. I suffer for it, I suffer for it!
    1545 Evans
    You suffer for a bad conscience, look you now.
    Well, I pray, no more. Another time I'll tell1550.1 you all. The mean time, go dine with me. [To Mistress Ford] Pardon me, wife, I am sorry. -- Master Page, pray go in to dinner. [To the rest] Another time I'll tell you all.
    Well, let it be so, and tomorrow I invite you all to my house to dinner, and in the morning we'll1555 a-birding. I have an excellent hawk for the bush.
    Let it be so. Come, Master Page, come, wife: I pray you come in all. You're welcome. Pray come in.
    [Aside] By so Kad 'udge me, Master Fords is not in his right wits.
    1565 Exeunt omnes.