Internet Shakespeare Editions

Author: William Shakespeare
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Two Gentlemen of Verona (Folio 1, 1623)

Scoena Tertia.
Enter Launce, Panthion.
Launce. Nay, 'twill bee this howre ere I haue done
weeping: all the kinde of the Launces, haue this very
595fault: I haue receiu'd my proportion, like the prodigious
sonne,
The two Gentlemen of Verona. 25
Sonne, and am going with Sir Protheus to the Imperialls
Court: I thinke Crab mydog, be the sowrest natured
dogge that liues: My Mother weeping: my Father
wayling: my Sister crying: our Maid howling: our
600Catte wringing her hands, and all our house in a great
perplexitie, yet did not this cruell-hearted Curre shedde
one teare: he is a stone, a very pibble stone, and has no
more pitty in him then a dogge: a Iew would haue wept
to haue seene our parting: why my Grandam hauing
605no eyes, looke you, wept her selfe blinde at my parting:
nay, Ile shew you the manner of it. This shooe is my fa-
ther: no, this left shooe is my father; no, no, this left
shooe is my mother: nay, that cannot bee so neyther:
yes; it is so, it is so: it hath the worser sole: this shooe
610with the hole in it, is my mother: and this my father:
a veng'ance on't, there 'tis: Now sir, this staffe is my si-
ster: for, looke you, she is as white as a lilly, and as
small as a wand: this hat is Nan our maid: I am the
dogge: no, the dogge is himselfe, and I am the dogge:
615oh, the dogge is me, and I am my selfe: I; so, so: now
come I to my Father; Father, your blessing: now
should not the shooe speake a word for weeping:
now should I kisse my Father; well, hee weepes on:
Now come I to my Mother: Oh that she could speake
620now, like a would-woman: well, I kisse her: why
there 'tis; heere's my mothers breath vp and downe:
Now come I to my sister; marke the moane she makes:
now the dogge all this while sheds not a teare: nor
speakes a word: but see how I lay the dust with my
625teares.
Panth. Launce, away, away: a Boord: thy Master is
ship'd, and thou art to post after with oares; what's the
matter? why weep'st thou man? away asse, you'l loose
the Tide, if you tarry any longer.
630 Laun. It is no matter if the tide were lost, for it is the
vnkindest Tide, that euer any man tide.
Panth. What's the vnkindest tide?
Lau. Why, he that's tide here, Crab my dog.
Pant. Tut, man: I meane thou'lt loose the flood, and
635in loosing the flood, loose thy voyage, and in loosing thy
voyage, loose thy Master, and in loosing thy Master,
loose thy seruice, and in loosing thy seruice: --- why
dost thou stop my mouth?
Laun. For feare thou shouldst loose thy tongue.
640Panth. Where should I loose my tongue?
Laun. In thy Tale.
Panth. In thy Taile.
Laun. Loose the Tide, and the voyage, and the Ma-
ster, and the Seruice, and the tide: why man, if the Riuer
645were drie, I am able to fill it with my teares: if the winde
were downe, I could driue the boate with my sighes.
Panth. Come: come away man, I was sent to call
thee.
Lau. Sir: call me what thou dar'st.
650Pant. Wilt thou goe?
Laun. Well, I will goe.
Exeunt.