All's Well That Ends Well (Modern)

 1401[3.2]
 3.2.0.1Enter Countess[, with a letter,] and Clown.
 3.2.11402Countess
 It hath happened all as I would have had it, save 1403that he comes not along with her.
 3.2.21404Clown
 By my troth I take my young lord to be a 1405very melancholy man.
 3.2.31406Countess
 By what observance, I pray you?
 3.2.41407Clown
 Why, he will look upon his boot and sing, 1408mend the ruff and sing, ask questions and sing, pick 1409his teeth and sing. I know a man that had this trick of 1410melancholy, sold a goodly manor for a song.
 3.2.51411Countess
 Let me see what he writes and when he means 1412to come.
 3.2.5.1[She opens and reads the letter.]
 3.2.61413Clown
 I have no mind to Isbel since I was at court. 1414Our old lings and our Isbels o'th' country are nothing 1415like your old ling and your Isbels o'th' court. The brains 1416of my Cupid's knocked out, and I begin to love, as an 1417old man loves money, with no stomach.
 3.2.71418Countess
 What have we here?
 3.2.81419Clown
 E'en that you have there. 
 3.2.8.1Exit.
 3.2.91420Countess
 3.2.9.1[She reads] a letter.
 3.2.111421I have sent you a daughter-in-law. She hath recovered the 1422King, and undone me: I have wedded her, not bedded her, 1423and sworn to make the "not" eternal. You shall hear I am 1424run away. Know it before the report come. If there be 1425breadth enough in the world, I will hold a long distance. My 1426duty to you. Your unfortunate son, 1427Bertram.
 1428This is not well, rash and unbridled boy,
 3.2.101429To fly the favors of so good a king,
 1430To pluck his indignation on thy head
 3.2.121431By the misprising of a maid too virtuous
 3.2.131432For the contempt of empire.
 3.2.13.11433Enter Clown.
 3.2.141434Clown
 Oh, madam, yonder is heavy news within 1435between two soldiers and my young lady.
 3.2.151436Countess
 What is the matter?
 3.2.161437Clown
 Nay, there is some comfort in the news, some 1438comfort. Your son will not be killed so soon as I thought 1439he would.
 3.2.171440Countess
 Why should he be killed?
 3.2.181441Clown
 So say I, madam, if he run away, as I hear he 1442does. The danger is in standing to't: that's the loss of 1443men, though it be the getting of children. Here they 1444come will tell you more. For my part I only hear your 1445son was run away.
 3.2.18.11446Enter Helen and two Gentlemen.
 3.2.1914472 Gentleman
 Save you, good madam.
 3.2.201448Helen
 Madam, my lord is gone, forever gone.
 3.2.2114491 Gentleman
 Do not say so.
 3.2.221450Countess
 [To Helen] Think upon patience, pray you. -- Gentlemen,
 3.2.231451I have felt so many quirks of joy and grief
 3.2.241452That the first face of neither on the start
 3.2.251453Can woman me unto't. Where is my son, I pray you?
 3.2.2614541 Gentleman
 Madam, he's gone to serve the Duke of Flo
 3.2.271455rence.
 3.2.281456We met him thitherward, for thence we came,
 3.2.291457And, after some dispatch in hand at court,
 3.2.301458Thither we bend again.
 3.2.311459Helen
 Look on his letter, madam. Here's my passport.
 3.2.31.1[She shows the letter to the Countess and reads from it.]
 3.2.321460
 When thou canst get the ring upon my finger, which 1461never shall come off, and show me a child begotten of thy body 1462that I am father to, then call me husband, but in such a 1463"then" I write a "never."
 1464This is a dreadful sentence.
 3.2.331465Countess
 Brought you this letter, gentlemen?
 3.2.3414661 Gentleman
 Ay, madam, and for the contents' sake are sorry 1467for our pains.
 3.2.351468Countess
 [To Helen] I prithee, lady, have a better cheer.
 3.2.361469If thou engrossest all the griefs are thine,
 3.2.371470Thou robb'st me of a moiety. He was my son,
 3.2.381471But I do wash his name out of my blood,
 3.2.391472And thou art all my child. -- [To the Gentlemen.] Towards Florence, is he?
 3.2.4014731 Gentleman
 Ay, madam.
 1474Countess
 Ay, madam.  And to be a soldier?
 3.2.4114751 Gentleman
 Such is his noble purpose, and, believe 't,
 3.2.421476The duke will lay upon him all the honor
 3.2.431477That good convenience claims.
 1478Countess
 That good convenience claims.  Return you thither?
 3.2.4514792 Gentleman
 Ay, madam, with the swiftest wing of speed.
 3.2.461480Helen
  Till I have no wife, I have nothing in France.
 3.2.471481'Tis bitter.
 1482Countess
 'Tis bitter.  Find you that there?
 1483Helen
 'Tis bitter. Find you that there?  Ay, madam.
 3.2.4814842 Gentleman
 'Tis but the boldness of his hand, haply, which 1485his heart was not consenting to.
 3.2.491486Countess
 Nothing in France, until he have no wife.
 3.2.501487There's nothing here that is too good for him
 3.2.511488But only she, and she deserves a lord
 3.2.521489That twenty such rude boys might tend upon
 3.2.531490And call her hourly mistress. Who was with him?
 3.2.5414912 Gentleman
 A servant only, and a gentleman which I 1492have sometime known.
 3.2.551493Countess
 Paroles, was it not?
 14942 Gentleman
 Paroles, was it not?  Ay, my good lady, he.
 3.2.561495Countess
 A very tainted fellow, and full of wickedness.
 3.2.571496My son corrupts a well-derivèd nature
 3.2.581497With his inducement.
 3.2.5914982 Gentleman
 Indeed, good lady, the fellow has a deal of 1499that, too much, which holds him much to have.
 3.2.601500Countess
 You're welcome, gentlemen.
 3.2.61I will entreat you 1501when you see my son
 3.2.62To tell him that his sword can 1502never win
 3.2.63The honor that he loses. More I'll entreat you
 3.2.641503Written to bear along.
 15041 Gentleman
 Written to bear along.  We serve you, madam,
 3.2.65In that and all your 1505worthiest affairs.
 3.2.661506Countess
 Not so, but as we change our courtesies.
 3.2.671507Will you draw near? 
 3.2.67.1Exit [Countess with the Gentlemen].
 3.2.681508Helen
 "Till I have no wife I
 have nothing in France."
 3.2.691509Nothing in France until he has no wife.
 3.2.701510Thou shalt have none, Roussillon, none in France;
 3.2.711511Then hast thou all again. Poor lord, is't I
 3.2.721512That chase thee from thy country and expose
 3.2.731513Those tender limbs of thine to the event
 3.2.741514Of the none-sparing war? And is it I
 3.2.751515That drive thee from the sportive court, where thou
 3.2.761516Wast shot at with faire eyes, to be the mark
 3.2.771517Of smoky muskets? O you leaden messengers
 3.2.781518That ride vpon the violent speed of fire,
 3.2.791519Fly with false aim, move the still-'pearing air
 3.2.801520That sings with piercing, do not touch my lord!
 3.2.811521Whoever shoots at him, I set him there.
 3.2.821522Whoever charges on his forward breast,
 3.2.831523I am the caitiff that do hold him to 't,
 3.2.841524And, though I kill him not, I am the cause
 3.2.851525His death was so effected: Better 'twere
 3.2.861526I met the ravin lion when he roared
 3.2.871527With sharp constraint of hunger. Better 'twere
 3.2.881528That all the miseries which nature owes
 3.2.891529Were mine at once. No, come thou home, Roussillon,
 3.2.901530Whence honor but of danger wins a scar
 3.2.911531As oft it loses all. I will be gone.
 3.2.921532My being here it is that holds thee hence.
 3.2.931533Shall I stay here to do 't? No, no, although
 3.2.941534The air of paradise did fan the house
 3.2.951535And angels officed all: I will be gone,
 3.2.961536That pitiful rumor may report my flight
 3.2.971537To consolate thine ear. Come, night, end day,
 3.2.981538For with the dark, poor thief, I'll steal away. 
 3.2.98.1Exit.
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All's Well That Ends Well (Modern)
