1902Fal. Mi. Ford, Your sorrow hath eaten vp my suffe-

1903rance; I see you are obsequious in your loue, and I pro-

1904fesse requitall to a haires bredth, not onely Mist. Ford,

1905in the simple office of loue, but in all the accustrement,

1906complement, and ceremony of it: But are you sure of

1907your husband now?

1908Mis. Ford. Hee's a birding (sweet Sir Iohn.)

1909Mis. Page. What hoa, gossip Ford: what hoa.

1910Mis. Ford. Step into th'chamber, Sir Iohn.

1911Mis. Page. How now (sweete heart) whose at home

1912besides your selfe?

1913Mis Ford. Why none but mine owne people.

1914Mis. Page. Indeed?

1915Mis. Ford. No certainly: Speake louder.

1916Mist. Pag. Truly, I am so glad you haue no body here.

1917Mist. Ford. Why?

1918Mis. Page. Why woman, your husband is in his olde

1919lines againe: he so takes on yonder with my husband, so

1920railes against all married mankinde; so curses all Eues

1921daughters, of what complexion soeuer; and so buffettes

1922himselfe on the for-head: crying peere-out, peere-out,

1923that any madnesse I euer yet beheld, seem'd but tame-

1924nesse, ciuility, and patience to this his distemper he is in

1925now: I am glad the fat Knight is not heere.

1926Mist. Ford. Why, do's he talke of him?

1927Mist. Page. Of none but him, and sweares he was ca-

1928ried out the last time hee search'd for him, in a Basket:

1929Protests to my husband he is now heere, & hath drawne

1930him and the rest of their company from their sport, to

1931make another experiment of his suspition: But I am glad

1932the Knight is not heere; now he shall see his owne foo-

1933lerie.

1934Mist. Ford. How neere is he Mistris Page?

1935Mist. Pag. Hard by, at street end; he wil be here anon.

1936Mist. Ford. I am vndone, the Knight is heere.

1937Mist. Page. Why then you are vtterly sham'd, & hee's

1938but a dead man. What a woman are you? Away with

1939him, away with him: Better shame, then murther.

1940Mist. Ford. Which way should he go? How should I

1941bestow him? Shall I put him into the basket againe?

1942Fal. No, Ile come no more i'th Basket:

1943May I not go out ere he come?

1944Mist. Page. Alas: three of M^r. Fords brothers watch

1945the doore with Pistols, that none shall issue out: other-

1946wise you might slip away ere hee came: But what make

1947you heere?

1948Fal. What shall I do? Ile creepe vp into the chimney.

1949Mist. Ford. There they alwaies vse to discharge their

1950Birding-peeces: creepe into the Kill-hole.

1951Fal. Where is it?

1952Mist. Ford. He will seeke there on my word: Neyther

1953Presse, Coffer, Chest, Trunke, Well, Vault, but he hath

1954an abstract for the remembrance of such places, and goes

1955to them by his Note: There is no hiding you in the

1956house.

1957Fal. Ile go out then.

1958Mist. Ford. If you goe out in your owne semblance,

1959you die Sir Iohn, vnlesse you go out disguis'd.

1960Mist. Ford. How might we disguise him?

1961Mist. Page. Alas the day I know not, there is no wo-

1962mans gowne bigge enough for him: otherwise he might

1963put on a hat, a muffler, and a kerchiefe, and so escape.

1964Fal. Good hearts, deuise something: any extremitie,

1965rather then a mischiefe.

1966Mist. Ford. My Maids Aunt the fat woman of Brain-

1967ford, has a gowne aboue.

1968Mist. Page. On my word it will serue him: shee's as

1969big as he is: and there's her thrum'd hat, and her muffler

1970too: run vp Sir Iohn.

1971Mist. Ford. Go, go, sweet Sir Iohn: Mistris Page and

1972I will looke some linnen for your head.

1973Mist. Page. Quicke, quicke, wee'le come dresse you

1974straight: put on the gowne the while.

1975Mist. Ford. I would my husband would meete him

1976in this shape: he cannot abide the old woman of Brain-

1977ford; he sweares she's a witch, forbad her my house, and

1978hath threatned to beate her.

1979Mist. Page. Heauen guide him to thy husbands cud-

1980gell: and the diuell guide his cudgell afterwards.

1981Mist. Ford. But is my husband comming?

1982Mist. Page. I in good sadnesse is he, and talkes of the

1983basket too, howsoeuer he hath had intelligence.

1984Mist. Ford. Wee'l try that: for Ile appoint my men to

1985carry the basket againe, to meete him at the doore with

1986it, as they did last time.

1987Mist. Page. Nay, but hee'l be heere presently: let's go

1988dresse him like the witch of Brainford.

1989Mist. Ford. Ile first direct my men, what they

1990shall doe with the basket: Goe vp, Ile bring linnen for

1991him straight.

1992Mist. Page. Hang him dishonest Varlet,

1993We cannot misuse enough:

1994We'll leaue a proofe by that which we will doo,

1995Wiues may be merry, and yet honest too:

1996We do not acte that often, iest, and laugh,

1997'Tis old, but true, Still Swine eats all the draugh.

1998Mist. Ford. Go Sirs, take the basket againe on your

1999shoulders: your Master is hard at doore: if hee bid you

2000set it downe, obey him: quickly, dispatch.

2001 1 Ser. Come, come, take it vp.

2002 2 Ser. Pray heauen it be not full of Knight againe.

2003 1 Ser. I hope not, I had liefe as beare so much lead.

2004Ford. I, but if it proue true (M^r. Page) haue you any

2005way then to vnfoole me againe. Set downe the basket

2006villaine: some body call my wife: Youth in a basket:

2007Oh you Panderly Rascals, there's a knot: a gin, a packe,

2008a conspiracie against me: Now shall the diuel be sham'd.

2009What wife I say: Come, come forth: behold what ho-

2010nest cloathes you send forth to bleaching.

2011Page. Why, this passes M. Ford: you are not to goe

2012loose any longer, you must be pinnion'd.

2013Euans. Why, this is Lunaticks: this is madde, as a

2014mad dogge.

2015Shall. Indeed M. Ford, thi is not well indeed.

2016Ford. So say I too Sir, come hither Mistris Ford, Mi-

2017stris Ford, the honest woman, the modest wife, the vertu-

2018ous creature, that hath the iealious foole to her husband:

2019I suspect without cause (Mistris) do I?

2020Mist. Ford. Heauen be my witnesse you doe, if you

2021suspect me in any dishonesty.

2022Ford. Well said Brazon-face, hold it out: Come forth

2023sirrah.

2024Page. This passes.

2025Mist. Ford. Are you not asham'd, let the cloths alone.

2026Ford. I shall finde you anon.

2027Eua. 'Tis vnreasonable; will you take vp your wiues

2028cloathes? Come, away.

2029Ford. Empty the basket I say.

2030M. Ford. Why man, why?

2031Ford. Master Page, as I am a man, there was one con-

2032uay'd out of my house yesterday in this basket: why

2033may not he be there againe, in my house I am sure he is:

2034my Intelligence is true, my iealousie is reasonable, pluck

2035me out all the linnen.

2036Mist. Ford. If you find a man there, he shall dye a Fleas

2037death.

2038Page. Heer's no man.

2039Shal. By my fidelity this is not well M^r. Ford: This

2040wrongs you.

2041Euans. M^r Ford, you must pray, and not follow the

2042imaginations of your owne heart: this is iealousies.

2043Ford. Well, hee's not heere I seeke for.

2044Page. No, nor no where else but in your braine.

2045Ford. Helpe to search my house this one time: if I find

2046not what I seeke, shew no colour for my extremity: Let

2047me for euer be your Table-sport: Let them say of me, as

2048iealous as Ford, that search'd a hollow Wall-nut for his

2049wiues Lemman. Satisfie me once more, once more serch

2050with me.

2051M. Ford. What hoa (Mistris Page,) come you and

2052the old woman downe: my husband will come into the

2053Chamber.

2054Ford. Old woman? what old womans that?

2055M. Ford. Why it is my maids Aunt of Brainford.

2056Ford. A witch, a Queane, an olde couzening queane:

2057Haue I not forbid her my house. She comes of errands

2058do's she? We are simple men, wee doe not know what's

2059brought to passe vnder the profession of Fortune-telling.

2060She workes by Charmes, by Spels, by th'Figure, & such

2061dawbry as this is, beyond our Element: wee know no-

2062thing. Come downe you Witch, you Hagge you, come

2063downe I say.

2064Mist. Ford. Nay, good sweet husband, good Gentle-

2065men, let him strike the old woman.

2066Mist. Page. Come mother Prat, Come giue me your

2067hand.

2068Ford. Ile Prat-her: Out of my doore, you Witch,

2069you Ragge, you Baggage, you Poulcat, you Runnion,

2070out, out: Ile coniure you, Ile fortune-tell you.

2071Mist. Page. Are you not asham'd?

2072I thinke you haue kill'd the poore woman.

2073Mist. Ford. Nay he will do it, 'tis a goodly credite

2074for you.

2075Ford. Hang her witch.

2076Eua. By yea, and no, I thinke the o'man is a witch in-

2077deede: I like not when a o'man has a great peard; I spie

2078a great peard vnder his muffler.

2079Ford. Will you follow Gentlemen, I beseech you fol-

2080low: see but the issue of my iealousie: If I cry out thus

2081vpon no traile, neuer trust me when I open againe.

2082Page. Let's obey his humour a little further:

2083Come Gentlemen.

2084Mist. Page. Trust me he beate him most pittifully.

2085Mist. Ford. Nay by th'Masse that he did not: he beate

2086him most vnpittifully, me thought.

2087Mist. Page. Ile haue the cudgell hallow'd, and hung

2088ore the Altar, it hath done meritorious seruice.

2089Mist. Ford. What thinke you? May we with the war-

2090rant of woman-hood, and the witnesse of a good consci-

2091ence, pursue him with any further reuenge?

2092M. Page. The spirit of wantonnesse is sure scar'd out

2093of him, if the diuell haue him not in fee-simple, with

2094fine and recouery, he will neuer (I thinke) in the way of

2095waste, attempt vs againe.

2096Mist. Ford. Shall we tell our husbands how wee haue

2097seru'd him?

2098Mist. Page. Yes, by all meanes: if it be but to scrape

2099the figures out of your husbands braines: if they can find

2100in their hearts, the poore vnuertuous fat Knight shall be

2101any further afflicted, wee two will still bee the mini-

2102sters.

2103Mist. Ford. Ile warrant, they'l haue him publiquely

2104sham'd, and me thinkes there would be no period to the

2105iest, should he not be publikely sham'd.

2106Mist. Page. Come, to the Forge with it, then shape it:

2107I would not haue things coole. Exeunt