1900Enter Falstoffe, Mist. Ford, Mist. Page, Seruants, Ford, 1901Page, Caius, Euans, Shallow. 1902Fal. Mi.
Ford, Your
sorrow hath eaten vp my
su
ffe
- 1903rance; I
see you are ob
sequious in your loue, and I pro
- 1904fe
sse requitall to a haires bredth, not onely Mi
st.
Ford,
1905in the
simple o
ffice of loue, but in all the accu
strement,
1906complement, and ceremony of it
: But are you
sure of
1908Mis. Ford. Hee's a birding (
sweet Sir
Iohn.)
1909Mis. Page. What hoa, go
ssip
Ford: what hoa.
1910Mis. Ford. Step into th'chamber, Sir
Iohn.
1911Mis. Page. How now (
sweete heart) who
se at home
1913Mis Ford. Why none but mine owne people.
1915Mis. Ford. No certainly: Speake louder.
1916Mist. Pag. Truly, I am
so glad you haue no body here.
1918Mis. Page. Why woman, your hu
sband is in his olde
1919lines againe: he
so takes on yonder with my hu
sband,
so
1920railes again
st all married mankinde;
so cur
ses all
Eues 1921daughters, of what complexion
soeuer; and
so bu
ffettes
1922him
selfe on the for-head: crying peere-out, peere-out,
1923that any madne
sse I euer yet beheld,
seem'd but tame
- 1924ne
sse, ciuility, and patience to this his di
stemper he is in
1925now: I am glad the fat Knight is not heere.
1926Mist. Ford. Why, do's he talke of him?
1927Mist. Page. Of none but him, and
sweares he was ca
- 1928ried out the la
st time hee
search'd for him, in a Ba
sket:
1929Prote
sts to my hu
sband he is now heere, & hath drawne
1930him and the re
st of their company from their
sport, to
1931make another experiment of his
su
spition: But I am glad
1932the Knight is not heere; now he
shall
see his owne foo
- 1934Mist. Ford. How neere is he Mi
stris
Page?
1935Mist. Pag. Hard by, at
street end; he wil be here anon.
1936Mist. Ford. I am vndone, the Knight is heere.
1937Mist. Page. Why then you are vtterly
sham'd, & hee's
1938but a dead man. What a woman are you? Away with
1939him, away with him: Better
shame, then murther.
1940Mist. Ford. Which way
should he go? How
should I
1941be
stow him? Shall I put him into the ba
sket againe?
1942Fal. No, Ile come no more i'th Ba
sket:
1943May I not go out ere he come?
1944Mist. Page. Alas: three of
Mr.
Fords brothers watch
1945the doore with Pi
stols, that none
shall i
ssue out: other
- 1946wi
se you might
slip away ere hee came: But what make
1948Fal. What
shall I do? Ile creepe vp into the chimney.
1949Mist. Ford. There they alwaies v
se to di
scharge their
1950Birding-peeces: creepe into the Kill-hole.
1952Mist. Ford. He will
seeke there on my word: Neyther
1953Pre
sse, Co
ffer, Che
st, Trunke, Well, Vault, but he hath
1954an ab
stra
ct for the remembrance of
such places, and goes
1955to them by his Note: There is no hiding you in the
1957Fal. Ile go out then.
1958Mist. Ford. If you goe out in your owne
semblance,
1959you die Sir
Iohn, vnle
sse you go out di
sguis'd.
1960Mist. Ford. How might we di
sgui
se him?
1961Mist. Page. Alas the day I know not, there is no wo
- 1962mans gowne bigge enough for him: otherwi
se he might
1963put on a hat, a mu
ffler, and a kerchiefe, and
so e
scape.
1964Fal. Good hearts, deui
se
something: any extremitie,
1965rather then a mi
schiefe.
1966Mist. Ford. My Maids Aunt the fat woman of
Brain- 1967ford, has a gowne aboue.
1968Mist. Page. On my word it will
serue him:
shee's as
1969big as he is: and there's her thrum'd hat, and her mu
ffler
1970too: run vp Sir
Iohn.
1971Mist. Ford. Go, go,
sweet Sir
Iohn: Mistris Page and
1972I will looke
some linnen for your head.
1973Mist. Page. Quicke, quicke, wee'le come dre
sse you
1974straight: put on the gowne the while.
1975Mist. Ford. I would my hu
sband would meete him
1976in this
shape: he cannot abide the old woman of Brain
- 1977ford; he
sweares
she's a witch, forbad her my hou
se, and
1978hath threatned to beate her.
1979Mist. Page. Heauen guide him to thy hu
sbands cud
- 1980gell: and the diuell guide his cudgell afterwards.
1981Mist. Ford. But is my hu
sband comming?
1982Mist. Page. I in good
sadne
sse is he, and talkes of the
1983ba
sket too, how
soeuer he hath had intelligence.
1984Mist. Ford. Wee'l try that: for Ile appoint my men to
1985carry the ba
sket againe, to meete him at the doore with
1986it, as they did la
st time.
1987Mist. Page. Nay, but hee'l be heere pre
sently: let's go
1988dre
sse him like the witch of
Brainford.
1989Mist. Ford. Ile
fir
st dire
ct my men, what they
1990shall doe with the ba
sket: Goe vp, Ile bring linnen for
1992Mist. Page. Hang him di
shone
st Varlet,
1993We cannot mi
su
se enough:
1994We'll leaue a proofe by that which we will doo,
1995Wiues may be merry, and yet hone
st too:
1996We do not a
cte that often, ie
st, and laugh,
1997'Tis old, but true, Still Swine eats all the draugh.
1998Mist. Ford. Go Sirs, take the ba
sket againe on your
1999shoulders: your Ma
ster is hard at doore: if hee bid you
2000set it downe, obey him: quickly, di
spatch.
2001 1 Ser. Come, come, take it vp.
2002 2 Ser. Pray heauen it be not full of Knight againe.
2003 1 Ser. I hope not, I had liefe as beare
so much lead.
2004Ford. I, but if it proue true (
Mr.
Page) haue you any
2005way then to vnfoole me againe. Set downe the ba
sket
2006villaine:
some body call my wife: Youth in a ba
sket:
2007Oh you Panderly Ra
scals, there's a knot: a gin, a packe,
2008a con
spiracie again
st me: Now
shall the diuel be
sham'd.
2009What wife I
say: Come, come forth: behold what ho
- 2010ne
st cloathes you
send forth to bleaching.
2011Page. Why, this pa
sses M.
Ford: you are not to goe
2012loo
se any longer, you mu
st be pinnion'd.
2013Euans. Why, this is Lunaticks: this is madde, as a
2015Shall. Indeed
M.
Ford, thi is not well indeed.
2016Ford. So
say I too Sir, come hither Mi
stris
Ford, Mi
- 2017stris
Ford, the hone
st woman, the mode
st wife, the vertu
- 2018ous creature, that hath the iealious foole to her hu
sband:
2019I
su
spe
ct without cau
se (Mi
stris) do I?
2020Mist. Ford. Heauen be my witne
sse you doe, if you
2021su
spe
ct me in any di
shone
sty.
2022Ford. Well
said Brazon-face, hold it out: Come forth
2025Mist. Ford. Are you not a
sham'd, let the cloths alone.
2026Ford. I
shall
finde you anon.
2027Eua. 'Tis vnrea
sonable; will you take vp your wiues
2028cloathes? Come, away.
2029Ford. Empty the ba
sket I
say.
2030M. Ford. Why man, why?
2031Ford. Ma
ster
Page, as I am a man, there was one con
- 2032uay'd out of my hou
se ye
sterday in this ba
sket: why
2033may not he be there againe, in my hou
se I am
sure he is:
2034my Intelligence is true, my iealou
sie is rea
sonable, pluck
2035me out all the linnen.
2036Mist. Ford. If you
find a man there, he
shall dye a Fleas
2039Shal. By my
fidelity this is not well
Mr.
Ford: This
2041Euans. Mr Ford, you mu
st pray, and not follow the
2042imaginations of your owne heart: this is iealou
sies.
2043Ford. Well, hee's not heere I
seeke for.
2044Page. No, nor no where el
se but in your braine.
2045Ford. Helpe to
search my hou
se this one time: if I
find
2046not what I
seeke,
shew no colour for my extremity: Let
2047me for euer be your Table-
sport: Let them
say of me, as
2048iealous as
Ford, that
search'd a hollow Wall-nut for his
2049wiues Lemman. Sati
sfie me once more, once more
serch
2051M. Ford. What hoa (Mi
stris
Page,) come you and
2052the old woman downe: my hu
sband will come into the
2054Ford. Old woman? what old womans that?
2055M. Ford. Why it is my maids Aunt of
Brainford.
2056Ford. A witch, a Queane, an olde couzening queane:
2057Haue I not forbid her my hou
se. She comes of errands
2058do's
she? We are
simple men, wee doe not know what's
2059brought to pa
sse vnder the profe
ssion of Fortune-telling.
2060She workes by Charmes, by Spels, by th'Figure, &
such
2061dawbry as this is, beyond our Element: wee know no
- 2062thing. Come downe you Witch, you Hagge you, come
2064Mist. Ford. Nay, good
sweet hu
sband, good Gentle
- 2065men, let him
strike the old woman.
2066Mist. Page. Come mother
Prat, Come giue me your
2068Ford. Ile
Prat-her: Out of my doore, you Witch,
2069you Ragge, you Baggage, you Poulcat, you Runnion,
2070out, out: Ile coniure you, Ile fortune-tell you.
2071Mist. Page. Are you not a
sham'd?
2072I thinke you haue kill'd the poore woman.
2073Mist. Ford. Nay he will do it, 'tis a goodly credite
2075Ford. Hang her witch.
2076Eua. By yea, and no, I thinke the o'man is a witch in
- 2077deede: I like not when a o'man has a great peard; I
spie
2078a great peard vnder his mu
ffler.
2079Ford. Will you follow Gentlemen, I be
seech you fol
- 2080low:
see but the i
ssue of my iealou
sie: If I cry out thus
2081vpon no traile, neuer tru
st me when I open againe.
2082Page. Let's obey his humour a little further:
2084Mist. Page. Tru
st me he beate him mo
st pittifully.
2085Mist. Ford. Nay by th'Ma
sse that he did not: he beate
2086him mo
st vnpittifully, me thought.
2087Mist. Page. Ile haue the cudgell hallow'd, and hung
2088ore the Altar, it hath done meritorious
seruice.
2089Mist. Ford. What thinke you? May we with the war
- 2090rant of woman-hood, and the witne
sse of a good con
sci
- 2091ence, pur
sue him with any further reuenge?
2092M. Page. The
spirit of wantonne
sse is
sure
scar'd out
2093of him, if the diuell haue him not in fee-
simple, with
2094fine and recouery, he will neuer (I thinke) in the way of
2095wa
ste, attempt vs againe.
2096Mist. Ford. Shall we tell our hu
sbands how wee haue
2098Mist. Page. Yes, by all meanes: if it be but to
scrape
2099the
figures out of your hu
sbands braines: if they can
find
2100in their hearts, the poore vnuertuous fat Knight
shall be
2101any further a
ffli
cted, wee two will
still bee the mini
- 2103Mist. Ford. Ile warrant, they'l haue him publiquely
2104sham'd, and me thinkes there would be no period to the
2105ie
st,
should he not be publikely
sham'd.
2106Mist. Page. Come, to the Forge with it, then
shape it:
2107I would not haue things coole.
Exeunt