991giue me
so much of your time in enchange of it, as to lay
992an amiable
siege to the hone
sty of this
Fords wife: v
se
993your Art of wooing; win her to con
sent to you: if any
994man may, you may as
soone as any.
995Fal. Would it apply well to the vehemency of your
996a
ffe
ction that I
should win what you would enioy? Me
- 997thinkes you pre
scribe to your
selfe very prepo
sterou
sly.
998Ford. O, vnder
stand my drift:
she dwells
so
securely
999on the excellency of her honor, that the folly of my
soule
1000dares not pre
sent it
selfe:
shee is too bright to be look'd
1001again
st. Now, could I come to her with any dete
ction
1002in my hand; my de
sires had in
stance and argument to
1003commend them
selues, I could driue her then from the
1004ward of her purity, her reputation, her marriage-vow,
1005and a thou
sand other her defences, which now are too
- 1006too
strongly embattaild again
st me: what
say you too't,
1008Fal. Ma
ster
Broome, I will
fir
st make bold with your
1009money: next, giue mee your hand: and la
st, as I am a
1010gentleman, you
shall, if you will, enioy
Fords wife.
1012Fal. I
say you
shall.
1013Ford. Want no money (Sir
Iohn) you
shall want none.
1014Fal. Want no
Mistresse Ford (Ma
ster
Broome) you
shall
1015want none: I
shall be with her (I may tell you) by her
1016owne appointment, euen as you came in to me, her a
ssi- 1017stant, or goe-betweene, parted from me: I
say I
shall be
1018with her betweene ten and eleuen: for at that time the
1019iealious-ra
scally-knaue her hu
sband will be forth: come
1020you to me at night, you
shall know how I
speed.
1021Ford. I am ble
st in your acquaintance: do you know
1023Fal. Hang him (poore Cuckoldly knaue) I know
1024him not: yet I wrong him to call him poore: They
say
1025the iealous wittolly-knaue hath ma
sses of money, for
1026the which his wife
seemes to me well-fauourd: I will v
se
1027her as the key of the Cuckoldly-rogues Co
ffer, & ther's
1029Ford. I would you knew
Ford,
sir, that you might a
- 1030uoid him, if you
saw him.
1031Fal. Hang him, mechanicall-
salt-butter rogue; I wil
1032stare him out of his wits: I will awe-him with my cud
- 1033gell: it
shall hang like a Meteor ore the Cuckolds horns:
1034Ma
ster
Broome, thou
shalt know, I will predominate o
- 1035uer the pezant, and thou
shalt lye with his wife. Come
1036to me
soone at night:
Ford's a knaue, and I will aggra
- 1037uate his
stile: thou (Ma
ster
Broome)
shalt know him for
1038knaue, and Cuckold. Come to me
soone at night.
1039Ford. What a damn'd Epicurian-Ra
scall is this? my
1040heart is ready to cracke with impatience: who
saies this
1041is improuident iealou
sie? my wife hath
sent to him, the
1042howre is
fixt, the match is made: would any man haue
1043thought this?
see the hell of hauing a fal
se woman: my
1044bed
shall be abus'd, my Co
ffers ran
sack'd, my reputati
- 1045on gnawne at, and I
shall not onely receiue this villanous
1046wrong, but
stand vnder the adoption of abhominable
1047termes, and by him that does mee this wrong: Termes,
1048names:
Amaimon sounds well:
Lucifer, well:
Barbason,
1049well: yet they are Diuels additions, the names of
fiends:
1050But Cuckold, Wittoll, Cuckold? the Diuell him
selfe
1051hath not
such a name.
Page is an A
sse, a
secure A
sse; hee
1052will tru
st his wife, hee will not be iealous: I will rather
1053tru
st a
Fleming with my butter, Par
son
Hugh the
Welsh- 1054man with my Chee
se, an
Irish-man with my Aqua-vit
ae- 1055bottle, or a Theefe to walke my ambling gelding, then
1056my wife with her
selfe. Then
she plots, then
shee rumi
- 1057nates, then
shee deui
ses: and what they thinke in their
1058hearts they may e
ffe
ct; they will breake their hearts but
1059they will e
ffe
ct. Heauen bee prais'd for my iealou
sie:
1060eleuen o'clocke the howre, I will preuent this, dete
ct 1061my wife, bee reueng'd on
Falstaffe, and laugh at
Page. I
1062will about it, better three houres too
soone, then a my
- 1063nute too late:
fie,
fie,
fie: Cuckold, Cuckold, Cuckold.
1066Enter Caius, Rugby, Page, Shallow, Slender, Host. 1069Caius. Vat is the clocke,
Iack.
1070Rug. 'Tis pa
st the howre (Sir) that Sir
Hugh promis'd
1072Cai. By gar, he has
saue his
soule, dat he is no-come:
1073hee has pray his Pible well, dat he is no-come: by gar
1074(
Iack Rugby) he is dead already, if he be come.
1075Rug. Hee is wi
se Sir: hee knew your wor
ship would
1077Cai. By gar, de herring is no dead,
so as I vill kill
1078him: take your Rapier, (
Iacke) I vill tell you how I vill
1080Rug. Alas
sir, I cannot fence.
1081Cai. Villanie, take your Rapier.
1082Rug. Forbeare: heer's company.
1083Host. 'Ble
sse thee, bully-Do
ctor.
1084Shal. 'Saue you
Mr. Do
ctor
Caius.
1085Page. Now good
Mr. Do
ctor.
1086Slen. 'Giue you good-morrow,
sir.
1087Caius. Vat be all you one, two, tree, fowre, come for?
1088Host. To
see thee
fight, to
see thee foigne, to
see thee
1089trauer
se, to
see thee heere, to
see thee there, to
see thee
1090pa
sse thy pun
cto, thy
stock, thy reuer
se, thy di
stance, thy
1091montant: Is he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he dead, my Fran
- 1092ci
sco? ha Bully? what
saies my
Esculapius? my
Galien? my
1093heart of Elder? ha? is he dead bully-Stale? is he dead?
1094Cai. By gar, he is de Coward-Iack-Prie
st of de vorld:
1095he is not
show his face.
1096Host. Thou art a Ca
stalion-king-Vrinall:
Hector of
1098Cai. I pray you beare witne
sse, that me haue
stay,
1099sixe or
seuen, two tree howres for him, and hee is no
- 1101Shal. He is the wi
ser man (M. Do
cto)rhe is a curer of
1102soules, and you a curer of bodies: if you
should
fight, you
1103goe again
st the haire of your profe
ssions: is it not true,
1105Page. Ma
ster
Shallow; you haue your
selfe beene a
1106great
fighter, though now a man of peace.
1107Shal. Body-kins M.
Page, though I now be old, and
1108of the peace; if I
see a
sword out, my
finger itches to
1109make one
: though wee are Iu
stices, and Do
ctors, and
1110Church-men (M.
Page) wee haue
some
salt of our youth
1111in vs, we are the
sons of women (M.
Page.)
1112Page. 'Tis true,
Mr.
Shallow.
1113Shal. It wil be found
so, (M.
Page:) M. Do
ctor
Caius,
1114I am come to fetch you home: I am
sworn of the peace:
1115you haue
show'd your
selfe a wi
se Phy
sician, and Sir
1116Hugh hath
showne him
selfe a wi
se and patient Church
- 1117man: you mu
st goe with me, M. Do
ctor.