700To. Approach Sir Andrew: not to bee a bedde after

701midnight, is to be vp betimes, and Deliculo surgere, thou

702know'st.

703And. Nay by my troth I know not: but I know, to

704be vp late, is to be vp late.

705To. A false conclusion: I hate it as an vnfill'd Canne.

706To be vp after midnight, and to go to bed then is early:

707so that to go to bed after midnight, is to goe to bed be-

708times. Does not our liues consist of the foure Ele-

709ments?

710And. Faith so they say, but I thinke it rather consists

711of eating and drinking.

712To. Th'art a scholler; let vs therefore eate and drinke.

713Marian I say, a stoope of wine.

715And. Heere comes the foole yfaith.

716Clo. How now my harts: Did you neuer see the Pic-

717ture of we three?

718To. Welcome asse, now let's haue a catch.

719And. By my troth the foole has an excellent breast. I

720had rather then forty shillings I had such a legge, and so

721sweet a breath to sing, as the foole has. Insooth thou wast

722in very gracious fooling last night, when thou spok'st of

723Pigrogromitus, of the Vapians passing the Equinoctial of

724Queubus: 'twas very good yfaith: I sent thee sixe pence

Twelfe Night, or, What you will. 261

725for thy Lemon, hadst it?

726Clo. I did impeticos thy gratillity: for Maluolios nose

727is no Whip-stocke. My Lady has a white hand, and the

728Mermidons are no bottle-ale houses.

729An. Excellent: Why this is the best fooling, when

730all is done. Now a song.

731To. Come on, there is sixe pence for you. Let's haue

732a song.

733An. There's a testrill of me too: if one knight giue a

734Clo. Would you haue a loue-song, or a song of good

735life?

736To. A loue song, a loue song.

737An. I, I. I care not for good life.

745An. Excellent good, ifaith.

746To. Good, good.

753An. A mellifluous voyce, as I am true knight.

754To. A contagious breath.

755An. Very sweet, and contagious ifaith.

756To. To heare by the nose, it is dulcet in contagion.

757But shall we make the Welkin dance indeed? Shall wee

758rowze the night-Owle in a Catch, that will drawe three

759soules out of one Weauer? Shall we do that?

760And. And you loue me, let's doo't: I am dogge at a

761Catch.

762Clo. Byrlady sir, and some dogs will catch well.

763An. Most certaine: Let our Catch be, Thou Knaue.

764Clo. Hold thy peace, thou Knaue knight. I shall be con-

765strain'd in't, to call thee knaue, Knight.

766An. 'Tis not the first time I haue constrained one to

767call me knaue. Begin foole: it begins, Hold thy peace.

768Clo. I shall neuer begin if I hold my peace.

769An. Good ifaith: Come begin. Catch sung

771Mar. What a catterwalling doe you keepe heere? If

772my Ladie haue not call'd vp her Steward Maluolio, and

773bid him turne you out of doores, neuer trust me.

774To, My Lady's a Catayan, we are politicians, Maluolios

775a Peg-a-ramsie, and Three merry men be wee. Am not I

776consanguinious? Am I not of her blood: tilly vally. La-

777die, There dwelt a man in Babylon, Lady, Lady.

778Clo. Beshrew me, the knights in admirable fooling.

779An. I, he do's well enough if he be dispos'd, and so

780do I too: he does it with a better grace, but I do it more

781naturall.

782To. O the twelfe day of December.

783Mar. For the loue o'God peace.

785Mal. My masters are you mad? Or what are you?

786Haue you no wit, manners, nor honestie, but to gabble

787like Tinkers at this time of night? Do yee make an Ale-

788house of my Ladies house, that ye squeak out your Cozi-

789ers Catches without any mitigation or remorse of voice?

790Is there no respect of place, persons, nor time in you?

791To. We did keepe time sir in our Catches. Snecke v p.

792Mal. Sir Toby, I must be round with you. My Lady

793bad me tell you, that though she harbors you as her kins-

794man, she's nothing ally'd to your disorders. If you can

795separate your selfe and your misdemeanors, you are wel-

796come to the house: if not, and it would please you to take

797leaue of her, she is very willing to bid you farewell.

798To. Farewell deere heart, since I must needs be gone.

799Mar. Nay good Sir Toby.

800Clo. His eyes do shew his dayes are almost done.

801Mal. Is't euen so?

802To. But I will neuer dye.

803Clo. Sir Toby there you lye.

804Mal. This is much credit to you.

805To. Shall I bid him go.

806Clo. What and if you do?

807To. Shall I bid him go, and spare not?

808Clo. O no, no, no, no, you dare not.

809To. Out o'tune sir, ye lye: Art any more then a Stew-

810ard? Dost thou thinke because thou art vertuous, there

811shall be no more Cakes and Ale?

812Clo. Yes by S. Anne, and Ginger shall bee hotte y'th

813mouth too.

814To. Th'art i'th right. Goe sir, rub your Chaine with

815crums. A stope of Wine Maria.

816Mal. Mistris Mary, if you priz'd my Ladies fauour

817at any thing more then contempt, you would not giue

818meanes for this vnciuill rule; she shall know of it by this

819hand. Exit

820Mar. Go shake your eares.

821An. 'Twere as good a deede as to drink when a mans

822a hungrie, to challenge him the field, and then to breake

823promise with him, and make a foole of him.

824To. Doo't knight, Ile write thee a Challenge: or Ile

825deliuer thy indignation to him by word of mouth.

826Mar. Sweet Sir Toby be patient for to night: Since

827the youth of the Counts was to day with my Lady, she is

828much out of quiet. For Monsieur Maluolio, let me alone

829with him: If I do not gull him into an ayword, and make

830him a common recreation, do not thinke I haue witte e-

831nough to lye straight in my bed: I know I can do it.

832To. Possesse vs, possesse vs, tell vs something of him.

833Mar. Marrie sir, sometimes he is a kinde of Puritane.

834An. O, if I thought that, Ide beate him like a dogge.

835To. What for being a Puritan, thy exquisite reason,

836deere knight.

837An. I haue no exquisite reason for't, but I haue reason

838good enough.

839Mar. The diu'll a Puritane that hee is, or any thing

840constantly but a time-pleaser, an affection'd Asse, that

841cons State without booke, and vtters it by great swarths.

842The best perswaded of himselfe: so cram'd (as he thinkes)

843with excellencies, that it is his grounds of faith, that all

844that looke on him, loue him: and on that vice in him, will

845my reuenge finde notable cause to worke.

846To. What wilt thou do?

847Mar. I will drop in his way some obscure Epistles of

848loue, wherein by the colour of his beard, the shape of his

849legge, the manner of his gate, the expressure of his eye,

850forehead, and complection, he shall finde himselfe most

851feelingly personated. I can write very like my Ladie

852your Neece, on a forgotten matter wee can hardly make

853distinction of our hands.

854To. Excellent, I smell a deuice.

855An. I hau't in my nose too.

856To. He shall thinke by the Letters that thou wilt drop

262 Twelfe Night, or, What you will.

857that they come from my Neece, and that shee's in loue

858with him.

859Mar. My purpose is indeed a horse of that colour.

860An. And your horse now would make him an Asse.

861Mar. Asse, I doubt not.

862An. O twill be admirable.

863Mar. Sport royall I warrant you: I know my Phy-

864sicke will worke with him, I will plant you two, and let

865the Foole make a third, where he shall finde the Letter:

866obserue his construction of it: For this night to bed, and

867dreame on the euent: Farewell. Exit

868To. Good night Penthisilea.

869An. Before me she's a good wench.

870To. She's a beagle true bred, and one that adores me:

871what o'that?

872An. I was ador'd once too.

873To. Let's to bed knight: Thou hadst neede send for

874more money.

875An. If I cannot recouer your Neece, I am a foule way

876out.

877To. Send for money knight, if thou hast her not i'th

878end, call me Cut.

879An. If I do not, neuer trust me, take it how you will.

880To. Come, come, Ile go burne some Sacke, tis too late

881to go to bed now: Come knight, come knight. Exeunt