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- Edition: All's Well That Ends Well
All's Well That Ends Well (Modern)
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[5.3]
5.3.0.12695Flourish. Enter King, [Countess], Lafeu, the two French 2696Lords, with Attendant [Gentlemen].
We lost a jewel of her, and our esteem
2701Countess
'Tis past, my liege,
2706King
My honored lady,
2710Lafeu
This I must say,
2719King
Praising what is lost
2728 Attendant Gentleman
I shall, my liege.
5.3.27.1[Exit.]
[To Lafeu] What says he to your daughter? 2730Have you spoke?
All that he is hath reference to your highness.
Then shall we have a match. I have letters 2733sent me,
5.3.31That sets him high in fame.
2735Lafeu
He looks well on't.
I am not a day of season,
2741Bertram
My high-repented blames,
2743King
All is whole.
2750Bertram
Admiringly, my liege, at first
2762King
Well excused.
Come on, my son, in whom my house's name
5.3.752783That she may quickly come. [Bertram removes a ring from his finger and gives it to Lafeu.] By my old beard
2788Bertram
Hers it was not.
Now pray you let me see it. For mine eye,
2796Bertram
My gracious sovereign,
2799Countess
Son, on my life,
2802Lafeu
I am sure I saw her wear it.
You are deceived, my lord, she never saw it.
2813King
Plutus himself,
2825Bertram
She never saw it.
Thou speakst it falsely, as I love mine honor,
2838Bertram
If you shall prove
5.3.126.1[Exit Bertram under guard.]
[Aside] I'm wrapped in dismal thinkings.
2844Austringer
Gracious sovereign,
Upon his many protestations to marry me when his wife was 2857dead, I blush to say it, he won me. Now is the Count 2858Roussillon a widower, his vows are forfeited to me, and my 2859honor's paid to him. He stole from Florence, taking no 2860leave, and I follow him to his country for justice. Grant 2861it me, O King! In you it best lies. Otherwise a seducer 2862flourishes and a poor maid is undone. 2863Diana Capilet.
I will buy me a son-in-law in a fair, and toll 2865for this. I'll none of him.
The heavens have thought well on thee, Lafeu,
2872Countess
Now justice on the doers.
I wonder, sir, sith wives are monsters to you,
I am, my lord, a wretched Florentine,
I am her mother, sir, whose age and honor
Come hither, count. Do you know these 2885women?
My lord, I neither can nor will deny
[To Bertram] Why do you look so strange upon your wife?
[To the King] She's none of mine, my lord.
2890Diana
If you shall marry,
[To Bertram] Your reputation comes too short for my 2898daughter. You are no husband for her!
[To Lafeu] My lord, this is a fond and desp'rate creature
Sir, for my thoughts, you have them ill to friend
2906Diana
Good my lord,
What sayst thou to her?
2910Bertram
She's impudent, my lord,
He does me wrong, my lord. If I were so,
2919Countess
He blushes, and 'tis hit.
2924King
[To Diana] Methought you said
I did, my lord, but loath am to produce
I saw the man today, if man he be.
Find him, and bring him hither.
[Exit an Attendant Gentleman.]
2930Bertram
What of him?
2936King
She hath that ring of yours.
I think she has; certain it is I liked her,
5.3.2052943Her [inf'nite cunning or insuite coming or insuite cunning or infinite conning] with her modern grace
2947Diana
I must be patient.
2953Bertram
I have it not.
What ring was yours, I pray you?
Sir, much like the same upon your finger.
Know you this ring? This ring was his of late.
And this was it I gave him, being abed.
The story then goes false. You threw it him
2960Diana
I have spoke the truth.
5.3.219.1Enter Paroles.
My lord, I do confess the ring was hers.
You boggle shrewdly. Every feather starts you.
2964Diana
Ay, my lord.
[To Paroles] Tell me, sirrah, but tell me true, I charge you,
So please your majesty, my master hath been an 2970honorable gentleman. Tricks he hath had in him, 2971which gentlemen have.
Come, come, to th' purpose. Did he love this 2973woman?
Faith, sir, he did love her, but how?
How, I pray you?
He did love her, sir, as a gentleman loves a woman.
How is that?
He loved her, sir, and loved her not.
As thou art a knave and no knave! What an 2980equivocal companion is this?
I am a poor man and at your majesty's 2982command.
He's a good drum, my lord, but a naughty 2984orator.
Do you know he promised me marriage?
Faith, I know more than I'll speak.
But wilt thou not speak all thou knowst?
Yes, so please your majesty: I did go between 2989them as I said, but more than that, he loved her, for 2990indeed he was mad for her, and talked of Satan, and of 2991limbo, and of furies, and I know not what. Yet I was in 2992that credit with them at that time that I knew of their 2993going to bed, and of other motions, as promising her 2994marriage, and things which would derive me ill will to 2995speak of. Therefore I will not speak what I know.
Thou hast spoken all already, unless thou canst 2997say they are maried, but thou art too fine in thy evidence; 2998therefore, stand aside. -- [To Diana] This ring, you say, was yours?
Ay, my good lord.
Where did you buy it? Or who gave it you?
It was not given me, nor I did not buy it.
Who lent it you?
3003Diana
It was not lent me neither.
Where did you find it then?
3005Diana
I found it not.
If it were yours by none of all these ways,
3008Diana
I never gave it him.
This woman's an easy glove, my lord: she goes 3010off and on at pleasure.
This ring was mine. I gave it his first wife.
It might be yours or hers for ought I know.
Take her away. I do not like her now.
3017Diana
I'll never tell you.
Take her away.
3019Diana
I'll put in bail, my liege.
I think thee now some common customer.
By Jove, if ever I knew man, 'twas you.
Wherefore hast thou accused him all this while?
Because he's guilty, and he is not guilty.
[She gestures to Lafeu or to the King.]
She does abuse our ears. To prison with her.
Good mother, fetch my bail.
[Exit the Widow.]
Stay, royal sir.
3039Enter Helen and [the] Widow.
3040King
Is there no exorcist
3043Helen
No, my good lord,
3046Bertram
Both, both. Oh, pardon!
Oh, my good lord, when I was like this maid,
If she, my liege, can make me know this clearly,
If it appear not plain and prove untrue,
Mine eyes smell onions; I shall weep anon.
5.3.2923059[To Paroles] Good Tom Drum, lend me a handkercher. 3060So, I thank thee. Wait on me home; I'll make sport with 3061thee. Let thy curtsies alone -- they are scurvy ones.
Let us from point to point this story know,