Internet Shakespeare Editions

Editor: Helen Ostovich
Not Peer Reviewed

The Merry Wives of Windsor (Modern, Quarto)

[Scene 4]
Enter Mistress Quickly and Simple.
Quickly
Master Slender is your master's name, say you?
Simple
Ay, indeed, that is his name.
416.1 Quickly
How say you? I take it he is somewhat a weakly man, and he has, as it were, a whey-colored beard.
420 Simple
Indeed, my master's beard is cane-colored.
420.1 Quickly
Cane-color, you say well. And is this letter from sir yon about Mistress Anne, is it not?
Simple
Ay, indeed, is it.
420.5 Quickly
So. And your master would have me as it were to speak to Mistress Anne concerning him. I promise you my master hath a great-affectioned mind to Mistress Anne himself. And if he should know that I should, as they say, give my verdict for anyone420.10 but himself, I should hear of it thoroughly. For I tell you, friend, he puts all his privities in me.
429.1 Simple
Ay, by my faith, you are a good stay to him.
Quickly
Am I? Ay, an you knew all, you'd say so!485 Washing, brewing, baking, all goes through my hands,485.1 or else it would be but a woe house.
Simple
Ay, beshrow me, one woman to do all this488.1 is very painful.
490 Quickly
Are you avised of that? Ay, I warrant you, and he is such a honest man, an he should chance To come home and find a man here, we should403.1 have no "who?" with him. He is a parlous man.
Simple
Is he indeed?
Quickly
"Is he," quoth you? God keep him abroad -- [Knocking at the door] Lord bless me, who knocks there? For God's sake, step into the counting-house,433.1 while I go see who's at door.
He steps into the counting-house.
What, John Rugby, John -- And she opens the door. Are you come home, sir, already?
[Enter Doctor Caius.]
433.5 Caius
Ay, begar, I be forget my ointment. Where be John Rugby?
448.1 Enter John [Rugby].
450 Rugby
Here, sir, do you call?
Caius
Ay, you be John Rugby, and you be Jack Rugby! Go run up vit your heels and bring away452.1 de ointment in de vindow present.455 Make haste, John Rugby. Oh, I am almost forget my simples in a box in de counting-house -- [He opens the door to the counting-house.] O Jeshu, vat be here, a devil-la, a devil-la?460 My rapier, John Rugby. -- [To Simple] Vat be you, vat make you in my counting-house?458.1 I tink you be a tief.
Quickly
Jesu bless me, we are all undone.
Simple
O Lord, sir, no! I am no thief. I am a servingman.458.5 My name is John Simple. I brought a letter, sir, from my Master Slender about Mistress Anne Page,474.1 sir. Indeed, that is my coming.
Caius
Ay, begar, is dat all? -- John Rugby, give-a moi pen an' ink. -- [To Simple] Tarde un petit peu, tarde a little.
478.1 The Doctor writes.
Simple
O God, what a furious man is this?
Quickly
Nay, it is well he is no worse:480 I am glad he is so quiet.
Caius
Here give dat same to Sir Hugh: it bear ze challenge. Begar, tell him I will cut his nase, will you?
497.1 Simple
Ay, sir, I'll tell him so.
Caius
Dat be vell. -- My rapier, John Rugby. Follow moi .
512.1 Exit Doctor [with Rugby].
Quickly
Well, my friend, I cannot tarry. Tell your master I'll do what I can for him, and so farewell.
512.5 Simple
Marry, will I. -- [Aside] I am glad I am got hence.
Exeunt.