Internet Shakespeare Editions

Editor: Helen Ostovich
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The Merry Wives of Windsor (Modern, Quarto)

[Scene 7]
Enter the Doctor [Caius] and his man [Rugby].
Caius
John Rugby, go look vit your eyes o'er de stall,1067.1 and spy an you can see de parson.
Rugby
Sir, I cannot tell whether he be there or no, but I see a great many coming.
Caius
Baille-moi ma rapière, John Rugaby; begar, de herring be not so dead as I shall make him.
1077.1 Enter Shallow, Page, my host [of the Garter], and Slender.
God save you, Master Doctor Caius.
Shallow
How do you, master doctor?
Host
God bless thee, my bully doctor, God bless thee!
Caius
Vat be all you, van, two, tree, come for, ah?
Host
Bully, to see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse, to see thee here, to see thee there, to see thee pass the punto, the stock, the reverse,1090 the distance, the montant. Is 'a dead, my Français? Is 'a dead, my Ethiopian? Hah? What says my galant? my Aesculapius? Is 'a dead, bully's tail, is 'a dead?
Caius
Begar, de priest be a coward jack-knave!1095 He dare not show his face.
Thou art a Castalian king urinal, Hector of Greece, my boy!
Shallow
He hath shown himself the wiser man, master doctor. Sir Hugh is a parson, and you a physician. You must go with me, master doctor.
Pardon, bully justice. -- A word, Monsieur Mockwater.
[They step away to talk aside.]
Caius
Mockwater, vat be dat?
That is, in our English tongue, valor, bully, valor!
Caius
Begar, den I have as much mockvater as de Inglish jack-dog knave.
He will clapperclaw thee tightly, bully.
Caius
Clapperclaw, vat be dat?
That is, he will make thee amends.
Caius
Begar, I do look he shall clapperclaw me den,1130 and I'll provoke him to do it, or let him wag. And moreover, bully -- [Returning to the others] but Master Page and Master Shallow and eke Cavaliero Slender, go you all over the fields to Frogmore?
[Aside to Host and Shallow] Sir Hugh is there, is he?
[Aside to Page and Shallow] He is there. Go see what humor he is in. I'll bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do well?
Shallow
We will do it, my host. -- Farewell, Master Doctor.
1138.1 Exeunt all but the Host and Doctor.
1140 Caius
Begar, I will kill de cowardly jack-priest. He is make a fool of moi.
Let him die, but first sheathe your impatience, throw cold water on your choler, come go with me through the fields to Frogmore, and I'll bring thee where Mistress Anne Page is a-feasting at a farm house,1145 and thou shalt wear her. Cried game! Said I well, bully?
Caius
Begar, excellent vel, and if you speak pour moi, I shall procure you de guests of all de gentlemen mes patients. Ay, begar, I sall.
For the which I'll be thy adversary to Mistress Anne Page. Said I well?
Caius
Ay, begar, excellent.
Let us wag then.
Allons, allons, allons!
1155 Exeunt.