Mine host of the Garter!

What says my bully rook? Speak scholarly 303and wisely.

Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my 305followers.

Discard, bully Hercules, cashier. Let them wag -- 307trot, trot!

I sit at ten pounds a week.

Thou'rt an emperor: Caesar, kaiser,and vizier! 310I will entertain Bardolph. He shall draw; he shall tap. Said 311I well, bully Hector?

Do so, good mine host.

I have spoke; let him follow. -- Let me see thee froth, 314and live. I am at a word. Follow.

Bardolph, follow him. A tapster is a good trade. 316an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered serving317man, a fresh} tapster. Go, adiEvans

It is a life that I have desired. I will thrive.

Oh, base Hungarian wight! Wilt thou the spigot wield?

He was gotten in drink. Is not the humor conceited?

I am glad I am so acquit of this tinderbox. His 322thefts were too open. His filching was like an unskilful 323singer: he kept not time.

The good humor is to steal at a minute's rest.

"Convey" the wise it call. "Steal"?

Foh, a fico for 326the phrase.

Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels.

Why then let kibes ensue.

There is no remedy. I must coney-catch. I must shift.

Young ravens must have food.

Which of you know Ford of this town?

I ken the wight. He is of substance good.

My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about.

Two yards and more.

No quips now, Pistol: Indeed I am in the waist 336two yards about, but I am now about no waste. I am a337bout thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's 338wife. I spy entertainment in her. She discourses, she 339carves, she gives the leer of invitation. I can construe 340the action of her familiar style; and the hardest voice of her 341behavior -- to be Englished rightly -- is "I am Sir John Falstafs's."

He hath studied her will, and translated her will

343Out of honesty into English.

The anchor is deep. Will that humor pass?

Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of her 346husband's purse. He hath a legend of angels.

As many devils entertain, and "To her, boy!" say I.

The humor rises; it is good. Humor me the angels!

I have writ me here a letter to her, and here ano350ther to Page's wife, who even now gave me good eyes 351too; examined my parts with most judicious oeillades: some352times the beam of her view gilded my foot, some353times my portly belly.

Then did the sun on dunghill shine.

I thank thee for that humor.

Oh, she did so course o'er my exteriors with such 357a greedy intention that the appetite of her eye, did seem 358to scorch me up like a burning-glass. Here's another 359letter to her. She bears the purse too. She is a region 360in Guiana, all gold, and bounty. I will be cheaters to 361them both, and they shall be exchequers to me. They 362shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to 363them both: [To Nym] Go, bear thou this letter to Mistress Page, 364[To Pistol] and thou this to Mistress Ford. We will thrive, lads, we 365will thrive!

Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become,

367And by my side wear steel? Then Lucifer take all!

I will run no base humor. Here take the humor-letter. 369I will keep the 'havior of reputation.

[To his Page.] Hold, sirrah, bear you these letters tightly;

371Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.

372-- Rogues, hence, avaunt, vanish like hailstones, go!

373Trudge, plod away i'th' hoof, seek shelter, pack!

374Falstaff will learn the honor of the age,

375French thrift – you rogues! -- myself and skirted page.

Let vultures gripe thy guts! For gourd and377fulham holds,

And high and low beguiles the rich and poor.

378Tester I'll have in pouch when thou shalt lack,

379Base Phrygian Turk!

I have operations 381which be humors of revenge.

Wilt thou revenge?

By welkin and her star!

With wit, or steel?

With both the humors, I. 386I will discuss the humor of this love to Ford.

And I to Page shall eke unfold

388How Falstaff, varlet vile,

389His dove will prove, his gold will hold,

390And his soft couch defile.

My humor shall not cool. I will incense Ford 392to deal with poison. I will possess him with yellow393ness, for the revolt of mine is dangerous. That is my 394true humor.

Thou art the Mars of malcontents.

I second 396thee. Troop on!