119Sir To. What a plague meanes my Neece to take the

120death of her brother thus? I am sure care's an enemie to

121life.

122Mar. By my troth sir Toby you must come in earlyer

123a nights: your Cosin, my Lady, takes great exceptions

124to your ill houres.

125To. Why let her except, before excepted.

126Ma. I, but you must confine your selfe within the

127modest limits of order.

128To. Confine? Ile confine my selfe no finer then I am:

129these cloathes are good enough to drinke in, and so bee

130these boots too: and they be not, let them hang them-

131selues in their owne straps.

132Ma. That quaffing and drinking will vndoe you: I

133heard my Lady talke of it yesterday: and of a foolish

134knight that you brought in one night here, to be hir woer

135To. Who, Sir Andrew Ague-cheeke?

136Ma. I he.

137To. He's as tall a man as any's in Illyria.

138Ma. What's that to th'purpose?

139To. Why he ha's three thousand ducates a yeare.

140Ma. I, but hee'l haue but a yeare in all these ducates:

141He's a very foole, and a prodigall.

142To. Fie, that you'l say so: he playes o'th Viol-de-gan-

143boys, and speaks three or four languages word for word

144without booke, & hath all the good gifts of nature.

145Ma. He hath indeed, almost naturall: for besides that

146he's a foole, he's a great quarreller: and but that hee hath

147the gift of a Coward, to allay the gust he hath in quarrel-

148ling, 'tis thought among the prudent, he would quickely

149haue the gift of a graue.

150Tob. By this hand they are scoundrels and substra-

151ctors that say so of him. Who are they?

152Ma. They that adde moreour, hee's drunke nightly

153in your company.

154To. With drinking healths to my Neece: Ile drinke

155to her as long as there is a passage in my throat, & drinke

156in Illyria: he's a Coward and a Coystrill that will not

157drinke to my Neece. till his braines turne o'th toe, like a

158parish top. What wench? Castiliano vulgo : for here coms

159Sir Andrew Agueface.

161And. Sir Toby Belch. How now sir Toby Belch?

162To. Sweet sir Andrew.

163And. Blesse you faire Shrew.

164Mar. And you too sir.

165Tob. Accost Sir Andrew, accost.

166And. What's that?

167To. My Neeces Chamber-maid.

168Ma. Good Mistris accost, I desire better acquaintance

169Ma. My name is Mary sir.

170And. Good mistris Mary, accost.

171To, You mistake knight: Accost, is front her, boord

172her, woe her, assayle her.

173And. By my troth I would not vndertake her in this

174company. Is that the meaning of Accost?

175Ma. Far you well Gentlemen.

176To. And thou let part so Sir Andrew, would thou

177mightst neuer draw sword agen.

178And. And you part so mistris, I would I might neuer

179draw sword agen: Faire Lady, doe you thinke you haue

180fooles in hand?

181Ma. Sir, I haue not you by'th hand.

182An. Marry but you shall haue, and heeres my hand.

183Ma. Now sir, thought is free: I pray you bring your

184hand to'th Buttry barre, and let it drinke.

185An. Wherefore (sweet-heart?) What's your Meta-

186phor?

187Ma. It's dry sir.

188And. Why I thinke so: I am not such an asse, but I

189can keepe my hand dry. But what's your iest?

190Ma. A dry iest Sir.

191And. Are you full of them?

192Ma. I Sir, I haue them at my fingers ends: marry now

193I let go your hand, I am barren. Exit Maria

194To. O knight, thou lack'st a cup of Canarie: when did

195I see thee so put downe?

196An. Neuer in your life I thinke, vnlesse you see Ca-

197narie put me downe: mee thinkes sometimes I haue no

198more wit then a Christian, or an ordinary man ha's: but I

199am a great eater of beefe, and I beleeue that does harme

200to my wit.

201To. No question.

202An. And I thought that, I'de forsweare it. Ile ride

203home to morrow sir Toby.

204To. Pur-quoy my deere knight?

205An. What is purquoy? Do, or not do? I would I had

206bestowed that time in the tongues, that I haue in fencing

207dancing, and beare-bayting: O had I but followed the

208Arts.

209To. Then hadst thou had an excellent head of haire.

210An. Why, would that haue mended my haire?

211To. Past question, for thou seest it will not coole my (nature

212An. But it becoms we wel enough, dost not?

213To. Excellent, it hangs like flax on a distaffe: & I hope

214to see a huswife take thee between her legs, & spin it off.

215An. Faith Ile home to morrow sir Toby , your niece wil

216not be seene, or if she be it's four to one, she'l none of me:

217the Connt himselfe here hard by, wooes her.

218To. Shee'l none o'th Count, she'l not match aboue hir

219degree, neither in estate, yeares, nor wit: I haue heard her

220swear t. Tut there's life in't man.

Twelfe Night, or, What you will. 257

221And. Ile stay a moneth longer. I am a fellow o'th

222strangest minde i'th world: I delight in Maskes and Re-

223uels sometimes altogether.

224To. Art thou good at these kicke-chawses Knight?

225And. As any man in Illyria, whatsoeuer he be, vnder

226the degree of my betters, & yet I will not compare with

227an old man.

228To. What is thy excellence in a galliard, knight?

229And. Faith, I can cut a caper.

230To. And I can cut the Mutton too't.

231And. And I thinke I haue the backe-tricke, simply as

232strong as any man in Illyria.

233To. Wherefore are these things hid? Wherefore haue

234these gifts a Curtaine before 'em? Are they like to take

235dust, like mistris Mals picture? Why dost thou not goe

236to Church in a Galliard, and come home in a Carranto?

237My verie walke should be a Iigge: I would not so much

238as make water but in a Sinke-a-pace: What dooest thou

239meane? Is it a world to hide vertues in? I did thinke by

240the excellent constitution of thy legge, it was form'd vn-

241der the starre of a Galliard.

242And. I, 'tis strong, and it does indifferent well in a

243dam'd colour'd stocke. Shall we sit about some Reuels?

244To. What shall we do else: were we not borne vnder

245Taurus?

246And. Taurus? That sides and heart.

247To. No sir, it is leggs and thighes: let me see thee ca-

248per. Ha, higher: ha, ha, excellent. Exeunt