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  • Title: The Merry Wives of Windsor (Folio 1, 1623)

  • Copyright Internet Shakespeare Editions. This text may be freely used for educational, non-proift purposes; for all other uses contact the Coordinating Editor.
    Author: William Shakespeare
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    The Merry Wives of Windsor (Folio 1, 1623)

    480Qui. I am glad he is so quiet: if he had bin through-
    ly moued, you should haue heard him so loud, and so me-
    lancholly: but notwithstanding man, Ile doe yoe your
    Master what good I can: and the very yea, & the no is, ye
    French Doctor my Master, (I may call him my Master,
    485looke you, for I keepe his house; and I wash, ring, brew,
    bake, scowre, dresse meat and drinke, make the beds, and
    doe all my selfe.)
    Simp. 'Tis a great charge to come vnder one bodies
    490Qui. Are you a-uis'd o'that? you shall finde it a great
    charge: and to be vp early, and down late: but notwith-
    standing, (to tell you in your eare, I wold haue no words
    of it) my Master himselfe is in loue with Mistris Anne
    Page: but notwithstanding that I know Ans mind, that's
    495neither heere nor there.
    Caius. You, Iack'Nape: giue-'a this Letter to Sir
    Hugh, by gar it is a shallenge: I will cut his troat in de
    Parke, and I will teach a scuruy Iack-a-nape Priest to
    meddle, or make:--- you may be gon: it is not good
    500you tarry here: by gar I will cut all his two stones: by
    gar, he shall not haue a stone to throw at his dogge.
    Qui. Alas: he speakes but for his friend.
    Caius. It is no matter 'a ver dat: do not you tell-a-me
    dat I shall haue Anne Page for my selfe? by gar, I vill
    505kill de Iack-Priest: and I haue appointed mine Host of
    de Iarteer to measure our weapon: by gar, I wil my selfe
    haue Anne Page.
    Qui. Sir, the maid loues you, and all shall bee well:
    We must giue folkes leaue to prate: what the good-ier.
    510 Caius. Rugby, come to the Court with me: by gar, if
    I haue not Anne Page, I shall turne your head out of my
    dore: follow my heeles, Rugby.
    Qui. You shall haue An-fooles head of your owne:
    No, I know Ans mind for that: neuer a woman in Wind-
    515sor knowes more of Ans minde then I doe, nor can doe
    more then I doe with her, I thanke heauen.
    Fenton. Who's with in there, hoa?
    Qui. Who's there, I troa? Come neere the house I
    pray you.
    520Fen. How now (good woman) how dost thou?
    Qui. The better that it pleases your good Worship
    to aske?
    Fen. What newes? how do's pretty Mistris Anne?
    Qui. In truth Sir, and shee is pretty, and honest, and
    525gentle, and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by
    the way, I praise heauen for it.
    Fen. Shall I doe any good thinkst thou? shall I not
    loose my suit?
    Qui. Troth Sir, all is in his hands aboue: but not-
    530withstanding (Master Fenton) Ile be sworne on a booke
    shee loues you: haue not your Worship a wart aboue
    your eye?
    Fen. Yes marry haue I, what of that?
    Qui. Wel, thereby hangs a tale: good faith, it is such
    535another Nan; (but (I detest) an honest maid as euer
    broke bread: wee had an howres talke of that wart; I
    shall neuer laugh but in that maids company: but (in-
    deed) shee is giuen too much to Allicholy and musing:
    but for you --- well --- goe too ---
    540Fen. Well: I shall see her to day: hold, there's mo-
    ney for thee: Let mee haue thy voice in my behalfe: if
    thou seest her before me, commend me. ---
    Qui. Will I? I faith that wee will: And I will tell
    your Worship more of the Wart, the next time we haue
    545confidence, and of other wooers.
    Fen. Well, fare-well, I am in great haste now.
    Qui. Fare-well to your Worship: truely an honest
    Gentleman: but Anne loues hiim not: for I know Ans
    minde as well as another do's: out vpon't: what haue I
    550forgot. Exit.

    Actus Secundus. Scoena Prima.

    Enter Mistris Page, Mistris Ford, Master Page, Master
    Ford, Pistoll, Nim, Quickly, Host, Shallow.

    Mist. Page. What, haue scap'd Loue-letters in the
    555holly-day-time of my beauty, and am I now a subiect
    for them? let me see?

    Aske me no reason why I loue you, for though Loue vse Rea-
    son for his precisian, hee admits him not for his Counsailour:
    you are not yong, no more am I: goe to then, there's simpathie:
    560you are merry, so am I: ha, ha, then there's more simpathie:
    you loue sacke, and so do I: would you desire better simpathie?
    Let it suffice thee (Mistris Page) at the least if the Loue of
    Souldier can suffice, that I loue thee: I will not say pitty mee,
    'tis not a Souldier-like phrase; but I say, loue me:
    565 By me, thine owne true Knight, by day or night:
    Or any kinde of light, with all his might,
    For thee to fight. Iohn Falstaffe.
    What a Herod of Iurie is this? O wicked, wicked world:
    One that is well-nye worne to peeces with age
    570To show himselfe a yong Gallant? What an vnwaied
    Behauiour hath this Flemish drunkard pickt (with
    The Deuills name) out of my conuersation, that he dares
    In this manner assay me? why, hee hath not beene thrice
    In my Company: what should I say to him? I was then
    575Frugall of my mirth: (heauen forgiue mee:) why Ile
    Exhibit a Bill in the Parliament for the putting downe
    of men: how shall I be reueng'd on him? for reueng'd I
    will be? as sure as his guts are made of puddings.
    Mis Ford. Mistris Page, trust me, I was going to your
    Mis Page. And trust me, I was comming to you: you
    looke very ill.
    Mis. Ford. Nay, Ile nere beleeee that; I haue to shew
    to the contrary.
    585Mis. Page. 'Faith but you doe in my minde.
    Mis. Ford. Well: I doe then: yet I say, I could shew
    you to the contrary: O Mistris Page, giue mee some
    Mis. Page. What's the matter, woman?
    590Mi. Ford. O woman: if it were not for one trifling re-
    spect, I could come to such honour.
    Mi. Page. Hang the trifle (woman) take the honour:
    what is it? dispence with trifles: what is it?
    Mi. Ford. If I would but goe to hell, for an eternall
    595moment, or so: I could be knighted.
    Mi. Page. What thou liest? Sir Alice Ford? these
    Knights will hacke, and so thou shouldst not alter the ar-
    ticle of thy Gentry.
    Mi. Ford. Wee burne day-light: heere, read, read:
    600perceiue how I might bee knighted, I shall thinke the
    worse of fat men, as long as I haue an eye to make diffe-
    rence of mens liking: and yet hee would not sweare: