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- Edition: Twelfth Night
Twelfth Night (Modern)
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- Texts of this edition
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21525.1
2153Enter Clown [with a letter] and Fabian.
2154Fabian
Now as thou lov'st me, let me see his letter.
2155Clown
Good Master Fabian, grant me another request.
2156Fabian
Anything.
2157Clown
Do not desire to see this letter.
2158Fabian
This is to give a dog, and in recompense desire 2159my dog again.
2160Enter Orsino, Viola [as Cesario], Curio, and Lords.
2161Orsino
Belong you to the Lady Olivia, friends?
2162Clown
Ay, sir, we are some of her trappings.
2163Orsino
I know thee well. How dost thou, my good 2164fellow?
2165Clown
Truly, sir, the better for my foes, and the worse 2166for my friends.
2167Orsino
Just the contrary; the better for thy friends.
2168Clown
No, sir, the worse.
2169Orsino
How can that be?
2170Clown
Marry, sir, they praise me, and make an ass of me. 2171Now, my foes tell me plainly I am an ass, so that by my 2172foes, sir, I profit in the knowledge of myself, and by my 2173friends I am abused. So that, conclusions to be as kisses, if 2174your four negatives make your two affirmatives, why 2175then, the worse for my friends and the better for my foes.
2176Orsino
Why, this is excellent.
2177Clown
By my troth, sir, no; though it please you to be 2178one of my friends.
2179Orsino
Thou shalt not be the worse for me; there's gold.
[Orsino gives him a gold coin.]
2180Clown
But that it would be double-dealing, sir, I would 2181you could make it another.
2182Orsino
O you give me ill counsel.
2183Clown
Put your grace in your pocket, sir, for this once, 2184and let your flesh and blood obey it.
2185Orsino
Well, I will be so much a sinner to be a double-2186dealer; there's another. [Orsino gives him another gold coin.]
2187Clown
Primo, secundo, tertio is a good play; and the old 2188saying is, "the third pays for all"; the triplex, sir, is a good 2189tripping measure; or the bells of Saint Bennet, sir, may put 2190you in mind: one, two, three.
2191Orsino
You can fool no more money out of me at this 2192throw. If you will let your lady know I am here to speak 2193with her, and bring her along with you, it may awake my 2194bounty further.
2195Clown
Marry, sir, lullaby to your bounty till I come 2196again. I go, sir, but I would not have you to think that 2197my desire of having is the sin of covetousness--but as 2198you say, sir, let your bounty take a nap; I will awake it 2199anon.
Exit.
2201Viola
Here comes the man, sir, that did rescue me.
2202Orsino
That face of his I do remember well;
2203Yet when I saw it last, it was besmeared
2204As black as Vulcan in the smoke of war.
2205A baubling vessel was he captain of,
2206For shallow draught and bulk, unprizable;
2207With which such scatheful grapple did he make
2208With the most noble bottom of our fleet,
2209That very envy, and the tongue of loss,
2210Cried fame and honor on him. What's the matter?
2211First Officer
Orsino, this is that Antonio
2212That took the Phoenix, and her fraught from Candy,
2213And this is he that did the Tiger board
2214When your young nephew Titus lost his leg.
2215Here in the streets, desperate of shame and state,
2216In private brabble did we apprehend him.
2217Viola
He did me kindness, sir, drew on my side,
2218But in conclusion put strange speech upon me;
2219I know not what 'twas, but distraction.
2220Orsino
Notable pirate, thou saltwater thief,
2221What foolish boldness brought thee to their mercies
2222Whom thou, in terms so bloody and so dear,
2223Hast made thine enemies?
2224Antonio
Orsino, noble sir,
2225Be pleased that I shake off these names you give me.
2226Antonio never yet was thief, or pirate,
2227Though I confess, on base and ground enough,
2228Orsino's enemy. A witchcraft drew me hither:
2229That most ingrateful boy there by your side
2230From the rude sea's enraged and foamy mouth
2231Did I redeem. A wrack past hope he was.
2232His life I gave him, and did thereto add
2233My love without retention or restraint,
2234All his in dedication. For his sake
2235Did I expose myself, pure for his love,
2236Into the danger of this adverse town;
2237Drew to defend him, when he was beset;
2238Where being apprehended, his false cunning,
2239Not meaning to partake with me in danger,
2240Taught him to face me out of his acquaintance,
2241And grew a twenty years' removèd thing
2242While one would wink; denied me mine own purse,
2243Which I had recommended to his use
2244Not half an hour before.
2245Viola
How can this be?
2246Orsino
When came he to this town?
2247Antonio
Today, my lord; and for three months before,
2248No int'rim, not a minute's vacancy,
2249Both day and night did we keep company.
2250Enter Olivia and Attendants.
2251Orsino
Here comes the countess, now heaven walks 2252on earth.
2253[To Antonio] But for thee, fellow--fellow, thy words are madness.
2254Three months this youth hath tended upon me;
2255But more of that anon. [To Officers] Take him aside.
2256Olivia
What would my lord, but that he may not have,
2257Wherein Olivia may seem serviceable?
2258[To Viola] Cesario, you do not keep promise with me.
77.1[Viola and Orsino speak at the same time.]
2259Viola
Madam--
2260Orsino
Gracious Olivia--
2261Olivia
What do you say, Cesario? [Silencing Orsino] Good my lord.
2262Viola
My lord would speak, my duty hushes me.
2263Olivia
If it be aught to the old tune, my lord,
2264It is as fat and fulsome to mine ear
2265As howling after music.
2266Orsino
Still so cruel?
2267Olivia
Still so constant, lord.
2268Orsino
What, to perverseness? You uncivil lady,
2269To whose ingrate and unauspicious altars
2270My soul the faithfull'st off'rings have breathed out
2271That e'er devotion tendered! What shall I do?
2272Olivia
Even what it please my lord, that shall become him
2273Orsino
Why should I not, had I the heart to do it,
2274Like to th'Egyptian thief at point of death,
2275Kill what I love?--a savage jealousy,
2276That sometime savors nobly. But hear me this:
2277Since you to non-regardance cast my faith,
2278And that I partly know the instrument
2279That screws me from my true place in your favor,
2280Live you the marble-breasted tyrant still.
2281But [Seizing Viola] this your minion, whom I know you love,
2282And whom, by heaven, I swear I tender dearly,
2283Him will I tear out of that cruel eye
2284Where he sits crownèd in his master's spite.
2285Come, boy, with me; my thoughts are ripe in mischief.
2286I'll sacrifice the lamb that I do love,
2287To spite a raven's heart within a dove. [He moves to exit with Viola.]
2288Viola
And I most jocund, apt, and willingly,
2289To do you rest, a thousand deaths would die.
2290Olivia
Where goes Cesario?
2291Viola
After him I love
2292More than I love these eyes, more than my life,
2293More, by all mores, than e'er I shall love wife.
2294If I do feign, you witnesses above
2295Punish my life, for tainting of my love.
2296Olivia
Ay me, detested! How am I beguiled!
2297Viola
Who does beguile you? Who does do you wrong?
2298Olivia
Hast thou forgot thyself? Is it so long?
2299Call forth the holy father. [Exit an Attendant.]
2300Orsino
[To Cesario] Come, away.
2301Olivia
Whither, my lord? Cesario, husband, stay!
2302Orsino
Husband?
2303Olivia
Ay, husband. Can he that deny?
2304Orsino
Her husband, sirrah?
2305Viola
No, my lord, not I.
2306Olivia
Alas, it is the baseness of thy fear
2307That makes thee strangle thy propriety.
2308Fear not, Cesario, take thy fortunes up,
2309Be that thou know'st thou art, and then thou art
2310As great as that thou fear'st.
2312O welcome, father!
2313Father, I charge thee by thy reverence
2314Here to unfold (though lately we intended
2315To keep in darkness what occasion now
2316Reveals before 'tis ripe) what thou dost know
2317Hath newly passed between this youth and me.
2318Priest
A contract of eternal bond of love,
2319Confirmed by mutual joinder of your hands,
2320Attested by the holy close of lips,
2321Strengthened by interchangement of your rings,
2322And all the ceremony of this compact
2323Sealed in my function, by my testimony;
2324Since when, my watch hath told me, toward my grave
2325I have travelled but two hours.
2326Orsino
[To Viola] O thou dissembling cub! What wilt thou be
2327When time hath sowed a grizzle on thy case?
2328Or will not else thy craft so quickly grow
2329That thine own trip shall be thine overthrow?
2330Farewell, and take her, but direct thy feet
2331Where thou and I henceforth may never meet.
2332Viola
My lord, I do protest--
2333Olivia
O, do not swear,
2334Hold little faith, though thou hast too much fear.
2336Sir Andrew
For the love of God, a surgeon! Send one 2337presently to Sir Toby.
2338Olivia
What's the matter?
2339Sir Andrew
He's broke my head across, and has given Sir 2340Toby a bloody coxcomb too. For the love of God, your 2341help! I had rather than forty pound I were at home.
2342Olivia
Who has done this, Sir Andrew?
2343Sir Andrew
The count's gentleman, one Cesario. We took 2344him for a coward, but he's the very devil incardinate.
2345Orsino
My gentleman Cesario?
2346Sir Andrew
[Seeing Viola] [and recoiling in fear]. 'Od's lifelings, here he is! [To her] You broke my head 2347for nothing; and that that I did, I was set on to do't by Sir 2348Toby.
2349Viola
Why do you speak to me? I never hurt you.
2350You drew your sword upon me without cause,
2351But I bespake you fair, and hurt you not.
2353Sir Andrew
If a bloody coxcomb be a hurt, you have hurt 2354me; I think you set nothing by a bloody coxcomb. 2355Here comes Sir Toby halting; you shall hear more. But if 2356he had not been in drink, he would have tickled you 2357othergates than he did.
2358Orsino
How now, gentleman? How is't with you?
2359Sir Toby
That's all one, he's hurt me, and there's th'end on't. 2360[To Clown] Sot, didst see Dick Surgeon, sot?
2361Clown
Oh, he's drunk, Sir Toby, an hour agone; his eyes 2362were set at eight i'th'morning.
2363Sir Toby
Then he's a rogue, and a passy-measures pavan. I 2364hate a drunken rogue.
2365Olivia
Away with him! Who hath made this havoc2366with them?
2367Sir Andrew
I'll help you, Sir Toby, because we'll be dressed 2368together.
2369Sir Toby
Will you help? An ass-head, and a coxcomb, and 2370a knave? A thin-faced knave, a gull!
2371Olivia
Get him to bed, and let his hurt be looked to.
165.1[Exeunt Sir Toby and Sir Andrew led off by Clown and Fabian.]
2373Sebastian
I am sorry, madam, I have hurt your kinsman;
2374But had it been the brother of my blood,
2375I must have done no less with wit and safety.
2376You throw a strange regard upon me, and by that
2377I do perceive it hath offended you.
2378Pardon me, sweet one, even for the vows
2379We made each other but so late ago.
2380Orsino
One face, one voice, one habit, and two persons:
2381A natural perspective, that is, and is not!
2382Sebastian
Antonio! Oh, my dear Antonio,
2383How have the hours racked and tortured me
2384Since I have lost thee!
2385Antonio
Sebastian, are you?
2386Sebastian
Fear'st thou that, Antonio?
2387Antonio
How have you made division of yourself?
2388An apple cleft in two is not more twin
2390Olivia
Most wonderful.
2391Sebastian
[Seeing Viola] Do I stand there? I never had a brother;
2392Nor can there be that deity in my nature
2393Of here and everywhere. I had a sister,
2394Whom the blind waves and surges have devoured.
2395Of charity, what kin are you to me?
2397Viola
Of Messaline. Sebastian was my father.
2398Such a Sebastian was my brother too;
2399So went he suited to his watery tomb.
2400If spirits can assume both form and suit,
2401You come to fright us.
2402Sebastian
A spirit I am indeed,
2403But am in that dimension grossly clad
2404Which from the womb I did participate.
2405Were you a woman, as the rest goes even,
2406I should my tears let fall upon your cheek,
2407And say, "Thrice welcome, drownèd Viola."
2408Viola
My father had a mole upon his brow.
2409Sebastian
And so had mine.
2410Viola
And died that day when Viola from her birth
2411Had numbered thirteen years.
2412Sebastian
Oh, that record is lively in my soul.
2413He finishèd indeed his mortal act
2414That day that made my sister thirteen years.
2415Viola
If nothing lets to make us happy both,
2416But this my masculine usurped attire,
2417Do not embrace me, till each circumstance
2418Of place, time, fortune, do cohere and jump
2419That I am Viola; which to confirm,
2420I'll bring you to a captain in this town,
2421Where lie my maiden weeds, by whose gentle help
2422I was preserved to serve this noble count.
2423All the occurrence of my fortune since
2424Hath been between this lady and this lord.
2425Sebastian
[To Olivia] So comes it, lady, you have been mistook.
2426But nature to her bias drew in that.
2427You would have been contracted to a maid;
2428Nor are you therein, by my life, deceived:
2429You are betrothed both to a maid and man.
2430Orsino
[To Olivia] Be not amazed, right noble is his blood.
2431If this be so--as yet the glass seems true--
2432I shall have share in this most happy wrack.
And all those sayings will I overswear,
2439Orsino
Give me thy hand,
The captain that did bring me first on shore
He shall enlarge him. Fetch Malvolio hither--
Truly, madam, he holds Beelzebub at the stave's end as 2453well as a man in his case may do. He's here writ a letter to 2454you. I should have given't you today morning, but as a 2455madman's epistles are no gospels, so it skills not much 2456when they are delivered.
Open't, and read it.
Look then to be well edified, when the fool 2459delivers the madman. [Reading madly]
"By the Lord, madam--"
How now, art thou mad?
No, madam, I do but read madness. An your 2462ladyship will have it as it ought to be, you must allow 2463vox.
Prithee, read i'thy right wits.
So I do, madonna. But to read his right wits is to 2466read thus. Therefore perpend, my princess, and give 2467ear.
247.1[Clown prepares to read madly again; Olivia seizes the letter and gives it to Fabian.]
[To Fabian] Read it you, sirrah.
(Reads.)
"By the Lord, madam, you wrong me, and 2470the world shall know it. Though you have put me into 2471darkness, and given your drunken cousin rule over me, 2472yet have I the benefit of my senses as well as your 2473ladyship. I have your own letter, that induced me to the 2474semblance I put on; with the which I doubt not but to 2475do myself much right, or you much shame. Think of 2476me as you please. I leave my duty a little unthought of, 2477and speak out of my injury.
The madly-used Malvolio."
Did he write this?
Ay, madam.
This savors not much of distraction.
See him delivered, Fabian, bring him hither.
253.1[Exit Fabian.]
Madam, I am most apt t'embrace your offer.
2493Olivia
A sister, you are she!
Is this the madman?
2496Olivia
Ay, my lord, this same.
266[To Malvolio] How now, Malvolio?
2497Malvolio
Madam, you have done me wrong,
2499Olivia
Have I, Malvolio? No.
Lady, you have. Pray you peruse that letter.
Alas, Malvolio, this is not my writing,
2526Fabian
Good madam, hear me speak,
[To Malvolio] Alas, poor fool, how have they baffled thee!
[To Malvolio] Why, "Some are born great, some achieve 2542greatness, and some have greatness thrown upon them." I 2543was one, sir, in this interlude, one Sir Topaz, sir; but that's 2544all one. "By the Lord, fool, I am not mad!" But do you 2545remember: "Madam, why laugh you at such a barren rascal? 2546An you smile not, he's gagged." And thus the whirligig 2547of time brings in his revenges.
I'll be revenged on the whole pack of you!
309.1[Exit.]
He hath been most notoriously abused.
[To Fabian] Pursue him, and entreat him to a peace. [Exit Fabian.]
319.1Exeunt [all except Clown].
2559(Sings)
When that I was and a little tiny boy,
339.1[Exit.]