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  • Title: The Merry Wives of Windsor (Quarto 1, 1602)

  • Copyright Internet Shakespeare Editions. This text may be freely used for educational, non-proift purposes; for all other uses contact the Coordinating Editor.
    Author: William Shakespeare
    Not Peer Reviewed

    The Merry Wives of Windsor (Quarto 1, 1602)

    300Enter sir Iohn Falstaffes Host of the Garter,
    Nym, Bardolfe, Pistoll, and the boy.
    Fal. Mine Host of the Garter.
    B Host.
    A pleasant Comedie, of
    Host. What ses my bully Rooke?
    Speake schollerly and wisely.
    Fal. Mine Host, I must turne away some of my
    Host. Discard bully, Hercules cassire.
    Let them wag, trot, trot.
    Fal. I sit at ten pound a weeke.
    Host. Thou art an Emperour Caesar, Phesser and
    Kesar bully.
    310Ile entertaine Bardolfe. He shall tap, he shall draw.
    Said I well, bully Hector?
    Fal. Do good mine Host.
    Host. I haue spoke. Let him follow. Bardolfe
    Let me see thee froth, and lyme. I am at
    A word. Follow, follow.
    314.1Exit Host.
    315Fal. Do Bardolfe, a Tapster is a good trade,
    An old cloake will make a new Ierkin,
    A withered seruingman, a fresh Tapster:
    Follow him Bardolfe.
    Bar. I will sir, Ile warrant you Ile make a good
    shift to liue.
    318.1Exit Bardolfe.
    Pis. O bace gongarian wight, wilt thou the spic-
    ket willd?
    319.1Nym. His minde is not heroick. And theres the
    humor of it.
    Fal. Well my Laddes, I am almost out at the
    Pis. Why then let cybes insue.
    328.1Nym. I thanke thee for that humor.
    the merry wives of windsor.
    Fal. Well I am glad I am so rid of this tinder
    His stealth was too open, his filching was like
    An vnskilfull singer, he kept not time.
    Nym. The good humor is to steale at a minutes
    324.1Pis. Tis so indeed Nym, thou hast hit it right.
    Fal. Well, afore God, I must cheat, I must cony-
    Which of you knowes Foord of this Towne?
    Pis. I ken the wight, he is of substance good.
    Fal. Well my honest Lads, Ile tell you what
    I am about.
    Pis. Two yards and more.
    335Fal. No gibes now Pistoll: indeed I am two yards
    In the wast, but now I am about no wast:
    Briefly, I am about thrift you rogues you,
    I do intend to make loue to Foords wife,
    I espie entertainment in her. She carues, she
    Discourses. She giues the lyre of inuitation,
    And euery part to be constured rightly is, I am
    Syr Iohn Falstaffes.
    Pis. He hath studied her well, out of honestie
    Into English.
    345Fal. Now the report goes, she hath all the rule
    Of her husbands purse. She hath legians of angels.
    Pis. As many diuels attend her.
    And to her boy say I.
    Fal. Heree's a Letter to her. Heeres another to
    350 misteris Page.
    B2 Who
    A pleasant Comedie, of
    Who euen now gaue me good eies too, examined
    my exteriors with such a greedy intentiõ, with the
    beames of her beautie, that it seemed as she would
    a scorged me vp like a burning glasse. Here is ano-
    ther Letter to her, shee beares the purse too. They
    shall be Excheckers to me, and Ile be cheaters to
    them both. They shall be my East and West Indies
    and Ile trade to them both. Heere beare thou this
    Letter to mistresse Foord. And thou this to mistresse
    Page. Weele thriue Lads, we will thriue.
    Pist. Shall I sir Panderowes of Troy become?
    And by my sword were steele.
    Then Lucifer take all.
    Nym. Here take your humor Letter againe,
    For my part, I will keepe the hauior
    Of reputation. And theres the humor of it.
    370Fal. Here firrha beare me these Letters titely,
    Saile like my pinnice to the golden shores:
    Hence slaues, avant. Vanish like hailstones, goe.
    Falstaffe will learne the humor of this age,
    375French thrift you rogue, my selfe and scirted Page.
    375.1Exit Falstaffe,
    and the Boy.
    Pis. And art thou gone? Teaster Ile haue in pouch
    When thou shalt want, bace Phrygian Turke.
    380Nym. I haue operations in my head, which are
    humors of reuenge.
    Pis. Wilt thou reuenge?
    Nym. By Welkin and her Fairies.
    Pis. By wit, or sword?
    385Nym. With both the humors I will disclose this
    loue to Page. Ile poses him with Iallowes,
    the merry wives of windsor.
    386.1And theres the humor of it.
    Pis. And I to Foord will likewise tell
    How Falstaffe varlot vilde,
    Would haue her loue, his doue would proue,
    390And eke his bed defile.
    390.1 Nym. Let vs about it then.
    395Pis. Ile second thee : sir Corporall Nym troope (on.
    Exit omnes.