1354Mist. Ford. What Iohn, what Robert.

1355M. Page. Quickly, quickly: Is the Buck-basket ---

1356Mis. Ford. I warrant. What Robin I say.

1357Mis. Page. Come, come, come.

1358Mist. Ford. Heere, set it downe.

1359M. Pag. Giue your men the charge, we must be briefe.

1360M. Ford. Marrie, as I told you before (Iohn & Robert)

1361be ready here hard-by in the Brew-house, & when I so-

1362dainly call you, come forth, and (without any pause, or

1363staggering) take this basket on your shoulders: y^t done,

1364trudge with it in all hast, and carry it among the Whit-

1365sters in Dotchet Mead, and there empty it in the muddie

1366ditch, close by the Thames side.

1367M. Page. You will do it?

1368M. Ford. I ha told them ouer and ouer, they lacke no (direction.

1369Be gone, and come when you are call'd.

1370M. Page. Here comes little Robin.

1371Mist. Ford. How now my Eyas-Musket, what newes (with you?

1372Rob. My M. Sir Iohn is come in at your backe doore

1373(Mist. Ford, and requests your company.

1374M. Page. You litle Iack-a-lent, haue you bin true to vs

1375Rob. I, Ile be sworne: my Master knowes not of your

1376being heere: and hath threatned to put me into euerla-

1377sting liberty, if I tell you of it: for he sweares he'll turne

1378me away.

1379Mist. Pag. Thou'rt a good boy: this secrecy of thine

1380shall be a Tailor to thee, and shal make thee a new dou-

1381blet and hose. Ile go hide me.

1382Mi. Ford. Do so: go tell thy Master, I am alone: Mi-

1383stris Page, remember you your Qu.

1384Mist. Pag. I warrant thee, if I do not act it, hisse me.

1385Mist. Ford. Go-too then: we'l vse this vnwholsome

1386humidity, this grosse-watry Pumpion; we'll teach him

1387to know Turtles from Iayes.

1388Fal. Haue I caught thee, my heauenly Iewell? Why

1389now let me die, for I haue liu'd long enough: This is the

1390period of my ambition: O this blessed houre.

1391Mist. Ford. O sweet Sir Iohn.

1392Fal. Mistris Ford, I cannot cog, I cannot prate (Mist.

1393Ford) now shall I sin in my wish; I would thy Husband

1394were dead, Ile speake it before the best Lord, I would

1395make thee my Lady.

1396Mist. Ford. I your Lady Sir Iohn? Alas, I should bee a

1397pittifull Lady.

1398Fal. Let the Court of France shew me such another:

1399I see how thine eye would emulate the Diamond: Thou

1400hast the right arched-beauty of the brow, that becomes

1401the Ship-tyre, the Tyre-valiant, or any Tire of Venetian

1402admittance.

1403Mist. Ford. A plaine Kerchiefe, Sir Iohn:

1404My browes become nothing else, nor that well neither.

1405Fal. Thou art a tyrant to say so: thou wouldst make

1406an absolute Courtier, and the firme fixture of thy foote,

1407would giue an excellent motion to thy gate, in a semi-

1408circled Farthingale. I see what thou wert if Fortune thy

1409foe, were not Nature thy friend: Come, thou canst not

1410hide it.

1411Mist. Ford. Beleeue me, ther's no such thing in me.

1412Fal. What made me loue thee? Let that perswade

1413thee. Ther's something extraordinary in thee: Come, I

1414cannot cog, and say thou art this and that, like a-manie

1415of these lisping-hauthorne buds, that come like women

1416in mens apparrell, and smell like Bucklers-berry in sim-

1417ple time: I cannot, but I loue thee, none but thee; and

1418thou deseru'st it.

1419M. Ford. Do not betray me sir, I fear you loue M. Page.

1420Fal. Thou mightst as well say, I loue to walke by the

1421Counter-gate, which is as hatefull to me, as the reeke of

1422a Lime-kill.

1423Mis Ford. Well, heauen knowes how I loue you,

1424And you shall one day finde it.

1425Fal. Keepe in that minde, Ile deserue it.

1426Mist. Ford. Nay, I must tell you, so you doe;

1427Or else I could not be in that minde.

1428Rob. Mistris Ford, Mistris Ford: heere's Mistris Page at

1429the doore, sweating, and blowing, and looking wildely,

1430and would needs speake with you presently.

1431Fal. She shall not see me, I will ensconce mee behinde

1432the Arras.

1433M. Ford. Pray you do so, she's a very tatling woman.

1434Whats the matter? How now?

1435Mist. Page. O mistris Ford what haue you done?

1436You'r sham'd, y'are ouerthrowne, y'are vndone for euer.

1437M. Ford. What's the matter, good mistris Page?

1438M. Page. O weladay, mist. Ford, hauing an honest man

1439to your husband, to giue him such cause of suspition.

1440M. Ford. What cause of suspition?

1441M. Page. What cause of suspition? Out vpon you:

1442How am I mistooke in you?

1443M. Ford. Why (alas) what's the matter?

1444M. Page. Your husband's comming hether (Woman)

1445with all the Officers in Windsor, to search for a Gentle-

1446man, that he sayes is heere now in the house; by your

1447consent to take an ill aduantage of his absence: you are

1448vndone.

1449M. Ford. 'Tis not so, I hope.

1450M. Page. Pray heauen it be not so, that you haue such

1451a man heere: but 'tis most certaine your husband's com-

1452ming, with halfe Windsor at his heeles, to serch for such

1453a one, I come before to tell you: If you know your selfe

1454cleere, why I am glad of it: but if you haue a friend here,

1455conuey, conuey him out. Be not amaz'd, call all your

1456senses to you, defend your reputation, or bid farwell to

1457your good life for euer.

1458M. Ford. What shall I do? There is a Gentleman my

1459deere friend: and I feare not mine owne shame so much,

1460as his perill. I had rather then a thousand pound he were

1461out of the house.

1462M. Page. For shame, neuer stand (you had rather, and

1463you had rather:) your husband's heere at hand, bethinke

1464you of some conueyance: in the house you cannot hide

1465him. Oh, how haue you deceiu'd me? Looke, heere is a

1466basket, if he be of any reasonable stature, he may creepe

1467in heere, and throw fowle linnen vpon him, as if it were

1468going to bucking: Or it is whiting time, send him by

1469your two men to Datchet-Meade.

1470M. Ford. He's too big to go in there: what shall I do?

1471Fal. Let me see't, let me see't, O let me see't:

1472Ile in, Ile in: Follow your friends counsell, Ile in.

1473M. Page. What Sir Iohn Falstaffe? Are these your Let-

1474ters, Knight?

1475Fal. I loue thee, helpe mee away: let me creepe in

1476heere: ile neuer ---

1477M. Page. Helpe to couer your master (Boy:) Call

1478your men (Mist. Ford.) You dissembling Knight.

1479M. Ford. What Iohn, Robert, Iohn; Go, take vp these

1480cloathes heere, quickly: Wher's the Cowle-staffe? Look

1481how you drumble? Carry them to the Landresse in Dat-

1482chet mead: quickly, come.

1483Ford. 'Pray you come nere: if I suspect without cause,

1484Why then make sport at me, then let me be your iest,

1485I deserue it: How now? Whether beare you this?

1486Ser. To the Landresse forsooth?

1487M. Ford. Why, what haue you to doe whether they

1488beare it? You were best meddle with buck-washing.

1489Ford. Buck? I would I could wash my selfe of y^e Buck:

1490Bucke, bucke, bucke, I bucke: I warrant you Bucke,

1491And of the season too; it shall appeare.

1492Gentlemen, I haue dream'd to night, Ile tell you my

1493dreame: heere, heere, heere bee my keyes, ascend my

1494Chambers, search, seeke, finde out: Ile warrant wee'le

1495vnkennell the Fox. Let me stop this way first: so, now

1496vncape.

1497Page. Good master Ford, be contented:

1498You wrong your selfe too much.

1499Ford. True (master Page) vp Gentlemen,

1500You shall see sport anon:

1501Follow me Gentlemen.

1502Euans. This is fery fantasticall humors and iealousies.

1503Caius. By gar, 'tis no-the fashion of France:

1504It is not iealous in France.

1505Page. Nay follow him (Gentlemen) see the yssue of

1506his search.

1507Mist Page. Is there not a double excellency in this?

1508Mist. Ford. I know not which pleases me better,

1509That my husband is deceiued, or Sir Iohn.

1510Mist. Page. What a taking was hee in, when your

1511husband askt who was in the basket?

1512Mist. Ford. I am halfe affraid he will haue neede of

1513washing: so throwing him into the water, will doe him

1514a benefit.

1515Mist. Page. Hang him dishonest rascall: I would all

1516of the same straine, were in the same distresse.

1517Mist. Ford. I thinke my husband hath some speciall

1518suspition of Falstaffs being heere: for I neuer saw him so

1519grosse in his iealousie till now.

1520Mist. Page. I will lay a plot to try that, and wee will

1521yet haue more trickes with Falstaffe: his dissolute disease

1522will scarse obey this medicine.

1523Mis. Ford. Shall we send that foolishion Carion, Mist.

1524Quickly to him, and excuse his throwing into the water,

1525and giue him another hope, to betray him to another

1526punishment?

1527Mist. Page. We will do it: let him be sent for to mor-

1528row eight a clocke to haue amends.

1529Ford. I cannot finde him: may be the knaue bragg'd

1530of that he could not compasse.

1531Mis. Page. Heard you that?

1532Mis. Ford. You vse me well, M. Ford? Do you?

1533Ford. I, I do so.

1534M. Ford. Heauen make you better then your thoghts

1535Ford. Amen.

1536Mi. Page. You do your selfe mighty wrong (M. Ford)

1537Ford. I, I: I must beare it.

1538Eu. If there be any pody in the house, & in the cham-

1539bers, and in the coffers, and in the presses: heauen for-

1540giue my sins at the day of iudgement.

1541Caius. Be gar, nor I too: there is no-bodies.

1542Page. Fy, fy, M. Ford, are you not asham'd? What spi-

1543rit, what diuell suggests this imagination? I wold not ha

1544your distemper in this kind, for y^e welth of Windsor castle.

1545Ford. 'Tis my fault (M. Page) I suffer for it.

1546Euans. You suffer for a pad conscience: your wife is

1547as honest a o'mans, as I will desires among fiue thou-

1548sand, and fiue hundred too.

1549Cai. By gar, I see 'tis an honest woman.

1550Ford. Well, I promisd you a dinner: come, come, walk

1551in the Parke, I pray you pardon me: I wil hereafter make

1552knowne to you why I haue done this. Come wife, come

1553Mi. Page, I pray you pardon me. Pray hartly pardon me.

1554Page. Let's go in Gentlemen, but (trust me) we'l mock

1555him: I doe inuite you to morrow morning to my house

1556to breakfast: after we'll a Birding together, I haue a fine

1557Hawke for the bush. Shall it be so:

1558Ford. Any thing.

1559Eu. If there is one, I shall make two in the Companie

1560Ca. If there be one, or two, I shall make-a-theturd.

1561Ford. Pray you go, M. Page.

1562Eua. I pray you now remembrance to morrow on the

1563lowsie knaue, mine Host.

1564Cai. Dat is good by gar, withall my heart.

1565Eua. A lowsie knaue, to haue his gibes, and his moc-

1566keries. Exeunt.