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  • Title: The Famous Victories of Henry V (Modern)
  • Editor: Mathew Martin
  • Performance editor: Peter Cockett

  • Copyright Queen's Men Editions. This text may be freely used for educational, non-profit purposes; for all other uses contact the Editor.
    Author: Anonymous
    Editor: Mathew Martin
    Peer Reviewed

    The Famous Victories of Henry V (Modern)

    [Scene 2] [Video Sc.2]
    Enter John Cobbler, Robin Pewterer, Lawrence Costermonger.
    105John
    All is well here, all is well, masters.
    Robin
    How say you, neighbor John Cobbler?
    [John]
    I think it best that my neighbor, Robin Pewterer, went to Pudding Lane end, and we will watch here at Billingsgate Ward. 110How say you, neighbor Robin, how like you this?
    Robin
    Marry, well, neighbors. I care not much if I go to Pudding Lane's end. But, neighbors, an you hear any ado about me, make haste. And if I hear any ado about you, 115I will come to you.
    Exit Robin.
    Lawrence
    Neighbor, what news hear you of the young prince?
    John
    Marry, neighbor, I hear say he is a toward young prince, for if he meet any by the highway, 120he will not let to talk with him. I dare not call him thief, but sure he is one of these taking fellows.
    Lawrence
    Indeed, neighbor, I hear say he is as lively a young prince as ever was.
    John
    Ay, and I hear say, if he use it long, 125his father will cut him off from the crown. But, neighbor, say nothing of that.
    Lawrence
    No, no, neighbor, I warrant you.
    John
    Neighbor, methinks you begin to sleep. If you will, we will sit down, 130for I think it is about midnight.
    Lawrence
    Marry, content, neighbor, let us sleep.
    [John and Lawrence lie down and sleep.]
    Enter Derrick roving.
    Derrick
    Whoa! whoa there! whoa there!
    Exit Derrick.
    135Enter Robin.
    Robin
    O neighbors, what mean you to sleep, and such ado in the streets?
    John and Lawrence
    How now, neighbor, what's the matter?
    Enter Derrick again.
    140Derrick
    Whoa there! whoa there! whoa there!
    John
    Why, what ail'st thou? Here is no horses.
    Derrick
    Oh, alas, man, I am robbed! Whoa there, whoa there!
    Robin
    Hold him, neighbor Cobbler.
    [John seizes Derrick.]
    Why, I see thou art a plain clown.
    145Derrick
    Am I a clown? Zounds, masters, do clowns go in silk apparel? I am sure all we gentlemen clowns in Kent scant go so well. Zounds, you know clowns very well. [To John] Hear you, are you Master Constable? An you be, speak, 150for I will not take it at his [Derrick points to Robin] hands.
    John
    Faith, I am not Master Constable, but I am one of his bade officers, for he is not here.
    Derrick
    Is not Master Constable here? Well, it is no matter. I'll have the law at his hands.
    [Derrick draws his sword.]
    155John
    Nay, I pray you, do not take the law of us.
    Derrick
    Well, you are one of his beastly officers.
    John
    I am one of his bade officers.
    Derrick
    Why, then, I charge thee look to him.
    John
    Nay, but hear ye, sir. You seem to be an honest 160fellow, and we are poor men, and now 'tis night, and we would be loth to have anything ado. Therefore, I pray thee, put it up.
    [Derrick sheathes his sword.]
    Derrick
    First, thou sayest true, I am an honest fellow--and a proper, handsome fellow too--165and you seem to be poor men. Therefore I care not greatly; nay, I am quickly pacified. But, an you chance to spy the thief, I pray you lay hold on him.
    Robin
    Yes, that we will, I warrant you.
    170Derrick
    [Aside] 'Tis a wonderful thing to see how glad the knave is, now I have forgiven him.
    John
    [To Lawrence and Robin] Neighbors, do ye look about you. How now, who's there?
    Enter the Thief [Cutbert Cutter].
    175Cutbert Cutter
    Here is a good fellow. I pray you, which is the way to the old tavern in Eastcheap?
    Derrick
    Whoop hollo! Now, Gadshill, knowest thou me?
    Cutbert Cutter
    I know thee for an ass.
    Derrick
    And I know thee for a taking fellow, 180upon Gad's Hill in Kent. A bots light upon ye!
    Cutbert Cutter
    The whoreson villain would be knocked!
    [Cutbert draws his sword.]
    Derrick
    Masters -- villain! -- an ye be men, stand to him and take his weapon from him. Let him not pass you.
    185John
    My friend, what make you abroad now? It is too late to walk now.
    Cutbert Cutter
    It is not too late for true men to walk.
    Lawrence
    We know thee not to be a true man.
    [John, Robin, and Lawrence seize Cutbert.]
    Cutbert Cutter
    Why, what do you mean to do with me? 190Zounds, I am one of the king's liege people.
    Derrick
    Hear you, sir, are you one of the king's liege people?
    Cutbert Cutter
    Ay, marry, am I, sir. What say you to it?
    Derrick
    Marry, sir, I say you are one of the king's filching people.
    John
    Come, come, let's have him away.
    195Cutbert Cutter
    Why, what have I done?
    Robin
    Thou hast robbed a poor fellow and taken away his goods from him.
    Cutbert Cutter
    I never saw him before.
    Derrick
    Masters, who comes here?
    200Enter the Vintner's Boy.
    How now, Goodman Cobbler?
    John
    How now, Robert, what makes thou abroad at this time of night?
    Marry, I have been at the Counter. 205I can tell such news as never you have heard the like.
    John
    What is that, Robert? What is the matter?
    Why, this night about two hours ago, there came the young prince and three or four more of his companions and called for wine good store, and then they sent for a 210noise of musicians and were very merry for the space of an hour. Then, whether their music liked them not or whether they had drunk too much wine or no, I cannot tell, but our pots flew against the walls, and then they drew their swords and went into the street and fought, and 215some took one part and some took another, but for the space of half an hour there was such a bloody fray as passeth, and none could part them until such time as the mayor and sheriff were sent for, and then at the last with much ado they took them, and so the young prince was carried 220to the Counter. And then about one hour after, there came a messenger from the court in all haste from the king for my lord mayor and the sheriff, but for what cause I know not.
    John
    Here is news indeed, Robert.
    225Lawrence
    Marry, neighbor, this news is strange indeed. I think it best, neighbor, to rid our hands of this fellow first.
    Cutbert Cutter
    What mean you to do with me?
    John
    We mean to carry you to the prison, and there 230to remain 'til the sessions day.
    Cutbert Cutter
    Then, I pray you, let me go to the prison where my master is.
    John
    Nay, thou must go to the country prison, to Newgate. Therefore, come away.
    235Cutbert Cutter
    [To Derrick] I prithee be good to me, honest fellow.
    Derrick
    Ay, marry will I, I'll be very charitable to thee, for I will never leave thee 'til I see thee on the gallows.
    Exeunt.