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  • Title: Henry IV, Part 2 (Modern)
  • Editor: Rosemary Gaby

  • Copyright Rosemary Gaby. This text may be freely used for educational, non-profit purposes; for all other uses contact the Editor.
    Author: William Shakespeare
    Editor: Rosemary Gaby
    Not Peer Reviewed

    Henry IV, Part 2 (Modern)

    [5.3]
    Enter Sir John [Falstaff], Shallow, Silence, Davy, Bardolph, Page.
    Shallow
    Nay you shall see my orchard, where, in an arbour, we 3035will eat a last year's pippin of mine own grafting, with a dish of caraways and so forth -- come, cousin Silence -- and then to bed.
    Falstaff
    'Fore god you have here a goodly dwelling, and a rich.
    Shallow
    Barren, barren, barren; beggars all, beggars all, Sir 3040John. Marry, good air. Spread Davy, spread Davy.
    [Davy lays the table.]
    Well said, Davy.
    Falstaff
    This Davy serves you for good uses: he is your serving-man and your husband.
    Shallow
    A good varlet, a good varlet, a very good varlet, Sir 3045John -- by the mass, I have drunk too much sack at supper -- a good varlet. Now sit down, now sit down. Come, cousin.
    Silence
    Ah, sirrah, quoth a, we shall --
    [Singing] Do nothing but eat and make good cheer,
    And praise god for the merry year,
    3050When flesh is cheap and females dear,
    And lusty lads roam here and there
    So merrily,
    And ever among so merrily.
    Falstaff
    There's a merry heart. Good Master Silence, I'll give you a health for that anon.
    3055Shallow
    Give Master Bardolph some wine, Davy.
    Sweet sir, sit. I'll be with you anon. Most sweet sir sit. Master Page, good Master Page, sit. Proface! What you want in meat, we'll have in drink; but you must bear; the heart's all.
    [Exit Davy.]
    3060Shallow
    Be merry, Master Bardolph, and my litle soldier there, be merry.
    Silence
    [Singing] Be merry, be merry, my wife has all,
    For women are shrews both short and tall,
    'Tis merry in hall when beards wags all,
    And welcome merry shrovetide, be merry, be merry.
    Falstaff
    I did not think Master Silence had been a man of this mettle.
    Silence
    Who I? I have been merry twice and once ere now.
    3068.1Enter Davy.
    There's a dish of leather-coats for you.
    Shallow
    Davy!
    Your worship, I'll be with you straight. A cup of wine, sir?
    Silence
    [Singing] A cup of wine that's brisk and fine,
    3075And drink unto thee, leman mine,
    And a merry heart lives long-a!
    Falstaff
    Well said, Master Silence.
    Silence
    And we shall be merry. Now comes in the sweet o'th'night.
    Falstaff
    Health and long life to you, Master Silence.
    3080Silence
    Fill the cup and let it come. I'll pledge you a mile to th'bottom.
    Shallow
    Honest Bardolph, welcome. If thou want'st anything and wilt not call, beshrew thy heart! [To the Page] Welcome my little tiny thief, and welcome indeed too. I'll drink to Master Bardolph, 3085and to all the cavalieros about London.
    I hope to see London once ere I die.
    Bardolph
    And I might see you there, Davy.
    Shallow
    By the mass, you'll crack a quart together! Ha, will you not, Master Bardolph?
    3090Bardolph
    Yea sir, in a pottle-pot.
    Shallow
    By god's liggens, I thank thee. The knave will stick by thee, I can assure thee that. 'A will not out; 'a 'tis true bred!
    Bardolph
    And I'll stick by him, sir.
    One knocks at door.
    Shallow
    Why there spoke a king. Lack nothing, be merry. 3095Look who's at door there, ho. Who knocks?
    [Exit Davy.]
    Falstaff
    Why, now you have done me right.
    Silence
    [Singing] Do me right,
    And dub me knight,
    Samingo!
    Is't not so?
    Falstaff
    'Tis so.
    3100Silence
    Is't so? Why then, say an old man can do somewhat.
    [Enter Davy.]
    An't please your worship, there's one Pistol come from the court with news.
    Enter Pistol.
    Falstaff
    From the court? Let him come in -- how now, Pistol?
    Pistol
    Sir John, god save you.
    Falstaff
    What wind blew you hither, Pistol?
    Pistol
    Not the ill wind which blows no man to good: sweet knight, thou art now one of the greatest men in this 3110realm.
    Silence
    By'r lady I think 'a be, but Goodman Puff of Barson.
    Pistol
    Puff?
    Puff i'thy teeth, most recreant coward, base!
    Sir John, I am thy Pistol and thy friend,
    3115And helter skelter, have I rode to thee,
    And tidings do I bring, and lucky joys,
    And golden times, and happy news of price.
    Falstaff
    I pray thee now deliver them like a man of this world.
    3120Pistol
    A foutre for the world and worldlings base!
    I speak of Africa and golden joys.
    Falstaff
    O base Assyrian knight, what is thy news?
    Let King Cophetua know the truth thereof.
    Silence
    [Singing]And Robin Hood, Scarlet, and John --
    3125Pistol
    Shall dunghill curs confront the Helicons?
    And shall good news be baffled?
    Then, Pistol, lay thy head in Furies' lap.
    Shallow
    Honest gentleman, I know not your breeding.
    3130Pistol
    Why then, lament therefore.
    Shallow
    Give me pardon, sir, if, sir, you come with news from the court, I take it there's but two ways: either to utter them, or conceal them. I am, sir, under the king in some authority.
    3135Pistol
    Under which king, besonian? Speak, or die!
    Shallow
    Under King Harry.
    Pistol
    Harry the fourth, or fifth?
    Shallow
    Harry the fourth.
    3140Pistol
    A foutre for thine office!
    Sir John, thy tender lambkin now is king:
    Harry the fifth's the man! I speak the truth;
    When Pistol lies, do this, and fig me, like
    The bragging Spaniard.
    3145Falstaff
    What, is the old king dead?
    Pistol
    As nail in door. The things I speak are just.
    Falstaff
    Away, Bardolph, saddle my horse! Master Robert Shallow, choose what office thou wilt in the land, 'tis thine. Pistol, I will 3150double charge thee with dignities.
    Bardolph
    O joyful day! I would not take a knighthood for my fortune.
    Pistol
    What, I do bring good news?
    3155Falstaff
    Carry Master Silence to bed. Master Shallow, my Lord Shallow, be what thou wilt: I am fortune's steward. Get on thy boots. We'll ride all night. O sweet Pistol! Away, Bardolph! Come Pistol, utter more to me, and withal devise something to do thyself good. Boot, boot, Master Shallow! I know the young 3160king is sick for me. Let us take any man's horses. The laws of England are at my commandment. Blessèd are they that have been my friends, and woe to my Lord Chief Justice!
    3165Pistol
    Let vultures vile seize on his lungs also!
    "Where is the life that late I led?" say they,
    Why here it is! Welcome these pleasant days!
    Exeunt.