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  • Title: Two Gentlemen of Verona (Modern)
  • Editor: Melissa Walter

  • Copyright Internet Shakespeare Editions. This text may be freely used for educational, non-profit purposes; for all other uses contact the Editor.
    Author: William Shakespeare
    Editor: Melissa Walter
    Not Peer Reviewed

    Two Gentlemen of Verona (Modern)

    1.2.
    Enter Julia and Lucetta.
    Julia
    But say, Lucetta, now we are alone,
    155Wouldst thou then counsel me to fall in love?
    Lucetta
    Ay, Madam, so you stumble not unheedfully.
    Julia
    Of all the fair resort of gentlemen
    That every day with parle encounter me,
    In thy opinion which is worthiest love?
    160Lucetta
    Please you repeat their names, I'll show my mind
    According to my shallow simple skill.
    Julia
    What think'st thou of the fair Sir Eglamour?
    Lucetta
    As of a knight, well-spoken, neat, and fine;
    But were I you, he never should be mine.
    165Julia
    What think'st thou of the rich Mercatio?
    Lucetta
    Well of his wealth; but of himself, so-so.
    Julia
    What think'st thou of the gentle Proteus?
    Lucetta
    Lord, Lord, to see what folly reigns in us.
    Julia
    How now? What means this passion at his name?
    170Lucetta
    Pardon, dear madam, 'tis a passing shame
    That I, unworthy body as I am,
    Should censure thus on lovely gentlemen.
    Julia
    Why not on Proteus as of all the rest?
    Lucetta
    Then thus: of many good, I think him best.
    175Julia
    Your reason?
    Lucetta
    I have no other but a woman's reason:
    I think him so because I think him so.
    Julia
    And would'st thou have me cast my love on him?
    Lucetta
    Ay, if you thought your love not cast away.
    180Julia
    Why he, of all the rest, hath never moved me.
    Lucetta
    Yet he, of all the rest, I think best loves ye.
    Julia
    His little speaking shows his love but small.
    Lucetta
    Fire that's closest kept burns most of all.
    Julia
    They do not love that do not show their love.
    185Lucetta
    Oh, they love least that let men know their love.
    Julia
    I would I knew his mind.
    Lucetta
    Peruse this paper, madam.
    [Gives her a letter.]
    Julia
    "To Julia." Say, from whom?
    Lucetta
    That the contents will show.
    190Julia
    Say, say, who gave it thee?
    Lucetta
    Sir Valentine's page; and sent, I think, from Proteus.
    He would have given it you, but I being in the way
    Did in your name receive it. Pardon the fault, I pray.
    Julia
    Now, by my modesty, a goodly broker.
    195Dare you presume to harbor wanton lines?
    To whisper and conspire against my youth?
    Now trust me, 'tis an office of great worth,
    And you an officer fit for the place.
    There, take the paper. [Gives Lucetta the letter.] See it be returned,
    200Or else return no more into my sight.
    Lucetta
    To plead for love deserves more fee than hate.
    Julia
    Will ye be gone?
    Lucetta
    That you may ruminate.
    Exit [Lucetta].
    Julia
    And yet I would I had o'er looked the letter.
    205It were a shame to call her back again,
    And pray her to a fault for which I chid her.
    What fool is she, that knows I am a maid
    And would not force the letter to my view?
    Since maids, in modesty, say "No" to that
    210Which they would have the profferer construe "Ay."
    Fie, fie, how wayward is this foolish love
    That, like a testy babe, will scratch the nurse,
    And presently, all humbled, kiss the rod!
    How churlishly I chid Lucetta hence,
    215When willingly I would have had her here!
    How angerly I taught my brow to frown,
    When inward joy enforced my heart to smile!
    My penance is to call Lucetta back
    And ask remission for my folly past.
    220What ho! Lucetta!
    [Enter Lucetta.]
    [She drops the letter.]
    Lucetta
    What would your ladyship?
    Julia
    Is't near dinner time?
    Lucetta
    I would it were,
    That you might kill your stomach on your meat,
    225And not upon your maid.
    [Picks up letter.]
    Julia
    What is't that you
    Took up so gingerly?
    Lucetta
    Nothing.
    Julia
    Why didst thou stoop then?
    230Lucetta
    To take a paper up that I let fall.
    Julia
    And is that paper nothing?
    Lucetta
    Nothing concerning me.
    Julia
    Then let it lie for those that it concerns.
    Lucetta
    Madam, it will not lie where it concerns,
    235Unless it have a false interpreter.
    Julia
    Some love of yours hath writ to you in rhyme.
    Lucetta
    That I might sing it, madam, to a tune.
    Give me a note. Your ladyship can set -
    Julia
    As little by such toys as may be possible.
    240Best sing it to the tune of "Light o' love."
    Lucetta
    It is too heavy for so light a tune.
    Julia
    Heavy? Belike it hath some burden then?
    Lucetta
    Ay, and melodious were it, would you sing it.
    Julia
    And why not you?
    245Lucetta
    I cannot reach so high.
    Let's see your song.
    [Takes the letter.]
    How now, minion?
    Lucetta
    Keep tune there still, so you will sing it out.
    And yet me thinks I do not like this tune.
    You do not?
    Lucetta
    No, madam, 'tis too sharp.
    You, minion, are too saucy.
    Lucetta
    Nay, now you are too flat,
    And mar the concord with too harsh a descant.
    255There wanteth but a mean to fill your song.
    The mean is drowned with your unruly base.
    Lucetta
    Indeed, I bid the base for Proteus.
    This babble shall not henceforth trouble me;
    Here is a coil with protestation.
    [Tears and throws down or drops the letter.]
    260Go, get you gone, and let the papers lie;
    You would be fingering them to anger me.
    Lucetta
    [Aside] She makes it strange, but she would be best pleased
    To be so angered with another letter.
    [Exit Lucetta.]
    Nay, would I were so angered with the same.
    265O hateful hands, to tear such loving words!
    Injurious wasps, to feed on such sweet honey,
    And kill the bees that yield it with your stings!
    I'll kiss each several paper for amends.
    Look, here is writ, "Kind Julia." Unkind Julia!
    270As in revenge of thy ingratitude,
    I throw thy name against the bruising stones,
    Trampling contemptuously on thy disdain.
    And here is writ, "Love-wounded Proteus."
    Poor wounded name, my bosom as a bed
    275Shall lodge thee till thy wound be throughly healed;
    And thus I search it with a sovereign kiss.
    But twice or thrice was Proteus written down.
    Be calm, good wind, blow not a word away,
    Till I have found each letter in the letter
    280Except mine own name. That, some whirlwind bear
    Unto a ragged, fearful, hanging rock,
    And throw it thence into the raging sea.
    Lo, here in one line is his name twice writ:
    "Poor forlorn Proteus, passionate Proteus
    285To the sweet Julia." That I'll tear away,
    And yet I will not, sith so prettily
    He couples it to his complaining names.
    Thus will I fold them, one upon another;
    Now kiss, embrace, contend, do what you will.
    [Enter Lucetta.]
    290Lucetta
    Madam, dinner is ready, and your father stays.
    Well, let us go.
    Lucetta
    What, shall these papers lie like tell-tales here?
    If you respect them, best to take them up.
    Lucetta
    Nay, I was taken up for laying them down.
    295Yet here they shall not lie for catching cold.
    I see you have a month's mind to them.
    Lucetta
    Ay, Madam, you may say what sights you see;
    I see things too, although you judge I wink.
    Come, come, wilt please you go?
    Exeunt.