538Sum. I have the Law to warrant what I do, and though

539the Lord Cobham be a Nobleman, that dispenses not with

540Law, I dare serve a Process were he five Noble men,

541though we Sumners make sometimes a mad slip in a cor-

542ner with a pretty wench, a Sumner must not go alwaies

543by seeing: a man may be content to hide his eyes where

544he may feel his profit. Well, this is Lord Cobham's house,

545if I cannot speak with him, I'le clap my citation upon's

546door, so my Lord of Rochester bad me; but me thinks

547here comes one of his men.

548Har. Welcome good fellow, welcome, who would'st

549thou speak with?

550Sum. With my Lord Cobham I would speak; if thou

551be one of his men.

552Har Yes, I am one of his men, but thou can'st not

553speak with my Lord.

554Sum. May I send to him then?

555Har. I'le tell thee that, when I know thy errand,

556Sum. I will not tell my errand to thee.

557Har. Then keep it to thy self, and walk like a knave

558as thou camest.

559Sum. I'tell thee, my Lord keeps no knaves, sirrah.

560Har. Then thou servest him not, I believe. What

561Lord is thy Master?

562Sum. My Lord of Rochester.

563Har. In good time: and what would'st thou have

564with my Lord Cobham?

565Sum. I come by vertue of a Process, to scite him to

566appear before my Lord in the Court at Rochester.

567Har. aside. Well, God grant me patience, I could eat

568this Counger. My Lord is not at home, therefore it

569were good Sumner, you carried your Process back.

570Sum. Why, if he will not be spoken withall, then will

571I leave it here, and see that he take knowledge of it.

572Hnr. Zounds you slave, do you set up your bills here;

573go too, take it down again. Do'st thou know what thou

574do'st? Do'st thou know on whom thou servest a Process?

575Sum. Yes marry do I, on Sir John Oldcastle, Lord

576Cobham.

577Har.I am glad thou knowest him yet; and sirrah,

578do'st not know that the Lord Cobham is a brave Lord,

579that keeps good Beef and Beer in his house, and every

580day feeds a hundred poor people at's Gate, and keeps a

581hundred tall fellows?

582Sum. What's that to my Process?

583Har. Marry this, sir, is this process parchment?

584Sum. Yes marry is it.

585Har. And this Seal wax?

586Sum. It is so.

587Har. If this be parchment, and this wax, eat you this

588parchment and this wax, or I will make parchment of

589your skin, and beat your brains into wax. Sirrah, Sumner,

590dispatch, devour sirrah, devour.

591Sum. I am my Lord of Rochester's Sumner, I came to

592to do my office, and thou shalt answer it.

593Har.Sirrah, no railing; but betake your self to your

594teeth, thou shalt eat no worse then thou bring'st with thee,

595thou bring'st it for my Lord, and wilt thou bring my

596Lord worse then thou wilt eat thy self?

597Sum. Sir, I brought it not my Lord to eat.

598Har. O do you sir me now; all's one for that, I'le

599make you eat it, for bringing it.

600Sum. I cannot eat it.

601Har. Can you not? sbloud I'le beat you till you have

603Sum. O hold, hold, good M. Servingman, I will eat it.

604Har. Be champing, be chawing, sir, or I'le chaw you,

605you rogue, the purest of the honey.

606Sum. Tough wax is the purest hony.

607Har. O Lord, sir, oh, oh,

608Feed, feed, 'tis wholsome, Rogue, wholsome.

609Cannot you like an honest Sumner, walk with the Devil

610your brother, to fetch in your Bailiff's rents; but you

611must come to a Noble mans house with processe? If thy

612Seal were as broad as the Lead that covers Rochester

613Church, thou should'st eat it.

614Sum. O, I am almost choaked, I am almost choaked.

615Har. Who's within there? will you shame my Lord,

616is there no beer in the house? Butler I say.

619There: tough old sheepskins, bare dry meat.

620Sum. O sir, let me go no further, I'le eat my word.

621Har. Yea marry sir, I mean ye shall eat more then

622your own word, for I'le make you eat all the words in the

623Process. Why you drab-monger, cannot the secrets of all

624the wenches in a Shire serve your turn, but you must come

625hither with a citation with a pox? I'le cite you.

626A cup of Sack for the Sumner.

627But. Here, sir, here.

628Har. Here, slave, I drink to thee.

629Sum. I thank you, sir.

630Har. Now if thou find'st thy stomack well, because

631thou shalt see my Lord keeps meat in's house, if thou wilt

632go in, thou shalt have a piece of beef to thy break-fast.

633Sum. No I am very well, good M. Servingman, I

634thank you, very well, sir.

635Har. I am glad on't, then be walking towards Roche-

636ster to keep your stomack warme. And Sumner, If I do

637know you disturb a good wench within this Diocesse, if

638I do not make thee eat her petticoat, if there were four

639yards of Kentish cloth in't, I am a villain.

642Con. Save you, M. Harpool.

643Har.Welcome Constable, welcome Constable, what

644news with thee?

645Con. And't please you, M. Harpool, I am to make hue

646and cry for a fellow with one eye, that has rob'd two

647Clothiers, and am to crave your hindrance to search all

648suspected places; and they say there was a woman in the

649company.

650Har. Hast thou been at the Ale-house? hast thou

651sought there?

652Con. I durst not search in my Lord Cobham's liberty,

653except I had some of his servants for my warrant.

654Har An honest Constable, call forth him that keeps

655the Ale-house there.

656Con. Ho, who's within there?

657Ale-m. Who calls there? Oh is't you, M. Constable,

658and M. Harpool? y'are welcome with all my heart, what

659make you here so early this morning?

660Har. Sirra, what strangers do you lodge? there is a

661robbery done this morning, and we are to search for all

662suspected persons.

663Ale man. Gods bores, I am sorry for't. Ifaith, sir, I

664lodge no body but a good honest Priest, call'd Sir John

665a Wrotham, and a handsome woman that is his Neece,

666that he saies has some suit in law for, and as they go up

667and down to London, sometimes they lye at my house.

668Har.What, is she here in thy house now?

669Ale-m. She is, sir: I promise you, sir, he is a quiet

670man, and because he will not trouble too many rooms, he

671makes the woman lye every night at his beds feet.

672Har. Bring her forth, Constable, bring her forth, let's

673see her, let's see her.

676Har. Welcome, sweet Lasse, welcome.

677Dol. I thank you, good sir, and M. Constable also.

678Har. A plump girle by the Masse, a plump girle: ha,

679Dol, ha. Wilt thou forsake the Priest, and go with me

680Doll?

681Con.A well said M. Harpool, you are a merry old

682man ifaith; you will never be old now by the mack, a

683pretty wench indeed.

684Har. Ye old mad merry Constable, art thou advis'd

685of that? Ha, well said Doll, fill some Ale here.

686Doll aside. Oh if I wist this old Priest would not stick

687to me, by Jove I would ingle this old serving-man.

688Har. Oh you old mad colt, ifaith I'le ferk you: fill

689all the pots in the house there.

690Con. Oh well said M. Harpool, you are heart of oak

691when all's done.

692Harp. Ha Dol, thou hast a sweet pair of lips by the

693Masse.

694Dol. Truly you are a most sweet old man, as ever I

695saw; by my troth, you have a face able to make any wo-

696man in love with you.

697Har. Fill, sweet Doll, I'le drink to thee.

698Doll. I pledge you, sir, and thank you therefore, and

699I pray you let it come.

700Harp. Imbracing her. Doll, canst thou love me? a

701mad merry Lasse, would to God I had never seen thee.

702Dol. I warrant you, you will not out of my thoughts

703this twelvemonth, truly you are as full of favour, as any

704man may be. Ah these sweet gray locks, by my troth,

705they are most lovely.

706Con. Cuds bores, M. Harpool, I'le have one buss too.

707Har. No licking for you, Constable, hand off, hand off.

708Con. Berlady I love kissing as well as you.

709Dol. Oh you are an odde boy, you have a wanton eye

710of your own: ah you sweet sugar-lipt wanton, you will

711win as many womens hearts as come in your company.

713Priest. Doll, come hither.

714Har. Priest, she shall not.

715Dol. I'le come anon, sweet love.

716Priest. Hand off, old fornicator.

717Har. Vicar, I'le sit here in spight of thee, is this stuff

718for a Priest to carry up and down with him?

719Priest. Sirra, do'st thou not know that a good fellow

720parson may have a chappel of ease, where his parish

721Church is far off?

722Har. You whorson ston'd Vicar.

723Priest. You old stale Ruffin, you Lion of Cotsoll.

725Con. Keep the Kings peace.

726Dol. Murder, murder, murder.

727Ale-m. Hold, as you are men, hold; for Gods sake be

728quiet: put up your weapons, you draw not in my house.

729Har. You whorson bawdy Priest.

730Priest. You old mutton-monger.

731Con. Hold, Sir John, hold.

732Dol. I pray thee, sweet heart, be quiet, I was but sit-

733ting to drink a pot of Ale with him, even as kind a man

734as ever I met with.

735Har. Thou art a Thief, I warrant thee.

736Priest. Then I am but as thou hast been in thy dayes,

737let's not be ashamed of our Trade, the King has been a

738Thief himself.

739Dol. Come, be quiet, hast thou sped?

740Pri. I have wench, here be crowns ifaith.

741Dol. Come, let's be all friends then.

742Con. Well said Mistris Dorothy.

743Har. Thou art the maddest Priest that ever I met with.

744Pri.Give me thy hand, thou art as good a fellow:

745I am a singer, a drinker, a bencher, a wencher; I can say

746a Masse, and kisse a Lasse: Faith, I have a Parsonage,

747and because I would not be at too much charges, this

748wench serveth me for a Sexton.

749Harp. Well said mad Priest, we'll in and be friends.