525506By heauen me thinkes it were an ea
sie leape,
526507To plucke bright honor from the palefac't moone,
527508Or diue into the bottome of the deepe,
528509Where fadome line could neuer touch the ground,
529510And plucke vp drowned honor by the locks,
530511So he that doth redeeme her thence might weare
531512Without corriuall all her dignities,
532513But out vpon this halfe fac't fellow
ship.
533514Wor. He apprehends a world of
figures here,
534515But not the forme of what he
should attend,
535516Good coo
sen giue me audience for a while.
538518Wor. Tho
se
same noble Scots that are your pri
soners.
540519Hot. Ile keepe them all;
541520By God he
shal not haue a Scot of them,
542521No, if a Scot would
saue his
soule he
shal not,
543522Ile keepe them by this hand.
545524And lend no eare vnto my purpo
ses:
546525Tho
se pri
soners you
shal keepe.
547526Hot. Nay
I wil, thats
flat:
548527He
said he would not ran
some Mortimer,
549528Forbad my tongue to
speake of Mortimer,
550529But I wil
find him when he lies a
sleepe,
551530And in his eare ile hollow Mortimer:
552531Nay, ile haue a
starling
shalbe taught to
speake
553532Nothing but Mortimer, and giue it him
554533To keepe his anger
stil in motion.
555534Wor. Heare you co
sen a word.
556535Hot. All
studies here I
sollemnly de
fie,
557536Saue how to gall and pinch this Bullingbrooke,
558537And that
same
sword and buckler prince of Wales,
559538But that I thinke his father loues him not,
560539And would be glad he met with
some mi
schance:
561540I would haue him poi
soned with a pot of ale.
562541Wor. Farewel kin
sman, ile talke to you
563542when you are better temperd to attend.
The Hystorie
564543North. Why what a wa
spe-
stung and impatient foole
565544Art thou, to breake into this womans moode,
566545Tying thine eare to no tongue but thine owne.
567546Hot. Why looke you? I am whip and
scourgd with rods,
568547Netled, and
stung with pi
smires, when I heare
569548Of this vile polititian Bullingbrooke,
570549In Richards time, what do you cal the place?
571550A plague vpon it, it is in Gloce
ster
shire;
572551Twas where the mad-cap duke his vnckle kept
573552His vncle Yorke, where I
fir
st bowed my knee
574553Vnto this king of
smiles, this Bullingbrooke:
575554Zbloud, when you and he came backe from Rauen
spurgh.
576555North. At Barkly ca
stle.
578556Why what a candy deale of curte
sie,
579557This fawning greyhound then did proffer me,
580558Looke when his infant fortune came to age,
581559And gentle Harry Percy, and kind coo
sen:
582560O the diuel take
such coo
soners, god forgiue me,
583561Good vncle tel your tale, I haue done.
584562Wor. Nay, if you haue not, to it againe,
585563We wil
stay your lei
sure.
586564Hot. I haue done Ifaith.
587565Wor. Then once more to your Scotti
sh pri
soners,
588566Deliuer them vp without their ran
some
straight,
589567And make the Douglas
sonne your onely meane
590568For Powers in Scotland, which for diuers rea
sons
591569Which
I shall
send you written, be a
ssur'd
592570Wil ea
sely be granted you my Lord.
593571Your
sonne in Scotland being thus emploied,
594572Shal
secretly into the bo
some creepe
595573Of that
same noble Prelat wel belou'd,
597575Hot. Of Yorke, is it not?
598576Wor. True, who beares hard
599577His brothers death at Bri
stow the lord Scroop,
600578I
speake not this in e
stimation,
As
of Henry the fourth.
601579As what I thinke might be, but what I know
602580Is ruminated, plotted, and
set downe,
603581And onely
stayes but to behold the face
604582Of that occa
sion that
shal bring it on.
605583Hot. I
smell it. Vpon my life it will do well:
607584Nort. Before the game is afoote thou
still let
st slip.
608585Hot. Why, it cannot chu
se but be a noble plot,
609586And then the power of Scotland, and of Yorke,
610587To ioyne with Mortimer, ha.
612589Hot, In faith it is exceedingly well, aimd.
613590Wor. And tis no little rea
son bids vs
speed,
614591To
saue our heades by rai
sing of a head,
615592[F]or beare our
selues as euen as we can,
616593[T]he king will alwayes thinke him in our debt,
617594And thinke we thinke our
selues vn
sati
sfied,
618595Till he hath found a time to pay vs home,
619596And
see alreadie how he doth begin
620597To make vs
strangers to his lookes of loue.
621598Hot. He does, he does, weele be reuengd on him.
622599Wor. Coo
sen farewell. No further go in this,
623600Then I by letters
shall dire
ct your cour
se
624601When time is ripe, which will be
suddenly,
625602Ile
steale to Glendower, and Lo: Mortimer,
626603Where you and Douglas, and our powers at once,
627604As
I will fa
shion it
shall happily meete,
628605To beare out fortunes in our owne
strong armes,
629606Which now we hold at much vncertaintie.
630607Nor. Farewell good brother, we
shall thriue
I tru
st.
631608Hot. Vncle adieu: O let the houres be
short,
632609Till
fields, and blowes, and grones, applaud our
sport.
Exeunt. 634610Enter a Carrier with a lanterne in his hand. 6356111 Car. Heigh ho. An it be not foure by the day ile be hangd,
636612Charles-waine is ouer the new Chimney, and yet our hor
se not
Cii. 1 Car.
The Hystorie
6396151 Car. I preethe Tom beat Cuts
saddle, put a few
flockes in
640616the point, poore iade is wroong in the withers, out of all ce
sse.
6436182 Car. Pea
se and beanes are as danke here as a dog, and that
644619is the next way to giue poore iades the bottes: this hou
se is tur
- 645620ned vp
side downe
since Robin O
stler died.
6476211 Car. Poore fellow neuer ioyed
since the pri
se of Oates ro
se,
648622it was the death of him.
6496232 Car. I thinke this bee the mo
st villainous hou
se in all Lon
- 650624don road for
fleas, I am
stung like a Tench.
6516251 Car. Like a
Tench, by the Ma
sse there is nere a
King chri
- 652626sten could be better bit then I haue bin
since the
fir
st cocke.
6546272 Car. Why, they will allowe vs nere a Iordan, and then
655628we leake in your Chimney, and your chamber-lie breedes
fleas
6576301 Car. What O
stler, come away and be hangd, come away.
6596312 Car. I haue a gammon of bacon, and two razes of Gin
- 660632ger, to be deliuered as far as Charing Cro
sse.
6616331 Car. Gods bodie, the Turkies in my Panier are quite
star
- 662634ued: what O
stler? a plague on thee, ha
st thou neuer an eie in thy
663635heade? can
st not heare, and twere not as good deed as drinke to
664636break the pate on thee,
I am a verie villain, come and be hangd,
667639Gadshill. Good morrow Cariers, whats a clocke?
668640Car: I thinke it be two a clocke.
669641Gad: I preethe lend me thy lanterne, to
see my gelding in the
6716431 Car: Nay by God
soft,
I knowe a trike worth two of that
673645Gad: I pray thee lend me thine.
6746462 Car. I when can
st tell? lend mee thy lanterne (quoth he)
675647marry ile
see thee hangd
fir
st.
676648Gad. Sirrha Carrier, what time do you meane to come to
6786502 Car. Time enough to go to bed with a candle,
I warrant
679651thee, come neighbour Mugs, weele call vp the Gentlemen,
they
of Henrie the fourth.
680652[t]hey will along with companie, for they haue great charge.
682653Enter Chamberlaine, Exeunt. 683654Gad. What ho: Chamberlaine.
684655Cham. At hand quoth pickepur
se.
685656Gad. Thats euen as faire as at hand quoth the Chamberlaine:
686657for thou varie
st no more from picking of pur
ses, then giuing di
- 687658re
ction doth from labouring: thou laye
st the plot how.
689659Cham: Good morrow mai
ster Gad
shil, it holdes currant that
690660I tolde you ye
sternight, ther's a Frankelin in the wild of Kent
691661hath brought three hundred Markes with him in golde,
I heard
692662him tell it to one of his company la
st night at
supper, a kinde of
693663Auditor, one that hath abundance of charge too, God knowes
694664what, they are vp alreadie, and call for Egges and Butter, they
697666Gad: Sirrha, if they meete not with Saint Nicholas clearkes,
698667[ile] giue thee this necke.
699668Cham. No, ile none of it,
I pray thee keepe that for the hang
- 700669[ma]n, for
I know thou wor
shippe
st Saine Nicholas, as trulie as
701670[a] man of fal
shood may.
702671Ga. What talke
st thou to me of the hãgman? if
I hang, ile make
703672a fat paire of Gallowes: for if
I hang, olde
sir
Iohn hangs with
704673me, and thou knowe
st he is no
starueling: tut, there are other
705674Troyans that thou dream
st not of, the which for
sport
sake
706675are content to do the profe
ssion,
some grace, that would (if mat
- 707676ters
should be lookt into) for their owne credit
sake make all
709677whole.I am ioyned with no footland rakers, no long-
sta
ffe
six
- 710678pennie
strikers, none of the
se mad mu
stachio purplehewd malt
- 711679worms, but with nobilitie, & tranquilitie, Burgoma
sters & great
712680Oneyres,
such as can hold in
such as wil
strike
sooner then
speak,
713681and
speake
sooner then drinke, and drinke
sooner then pray, and
714682yet (zoundes) I lie, for they pray continually to their Saint the
715683Common-wealth, or rather not pray to her, but pray on her, for
717684they ride vp and downe on her, and make her their bootes.
718685Cham. What, the Common-wealth their bootes? will
shee
719686hold out water in foule way?
720687Gad. She will,
she will, Iu
stice hath liquord her: wee
steale as
721688in a Ca
stell cock
sure: we haue the receyte of Ferne
seede, wee
Ciii. walke
The Hystorie
723690Cham: Nay by my faith, I thinke you are more beholding to
724691the night then to Ferne
seed, for your walking inui
sible.
726692Gad. Giue me thy hand, thou
shalt haue a
share in our pur
- 728693cha
se, as I am a true man.
729694Cham. Nay rather let me haue it, as you are a fal
se theefe.
731695Gad. Go to,
homo is a common name to al men: bid the O
st- 732696ler bring my gelding out of the
stable, farewell you muddye
735697Enter Prince, Poynes, and Peto, &c. 736698Po. Come
shelter,
shelter, I haue remoude Fal
stal
ffes hor
se,
737699and he frets like a gumd Veluet.
Enter Falstalffe.
740701Fal. Poynes, Poynes, and be hangd Poynes.
741702Pr. Peace yee fat-kidneyd ra
scall, what a brawling do
st 743704Fal. Wheres Poynes Hall?
744705Pr. He is walkt vp to the top of the hill, Ile go
seeke him.
746706Fal. I am accur
st to rob in that theeues companie, the ra
scall
747707hath remooued my hor
se, and tied him I knowe not where, if I
748708trauell but foure foote by the
squire further a foote, I
shall breake
749709my winde. Well, I doubt not but to die a faire death for all
750710this, if I
scape hanging for killing that rogue. I haue for
sworne
751711his companie hourly any time this xxii. yeares, and yet I am be
- 752712witcht with the rogues companie. If the ra
scall haue not gi
- 754713uen me medicines to make mee loue him, ile be hangd. It could
755714not be el
se, I haue drunke medicines. Poynes, Hall, a plague
756715vpon you both. Bardol, Peto, ile
starue ere ile robbe a foote
757716further, and twere not as good a deed as drinke to turne true
- 758717man, and to leaue the
se rogues, I am the verie
st varlet that euer
759718chewed with a tooth: Eight yeards of vneuen ground is three
- 760719score and ten myles a foote with mee, and the
stonie hearted
761720villiaines knowe it well enough, a plague vpon it when theeues
762721cannot be true one to another.
764723Whew, a plague vpon you all, giue mee my hor
se you rogues,
765724giue me my hor
se and be hangd:
Peace
766725Pr. Peace yee fatte guts, lie downe, lay thine eare [clo
se to]
767726the grounde, and li
st if thou can
st heare the treade of trauay
- 769727Falst. Haue you any leauers to lift me vp againe being down,
770728zbloud ile not beare my owne
fle
sh so farre a foote againe for
771729all the coyne in thy fathers Exchequer: What a plague meane
773731Pr. Thou lie
st, thou art not colted, thou art vncolted.
774732Falst. I preethe good prince, Hall, helpe me to my hor
se, good
776734Pr. Out ye rogue,
shall I be your O
stler?
777735Falst. Hang thy
selfe in thine owne heire apparant garters,
778736if I be tane, ile peach for this: and I haue not Ballads made on
779737you all, and
sung to
filthie tunes, let a cuppe of
sacke bee my
780738poy
son, when a iea
st is
so forward, and a foote too I hate it.
783740Gad. Stand.
Fal. So
I do again
st my will.
785741Po. O tis our
setter, I knowe his voice. Bardoll, what newes.
787742Bar. Ca
se ye, ca
se yee on with your vizardes, theres mony
788743of the kings comming downe the hill, tis going to the Kinges
790745Fal. You lie, ye rogue, [tis] going to the kings tauerne.
791746Gad. Theres enough to make vs all.
793748Pr. Sirs, you foure
shall front them in the narrowe lane: Ned
794749Poynes, and I will walke lower, if they
scape from your encoun
- 795750ter, then they light on vs.
796751Peto. How many be there of them?
798753Fal. Zounds will they not rob vs?
799754Pr. What, a coward
sir Iohn paunch.
800755Fast. In deed I am not Iohn of Gaunt your grandfather, but
802757Pr. Well, we leaue that to the proofe.
803758Po. Sirrha Iacke, thy hor
se
standes behinde the hedge, when
804759thou need
st him, there thou
shalt
find him: farewel &
stand fa
st.
806760Fast. Now can not I
strike him if I
should be hangd.
Pr.
807761[Pr]. Ned, where are our di
sgui
ses?
808762Po. Here, hard by,
stand clo
se.
809763Falst. Now my mai
sters, happieman be his dole,
say I, euerie
810764man to his bu
sine
sse.
Enter the trauailers. 812765Trauel. Come neighbour, the boy
shal lead our hor
ses down
813766the hill, weele walke a foote a while and ea
se our legs.
815767Theeues. Stand.
Trauel. Ie
sus ble
sse vs.
817768Falst. Strike, downe with them, cut the villaines throates, a
818769hore
sone Caterpillers, bacon-fed knaues, they hate vs youth,
819770downe with them,
fleece them.
820771Tra. O we are vndone, both we and ours for euer.
821772Fal. Hang ye gorbellied knaues, are yee vndone, no ye fatte
822773chu
ffes I woulde your
store were here: on bacons on, what yee
823774knaues yong men mu
st liue, you are grand iurers, are ye, weele
825776Here they rob them and bind them. Exeunt. 826777Enter the Prince and Poynes. 827778Pr. The theeues haue bounde the true men, nowe coulde
828779thou and I rob the theeues, and go merrily to London, it woulde
829780be argument for a weeke, laughter for a month, and a good iea
st 831782Po. Stand clo
se, I heare them comming.
832783Enter the theeues againe. 833784Fal. Come my mai
sters, let vs
share and then to hor
se before
834785day, and the prince and Poynes bee not two arrant cowardes
835786theres no equitie
stirring, theres no more valour in that Poynes,
839788As they are sharing the prince & Poins set vpon them, they all runne away, and
838790Po. Villaines.
Falstalffe after a blow or two runs away 840791 too, leauing the bootie behind them. 841792Prin. Got with much ea
se. Now merrily to hor
se: the theeues
842793are al
scattered, and po
sse
st with feare
so
strongly, that they dare
843794not meete each other, each takes his fellowe for an o
fficer, away
844795good Ned, Fal
stal
ffe
sweates to death, and lards the leane earth
845796as he walkes along, wert not for laughing I
should pittie him.
847797Po. How the fat rogue roard.
Exeunt.
Enter