525506By heauen me thinkes it were an easie leape,

526507To plucke bright honor from the palefac't moone,

527508Or diue into the bottome of the deepe,

528509Where fadome line could neuer touch the ground,

529510And plucke vp drowned honor by the locks,

530511So he that doth redeeme her thence might weare

531512Without corriuall all her dignities,

532513But out vpon this halfe fac't fellowship.

533514Wor. He apprehends a world of figures here,

534515But not the forme of what he should attend,

535516Good coosen giue me audience for a while.

537517Hot. I cry you mercy.

538518Wor. Those same noble Scots that are your prisoners.

540519Hot. Ile keepe them all;

541520By God he shal not haue a Scot of them,

542521No, if a Scot would saue his soule he shal not,

543522Ile keepe them by this hand.

544523Wor. You, start away,

545524And lend no eare vnto my purposes:

546525Those prisoners you shal keepe.

547526Hot. Nay I wil, thats flat:

548527He said he would not ransome Mortimer,

549528Forbad my tongue to speake of Mortimer,

550529But I wil find him when he lies asleepe,

551530And in his eare ile hollow Mortimer:

552531Nay, ile haue a starling shalbe taught to speake

553532Nothing but Mortimer, and giue it him

554533To keepe his anger stil in motion.

555534Wor. Heare you cosen a word.

556535Hot. All studies here I sollemnly defie,

557536Saue how to gall and pinch this Bullingbrooke,

558537And that same sword and buckler prince of Wales,

559538But that I thinke his father loues him not,

560539And would be glad he met with some mischance:

561540I would haue him poisoned with a pot of ale.

562541Wor. Farewel kinsman, ile talke to you

563542when you are better temperd to attend.

564543North. Why what a waspe-stung and impatient foole

565544Art thou, to breake into this womans moode,

566545Tying thine eare to no tongue but thine owne.

567546Hot. Why looke you? I am whip and scourgd with rods,

568547Netled, and stung with pismires, when I heare

569548Of this vile polititian Bullingbrooke,

570549In Richards time, what do you cal the place?

571550A plague vpon it, it is in Glocestershire;

572551Twas where the mad-cap duke his vnckle kept

573552His vncle Yorke, where I first bowed my knee

574553Vnto this king of smiles, this Bullingbrooke:

575554Zbloud, when you and he came backe from Rauenspurgh.

576555North. At Barkly castle.

577 Hot. You say true.

578556Why what a candy deale of curtesie,

579557This fawning greyhound then did proffer me,

580558Looke when his infant fortune came to age,

581559And gentle Harry Percy, and kind coosen:

582560O the diuel take such coosoners, god forgiue me,

583561Good vncle tel your tale, I haue done.

584562Wor. Nay, if you haue not, to it againe,

585563We wil stay your leisure.

586564Hot. I haue done Ifaith.

587565Wor. Then once more to your Scottish prisoners,

588566Deliuer them vp without their ransome straight,

589567And make the Douglas sonne your onely meane

590568For Powers in Scotland, which for diuers reasons

591569Which I shall send you written, be assur'd

592570Wil easely be granted you my Lord.

593571Your sonne in Scotland being thus emploied,

594572Shal secretly into the bosome creepe

595573Of that same noble Prelat wel belou'd,

596574The Archbishop.

597575Hot. Of Yorke, is it not?

598576Wor. True, who beares hard

599577His brothers death at Bristow the lord Scroop,

600578I speake not this in estimation,

601579As what I thinke might be, but what I know

602580Is ruminated, plotted, and set downe,

603581And onely stayes but to behold the face

604582Of that occasion that shal bring it on.

605583Hot. I smell it. Vpon my life it will do well:

607584Nort. Before the game is afoote thou still letst slip.

608585Hot. Why, it cannot chuse but be a noble plot,

609586And then the power of Scotland, and of Yorke,

610587To ioyne with Mortimer, ha.

611588Wor. And so they shall.

612589Hot, In faith it is exceedingly well, aimd.

613590Wor. And tis no little reason bids vs speed,

614591To saue our heades by raising of a head,

615592[F]or beare our selues as euen as we can,

616593[T]he king will alwayes thinke him in our debt,

617594And thinke we thinke our selues vnsatisfied,

618595Till he hath found a time to pay vs home,

619596And see alreadie how he doth begin

620597To make vs strangers to his lookes of loue.

621598Hot. He does, he does, weele be reuengd on him.

622599Wor. Coosen farewell. No further go in this,

623600Then I by letters shall direct your course

624601When time is ripe, which will be suddenly,

625602Ile steale to Glendower, and Lo: Mortimer,

626603Where you and Douglas, and our powers at once,

627604As I will fashion it shall happily meete,

628605To beare out fortunes in our owne strong armes,

629606Which now we hold at much vncertaintie.

630607Nor. Farewell good brother, we shall thriue I trust.

631608Hot. Vncle adieu: O let the houres be short,

632609Till fields, and blowes, and grones, applaud our sport. Exeunt.

6356111 Car. Heigh ho. An it be not foure by the day ile be hangd,

636612Charles-waine is ouer the new Chimney, and yet our horse not

637613packt. What Ostler.

638614Ost. Anon, anon.

Cii. 1 Car.

6396151 Car. I preethe Tom beat Cuts saddle, put a few flockes in

640616the point, poore iade is wroong in the withers, out of all cesse.

6436182 Car. Pease and beanes are as danke here as a dog, and that

644619is the next way to giue poore iades the bottes: this house is tur-

645620ned vpside downe since Robin Ostler died.

6476211 Car. Poore fellow neuer ioyed since the prise of Oates rose,

648622it was the death of him.

6496232 Car. I thinke this bee the most villainous house in all Lon-

650624don road for fleas, I am stung like a Tench.

6516251 Car. Like a Tench, by the Masse there is nere a King chri-

652626sten could be better bit then I haue bin since the first cocke.

6546272 Car. Why, they will allowe vs nere a Iordan, and then

655628we leake in your Chimney, and your chamber-lie breedes fleas

656629like a loach.

6576301 Car. What Ostler, come away and be hangd, come away.

6596312 Car. I haue a gammon of bacon, and two razes of Gin-

660632ger, to be deliuered as far as Charing Crosse.

6616331 Car. Gods bodie, the Turkies in my Panier are quite star-

662634ued: what Ostler? a plague on thee, hast thou neuer an eie in thy

663635heade? canst not heare, and twere not as good deed as drinke to

664636break the pate on thee, I am a verie villain, come and be hangd,

665637hast no faith in thee?

667639Gadshill. Good morrow Cariers, whats a clocke?

668640Car: I thinke it be two a clocke.

669641Gad: I preethe lend me thy lanterne, to see my gelding in the

670642stable.

6716431 Car: Nay by God soft, I knowe a trike worth two of that

672644I fayth.

673645Gad: I pray thee lend me thine.

6746462 Car. I when canst tell? lend mee thy lanterne (quoth he)

675647marry ile see thee hangd first.

676648Gad. Sirrha Carrier, what time do you meane to come to

677649London?

6786502 Car. Time enough to go to bed with a candle, I warrant

679651thee, come neighbour Mugs, weele call vp the Gentlemen,

680652[t]hey will along with companie, for they haue great charge.

683654Gad. What ho: Chamberlaine.

684655Cham. At hand quoth pickepurse.

685656Gad. Thats euen as faire as at hand quoth the Chamberlaine:

686657for thou variest no more from picking of purses, then giuing di-

687658rection doth from labouring: thou layest the plot how.

689659Cham: Good morrow maister Gadshil, it holdes currant that

690660I tolde you yesternight, ther's a Frankelin in the wild of Kent

691661hath brought three hundred Markes with him in golde, I heard

692662him tell it to one of his company last night at supper, a kinde of

693663Auditor, one that hath abundance of charge too, God knowes

694664what, they are vp alreadie, and call for Egges and Butter, they

695665will away presently.

697666Gad: Sirrha, if they meete not with Saint Nicholas clearkes,

698667[ile] giue thee this necke.

699668Cham. No, ile none of it, I pray thee keepe that for the hang-

700669[ma]n, for I know thou worshippest Saine Nicholas, as trulie as

701670[a] man of falshood may.

702671Ga. What talkest thou to me of the hãgman? if I hang, ile make

703672a fat paire of Gallowes: for if I hang, olde sir Iohn hangs with

704673me, and thou knowest he is no starueling: tut, there are other

705674Troyans that thou dreamst not of, the which for sport sake

706675are content to do the profession, some grace, that would (if mat-

707676ters should be lookt into) for their owne credit sake make all

709677whole.I am ioyned with no footland rakers, no long-staffe six-

710678pennie strikers, none of these mad mustachio purplehewd malt-

711679worms, but with nobilitie, & tranquilitie, Burgomasters & great

712680Oneyres, such as can hold in such as wil strike sooner then speak,

713681and speake sooner then drinke, and drinke sooner then pray, and

714682yet (zoundes) I lie, for they pray continually to their Saint the

715683Common-wealth, or rather not pray to her, but pray on her, for

717684they ride vp and downe on her, and make her their bootes.

718685Cham. What, the Common-wealth their bootes? will shee

719686hold out water in foule way?

720687Gad. She will, she will, Iustice hath liquord her: wee steale as

721688in a Castell cocksure: we haue the receyte of Ferneseede, wee

Ciii. walke

722689walke inuisible.

723690Cham: Nay by my faith, I thinke you are more beholding to

724691the night then to Ferneseed, for your walking inuisible.

726692Gad. Giue me thy hand, thou shalt haue a share in our pur-

728693chase, as I am a true man.

729694Cham. Nay rather let me haue it, as you are a false theefe.

731695Gad. Go to, homo is a common name to al men: bid the Ost-

732696ler bring my gelding out of the stable, farewell you muddye

733knaue.

736698Po. Come shelter, shelter, I haue remoude Falstalffes horse,

737699and he frets like a gumd Veluet.

738700Pr. Stand close:

740701Fal. Poynes, Poynes, and be hangd Poynes.

741702Pr. Peace yee fat-kidneyd rascall, what a brawling dost

742703thou keepe?

743704Fal. Wheres Poynes Hall?

744705Pr. He is walkt vp to the top of the hill, Ile go seeke him.

746706Fal. I am accurst to rob in that theeues companie, the rascall

747707hath remooued my horse, and tied him I knowe not where, if I

748708trauell but foure foote by the squire further a foote, I shall breake

749709my winde. Well, I doubt not but to die a faire death for all

750710this, if I scape hanging for killing that rogue. I haue forsworne

751711his companie hourly any time this xxii. yeares, and yet I am be-

752712witcht with the rogues companie. If the rascall haue not gi-

754713uen me medicines to make mee loue him, ile be hangd. It could

755714not be else, I haue drunke medicines. Poynes, Hall, a plague

756715vpon you both. Bardol, Peto, ile starue ere ile robbe a foote

757716further, and twere not as good a deed as drinke to turne true-

758717man, and to leaue these rogues, I am the veriest varlet that euer

759718chewed with a tooth: Eight yeards of vneuen ground is three-

760719score and ten myles a foote with mee, and the stonie hearted

761720villiaines knowe it well enough, a plague vpon it when theeues

762721cannot be true one to another.

764723Whew, a plague vpon you all, giue mee my horse you rogues,

765724giue me my horse and be hangd:

766725Pr. Peace yee fatte guts, lie downe, lay thine eare [close to]

767726the grounde, and list if thou canst heare the treade of trauay-

768lers.

769727Falst. Haue you any leauers to lift me vp againe being down,

770728zbloud ile not beare my owne flesh so farre a foote againe for

771729all the coyne in thy fathers Exchequer: What a plague meane

772730ye to colt me thus?

773731Pr. Thou liest, thou art not colted, thou art vncolted.

774732Falst. I preethe good prince, Hall, helpe me to my horse, good

775733kings sonne.

776734Pr. Out ye rogue, shall I be your Ostler?

777735Falst. Hang thy selfe in thine owne heire apparant garters,

778736if I be tane, ile peach for this: and I haue not Ballads made on

779737you all, and sung to filthie tunes, let a cuppe of sacke bee my

780738poyson, when a ieast is so forward, and a foote too I hate it.

783740Gad. Stand. Fal. So I do against my will.

785741Po. O tis our setter, I knowe his voice. Bardoll, what newes.

787742Bar. Case ye, case yee on with your vizardes, theres mony

788743of the kings comming downe the hill, tis going to the Kinges

789744Exchequer.

790745Fal. You lie, ye rogue, [tis] going to the kings tauerne.

791746Gad. Theres enough to make vs all.

792747Fal. To be hangd.

793748Pr. Sirs, you foure shall front them in the narrowe lane: Ned

794749Poynes, and I will walke lower, if they scape from your encoun-

795750ter, then they light on vs.

796751Peto. How many be there of them?

797752Gad. Some eight or ten.

798753Fal. Zounds will they not rob vs?

799754Pr. What, a coward sir Iohn paunch.

800755Fast. In deed I am not Iohn of Gaunt your grandfather, but

801756yet no coward, Hall.

802757Pr. Well, we leaue that to the proofe.

803758Po. Sirrha Iacke, thy horse standes behinde the hedge, when

804759thou needst him, there thou shalt find him: farewel & stand fast.

806760Fast. Now can not I strike him if I should be hangd.

807761[Pr]. Ned, where are our disguises?

808762Po. Here, hard by, stand close.

809763Falst. Now my maisters, happieman be his dole, say I, euerie

810764man to his businesse. Enter the trauailers.

812765Trauel. Come neighbour, the boy shal lead our horses down

813766the hill, weele walke a foote a while and ease our legs.

815767Theeues. Stand. Trauel. Iesus blesse vs.

817768Falst. Strike, downe with them, cut the villaines throates, a

818769horesone Caterpillers, bacon-fed knaues, they hate vs youth,

819770downe with them, fleece them.

820771Tra. O we are vndone, both we and ours for euer.

821772Fal. Hang ye gorbellied knaues, are yee vndone, no ye fatte

822773chuffes I woulde your store were here: on bacons on, what yee

823774knaues yong men must liue, you are grand iurers, are ye, weele

824775iure ye faith.

827778Pr. The theeues haue bounde the true men, nowe coulde

828779thou and I rob the theeues, and go merrily to London, it woulde

829780be argument for a weeke, laughter for a month, and a good ieast

830781for euer.

831782Po. Stand close, I heare them comming.

833784Fal. Come my maisters, let vs share and then to horse before

834785day, and the prince and Poynes bee not two arrant cowardes

835786theres no equitie stirring, theres no more valour in that Poynes,

836787then in a wilde ducke.

837789Pr. Your money.

838790Po. Villaines. Falstalffe after a blow or two runs away

841792Prin. Got with much ease. Now merrily to horse: the theeues

842793are al scattered, and possest with feare so strongly, that they dare

843794not meete each other, each takes his fellowe for an officer, away

844795good Ned, Falstalffe sweates to death, and lards the leane earth

845796as he walkes along, wert not for laughing I should pittie him.

847797Po. How the fat rogue roard.