Not Peer Reviewed
- Edition: The Merry Wives of Windsor
The Merry Wives of Windsor (Modern, Folio)
- Texts of this edition
- Facsimiles
1157[3.1]
1158Enter Evans [with a bible in one hand and a rapier in the other, and] Simple [carrying the parson's gown].
1160Evans
I pray you now, good Master Slender's serving1161man, and friend Simple by your name; which way have 1162you looked for Master Caius, that calls himselfe doctor 1163of physic?
1164Simple
Marry, sir, the Petty-ward, the Park-ward, 1165every way – old Windsor way and every way but the 1166town way.
1167Evans
I most fehemently desire you you will also 1168look that way.
1169Simple
I will, sir.
[Exit.]
1170Evans
'Pless my soul, how full of cholers I am, and 1171trempling of mind! I shall be glad if he have deceived 1172me. How melancholies I am! I will knog his urinals a1173bout his knave's costard when I have good opportunities 1174for the 'ork. 'Pless my soul!
To shallow rivers to whose 1175falls
Melodious birds sings madrigals.
There will we make 1176our peds of roses,
And a thousand fragrant posies.
To shal1177low
–
'Mercy on me, I have a great dispositions to cry.
1178Melodious birds sing madrigals --
When as I sat in Pa1179bylon --
And a thousand vagram posies.
To shallow (&c.) –
1180Simple
Yonder he is coming, this way, Sir Hugh.
1181Evans
He's welcome.
To shallow rivers, to whose falls –
1182Heaven prosper the right! What weapons is he?
1183Simple
No weapons, sir. There comes my master, Master 1184Shallow, and another gentleman, from Frogmore over 1185the stile, this way.
1186Evans
Pray you give me my gowne, or else keepe it 1187in your armes.
Enter Page, Shallow, [and] Slender.
1188Shallow
How now, master parson? Good morrow, good 1189Sir Hugh! Keep a gamester from the dice, and a good 1190student from his book, and it is wonderful.
1191Slender
Ah, sweet Anne Page!
1192Page
'Saue you, good Sir Hugh.
1193Evans
'Pless you from his mercy sake, all of you.
1194Shallow
What, the sword, and the word? 1195Do you study them both, master parson?
1196Page
And youthful still, in your doublet and hose, 1197this raw-rheumatic day?
1198Evans
There is reasons and causes for it.
1199Page
We are come to you, to do a good office, master 1200parson.
1201Evans
Fery well. What is it?
1202Page
Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who 1203(belike) hauing received wrong by some person, is at 1204most odds with his own gravity and patience, that ever 1205you saw.
1206Shallow
I have lived fourscore years and vpward. I 1207never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning so 1208wide of his own respect.
1209Evans
What is he?
1210Page
I think you know him: Master Doctor Caius the 1211renowned French physician.
1212Evans
Got's-will and his passion, of my heart! I had 1213as lief you would tell me of a mess of porridge.
1214Page
Why?
1215Evans
He has no more knowledge in Hibbocrates and 1216Galen, and he is a knave besides, a cowardly knave, as 1217you would desires to be acquainted withal.
1218Page
I warrant you, he's the man should fight with 1219him.
1220Slender
Oh, sweet Anne Page!
1221Shallow
It appears so by his weapons. Keep them a1222sunder. Here comes Doctor Caius.
Enter Host, Caius, [and] Rugby. [Caius and Evans draw their rapiers.]
1223Page
Nay, good master parson, keep in your weapon.
1224Shallow
So do you, good master doctor.
1225Host
Disarm them and let them question. Let them 1226keep their limbs whole and hack our English.
1227Caius
I pray you let-a me speak a word with your 1228ear. [Aside to Evans] Vherefore vill you not meet-a me?
1229Evans
[Aside to Caius] Pray you use your patience. [Aloud] In good time.
1230Caius
By gar, you are de coward, de jack dog, John 1231ape.
1232Evans
[Aside to Caius] Pray you let vs not be laughing-stocks to other 1233men's humors. I desire you in friendship, and I will one 1234way or other make you amends. [Aloud] I will knog your urinal 1235about your knave's cogscomb.
1236Caius
Diable! Jack Rugby, mine host de Jarteer, have I 1237not stay for him to kill him? Have I not, at de place I did 1238appoint?
1239Evans
As I am a Christians soul, now look you, 1240this is the place appointed. I'll be judgment by mine 1241host of the Garter.
1242Host
Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaul, French and Welsh, 1243soul-curer, and body-curer.
1244Caius
Ay, dat is very good, excellent!
1245Host
Peace, I say! Hear mine host of the Garter. 1246Am I politic? Am I subtle? Am I a Machiavel? 1247Shall I lose my doctor? No, he gives me the potions 1248and the motions. [Offering his hand to Caius] -- Shall I lose my parson, my priest, 1249my Sir Hugh? No, he gives me the proverbs and the 1250no-verbs. [To Evans] Give me thy hand celestial. So. Boys of 1251art, I have deceived you both. I have directed you to 1252wrong places. Your hearts are mighty, your skins are 1253whole, and let burned sack be the issue. [To Shallow and Page] Come, lay their 1254swords to pawn. [To Caius and Evans] Follow me, lad of peace, follow, fol1255low, follow!
[Exit Host, with Simple and Rugby carrying the weapons.]
1256Shallow
Trust me, a mad host! Follow, gentlemen, fol1257low.
1258Slender
Oh, sweet Anne Page!
[Exeunt Shallow, Page, and Slender.]
1259Caius
Ha, do I perceive dat? Have you make-a de sot 1260of us, ha, ha?
1261Evans
This is well. He has made us his vlouting-stog. 1262I desire you that we may be friends, and let us knog our 1263prains together to be revenge on this same scall, scur1264vy, cogging companion, the host of the Garter.
1265Caius
By gar, with all my heart! He promise to bring 1266me where is Anne Page. By gar, he deceive me too.
1267Evans
Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray you, follow.
[Exeunt.]