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  • Title: The Merry Wives of Windsor (Modern, Folio)
  • Editor: Helen Ostovich
  • Markup editor: Maxwell Terpstra
  • Coordinating editor: Janelle Jenstad

    • Copyright Helen Ostovich. This text may be freely used for educational, non-profit purposes; for all other uses contact the Editor.
    Author: William Shakespeare
    Editor: Helen Ostovich
    Not Peer Reviewed

    The Merry Wives of Windsor (Modern, Folio)

    [4.4]
    Enter Page, Ford, Mistress Page, Mistress Ford, and Evans.
    Evans
    'Tis one of the best discretions of a 'oman as e2125ver I did look upon.
    Page
    And did he send you both these letters at an instant?
    Mistress Page
    Within a quarter of an hour.
    Ford
    Pardon me, wife. Henceforth do what thou wilt.
    2130I rather will suspect the sun with gold
    Than thee with wantonness. Now doth thy honor stand,
    In him that was of late an heretic,
    As firm as faith.
    Page
    'Tis well, 'tis well, no more.
    2135Be not as extreme in submission as in offence,
    But let our plot go forward. Let our wives
    Yet once again, to make us public sport.
    Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow,
    Where we may take him, and disgrace him for it.
    2140Ford
    There is no better way then that they spoke of.
    Page
    How? To send him word they'll meet him in the Park at midnight? Fie, fie, he'll never come.
    Evans
    You say he has been thrown in the rivers. and has been grievously peaten, as an old 'oman. Methinks 2145there should be terrors in him, that he should not come. Methinks his flesh is punished; he shall have no desires.
    Page
    So think I too.
    Mistress Ford
    Devise but how you'll use him when he comes,
    2150And let us two devise to bring him thither.
    Mistress Page
    There is an old tale goes that Herne the
    Hunter, sometime a keeper here in Windsor Forest,
    Doth all the winter time at still midnight
    Walk round about an oak with great ragg'd horns,
    2155And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle,
    And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a chain
    In a most hideous and dreadful manner.
    You have heard of such a spirit, and well you know
    The superstitious idle-headed eld
    2160Receiv'd, and did deliver to our age
    This tale of Herne the Hunter for a truth.
    Page
    Why yet there want not many that do fear
    In deep of night to walk by this Herne's oak.
    But what of this?
    2165Mistress Ford
    Marry, this is our device:
    That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us.
    Page
    Well, let it not be doubted but he'll come,
    And in this shape. When you have brought him thither,
    What shall be done with him? What is your plot?
    2170Mistress Page
    That likewise have we thought upon, and thus:
    Nan Page,my daughter, and my little son,
    And three or four more of their growth, we'll dress
    Like urchins, ouphes, and fairies, green and white,
    With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads,
    2175And rattles in their hands. Upon a sudden,
    As Falstaff, she, and I are newly met,
    Let them from forth a sawpit rush at once
    With some diffused song. Upon their sight
    We two, in great amazedness, will fly.
    2180Then let them all encircle him about,
    And fairy-like to pinch the unclean knight;
    And ask him why that hour of fairy revel,
    In their so sacred paths, he dares to tread
    In shape profane.
    2185Ford
    And till he tell the truth,
    Let the supposèd fairies pinch him sound,
    And burn him with their tapers.
    Mistress Page
    The truth being known,
    We'll all present ourselves, dishorn the spirit,
    2190And mock him home to Windsor.
    Ford
    The children must
    Be practised well to this, or they'll ne'er do't.
    Evans
    I will teach the children their behaviors; and I will be like a jackanapes also, to burn the knight 2195with my taber.
    Ford
    That will be excellent, I'll go buy them vizards.
    Mistress Page
    My Nan shall be the queen of all the
    fairies,
    Finely attirèd in a robe of white.
    2200Page
    That silk will I go buy, [Aside] and in that time
    Shall Master Slender steal my Nan away,
    And marry her at Eton. [To Mistress Page] Go, send to Falstaff straight.
    Ford
    Nay, I'll to him again in name of Broom.
    He'll tell me all his purpose -- sure, he'll come.
    2205Mistress Page
    Fear not you that. [To Page, Ford, and Evans] Go get us properties
    And tricking for our fairies.
    Evans
    Let us about it. It is admirable pleasures, and fery honest knaveries.
    [Exit Evans, Ford, and Page.]
    Mistress Page
    Go, Mistress Ford,
    2210Send quickly to Sir John to know his mind.
    [Exit Mistress Ford.]
    I'll to the doctor. He hath my good will,
    And none but he to marry with Nan Page.
    That Slender, though well-landed, is an idiot.
    And he, my husband best of all affects.
    2215The doctor is well-moneyed, and his friends
    Potent at court. He, none but he, shall have her,
    Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave her.
    [Exit Mistress Page.]
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