Ah, Gonorill, what dire unhappy chance

12.2946Hath sequestered thy father from our presence

12.3947That no report can yet be heard of him?

12.4948Some great unkindness hath been offered him,

12.5949Exceeding far the bounds of patience,

12.6950Else all the world shall never me persuade

12.7951He would forsake us without notice made.

Alas, my lord, whom doth it touch so near,

12.9953Or who hath interest in this grief but I,

12.10954Whom sorrow had brought to her longest home,

12.11955But that I know his qualities so well?

12.12956I know he is but stol'n upon my sister

12.13957At unawares to see her how she fares

12.14958And spend a little time with her, to note

12.15959How all things go and how she likes her choice;

12.16960And when occasion serves, he'll steal from her

12.17961And unawares return to us again.

12.18962Therefore, my lord, be frolic and resolve

12.19963To see my father here again ere long.

I hope so too, but yet to be more sure

12.21965I'll send a post immediately to know

12.22966Whether he be arrivèd there or no.

But I will intercept the messenger

12.24968And temper him, before he doth depart,

12.25969With sweet persuasions and with sound rewards,

12.26970That his report shall ratify my speech

12.27971And make my lord cease further to inquire.

12.28972If he be not gone to my sister's court,

12.29973As sure my mind presageth that he is,

12.30974He haply may, by travelling unknown ways,

12.31975Fall sick, and as a common passenger

12.32976Be dead and buried. Would God it were so well,

12.33977For then there were no more to do but this:

12.34978"He went away, and none knows where he is."

12.35979But say he be in Cambria with the king

12.36980And there exclaim against me, as he will;

12.37981I know he is as welcome to my sister

12.38982As water is into a broken ship.

12.39983Well, after him I'll send such thunderclaps

12.40984Of slander, scandal, and invented tales

12.41985That all the blame shall be removed from me

12.42986And, unperceived, rebound upon himself.

12.43987Thus with one nail another I'll expel,

12.44988And make the world judge that I used him well.

My honest friend, whither away so fast?

To Cambria, madam, with letters from the king.

To whom?

Unto your father, if he be there.

Let me see them.

Madam, I hope your grace will stand 997between me and my neck-verse if I be 998called in question for opening the king's letters.

'Twas I that opened them; it was not thou.

Ay, but you need not care, and so must I, 1001a handsome man, be quickly trussed up; 1002and when a man's hanged, all the world cannot save him.

He that hangs thee were better hang his father,

12.541004Or that but hurts thee in the least degree.

12.551005I tell thee, we make great account of thee.

I am o'erjoyed; I surfeit of sweet words.

12.571007Kind Queen, had I a hundred lives, I would

12.581008Spend ninety-nine of them for you for that word.

Ay, but thou wouldst keep one life still,

12.601010And that's as many as thou art like to have.

That one life is not too dear for my good queen: this 1012sword, this buckler, this head, this heart, these hands, arms, 1013legs, tripes, bowels, and all the members else whatsoever, are at 1014your dispose. Use me, trust me, command me; if I fail in any1015thing, tie me to a dung cart and make a scavenger's horse of 1016me, and whip me so long as I have any skin on my back.

In token of further employment, take that.

A strong bond, a firm obligation, good in law, good 1020in law. If I keep not the condition, let my neck be the forfei1021ture of my negligence.

I like thee well; thou hast a good tongue.

And as bad a tongue, if it be set on it, as any oysterwife 1024at Billingsgate hath. Why, I have made many of my neighbors 1025forsake their houses with railing upon them, and go dwell 1026elsewhere, and so, by my means, houses have been good cheap in 1027our parish. My tongue being well whetted with choler is more 1028sharp than a razor of Palermo.

Oh, thou art a fit man for my purpose.

Commend me not, sweet Queen, before you try me.

12.681031As my deserts are, so do think of me.

Well said. Then this is thy trial: instead of carrying 1033the king's letters to my father, carry thou these letters to my 1034sister, which contain matter quite contrary to the other. There 1035shall she be given to understand that my father hath detracted 1036her, given out slanderous speeches against her, and that he 1037hath most intolerably abused me, set my lord and me 1038at variance, and made mutinies amongst the commons.

12.701039These things -- although it be not so --

12.711040Yet thou must affirm them to be true

12.721041With oaths and protestations as will serve

12.731042To drive my sister out of love with him

12.741043And cause my will accomplishèd to be.

12.751044This do, thou winn'st my favor forever,

12.761045And makst a highway of preferment to thee

12.771046And all thy friends.

It sufficeth; conceit, it is already done. 1048I will so tongue-whip him that I will 1049leave him as bare of credit 1050as a poulter leaves a cony when she pulls off his skin.

Yet there is a further matter.

I thirst to hear it.

If my sister thinketh convenient, as my letters 1054importeth, to make him away, hast thou the heart to 1055effect it?

Few words are best in so small a matter;

12.831057These are but trifles. By this book I will.

About it presently; I long till it be done.

I fly, I fly.