1017To. Come thy wayes Signior Fabian.

1018Fab. Nay Ile come: if I loose a scruple of this sport,

1019let me be boyl'd to death with Melancholly.

1020To. Wouldst thou not be glad to haue the niggard-

1021ly Rascally sheepe-biter, come by some notable shame?

1022Fa. I would exult man: you know he brought me out

1023o'fauour with my Lady, about a Beare-baiting heere.

1024To. To anger him wee'l haue the Beare againe, and

1025we will foole him blacke and blew, shall we not sir An-

1026drew?

1027An. And we do not, it is pittie of our liues.

1029To. Heere comes the little villaine: How now my

1030Mettle of India?

1031Mar. Get ye all three into the box tree: Maluolio's

1032comming downe this walke, he has beene yonder i'the

1033Sunne practising behauiour to his own shadow this halfe

1034houre: obserue him for the loue of Mockerie: for I know

1035this Letter wil make a contemplatiue Ideot of him. Close

1036in the name of ieasting, lye thou there: for heere comes

1037the Trowt, that must be caught with tickling. Exit

1039Mal. 'Tis but Fortune, all is fortune. Maria once

1040told me she did affect me, and I haue heard her self come

1041thus neere, that should shee fancie, it should bee one of

1042my complection. Besides she vses me with a more ex-

1043alted respect, then any one else that followes her. What

1044should I thinke on't?

1045To. Heere's an ouer-weening rogue.

1046Fa. Oh peace: Contemplation makes a rare Turkey

1047Cocke of him, how he iets vnder his aduanc'd plumes.

1048And. Slight I could so beate the Rogue.

1049To. Peace I say.

1050Mal. To be Count Maluolio.

1051To. Ah Rogue.

1052An. Pistoll him, pistoll him.

1053To. Peace, peace.

1054Mal. There is example for't: The Lady of the Stra-

1055chy, married the yeoman of the wardrobe.

1056An. Fie on him Iezabel.

1057Fa. O peace, now he's deepely in: looke how imagi-

1058nation blowes him.

1059Mal. Hauing beene three moneths married to her,

1060sitting in my state.

1061To. O for a stone-bow to hit him in the eye.

1062Mal. Calling my Officers about me, in my branch'd

1063Veluet gowne: hauing come from a day bedde, where I

1064haue left Oliuia sleeping.

1065To. Fire and Brimstone.

1066Fa. O peace, peace.

1067Mal. And then to haue the humor of state: and after

1068a demure trauaile of regard: telling them I knowe my

1069place, as I would they should doe theirs: to aske for my

1070kinsman Toby.

1071To. Boltes and shackles.

1072Fa. Oh peace, peace, peace, now, now.

1073Mal. Seauen of my people with an obedient start,

1074make out for him: I frowne the while, and perchance

1075winde vp my watch, or play with my some rich Iewell:

1076Toby approaches; curtsies there to me.

1077To. Shall this fellow liue?

1078Fa. Though our silence be drawne from vs with cars,

1079yet peace.

1080Mal. I extend my hand to him thus: quenching my

1081familiar smile with an austere regard of controll.

1082To. And do's not Toby take you a blow o'the lippes,

1083then?

1084Mal. Saying, Cosine Toby, my Fortunes hauing cast

1085me on your Neece, giue me this prerogatiue of speech.

1086To. What, what?

1087Mal. You must amend your drunkennesse.

1088To. Out scab.

1089Fab. Nay patience, or we breake the sinewes of our

1090plot?

1091Mal. Besides you waste the treasure of your time,

1092with a foolish knight.

1093And. That's mee I warrant you.

1094Mal. One sir Andrew.

1095And. I knew 'twas I, for many do call mee foole.

1096Mal. What employment haue we heere?

1097Fa. Now is the Woodcocke neere the gin.

1098To. Oh peace, and the spirit of humors intimate rea-

1099ding aloud to him.

1100Mal. By my life this is my Ladies hand: these bee her

1101very C's, her V's, and her T's, and thus makes shee her

1102great P's. It is in contempt of question her hand.

1103An. Her C's, her V's, and her T's: why that?

1104Mal. To the vnknowne belou'd, this, and my good Wishes:

1105Her very Phrases: By your leaue wax. Soft, and the im-

1106pressure her Lucrece, with which she vses to seale: tis my

1107Lady: To whom should this be?

1108Fab. This winnes him, Liuer and all.

264 Twelfe Night, or, What you will.

1109Mal. Ioue knowes I loue, but who, Lips do not mooue, no

1110man must know. No man must know. What followes?

1111The numbers alter'd: No man must know,

1112If this should be thee Maluolio?

1113To. Marrie hang thee brocke.

1114Mal. I may command where I adore, but silence like a Lu-

1115cresse knife:

1116 With bloodlesse stroke my heart doth gore, M.O.A.I. doth

1117sway my life.

1118Fa. A fustian riddle.

1119To. Excellent Wench, say I.

1120Mal. M.O.A.I. doth sway my life. Nay but first

1121let me see, let me see, let me see.

1122Fab. What dish a poyson has she drest him?

1123To. And with what wing the stallion checkes at it?

1124Mal. I may command, where I adore: Why shee may

1125command me: I serue her, she is my Ladie. Why this is

1126euident to any formall capacitie. There is no obstruction

1127in this, and the end: What should that Alphabeticall po-

1128sition portend, if I could make that resemble something

1129in me? Softly, M.O.A.I.

1130To. O I, make vp that, he is now at a cold sent.

1131Fab. Sowter will cry vpon't for all this, though it bee

1132as ranke as a Fox.

1133Mal. M. Maluolio, M. why that begins my name.

1134Fab. Did not I say he would worke it out, the Curre

1135is excellent at faults.

1136Mal. M. But then there is no consonancy in the sequell

1137that suffers vnder probation: A. should follow, but O.

1138does.

1139Fa. And O shall end, I hope.

1140To. I, or Ile cudgell him, and make him cry O.

1141Mal. And then I. comes behind.

1142Fa. I, and you had any eye behinde you, you might

1143see more detraction at your heeles, then Fortunes before

1144you.

1145Mal. M,O,A,I. This simulation is not as the former:

1146and yet to crush this a little, it would bow to mee, for e-

1147uery one of these Letters are in my name. Soft, here fol-

1148lowes prose: If this fall into thy hand, reuolue. In my stars

1149I am aboue thee, but be not affraid of greatnesse: Some

1150are become great, some atcheeues greatnesse, and some

1151haue greatnesse thrust vppon em. Thy fates open theyr

1152hands, let thy blood and spirit embrace them, and to in-

1153vre thy selfe to what thou art like to be: cast thy humble

1154slough, and appeare fresh. Be opposite with a kinsman,

1155surly with seruants: Let thy tongue tang arguments of

1156state; put thy selfe into the tricke of singularitie. Shee

1157thus aduises thee, that sighes for thee. Remember who

1158commended thy yellow stockings, and wish'd to see thee

1159euer crosse garter'd: I say remember, goe too, thou art

1160made if thou desir'st to be so: If not, let me see thee a ste-

1161ward still, the fellow of seruants, and not woorthie to

1162touch Fortunes fingers Farewell, Shee that would alter

1163seruices with thee, tht fortunate vnhappy daylight and

1164champian discouers not more: This is open, I will bee

1165proud, I will reade politicke Authours, I will baffle Sir

1166Toby, I will wash off grosse acquaintance, I will be point

1167deuise, the very man. I do not now foole my selfe, to let

1168imagination iade mee; for euery reason excites to this,

1169that my Lady loues me. She did commend my yellow

1170stockings of late, shee did praise my legge being crosse-

1171garter'd, and in this she manifests her selfe to my loue, &

1172with a kinde of iniunction driues mee to these habites of

1173her liking. I thanke my starres, I am happy: I will bee

1174strange, stout, in yellow stockings, and crosse Garter'd,

1175euen with the swiftnesse of putting on. Ioue, and my

1176starres be praised. Heere is yet a postscript. Thou canst

1177not choose but know who I am. If thou entertainst my loue, let

1178it appeare in thy smiling, thy smiles become thee well. There-

1179fore in my presence still smile, deero my sweete, I prethee. Ioue

1180I thanke thee, I will smile, I wil do euery thing that thou

1181wilt haue me. Exit

1182Fab. I will not giue my part of this sport for a pensi-

1183on of thousands to be paid from the Sophy.

1184To. I could marry this wench for this deuice.

1185An. So could I too.

1186To. And aske no other dowry with her, but such ano-

1187ther iest.

1189An. Nor I neither.

1190Fab. Heere comes my noble gull catcher.

1191To. Wilt thou set thy foote o'my necke.

1192An. Or o'mine either?

1193To. Shall I play my freedome at tray-trip, and becom

1194thy bondslaue?

1195An. Ifaith, or I either?

1196Tob. Why, thou hast put him in such a dreame, that

1197when the image of it leaues him, he must run mad.

1198Ma. Nay but say true, do's it worke vpon him?

1199To. Like Aqua vite with a Midwife.

1200Mar. If you will then see the fruites of the sport, mark

1201his first approach before my Lady: hee will come to her

1202in yellow stockings, and 'tis a colour she abhorres, and

1203crosse garter'd, a fashion shee detests: and hee will smile

1204vpon her, which will now be so vnsuteable to her dispo-

1205sition, being addicted to a melancholly, as shee is, that it

1206cannot but turn him into a notable contempt: if you wil

1207see it follow me.

1208To. To the gates of Tartar, thou most excellent diuell

1209of wit.

1210And. Ile make one too. Exeunt.