Internet Shakespeare Editions

About this text

  • Title: Twelfth Night (Modern)
  • Editors: David Carnegie, Mark Houlahan
  • ISBN: 978-1-55058-372-4

    Copyright Internet Shakespeare Editions. This text may be freely used for educational, non-proift purposes; for all other uses contact the Coordinating Editor.
    Author: William Shakespeare
    Editors: David Carnegie, Mark Houlahan
    Peer Reviewed

    Twelfth Night (Modern)

    Enter Sebastian and Clown [following].
    Will you make me believe that I am not sent for 1920you?
    Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow,
    Let me be clear of thee.
    Well held out i'faith! No, I do not know you, nor I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid you come 1925speak with her; nor your name is not Master Cesario; nor this is not my nose neither. Nothing that is so, is so.
    I prithee vent thy folly somewhere else,
    Thou know'st not me.
    Vent my folly! [To the audience] He has heard that word of some 1930great man, and now applies it to a fool. Vent my folly! I am afraid this great lubber the world will prove a cockney. [To Sebastian] I prithee now, ungird thy strangeness, and tell me what I shall vent to my lady. Shall I vent to her that thou art coming?
    I prithee, foolish Greek, depart from me. [Giving a coin]
    There's money for thee; If you tarry longer,
    [Threatening a blow] I shall give worse payment.
    By my troth, thou hast an open hand. [To the audience] These wise men that give fools money get themselves a good 1940report--after fourteen years' purchase!
    Enter Sir Andrew, Sir Toby, and Fabian.
    Sir Andrew
    Now, sir, have I met you again? There's for you!
    [He strikes Sebastian.]
    Why, there's for thee, and there, and there!
    [He beats Sir Andrew with the handle of his dagger.]
    [To the audience] Are all the people mad?
    1945Sir Toby
    [Seizing Sebastian] Hold, sir, or I'll throw your dagger o'er the house.
    [To the audience] This will I tell my lady straight; [To them] I would not be in some of your coats for twopence.
    Sir Toby
    Come on, sir, hold!
    Sir Andrew
    Nay, let him alone. I'll go another way to work 1950with him: I'll have an action of battery against him, if there be any law in Illyria. Though I struck him first, yet it's no matter for that.
    [To Sir Toby] Let go thy hand!
    Sir Toby
    Come, sir, I will not let you go. Come, my young 1955soldier, put up your iron. You are well fleshed. Come on!
    I will be free from thee. [He breaks free and draws his sword.] What wouldst thou now?
    If thou dar'st tempt me further, draw thy sword.
    Sir Toby
    [Drawing] What, what! Nay then, I must have an ounce or 1960two of this malapert blood from you.
    Enter Olivia.
    Hold, Toby! On thy life I charge thee, hold!
    Sir Toby
    Will it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch,
    1965Fit for the mountains and the barbarous caves,
    Where manners ne'er were preached! Out of my sight!
    [To Sebastian] Be not offended, dear Cesario.
    [To Sir Toby] Rudesby, be gone! [Exeunt Sir Toby, Sir Andrew and Fabian.] [To Sebastian] I prithee, gentle friend,
    Let thy fair wisdom, not thy passion, sway
    1970In this uncivil and unjust extent
    Against thy peace. Go with me to my house,
    And hear thou there how many fruitless pranks
    This ruffian hath botched up, that thou thereby
    Mayst smile at this. Thou shalt not choose but go;
    1975Do not deny. Beshrew his soul for me,
    He started one poor heart of mine in thee.
    [To the audience] What relish is in this? How runs the stream?
    Or I am mad, or else this is a dream.
    Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep;
    1980If it be thus to dream, still let me sleep!
    Nay, come, I prithee; would thou'dst be ruled by me!
    Madam, I will.
    O say so, and so be. Exeunt.