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Two Gentlemen of Verona (Modern)
Sir, your glove.
Not mine. My gloves are on.
Why then, this may be yours, for this is but one.
Ha? Let me see. Ay, give it me, it's mine.
Madam Silvia! Madam Silvia!
How now, sirrah?
She is not within hearing, sir.
Why sir, who bad you call her?
Your worship, sir, or else I mistook.
Well, you'll still be too forward.
And yet I was last chidden for being too slow.
Go to, sir. Tell me, do you know Madam Silvia?
She that your worship loves?
Why, how know you that I am in love?
Marry, by these special marks: first, you have 414learned, like Sir Proteus, to wreath your arms like a 415malcontent; to relish a love-song, like a Robin red416breast; to walk alone like one that had the pestilence; 417to sigh, like a schoolboy that had lost his A.B.C.; to 418weep, like a young wench that had buried her grandam: 419to fast, like one that takes diet; to watch, like one that 420fears robbing; to speak puling, like a beggar at Hal421lowmas. You were wont, when you laughed, to crow 422like a cock; when you walked, to walk like one of the 423lions; when you fasted, it was presently after dinner; 424when you looked sadly, it was for want of money. And 425now you are metamorphosed with a mistress, that when I 426look on you, I can hardly think you my master.
Are all these things perceived in me?
They are all perceived without ye.
Without me? They cannot.
Without you? Nay, that's certain, for with431out you were so simple, none else would. But you are 432so without these follies, that these follies are within you, 433and shine through you like the water in a urinal, that 434not an eye that sees you but is a physician to comment 435on your malady.
But tell me, dost thou know my Lady Silvia?
She that you gaze on so as she sits at supper?
Hast thou observed that? Even she I mean.
Why sir, I know her not.
Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and 441yet knowst her not?
Is she not hard-favored, sir?
Not so fair, boy, as well-favored.
Sir, I know that well enough.
What dost thou know?
That she is not so fair, as (of you) well-fa447vored.
That's because the one is painted and the o451ther out of all count.
How painted? And how out of count?
Marry sir, so painted to make her fair that no 454man counts of her beauty.
How esteemst thou me? I account of her beauty.
You never saw her since she was deformed.
How long hath she been deformed?
Ever since you loved her.
I have loved her ever since I saw her, 460and still I see her beautiful.
If you love her, you cannot see her.
Why?
Because Love is blind. Oh, that you had mine 464eyes, or your own eyes had the lights they were wont 465to have, when you chid at Sir Proteus for going un466gartered.
What should I see then?
Your own present folly, and her passing de469formity. For he, being in love, could not see to garter 470his hose, and you, being in love, cannot see to put on 471your hose.
Belike, boy, then you are in love, for last morning 473you could not see to wipe my shoes.
True, sir, I was in love with my bed. I thank 475you, you swinged me for my love, which makes me the 476bolder to chide you for yours.
In conclusion, I stand affected to her.
I would you were set, so your affection would 479cease.
Last night she enjoined me 481to write some lines to one she loves.
And have you?
I have.
Are they not lamely writ?
No, boy, but as well as I can do them. 486Peace, here she comes.
[Aside.]
O excellent motion! O exceeding puppet! 488Now will he interpret to her.
2.1.59[Enter Silvia.]
Madam and mistress, a thousand good-morrows.
[Aside.]
Oh, give ye good e'en. Here's a million of 491manners.
Sir Valentine, and servant, to you two thousand.
[Aside.]
He should give her interest, and she gives it him.
As you enjoined me, I have writ your letter
2.1.68 [Gives her a letter.]
I thank you, gentle servant. 'Tis very clerkly done.
Now trust me, Madam, it came hardly off.
Perchance you think too much of so much pains?
No, Madam, so it stead you, I will write,
A pretty period. Well, I guess the sequel;
[Aside.]
And yet you will, and yet another yet.
What means your ladyship?
Yes, yes, the lines are very quaintly writ,
[Offers the letter again.]
Madam, they are for you.
Ay, ay, you writ them, sir, at my request,
Please you, I'll write your ladyship another.
And when it's writ, for my sake read it over,
If it please me, madam? What then?
Why if it please you, take it for your labor.
2.1.97 Exit [Silvia].
[Aside.]
O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible,
532To himself should write the letter?
How now, sir? 534What, are you reasoning with your self?
Nay, I was rhyming. 'Tis you that have the reason.
To do what?
To be a spokesman from Madam Silvia.
To whom?
To your self. Why, she woos you by a figure.
What figure?
By a letter, I should say.
Why, she hath not writ to me.
2.1.114What need she, 544when she hath made you write to your self? 545Why, do you not perceive the jest?
No, believe me.
No believing you indeed, sir. 548But did you perceive her earnest?
She gave me none, except an angry word.
Why, she hath given you a letter.
That's the letter I writ to her friend.
And that letter hath she delivered, and there an end.
I would it were no worse.
I'll warrant you, 'tis as well. 555For often have you writ to her, and she in modesty, 556or else for want of idle time, could not again reply. 557Or fearing else some messenger that might her mind discover, 558herself hath taught her love himself to write unto her lover. 559All this I speak in print, for in print I found it.
560Why muse you sir, 'tis dinner time.
I haue dined.
2.1.125Ay, but hearken, sir. Though the chameleon Love 563can feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my 564victuals, and would fain have meat. Oh, be not like 565your mistress! Be moved! Be moved!
2.1.126Exeunt.