875Anti. What claime laies she to thee?

876Dro. Marry sir, such claime as you would lay to your

877horse, and she would haue me as a beast, not that I bee-

878ing a beast she would haue me, but that she being a ve-

879rie beastly creature layes claime to me.

880Anti. What is she?

881Dro. A very reuerent body: I such a one, as a man

882may not speake of, without he say sir reuerence, I haue

883but leane lucke in the match, and yet is she a wondrous

884fat marriage.

885Anti. How dost thou meane a fat marriage?

886Dro. Marry sir, she's the Kitchin wench, & al grease,

887and I know not what vse to put her too, but to make a

888Lampe of her, and run from her by her owne light. I

889warrant, her ragges and the Tallow in them, will burne

890a Poland Winter: If she liues till doomesday, she'l burne

891a weeke longer then the whole World.

892Anti. What complexion is she of?

893Dro. Swart like my shoo, but her face nothing like

894so cleane kept: for why? she sweats a man may goe o-

895uer-shooes in the grime of it.

896Anti. That's a fault that water will mend.

897Dro. No sir, 'tis in graine, Noahs flood could not

898do it.

899Anti. What's her name?

900Dro. Nell Sir: but her name is three quarters, that's

901an Ell and three quarters, will not measure her from hip

902to hip.

903Anti. Then she beares some bredth?

904Dro. No longer from head to foot, then from hippe

905to hippe: she is sphericall, like a globe: I could find out

906Countries in her.

907Anti. In what part of her body stands Ireland?

908Dro. Marry sir in her buttockes, I found it out by

909the bogges.

910Ant. Where Scotland?

911Dro. I found it by the barrennesse, hard in the palme

912of the hand.

913Ant. Where France?

914Dro. In her forhead, arm'd and reuerted, making

915warre against her heire.

916Ant. Where England?

917Dro. I look'd for the chalkle Cliffes, but I could find

918no whitenesse in them. But I guesse, it stood in her chin

919by the salt rheume that ranne betweene France, and it.

920Ant. Where Spaine?

921Dro. Faith I saw it not: but I felt it hot in her breth.

922Ant. Where America, the Indies?

923Dro. Oh sir, vpon her nose, all ore embellished with

924Rubies, Carbuncles, Saphires, declining their rich As-

925pect to the hot breath of Spaine, who sent whole Ar-

926madoes of Carrects to be ballast at her nose.

927Anti. Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands?

928Dro. Oh sir, I did not looke so low. To conclude,

929this drudge or Diuiner layd claime to mee, call'd mee

930Dromio, swore I was assur'd to her, told me what priuie

931markes I had about mee, as the marke of my shoulder,

932the Mole in my necke, the great Wart on my left arme,

933that I amaz'd ranne from her as a witch. And I thinke,

if

934my brest had not beene made of faith, and my heart of

935steele, she had transform'd me to a Curtull dog, & made

936me turne i'th wheele.

937Anti. Go hie thee presently, post to the rode,

938And if the winde blow any way from shore,

939I will not harbour in this Towne to night.

940If any Barke put forth, come to the Mart,

941Where I will walke till thou returne to me:

942If euerie one knowes vs, and we know none,

943'Tis time I thinke to trudge, packe, and be gone.

944Dro. As from a Beare a man would run for life,

945So flie I from her that would be my wife. Exit

946Anti. There's none but Witches do inhabite heere,

947And therefore 'tis hie time that I were hence:

948She that doth call me husband, euen my soule

949Doth for a wife abhorre. But her faire sister

950Possest with such a gentle soueraigne grace,

951Of such inchanting presence and discourse,

952Hath almost made me Traitor to my selfe:

953But least my selfe be guilty to selfe wrong,

954Ile stop mine eares against the Mermaids song.

956Ang. Mr Antipholus.

957Anti. I that's my name.

958Ang. I know it well sir, loe here's the chaine,

959I thought to haue tane you at the Porpentine,

960The chaine vnfinish'd made me stay thus long.

961Anti. What is your will that I shal do with this?

962Ang. What please your selfe sir: I haue made it for

963you.

964Anti. Made it for me sir, I bespoke it not.

965Ang. Not once, nor twice, but twentie times you

966haue:

967Go home with it, and please your Wife withall,

968And soone at supper time Ile visit you,

969And then receiue my money for the chaine.

970Anti. I pray you sir receiue the money now.

971For feare you ne're see chaine, nor mony more.

972Ang. You are a merry man sir, fare you well. Exit.

973Ant. What I should thinke of this, I cannot tell:

974But this I thinke, there's no man is so vaine,

975That would refuse so faire an offer'd Chaine.

976I see a man heere needs not liue by shifts,

977When in the streets he meetes such Golden gifts:

978Ile to the Mart, and there for Dromio stay,

979If any ship put out, then straight away. Exit.

982Mar. You know since Pentecost the sum is due,

983And since I haue not much importun'd you,

984Nor now I had not, but that I am bound

985To Persia, and want Gilders for my voyage:

986Therefore make present satisfaction,

987Or Ile attach you by this Officer.

988Gold. Euen iust the sum that I do owe to you,

989Is growing to me by Antipholus,

990And in the instant that I met with you,

991He had of me a Chaine, at fiue a clocke

992I shall receiue the money for the same:

993Pleaseth you walke with me downe to his house,

994I will discharge my bond, and thanke you too.

996Offi. That labour may you saue: See where he comes.

997Ant. While I go to the Goldsmiths house, go thou