Internet Shakespeare Editions

Author: William Shakespeare
Editor: Diane Jakacki
Not Peer Reviewed

Henry The Eighth (Modern)

Enter Anne Bullen, and an old Lady.
Not for that, neither; here's the pang that pinches:
His highness, having lived so long with her, and she
So good a lady that no tongue could ever
1205Pronounce dishonor of her. By my life
She never knew harm-doing. Oh, now after
So many courses of the sun enthroned,
Still growing in a majesty and pomp, the which
To leave a thousandfold more bitter, than
1210'Tis sweet at first t'acquire. After this process
To give her the avaunt, it is a pity
Would move a monster.
Old Lady
Hearts of most hard temper
Melt and lament for her.
Oh God's will, much better
She ne'er had known pomp; though't be temporal,
Yet if that quarrel Fortune do divorce
It from the bearer, 'tis a sufferance, panging
As soul and body's severing.
1220Old Lady
Alas poore Lady,
She's a stranger now again.
So much the more
Must pity drop upon her; verily
I swear, 'tis better to be lowly born
1225And range with humble livers in content,
Than to be perked up in a glist'ring grief
And wear a golden sorrow.
Old Lady
Our content
Is our best having.
By my troth and maidenhead
I would not be a queen.
Old Lady
Beshrew me, I would,
And venture maidenhead for't, and so would you
For all this spice of your hypocrisy.
1235You that have so fair parts of woman on you
Have, too, a woman's heart which ever yet
Affected eminence, wealth, sovereignty;
Which, to say sooth, are blessings, and which gifts
(Saving your mincing), the capacity
1240Of your soft cheverel conscience would receive
If you might please to stretch it.
Nay, good troth.
Old Lady
Yes, troth and troth. You would not be a queen?
No, not for all the riches under heaven.
1245Old Lady
'Tis strange: a threepence bowed would hire me,
Old as I am, to queen it. But I pray you,
What think you of a duchess? Have you limbs
To bear that load of title?
No, in truth.
1250Old Lady
Then you are weakly made. Pluck off a little;
I would not be a young count in your way,
For more then blushing comes to. If your back
Cannot vouchsafe this burden 'tis too weak
Ever to get a boy.
How you do talk.
I swear again I would not be a queen
For all the world!
Old Lady
In faith, for little England
You'd venture an emballing: I, myself,
1260Would for Caernarfonshire, although there longed
No more to th' crown but that. Lo, who comes here?
Chamberlain
Good morrow, ladies; what were't worth to know
The secret of your conference?
My good lord,
Not your demand; it values not your asking.
Our mistress's sorrows we were pitying.
Chamberlain
It was a gentle business, and becoming
The action of good women; there is hope
1270All will be well.
Now I pray God, amen.
Chamberlain
You bear a gentle mind, and heavenly blessings
Follow such creatures. That you may, fair lady,
Perceive I speak sincerely, and high notes
1275Ta'en of your many virtues. The king's majesty
Commends his good opinion of you to you, and
Does purpose honor to you no less flowing
Than Marchioness of Pembroke; to which title
A thousand pound a year annual support,
1280Out of his grace, he adds.
I do not know
What kind of my obedience I should tender.
More then my all is nothing, nor my prayers
Are not words duly hallowed, nor my wishes
1285More worth than empty vanities. Yet prayers and wishes
Are all I can return. Beseech your lordship,
Vouchsafe to speak my thanks and my obedience
As from a blushing handmaid to his highness,
Whose health and royalty I pray for.
1290Chamberlain
Lady,
I shall not fail t'approve the fair conceit
The king hath of you. I have perused her well,
Beauty and honor in her are so mingled
That they have caught the king, and who knows yet
1295But from this lady may proceed a gem
To lighten all this isle. I'll to the King
And say I spoke with you.
Exit Lord Chamberlaine.
My honored Lord.
1300Old Lady
Why this it is: see, see,
I have been begging sixteen years in court
(Am yet a courtier beggarly) nor could
Come pat betwixt too early and too late
For any suit of pounds. And you, (O, fate)
1305A very fresh fish here. Fie, fie, fie upon
This compelled fortune. Have your mouth filled up
Before you open it.
This is strange to me.
Old Lady
How tastes it? Is it bitter? Forty pence, no.
1310There was a lady once ('tis an old story)
That would not be a queen, that would she not
For all the mud in Egypt. Have you heard it?
Come, you are pleasant.
Old Lady
With your theme I could
1315O'er mount the lark: the Marchioness of Pembroke?
A thousand pounds a year for pure respect?
No other obligation? by my life
That promises mo' thousands! Honor's train
Is longer than his fore-skirt. By this time
1320I know your back will bear a duchess. Say,
Are you not stronger then you were?
Good Lady,
Make yourself mirth with your particular fancy
And leave me out on't. Would I had no being
1325If this salute my blood a jot; it faints me
To think what follows.
The queen is comfortless and we forgetful
In our long absence. Pray, do not deliver
What here y'have heard to her.
1330Old Lady
What do you think me?
Exeunt.