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About this text

  • Title: The Merry Wives of Windsor (Modern, Folio)
  • Editor: Helen Ostovich
  • Markup editor: Maxwell Terpstra
  • Coordinating editor: Janelle Jenstad

  • Copyright Helen Ostovich. This text may be freely used for educational, non-profit purposes; for all other uses contact the Editor.
    Author: William Shakespeare
    Editor: Helen Ostovich
    Not Peer Reviewed

    The Merry Wives of Windsor (Modern, Folio)

    10652.3
    Enter Caius [and] Rugby [behind, with rapiers].
    Caius
    Jack Rugby.
    Rugby
    Sir.
    Caius
    Vat is the clock, Jack?
    1070Rugby
    'Tis pastthe hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised to meet.
    Caius
    By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come. He has pray his pible well, dat he is no come. By gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come.
    1075Rugby
    He is wise, sir. He knew your worship would kill him if he came.
    Caius
    By gar, de herring is no dead, so as I vill kill him. [Drawing his rapier] Take your rapier, Jack. I vill tell you how I vill kill him.
    1080Rugby
    Alas, sir, I cannot fence.
    Caius
    Villainy, [Thrusting at him] take your rapier!
    Rugby
    Forbear! Here's company.
    Enter Page, Shallow, Slender, [and] Host.
    Host
    'Bless thee, bully-doctor.
    Shallow
    'Save you, Master Doctor Caius.
    1085Page
    Now, good master doctor.
    Slender
    'Give you good morrow, sir.
    Caius
    Vat be all you one, two, tree, four, come for?
    Host
    To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse, to see thee here, to see thee there, to see thee 1090pass thy puncto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy distance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he dead, my Francisco? Ha, bully? What says my Esculapius? My Galen? My heart of elder? Ha? Is he dead, bully-stale? Is he dead?
    Caius
    By gar, he is de coward jack-priest of de vorld! 1095He is not show his face.
    Host
    Thou art a Castalian king-urinal! Hector of Greece, my boy!
    Caius
    I pray you bear witness that me have stay six or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no 1100come.
    Shallow
    He is the wiser man, master doctor. He is a curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies. If you should fight, you go against the hair of your professions. Is it not true, Master Page?
    1105Page
    Master Shallow; you have yourself been a great fighter, though now a man of peace.
    Shallow
    Bodikins, Master Page, though I now be old and of the peace; if I see a sword out, my finger itches to make one. Though we are justices and doctors and 1110churchmen, Master Page, we have some salt of our youth in us. We are the sons of women, Master Page.
    Page
    'Tis true, Master Shallow.
    Shallow
    It wil be found so, Master Page. -- Master Doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am sworn of the peace. 1115You have showed yourself a wise physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself a wise and patient churchman. You must go with me, master doctor.
    Host
    Pardon, guest-justice. – [To Caius] Ah, Monsieur Mockwater.
    1120Caius
    Mockvater? Vat is dat?
    Host
    Mockwater, in our English tongue, is valor, bully.
    Caius
    By gar, then I have as much mockvater as de Englishman. Scurvy jack-dog priest! By gar, me vill 1125cut his ears.
    Host
    He will clapperclaw thee tightly, bully.
    Caius
    Clapper-de-claw? Vat is dat?
    Host
    That is, he will make thee amends.
    Caius
    By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw 1130me, for by gar me vill have it.
    Host
    And I will provoke him to't, or let him wag.
    Caius
    Me tank you for dat.
    Host
    And moreover, bully -- but first, master guest, and Master Page, and eke Cavaleiro Slender, [Aside to them] go you through 1135the town to Frogmore.
    Page
    [Aside to Host] Sir Hugh is there, is he?
    Host
    [Aside to Page and Shallow] He is there. See what humor he is in, and I will bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do well?
    Shallow
    [Aside to Host] We will do it.
    1140Page, Shallow, and Slender
    Adieu, good master doctor.
    [Exeunt Page, Shallow, and Slender.]
    Caius
    By gar, me vill kill de priest, for he speak for a jackanape to Anne Page.
    Host
    Let him die: Sheathe thy impatience. Throw cold water on thy choler. Go about the fields with me 1145through Frogmore. I will bring thee where Mistress Anne Page is, at a farmhouse a-feasting, and thou shalt woo her. Cried game! Said I well?
    Caius
    By gar, me dank you vor dat. By gar, I love you, and I shall procure-a you de good guest: de earl, 1150de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my patients.
    Host
    For the which I will be thy adversary toward Anne Page. Said I well?
    Caius
    By gar, 'tis good. Vell said!
    Host
    Let us wag then.
    1155Caius
    Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.
    Exeunt.