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- Edition: Henry IV, Part 1
Henry IV, Part 1 (Modern)
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2374[4.2]
2375Enter Falstaff, Bardolph.
Bardolph, get thee before to Coventry; fill me a bottle of 2377sack. Our soldiers shall march through. We'll to 2378Sutton Coldfield tonight.
Will you give me money, captain?
Lay out, lay out.
This bottle makes an angel.
An if it do, take it for thy labor; an if it make twenty, 2383take them all; I'll answer the coinage. Bid my lieutenant Peto 2384meet me at town's end.
I will, captain. Farewell.
4.2.6.1Exit.
If I be not ashamed of my soldiers, I am a soused gurnet. 2387I have misused the king's press damnably. I have got in 2388exchange of one hundred and fifty soldiers three hundred and odd pounds. I press me 2390none but good householders, yeomen's sons, enquire me out 2391contracted bachelors, such as had been asked twice on the banns, 2392such a commodity of warm slaves as had as lief hear the 2393devil as a drum, such as fear the report of a caliver worse 2394than a struck fowl or a hurt wild duck. I pressed me none but 2395such toasts and butter, with hearts in their bellies no bigger than 2397pins' heads, and they have bought out their services; and 2398now my whole charge consists of ensigns, corporals, 2399lieutenants, gentlemen of companies -- slaves as ragged as Lazarus in 2400the painted cloth, where the glutton's dogs licked his sores -- and 2401such as indeed were never soldiers, but discarded unjust 2402servingmen, younger sons to younger brothers, revolted tapsters, 2403and ostlers trade-fallen, the cankers of a calm world and a long 2405peace, ten times more dishonorable-ragged than an old 2406faz'd ancient. And such have I to fill up the rooms of them as have 2407bought out their services, that you would think that I had a 2408hundred and fifty tattered prodigals lately come from 2409swine-keeping, from eating draff and husks. A mad fellow met me 2410on the way and told me I had unloaded all the gibbets 2411 and pressed the dead bodies. No eye hath seen such scarecrows. I'll 2413not march through Coventry with them, that's flat. Nay, and 2414the villains march wide betwixt the legs, as if they had gyves on, 2415for indeed I had the most of them out of prison. There's not a 2416shirt and a half in all my company; and the half-shirt is two 2417napkins tacked together and thrown over the shoulders like a 2418herald's coat without sleeves; and the shirt, to say the truth, 2420stolen from my host at Saint Albans, or the red-nose innkeeper of 2421Daventry. But that's all one; they'll find linen enough on every 2422hedge.
How now, blown Jack? How now, quilt?
What, Hal! How now, mad wag? What a devil dost thou in 2426Warwickshire? My good lord of Westmorland, I cry you mercy! 2427I thought your honor had already been at Shrewsbury.
Faith, Sir John, 'tis more than time that I were there, and 2430you too; but my powers are there already. The king, I can tell you, 2431looks for us all. We must away all night.
Tut, never fear me. I am as vigilant as a cat to steal cream.2434
I think to steal cream indeed, for thy theft hath 2436already made thee butter. But tell me, Jack, whose fellows are 2437these that come after?
Mine, Hal, mine.
I did never see such pitiful rascals.
Tut, tut, good enough to toss, food for powder, food 2441for powder. They'll fill a pit as well as better. Tush, man, mortal 2442men, mortal men.
Ay, but Sir John, methinks they are exceeding poor and 2444bare, too beggarly.
Faith, for their poverty, I know not where they had that, 2446and for their bareness, I am sure they never learned that of me.
No, I'll be sworn, unless you call three fingers in the ribs 2449bare. But sirrah, make haste. Percy is already in the field.
4.2.18.1 Exit.
What, is the king encamped?
He is, Sir John. I fear we shall stay too long.
Well, to the latter end of a fray
4.2.22And the beginning of a feast
4.2.23.1Exeunt.