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  • Title: The Puritan (Folio 3, 1664)

  • Copyright Digital Renaissance Editions. This text may be freely used for educational, non-profit purposes; for all other uses contact the Editor.
    Authors: Thomas Middleton, William Shakespeare
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    The Puritan (Folio 3, 1664)

    The Puritan Widow.
    Sir Godf. Thou say'st true, Nicholas, but he has put
    off that now, that lyes by him.
    1620Cap. Faith Knight, in few words, I presume so much
    upon the power of my Art, that I could warrant your
    Chain agen.
    Sir Godf. O dainty Captain!
    Cap. Marry it will cost me much sweat, I were better
    1625go to sixteen Hot-houses.
    Sir Godf. I, good man, I warrant thee.
    Cap. Beside great vexation of Kidney and Liver.
    Nic. O, 'twill tickle you hereabouts, Cousin, because
    you have not been us'd to't.
    1630Sir Godf. No? have you not been us'd to't, Captain?
    Cap Plague of all fools still;--indeed Knight I have
    not us'd it a good while, and therefore 'twill strain me so
    much the more, you know.
    Sir Godf. Oh it will, it will.
    1635Cap. What plunges he puts me to? were not this
    Knight a fool, I had been twice spoil'd now; that Cap-
    tain's worse then accurst that has an Asse to a Kinsman,
    sfoot I fear he will drivel't out before I come to't.--Now
    sir,--to come to the point indeed, --you see I stick here
    1640in the jaw of the Marshalsea, and cannot do't.
    Sir Godf. Tut tut, I know thy meaning, thou wouldst
    say thou'rt a prisoner, I tell thee th'art none.
    Cap. How, none? why is not this the Marshalsea?
    Sir Godf. Woult hear me speak? I heard of thy rare
    My Chain was lost, I sweat for thy release,
    As thou shalt do the like at home for me:
    Enter Keeper.
    1650Keep. Sir.
    Sir Godf. Speak, is not this man free?
    Keep. Yes, at his pleasure, Sir, the Fees discharg'd.
    Sir Godf. Go, go, I'le discharge them, I.
    Keep. I thank your Worship.Exit Keeper.
    1655Cap. Now, trust me, y'are a dear Knight; kindnesse
    unexpected! oh there's nothing to a free Gentleman.--I
    will Conjure for you, sir, 'till Froth come through my
    Sir Godf. Nay, then thou shalt not passe with so lit-
    1660tle a bounty, for at the first sight of my Chain agen,---
    Fourty five Angels shall appear unto thee.
    Cap. 'Twill be a glorious show, ifaith Knight, a very
    fine show; but are all these of your own house? are you
    sure of that, Sir?
    1665Sir Godf. I, I, no, no; what's he yonder talking with
    my wild Nephew, pray heaven he give him good counsel.
    Cap. Who, he? he's a rare friend of mine, an admi-
    rable fellow, Knight, the finest Fortune-teller.
    Sir Godf. Oh! 'tis he indeed, that came to my Lady
    1670sister, and foretold the losse of my Chain; I am not an-
    gry with him now, for I see 'twas my Fortune to lose it:
    By your leave, Mr. Fortune-teller, I had a glimps of you
    at home, at my Sisters the Widows, there you prophe-
    sied of the loss of a Chain: -simply though I stand here,
    1675I was he that lost it.
    Pye. Was it you, sir?
    Edm. A my troth, Nuncle, he's the rarest fellow, has
    told me my fortune so right; I find it so right to my na-
    1680Sir Godf. What is't? God send it a good one.
    Edm. O, 'tis a passing good one, Nuncle: for he sayes
    I shall prove such an excellent Gamester in my time, that
    I shall spend all faster then my Father got it.
    Sir Godf. There's a Fortune indeed.
    1685Edm. Nay, it hits my humour so pat.
    Sir Godf. I, that will be the end on't: will the Curse
    of the Beggar prevail so much, that the son shall consume
    that foolishly, which the father got craftily; I, I, I;
    'twill, 'twill, 'twill.
    1690Pye. Stay, stay, stay.Pye-board with an Almanack,
    Cap. Turn over, George. and the Captain.
    Pye. June, July; here, July, thats the month, Sunday
    thirteen, yesterday fourteen, to day fifteen.
    Cap. Look quickly for the fifteen day,--if within the
    1695compasse of these two dayes there would be some Boy-
    strous storm or other, it would be the best, I'de defer him
    off till then; some Tempest, and it be thy will.
    Pye. Here's the fifteen day,--Hot and fair.
    Cap. Puh, would t'ad been, Hot and foul.
    1700Pye. The sixteen day, that's to morrow; The mor-
    ning for the most part, fair and pleasant.
    Cap. No luck.
    Pye. But about high-noon, Lightning and thunder.
    Cap. Lightning and thunder? admirable! best of all!
    1705I'le Conjure to morrow just at high-noon, George.
    Pye. Happen but true to morrow, Almanack, and I'le
    give the leave to lye all the year after.
    Cap. Sir, I must crave your patience, to bestow this
    day upon me, that I may furnish my self strongly,---I sent
    1710a Spirit into Lancashire tother day, to fetch back a knave
    Drover, and I look for his return this evening--to mor-
    row morning, my friend here, and I will come and break-
    fast with you.
    Sir Godf. Oh, you shall be most welcome.
    1715Cap. And about noon, without fail, I purpose to Con-
    Sir Godf. Mid-noon will be a fit time for you.
    Edm. Conjuring? do you mean to Conjure at our
    house, to morrow, Sir?
    1720Cap. Marry do I, sir? 'tis my intent, young Gentle-
    Edm. By my troth, I'le love you while I live for't: ô
    rare! Nicholas, we shall have Conjuring to morrow.
    Nic. Puh I, I could ha told you of that.
    1725Cap. Law, he could ha told him of that, fool, coxcomb,
    could ye?
    Edm. Do you hear me, sir, I desire more acquaintance
    on you, you shall earn some money of me, now I know
    you can Conjure; but can you fetch any that is lost?
    1730Cap. Oh, anything that's lost.
    Edm. Why look you, sir, I tell't you as a friend and a
    Conjurer; I should marry a Pothecaries Daughter, and
    'twas told me, she lost her Maiden-head at Stonie-Strat-
    ford: now if you'll do but so much as Conjure for't, and
    1735make all whole agen---
    Cap. That I will, Sir.
    Edm. By my troth I thank you, la.
    Cap. A little merry with your sisters son, sir.
    Sir Godf. Oh, a simple young man, very simple, come
    1740Captain, and you, sir; we'll e'en part with a gallon of
    wine 'till to morrow break-fast.
    Tip. Cap. Troth, agreed, sir.
    Nic. Kinsman--Scholar.
    Pye. Why now thou art a good Knave, worth a hun-
    1745dred Brownists.
    Nic. Am I indeed, la: I thank you heartily, la.