Internet Shakespeare Editions

About this text

  • Title: Henry The Eighth (Modern)
  • Editor: Diane Jakacki

  • Copyright Diane Jakacki. This text may be freely used for educational, non-profit purposes; for all other uses contact the Editor.
    Author: William Shakespeare
    Editor: Diane Jakacki
    Not Peer Reviewed

    Henry The Eighth (Modern)

    Enter Anne Bullen, and an old Lady.
    Not for that, neither; here's the pang that pinches:
    His highness, having lived so long with her, and she
    So good a lady that no tongue could ever
    1205Pronounce dishonor of her. By my life
    She never knew harm-doing. Oh, now after
    So many courses of the sun enthroned,
    Still growing in a majesty and pomp, the which
    To leave a thousandfold more bitter, than
    1210'Tis sweet at first t'acquire. After this process
    To give her the avaunt, it is a pity
    Would move a monster.
    Old Lady
    Hearts of most hard temper
    Melt and lament for her.
    Oh God's will, much better
    She ne'er had known pomp; though't be temporal,
    Yet if that quarrel Fortune do divorce
    It from the bearer, 'tis a sufferance, panging
    As soul and body's severing.
    1220Old Lady
    Alas poore Lady,
    She's a stranger now again.
    So much the more
    Must pity drop upon her; verily
    I swear, 'tis better to be lowly born
    1225And range with humble livers in content,
    Than to be perked up in a glist'ring grief
    And wear a golden sorrow.
    Old Lady
    Our content
    Is our best having.
    By my troth and maidenhead
    I would not be a queen.
    Old Lady
    Beshrew me, I would,
    And venture maidenhead for't, and so would you
    For all this spice of your hypocrisy.
    1235You that have so fair parts of woman on you
    Have, too, a woman's heart which ever yet
    Affected eminence, wealth, sovereignty;
    Which, to say sooth, are blessings, and which gifts
    (Saving your mincing), the capacity
    1240Of your soft cheverel conscience would receive
    If you might please to stretch it.
    Nay, good troth.
    Old Lady
    Yes, troth and troth. You would not be a queen?
    No, not for all the riches under heaven.
    1245Old Lady
    'Tis strange: a threepence bowed would hire me,
    Old as I am, to queen it. But I pray you,
    What think you of a duchess? Have you limbs
    To bear that load of title?
    No, in truth.
    1250Old Lady
    Then you are weakly made. Pluck off a little;
    I would not be a young count in your way,
    For more then blushing comes to. If your back
    Cannot vouchsafe this burden 'tis too weak
    Ever to get a boy.
    How you do talk.
    I swear again I would not be a queen
    For all the world!
    Old Lady
    In faith, for little England
    You'd venture an emballing: I, myself,
    1260Would for Caernarfonshire, although there longed
    No more to th' crown but that. Lo, who comes here?
    Chamberlain
    Good morrow, ladies; what were't worth to know
    The secret of your conference?
    My good lord,
    Not your demand; it values not your asking.
    Our mistress's sorrows we were pitying.
    Chamberlain
    It was a gentle business, and becoming
    The action of good women; there is hope
    1270All will be well.
    Now I pray God, amen.
    Chamberlain
    You bear a gentle mind, and heavenly blessings
    Follow such creatures. That you may, fair lady,
    Perceive I speak sincerely, and high notes
    1275Ta'en of your many virtues. The king's majesty
    Commends his good opinion of you to you, and
    Does purpose honor to you no less flowing
    Than Marchioness of Pembroke; to which title
    A thousand pound a year annual support,
    1280Out of his grace, he adds.
    I do not know
    What kind of my obedience I should tender.
    More then my all is nothing, nor my prayers
    Are not words duly hallowed, nor my wishes
    1285More worth than empty vanities. Yet prayers and wishes
    Are all I can return. Beseech your lordship,
    Vouchsafe to speak my thanks and my obedience
    As from a blushing handmaid to his highness,
    Whose health and royalty I pray for.
    1290Chamberlain
    Lady,
    I shall not fail t'approve the fair conceit
    The king hath of you. I have perused her well,
    Beauty and honor in her are so mingled
    That they have caught the king, and who knows yet
    1295But from this lady may proceed a gem
    To lighten all this isle. I'll to the King
    And say I spoke with you.
    Exit Lord Chamberlaine.
    My honored Lord.
    1300Old Lady
    Why this it is: see, see,
    I have been begging sixteen years in court
    (Am yet a courtier beggarly) nor could
    Come pat betwixt too early and too late
    For any suit of pounds. And you, (O, fate)
    1305A very fresh fish here. Fie, fie, fie upon
    This compelled fortune. Have your mouth filled up
    Before you open it.
    This is strange to me.
    Old Lady
    How tastes it? Is it bitter? Forty pence, no.
    1310There was a lady once ('tis an old story)
    That would not be a queen, that would she not
    For all the mud in Egypt. Have you heard it?
    Come, you are pleasant.
    Old Lady
    With your theme I could
    1315O'er mount the lark: the Marchioness of Pembroke?
    A thousand pounds a year for pure respect?
    No other obligation? by my life
    That promises mo' thousands! Honor's train
    Is longer than his fore-skirt. By this time
    1320I know your back will bear a duchess. Say,
    Are you not stronger then you were?
    Good Lady,
    Make yourself mirth with your particular fancy
    And leave me out on't. Would I had no being
    1325If this salute my blood a jot; it faints me
    To think what follows.
    The queen is comfortless and we forgetful
    In our long absence. Pray, do not deliver
    What here y'have heard to her.
    1330Old Lady
    What do you think me?
    Exeunt.