Internet Shakespeare Editions

Author: William Shakespeare
Editors: David Carnegie, Mark Houlahan
Peer Reviewed

Twelfth Night (Folio 1, 1623)

268 Twelfe Night, or, What you will.
To. Which way is hee in the name of sanctity. If all
the diuels of hell be drawne in little, and Legion himselfe
possest him, yet Ile speake to him.
1610Fab. Heere he is, heere he is: how ist with you sir?
How ist with you man?
Mal. Go off, I discard you: let me enioy my priuate:
go off.
Mar. Lo, how hollow the fiend speakes within him;
1615did not I tell you? Sir Toby, my Lady prayes you to haue
a care of him.
Mal. Ah ha, does she so?
To. Go too, go too: peace, peace, wee must deale
gently with him: Let me alone. How do you Maluolio?
1620How ist with you? What man, defie the diuell: consider,
he's an enemy to mankinde.
Mal. Do you know what you say?
Mar. La you, and you speake ill of the diuell, how
he takes it at heart. Pray God he be not bewitch'd.
1625Fab. Carry his water to th'wise woman.
Mar. Marry and it shall be done to morrow morning
if I liue. My Lady would not loose him for more then ile
Mal. How now mistris?
1630Mar. Oh Lord.
To. Prethee hold thy peace, this is not the way: Doe
you not see you moue him? Let me alone with him.
Fa. No way but gentlenesse, gently, gently: the Fiend
is rough, and will not be roughly vs'd.
1635To. Why how now my bawcock? how dost yu chuck?
Mal. Sir.
To. I biddy, come with me. What man, tis not for
grauity to play at cherrie-pit with sathan Hang him foul
1640Mar. Get him to say his prayers, good sir Toby gette
him to pray.
Mal. My prayers Minx.
Mar. No I warrant you, he will not heare of godly-
1645Mal. Go hang your selues all: you are ydle shallowe
things, I am not of your element, you shall knowe more
heereafter. Exit
To. Ist possible?
Fa. If this were plaid vpon a stage now, I could con-
1650demne it as an improbable fiction.
To. His very genius hath taken the infection of the
deuice man.
Mar. Nay pursue him now, least the deuice take ayre,
and taint.
1655Fa. Why we shall make him mad indeede.
Mar. The house will be the quieter.
To. Come, wee'l haue him in a darke room & bound.
My Neece is already in the beleefe that he's mad: we may
carry it thus for our pleasure, and his pennance, til our ve-
1660ry pastime tyred out of breath, prompt vs to haue mercy
on him: at which time, we wil bring the deuice to the bar
and crowne thee for a finder of madmen: but see, but see.
Enter Sir Andrew.
Fa. More matter for a May morning.
1665An. Heere's the Challenge, reade it: I warrant there's
vinegar and pepper in't.
Fab. Ist so sawcy?
And. I, ist? I warrant him: do but read.
To. Giue me.
1670Youth, whatsoeuer thou art, thou art but a scuruy fellow.
Fa. Good, and valiant.
To. Wonder not, nor admire not in thy minde why I doe call
thee so, for I will shew thee no reason for't.
Fa. A good note, that keepes you from the blow of ye(Law
1675To. Thou comst to the Lady Oliuia, and in my sight she vses
thee kindly: but thou lyest in thy throat, that is not the matter
I challenge thee for.
Fa. Very breefe, and to exceeding good sence-lesse.
To. I will way-lay thee going home, where if it be thy chance
1680to kill me.
Fa. Good.
To. Thou kilst me like a rogue and a villaine.
Fa. Still you keepe o'th windie side of the Law: good.
Tob. Fartheewell, and God haue mercie vpon one of our
1685soules. He may haue mercie vpon mine, but my hope is better,
and so looke to thy selfe. Thy friend as thou vsest him, & thy
sworne enemie, Andrew Ague-cheeke.
To. If this Letter moue him not, his legges cannot:
Ile giu't him.
1690Mar. Yon may haue verie fit occasion fot't: he is now
in some commerce with my Ladie, and will by and by
To. Go sir Andrew: scout mee for him at the corner
of the Orchard like a bum-Baylie: so soone as euer thou
1695seest him, draw, and as thou draw'st, sweare horrible: for
t comes to passe oft, that a terrible oath, with a swagge-
ring accent sharpely twang'd off, giues manhoode more
approbation, then euer proofe it selfe would haue earn'd
him. Away.
1700And. Nay let me alone for swearing. Exit
To. Now will not I deliuer his Letter: for the behaui-
our of the yong Gentleman, giues him out to be of good
capacity, and breeding: his employment betweene his
Lord and my Neece, confirmes no lesse. Therefore, this
1705Letter being so excellently ignorant, will breed no terror
in the youth: he will finde it comes from a Clodde-pole.
But sir, I will deliuer his Challenge by word of mouth;
set vpon Ague-cheeke a notable report of valor, and driue
the Gentleman (as I know his youth will aptly receiue it)
1710into a most hideous opinion of his rage, skill, furie, and
impetuositie. This will so fright them both, that they wil
kill one another by the looke, like Cockatrices.

Enter Oliuia and Viola.
Fab. Heere he comes with your Neece, giue them way
1715till he take leaue, and presently after him.
To. I wil meditate the while vpon some horrid message
for a Challenge.
Ol. I haue said too much vnto a hart of stone,
And laid mine honour too vnchary on't:
1720There's something in me that reproues my fault:
But such a head-strong potent fault it is,
That it but mockes reproofe.
Vio. With the same hauiour that your passion beares,
Goes on my Masters greefes.
1725Ol. Heere, weare this Iewell for me, tis my picture:
Refuse it not, it hath no tongue, to vex you:
And I beseech you come againe to morrow.
What shall you aske of me that Ile deny,
That honour (sau'd) may vpon asking giue.
1730Vio. Nothing but this, your true loue for my master.
Ol. How with mine honor may I giue him that,
Which I haue giuen to you.
Vio. I will acquit you.
Ol. Well. come againe to morrow: far-thee-well,
1735A Fiend like thee might beare my soule to hell.
Enter Toby and Fabian.
To. Gentleman, God saue thee.