Where the devil should this Romeo be? Came he not 11071101home tonight?

Not to his father's; I spoke with his man.

Why, that same pale hard-hearted wench, that Rosaline, 11101104Torments him so, that he will sure run mad.

Tybalt, the kinsman to old Capulet, hath sent a letter to his 11121106father's house.

A challenge, on my life.

Romeo will answer it.

Any man that can write may answer a letter.

Nay, he will answer the letter's master how he dares, 11171111being dared.

Alas, poor Romeo, he is already dead, stabbed with a 11191113white wench's black eye, run through the ear with a love 11201114song, the very pin of his heart cleft with the blind 11211115bow-boy's butt-shaft; and is he a man to encounter 11221116Tybalt?

Why, what is Tybalt?

More than Prince of Cats. O, he's the courageous 11251119captain of compliments. He fights as you sing prick-song, keeps 11261120time, distance and proportion; he rests his minum rests, one two, 11271121and the third in your bosom--the very butcher of a silk 11281122button--a duellist, a duellist, a gentleman of the very first house of the 11291123first and second cause. Ah, the immortal passado, the punto 11301124reverso, the hay!

The what?

The pox of such antic lisping affecting fantasticos, 11331127these new tuners of accent! By Jesu, a very good blade, a very 11341128tall man, a very good whore! Why, is not this a lamentable thing, 11351129grandsire, that we should be thus afflicted with these strange 11361130flies, these fashion-mongers, these "pardon-me"'s, who stand so 11371131much on the new form that they cannot sit at ease on the old 11381132bench. O, their bones, their bones!

Here comes Romeo; here comes Romeo!

Without his roe, like a dried herring. O flesh, flesh, 11431136how art thou fishified? Now is he for the numbers that Petrarch 11441137flowed in. Laura to his lady was a kitchen wench--marry, 11451138she had a better love to berhyme her--Dido a dowdy, Cleopatra 11461139a gypsy, Helen and Hero hildings and harlots, Thisbe a gray 11471140eye or so, but not to the purpose. Signor Romeo, bonjour, there's 11481141a French salutation to your French slop. You gave us the 11491142counterfeit fairly last night.

Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give 11521144you?

The slip, sir, the slip. Can you not conceive?

Pardon, good Mercutio,my business was great, and in 11551147such a case as mine, a man may strain courtesy.

That's as much as to say, such a case as yours constrains 11571149a man to bow in the hams.

Meaning, to curtsy.

Thou hast most kindly hit it.

A most courteous exposition.

Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy.

Pink for flower.

Right.

Why, then is my pump well flowered.

Sure wit, follow me this jest now till thou hast worn 11661158out thy pump, that when the single sole of it is worn, the jest 11671159may remain after the wearing, solely singular.

O single-soled jest, solely singular for the singleness!

Come between us, good Benvolio, my wits faints.

Switch and spurs, switch and spurs, or I'll cry a match.

Nay, if our wits run the wild-goose chase, I am done. 11751164For thou hast more of the wild goose in one of thy wits, than I 11761165am sure I have in my whole five. Was I with you there for the 11771166goose?

Thou wast never with me for anything when thou wast 11791168not there for the goose.

I will bite thee by the ear for that jest.

Nay, good goose, bite not.

Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting; it is a most sharp sauce.

And is it not then well served into a sweet goose?

O, here's a wit of cheverel, that stretches from an 11861174inch narrow to an ell broad.

I stretch it out for that word "broad," which added to the 11881176goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose.

Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? Now 11901178art thou sociable, now art thou Romeo, now art thou what thou 11911179art, by art as well as by nature, for this driveling love is like a 11921180great natural that runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble 11931181in a hole.

Stop there, stop there.

Thou desirest me to stop in my tale against the hair?

Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large.

O, thou art deceived; I would have made it short, for I 11981186was come to the whole depth of my tale, and meant indeed to 11991187occupy the argument no longer.

Here's goodly gear. Enter Nurse and her man, Peter.

12021189A sail, a sail!

Two, two! A shirt and a smock.

Peter!

Anon.

My fan, Peter.

Good Peter, to hide her face, for her fan's the fairer face.

[To Romeo, Benvolio, and Mercutio]God ye good morrow, gentlemen.

God ye good e'en, fair gentlewoman.

Is it good e'en?

'Tis no less I tell ye, for the bawdy hand of the dial 12131199is now upon the prick of noon.

Out upon you! What a man are you?

One, gentlewoman, that God hath made, himself to mar.

By my troth it is well said: "for himself to mar," quoth 'a? 12181203Gentlemen, can any of you tell me where I may find the young Romeo?

I can tell you, but young Romeo will be older when you 12211205have found him than he was when you sought him. I am the 12221206youngest of that name, for fault of a worse.

You say well.

Yea, is the worst well? Very well took, i'faith, wisely, wisely.

If you be he, sir, I desire some confidence with you.

She will indite him to some supper.

A bawd, a bawd, a bawd! So ho!

What hast thou found?

No hare, sir, unless a hare, sir, in a Lenten pie, that is 12321214something stale and hoar ere it be spent.

12371219Romeo, will you come to your father's? We'll to dinner thither.

I will follow you.

Farewell, ancient lady, farewell lady, [sings] "lady, lady."

I pray you, sir, what saucy merchant was this that was 12441224so full of his ropery?

A gentleman, Nurse, that loves to hear himself talk 12461226and will speak more in a minute than he will stand to in a 12471227month.

And 'a speak anything against me, I'll take him down 12491229an 'a were lustier than he is, and twenty such jacks, and if I 12501230cannot, I'll find those that shall. Scurvy knave, I am none 12511231of his flirt gills, I am none of his skains-mates.--[To Peter] And thou must 12521232stand by too and suffer every knave to use me at his 12531233pleasure?

I saw no man use you at his pleasure. If I had, my weapon 12551235should quickly have been out. I warrant you, I dare draw as soon 12561236as another man, if I see occasion in a good quarrel, and the law on 12571237my side.

Now, afore God, I am so vexed, that every part about me 12591239quivers. Scurvy knave! [To Romeo]Pray you, sir, a word. And as I told you, 12601240my young lady bid me inquire you out; what she bid me say, I 12611241will keep to myself, but first let me tell ye, if ye should lead 12621242her in a fool's paradise, as they say, it were a very gross kind of 12631243behavior as they say. For the gentlewoman is young, and 12641244therefore, if you should deal double with her, truly it were an ill 12651245thing to be offered to any gentlewoman and very weak 12661246dealing.

Nurse, commend me to thy lady and mistress, I 12681248protest unto thee.

Good heart, and i'faith I will tell her as much. Lord, Lord, 12701250she will be a joyful woman.

What wilt thou tell her, Nurse? Thou dost not mark 12721252me.

I will tell her, sir, that you do protest, which, as I take it, 12741254is a gentlemanlike offer.

Bid her devise some means to come to shrift this afternoon,

2.4.8512761256And there she shall at Friar Laurence' cell

2.4.8612771257Be shrived and married. Here is for thy pains.

No. Truly, sir, not a penny.

Go to, I say you shall.[Nurse accepts the money.]

This afternoon, sir? Well, she shall be there.

And stay, good Nurse, behind the abbey wall

2.4.9212821262Within this hour my man shall be with thee

2.4.9312831263And bring thee cords made like a tackled stair,

2.4.9412841264Which to the high topgallant of my joy

2.4.9512851265Must be my convoy in the secret night.

2.4.9612861266Farewell, be trusty, and I'll quit thy pains.

2.4.9712871267Farewell, commend me to thy mistress.

Now God in heaven bless thee! Hark you, sir.

What sayst thou, my dear Nurse?

Is your man secret? Did you ne'er hear say: "Two may keep 12911271counsel, putting one away"?

Warrant thee, my man's as true as steel.

Well, sir, my mistress is the sweetest lady--Lord, Lord, 12941274when 'twas a litle prating thing.--O, there is a nobleman in town, 12951275one Paris, that would fain lay knife aboard, but she, good soul, 12961276had as lief see a toad, a very toad, as see him. I anger her 12971277sometimes and tell her that Paris is the properer man, but I'll warrant 12981278you, when I say so, she looks as pale as any clout in the versal 12991279world. Doth not rosemary and Romeo begin both with a 13001280letter?

Ay, Nurse, what of that? Both with an R.

A mocker! That's the dog's name. R is for the--no, I know 13031283it begins with some other letter--and she hath the prettiest 13041284sententious of it, of you and rosemary, that it would do you good 13051285to hear it.

Commend me to thy lady.[Exit Romeo]

Ay, a thousand times.--[To Peter] Peter.

Anon.

Before and apace.