7. Excerpt from The Coxcomb, by John Fletcher and Francis Beaumont (1608-1610)

[In this passage from John Fletcher and Francis Beaumont's The Coxcomb, dating from the same period as Cymbeline, the authors employ several of the same motifs that occur when Imogen encounters her brothers in the woods and serves them as a kind of housekeeper. Both women may wish for a simple rural life and associate it with greater contentment than can be found in the court or in the city, but as is often the case, the tone and genre dictate different outcomes: appropriate to the romantic pastoral mood of Cymbeline, Imogen—despite presumably never in her life having had to cook or clean as a princess at court—is naturally gifted at housework, while Viola's lack of experience with domestic labor in this more realistic and urban-centered comedy produces a far more humorous outcome.]

From Act 3

VIOLA
Woman, they say, was only made of man.
Methinks 'tis strange they should be so unlike.
It may be all the best was cut away
To make the woman, and the nought{worthless or morally bad} was left
Behind with him. I'll sit me down and weep.
All things have cast me from 'em but the earth;
The evening comes, and every little flower
Droops now, as well as I.

Enter two milkmaids with pails, [apart]

NAN
Good Madge, let's rest a little. By my troth, I am weary! This new pail is a plaguey heavy one. Would Tom were hanged for choosing it! 'Tis{Tom is} the untowardest{most dim-witted} fool in a country.

MADGE
With all my heart, and I thank you too, Nan.

VIOLA [apart]
What true contented happiness dwells here
More than in cities? Would to God my father
Had lived like one of these and bred me up
To milk and do as they do; methinks
'Tis a life that I would choose if I were now
To tell my time again, above a prince's{a term for a ruler of either sex}. – [to Nan and Madge] Maids, for charity,
Give a poor wench{maid} one draft of milk
That weariness and hunger have nigh famished.

NAN
If I had but one cow's milk in all the world, you should have some on't{of it}. There, drink more. The cheese shall pay for it. -- Alas, poor heart! She's dry{parched}.

MADGE
Do you dwell hereabouts?

VIOLA
No, would I did.

NAN
Madge, if she do not look like my cousin Sue o'th' more{greater} lane as one thing can look like another—

MADGE
Nay, Sue has a hazel eye. I know Sue well and, by your leave, not so trim{attractive} a body, neither. This is a feat-bodied{elegant-bodied} thing, I tell you.

NAN
She laces close{cinches her waist in tightly with laces}, by the mass, I warrant you, and so does Sue, too.

VIOLA
I thank you for your gentleness, fair maids.

NAN
Drink again, pray thee.

VIOLA
I am satisfied, and heaven reward thee for't, yet thus far I will compel you to accept these trifles, toys{trinkets} only that express my thanks, for greater worth I'm sure they have not in them. Indeed, you shall; I found 'em as I came.

NAN [to Madge]
Madge, look you here, Madge.

MADGE [to Nan]
Nay, I have as fine a one as you. Mine's all gold and painted, and precious stone in't; I warrant it cost a crown, wench.

NAN [to Madge]
But mine is the most sumptuous one that e'er I saw.

VIOLA
One favor you must do me more, for you are well acquainted here.

NAN
Indeed, we'll do you any kindness, sister.

VIOLA
Only to send me to some honest place where I may find a service.

NAN [to Madge]
Uds me{God bless me}, our Dorothy went away but last week, and I know my mistress wants a maid, and why may she not be placed there? This is a likely wench, I tell you truly, and a good wench, I warrant her.

MADGE[to Nan]
And 'tis a hard case if we that have served four years apiece cannot bring in one servant. We will prefer her. – [to Viola] Hark you, sister. Pray, what's your name?

VIOLA
Melvia.

NAN
A feat{elegant} name, i'faith. And can you milk a cow? And make a merribowk{posset}? That's nothing.

VIOLA
I shall learn quickly.

NAN
And dress a house with flowers? And serve a pig? This you must do, for we deal{work} in the dairy. And make a bed or two?

VIOLA
I hope I shall.

NAN
But be sure to keep the men out. They will mar all that you make else; I know that by myself, for I have been so toused{ruffled in horseplay} among 'em in my days. Come, you shall e'en home{go home together} with us and be our fellow{coworker}. Our house is so honest, and we serve a very good woman, and a gentlewoman, and we live as merrily and dance a good days after evensong. Our wake{festival} shall be on Sunday. Do you know what a wake is? We have mighty cheer then, and such a coil{noisy chaos}, 'twould bless ye. You must not be so bashful; you'll spoil all.

MADGE
Let's home, for God's sake. My mistress thinks by this time we are lost. Come, we'll have a care of you, I warrant you; but you must tell my mistress where you were born, and everything that belongs{pertains} to you, and the strangest things you can devise, for she loves those extremely. 'Tis no matter whether they be true or no; she's not so scrupulous. You must be our sister and love us best and tell us everything, and when cold weather comes, we'll lie together. Will you do this?

VIOLA
Yes.

NAN
Then home again, a{in} God's name. Can you go apace{quickly}?

VIOLA
I warrant you.

Exeunt

***

Act 4

Enter Mother, Viola, and 2 Milkmaids [Madge and Nan]

MOTHER
Is this the wench{maid}? You have brought me some catch, I warrant.
How injuringly she looks upon the matter!

MADGE
Yes, forsooth{truly}. This is the maiden.

MOTHER
Come hither. Would you serve?

VIOLA
If it shalt please you to accept my service, I hope I shall do something that shall like{please} you, though it be but truth and often praying for you.

MOTHER
You are very curious{cautious or fastidious} of your hand, methinks,
You preserve it so with gloves. Let me see it.
Ay, marry, here's a hand of marchpane{marzipan; i.e., overly fussy} wenches:
This pretty palm never knew sorrow yet.
How soft it is, I warrant you, and supple{tender}!
O' my word, this is fitter for a pocket to filch withal
Than to work. I fear me, little one,
You are no better than you should be; go to{disapproving interjection}.

VIOLA
My conscience yet is but one witness to me,
And that, heaven knows, is of mine innocence.
'Tis true, I must confess, with shame enough,
The time that I have led yet never taught me
What 'twas to break a sleep or to be weary.

MOTHER
You can say well; if you be mine, wench, you must do well too, for words are but slow workers; yet so much hope I have of you that I'll take you so{so long as} you'll be diligent and do your duty.

***

Enter Mother beating Viola; Alexander with a broken glass

MOTHER
I'll make thee have more care!

VIOLA
Good mistress, pardon me!

MOTHER
Thou't ne'er be good, I warrant thee. Can your fine fingers hold no faster{more securely}?

VIOLA
Indeed, it was against my will.

MOTHER
Alexander, let's see the glass. As I am true cursened{christened} woman, it is one of the crystal glasses my cousin sent me, and the baggage{strumpet} hath broke it where it cannot be mended. Alexander, can Humphrey mend this, think you?

ALEXANDER
No, truly, this will ne'er be mended.

VIOLA
Truly, I meant but to wash it for the gentlewoman that is sick above, and, shaking out the water, knocked it against the pail's side.

MOTHER
Did you so? Be sure I'll stop{dock your wages for} it. 'Twill make a good gap in your quarter's wages, can tell you.

VIOLA
I pray forgive me, and let me have no wages this first quarter.

MOTHER
Go, whimling{"A miserable or insignificant creature." OED}, and fetch two or three grating loaves out of the kitchen to make gingerbread of. Exit Viola
[to Alexander] 'Tis{Viola is} such an untoward{dimwitted} thing.

ALEXANDER
She's somewhat simple indeed. She knew not what a kimnel{tub used in the kitchen for food preparation} was. She wants good nurture mightily.

MOTHER
My son tells me, Alexander, that this young widow means to sojourn here. She offers largely{generously} for her board. I may offer her good cheer. Prithee, make a step i'th' morning down to the parsonage for some pigeons. – [to Viola, within] What, are you mad there? What noise is that? Are you at bowls{playing a game of bowls} within? Why do you whine?

Enter Viola, weeping

VIOLA
I have done another fault. I beseech you, sweet mistress, forgive me.

MOTHER
What's the matter?

VIOLA
As I was reaching for the bread that lay upon the shelf, I have thrown down the minced meat that should have made the pies tomorrow.

MOTHER
Get thee out of my house, thou filthy, destroying harlot, thou! I'll not keep thee an hour longer.

VIOLA
Good mistress, beat me rather for my fault as much as it deserves. I do not know whither to go.

MOTHER
No, I warrant thee, out of my doors.

VIOLA
Indeed, I'll mend{improve}. – [to Alexander] I pray, speak you for me.

ALEXANDER
If thou hadst hurled down anything but the pie meat, I would have spoke for thee, but I cannot find in my heart now.

MOTHER
Art thou here yet? I think I must have an officer to thrust thee out of my doors, must I?

VIOLA
Why, you may stop this in my wages{dock my wages for this}, too.
For God's sake, do. I'll fine myself this year,
And let me stay.

MOTHER
Thou't spoil ten times as much. I'll cudgel thee out of my doors.

VIOLA
I am assured you are more merciful
Than thus to beat me and discharge me too.

MOTHER
Dost thou dispute with me? Alexander, carry the prating hilding{good-for-nothing} forth.

VIOLA
Good mistress, hear me. I have here a jewel
My mother left me, and 'tis something worth;
Receive it, and when all my faults together
Come to the worth of that, then turn me forth.
'Till then, I pray you keep me.

MOTHER
What jiggumbob have we here? Pray god you have not pilfered this somewhere. Th'art such a puling{whining} thing. Wipe your eyes and rise, go your ways. -- Alexander, bid the cook mince some more meat. – [to Viola] Come and get you to bed quickly that you may up betime{early} i'th' morning a-milking, or you and I shall fall out worse yet.