633[2.1]
634Enter a Carrier with a lantern in his hand.
Heigh-ho! An it be not four by the day, I'll be hanged. 636Charles's Wain is over the new chimney, and yet our horse not 637packed. What, ostler!
[Within] Anon, anon!
I prithee, Tom, beat Cut's saddle, put a few flocks in 640the point. Poor jade is wrung in the withers, out of all cess.
Peas and beans are as dank here as a dog, and that 644is the next way to give poor jades the bots. This house is turned 645upside down since Robin Ostler died.
Poor fellow never joyed since the price of oats rose; 648it was the death of him.
I think this be the most villainous house in all London 650road for fleas. I am stung like a tench.
Like a tench? By the mass, there is ne'er a king 652Christian could be better bit than I have been since the first cock.
Why, they will allow us ne'er a jordan, and then we 655leak in your chimney, and your chamber-lye breeds fleas like 656a loach.
What, ostler! Come away and be hanged, come away!
I have a gammon of bacon and two races of 660ginger to be delivered as far as Charing Cross.
God's body, the turkeys in my pannier are quite 662starved! What, ostler! A plague on thee, hast thou never an eye in thy 663head? Canst not hear? An 'twere not as good deed as drink to 664break the pate on thee, I am a very villain. Come, and be hanged! 665Hast no faith in thee?
Good morrow, carriers. What's o'clock?
I think it be two o'clock.
I prithee lend me thy lantern to see my gelding in the 670stable.
Nay, by god, soft. I know a trick worth two of that, 672i'faith.
[To Second Carrier] I pray thee, lend me thine.
Ay, when? Canst tell? "Lend me thy lantern," quoth he. 675Marry, I'll see thee hanged first.
Sirrah carrier, what time do you mean to come to 677London?
Time enough to go to bed with a candle, I warrant 679thee. Come, neighbor Mugs, we'll call up the gentlemen. 680They will along with company, for they have great charge.
2.1.19.1Exeunt [Carriers].
What ho, chamberlain!
"At hand, quoth pickpurse."
That's even as fair as "at hand, quoth the chamberlain," 686for thou variest no more from picking of purses than giving 687direction doth from laboring: thou layest the plot how.
Good morrow, Master Gadshill. It holds current that 690I told you yesternight. There's a franklin in the Weald of Kent 691hath brought three hundred marks with him in gold. I heard 692him tell it to one of his company last night at supper, a kind of 693auditor, one that hath abundance of charge too, god knows 694what. They are up already, and call for eggs and butter; they will 695away presently.
Sirrah, if they meet not with Saint Nicholas's clerks, 698I'll give thee this neck.
No, I'll none of it: I pray thee keep that for the 700hangman, for I know thou worshippest Saint Nicholas as truly as 701a man of falsehood may.
What talkest thou to me of the hangman? If I hang, I'll make 703a fat pair of gallows, for if I hang, old Sir John hangs with 704me, and thou knowest he is no starveling. Tut, there are other 705Trojans that thou dreamest not of, the which for sport's sake are 706content to do the profession some grace, that would, if matters 707should be looked into, for their own credit's sake make all whole. 709I am joined with no foot-landrakers, no 710long-staff sixpenny strikers, none of these mad mustachio purple-hued maltworms, 711but with nobility and tranquility, burgomasters and 712great oneyers; such as can hold in, such as will strike sooner than speak, 713and speak sooner than drink, and drink sooner than pray. And 714yet, zounds, I lie, for they pray continually to their saint the 715commonwealth; or rather, not pray to her, but prey on her; for 717they ride up and down on her and make her their boots.
What, the commonwealth their boots? Will she 719hold out water in foul way?
She will, she will, justice hath liquored her. We steal as 721in a castle, cocksure; we have the recipe of fernseed, we 722walk invisible.
Nay, by my faith, I think you are more beholding to 724the night than to fernseed for your walking invisible.
Give me thy hand; thou shalt have a share in our 728purchase, as I am a true man.
Nay, rather let me have it as you are a false thief.
Go to, "homo" is a common name to all men. Bid the ostler 732bring my gelding out of the stable. Farewell, you muddy knave.
2.1.32.1[Exeunt.]