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- Edition: All's Well That Ends Well
All's Well That Ends Well (Modern)
- Introduction
- Texts of this edition
- Facsimiles
824[2.2]
2.2.0.1Enter Countess and Clown.
Come on, sir, I shall now put you to the height 826of your breeding.
I will show myself highly fed and lowly 828taught. I know my business is but to the court.
To the court? Why, what place make you 830special, when you put off that with such contempt? 'But to 831the court'!
Truly, madam, if God have lent a man any 833manners, he may easily put it off at court. He that cannot 834make a leg, put off 's cap, kiss his hand, and say 835nothing, has neither leg, hands, lip, nor cap; and 836indeed such a fellow, to say precisely, were not for the 837court. But, for me, I have an answer will serve all men.
Marry, that's a bountiful answer that fits all 839questions.
It is like a barber's chair that fits all buttocks: 841the pin-buttock, the quatch-buttock, the 842brawn-buttock, or any buttock.
Will your answer serve fit to all questions?
As fit as ten groats is for the hand of an 845attorney, as your French crown for your taffety punk, as 846Tib's rush for Tom's forefinger, as a pancake for Shrove 847Tuesday, a Morris for May Day, as the nail to his hole, 848the cuckold to his horn, as a scolding quean to a 849wrangling knave, as the nun's lip to the friar's mouth; 850nay, as the pudding to his skin.
Have you, I say, an answer of such fitness for 852all questions?
From below your duke to beneath your 854constable, it will fit any question.
It must be an answer of most monstrous size 856that must fit all demands.
But a trifle neither, in good faith, if the learned 858should speak truth of it. Here it is, and all that belongs 859to't. Ask me if I am a courtier; it shall do you no 860harm to learn.
To be young again, if we could! I will be a 862fool in question, hoping to be the wiser by your 864answer. I pray you, sir, are you a courtier?
Oh Lord, sir! -- There's a simple putting off. More, 866more, a hundred of them.
Sir, I am a poor friend of yours that loves you.
Oh Lord, sir! -- Thick, thick, spare not me.
I think, sir, you can eat none of this homely 870meat.
Oh Lord, sir! -- Nay, put me to't, I warrant you.
You were lately whipped, sir, as I think.
Oh Lord, sir! -- Spare not me.
Do you cry 'Oh Lord, sir!' at your whipping, and 875'Spare not me'? Indeed your 'Oh Lord, sir!' is very sequent 876to your whipping; you would answer very well to a 877whipping, if you were but bound to't.
I ne'er had worse luck in my life in my 'Oh Lord, 879sir!' I see things may serve long, but not serve ever.
I play the noble housewife with the time, to 881entertain it so merrily with
a fool.
Oh Lord, sir! -- Why there't serves well again.
An end, sir. To your business: give Helen this, [Giving him a letter]
2.2.28This is not much.
887Clown
Not much commendation to them?
Not much employment for you. You 889understand me?
Most fruitfully. I am there before my legs.
Haste you again.
2.2.31.1Exeunt.