Beshrew me, but it was an absolute good jest, and exceedingly well carried.

Ay, and our ignorance maintained it as well, did it not?

Yes, faith; but was't possible thou shouldst not know him?

'Fore God, not I, an I might have been joined patent with one of the Nine Worthies for knowing him. 'Sblood, man, he had 1259so writhen himself into the habit of one of your poor desperviews, your decayed, 1260ruinous, worm-eaten gentlemen of the round, such as have vowed to sit on the 1261skirts of the city (let your provost and his half-dozen of halberdiers do what 1262they can), and have translated begging out of the old hackney pace to a 1263fine, easy amble, and made it run as smooth off the tongue as a 1264shove-groat shilling. Into the likeness of one of these lean Pirgos had he molded 1265himself so perfectly, observing every trick of their action -- as varying the accent, 1266swearing with an emphasis, indeed all with so special and exquisite a grace -- 1267that, hadst thou seen him, thou wouldst have sworn he might have been the 1268Tamburlaine or the Agamemnon of the rout.

Why, Musco, who would have thought thou hadst been such a gallant?

I cannot tell; but unless a man had juggled begging 1271all his lifetime and been a weaver of phrases from his infancy for the 1272appareling of it, I think the world cannot produce his rival.

[To Musco] Where got'st thou this coat, I mar'l?

Faith, sir, I had it of one of the devil's near kinsmen: a broker.

That cannot be, if the proverb hold, "A crafty knave needs no broker."

True, sir, but I need a broker, ergo no crafty knave.

Well put off, well put off.

Tut, he has more of these shifts.

And yet, where I have one, the broker has ten, sir.

[Calling] Francisco! Martino! -- Ne'er a one to be found now. What a spite's this!

How now, Piso? Is my brother within?

No, sir, my master went forth e'en now, but Signor Giuliano is within.

[Calling] Cob! What, Cob! -- Is he gone too?

Whither went thy master, Piso, canst thou tell?

I know not; to Doctor Clement's, I think, sir.

[Calling] Cob! Exit Piso.

Doctor Clement -- what's he? I have heard much speech of him.

Why, dost thou not know him? He is the gonfaloniere of 1288the state here, an excellent rare civilian and a great scholar, but the only mad, merry old fellow in Europe. I showed him you the other day.

Oh, I remember him now. Good faith, and he hath 1291a very strange presence, methinks. It shows as if he stood out of the 1292rank from other men. I have heard many of his jests in Padua. They 1293say he will commit a man for taking the wall of his horse.

Ay, or wearing his cloak of one shoulder, or anything, indeed, if it come in the way of his humor.

[Calling] Gasper, Martino, Cob! -- 'Sheart, where should they be, trow?

[To Piso] Signor Thorello's man, I pray thee, vouchsafe us the lighting of this match.

A pox on your match! No time but now to "vouchsafe"? [Calling] Francisco! Cob! Exit.

[Taking out a tobacco box] Body of me, here's the remainder 1301of seven pound since yesterday was sevennight. It's your right Trinidado. Did you never 1302take any, signor?

No, truly, sir, but I'll learn to take it now, since you commend it so.

Signor, believe me, upon my relation, for what I tell you 1305the world shall not improve. I have been in the Indies, where this herb 1306grows, where neither myself nor a dozen gentlemen more, of my knowledge, have received 1307the taste of any other nutriment in the world for the space of one-and-twenty 1308weeks but tobacco only. Therefore, it cannot be but 'tis most divine. Further, take 1309it in the nature, in the true kind so, it makes an antidote that, 1310had you taken the most deadly poisonous simple in all Florence, it should expel 1311it and clarify you with as much ease as I speak. And for your green wound, your balsamum and your -- are all mere gulleries and trash to 1313it, especially your Trinidado. Your Nicotian is good, too. I could say what I 1314know of the virtue of it for the exposing of rheums, raw humors, crudities, 1315obstructions, with a thousand of this kind, but I profess myself no quacksalver. Only 1316thus much, by Hercules: I do hold it and will affirm it before any 1317prince in Europe to be the most sovereign and precious herb that ever the earth tendered to the use of man.

[Aside to Prospero] Oh, this speech would have done rare in a pothecary's mouth!

[To Cob] Ay, close by Saint Anthony's, Doctor Clement's.

Oh, oh!

[To Piso] Where's the match I gave thee?

'Sblood, would his match, and he, and pipe, and all were at Sancto Domingo! Exit.

By God's deynes, I mar'l what pleasure or felicity they have 1325in taking this roguish tobacco. It's good for nothing but to choke a man 1326and fill him full of smoke and embers. There were four died out of 1327one house last week with taking of it, and two more the bell went 1328for yesternight. One of them, they say, will ne'er scape it; he voided a 1329bushel of soot yesterday, upward and downward. By the stocks, an there were no 1330wiser men than I, I'd have it present death, man or woman, that should 1331but deal with a tobacco pipe. Why, it will stifle them all in th'end, 1332as many as use it; it's little better than ratsbane.

3.2.431335ALL Oh, good signor, hold, hold!

You base cullion, you!

[Handing the lighted flammable material back to Bobadilla] Sir, here's your 1339match. [To Cob] Come, thou must needs be talking, too.

Nay, he will not meddle with his match, I warrant you. Well, it shall be a dear beating, an I live.

[Threatening Cob] Do you prate?

[To Bobadilla] Nay, good signor, will you regard the humor of a fool? [To Cob] Away, knave!

Piso, get him away.

A whoreson, filthy slave, a turd, an excrement! Body of Caesar, 1345but that I scorn to let forth so mean a spirit, I'd have stabbed 1346him to the earth.

Marry, God forbid, sir.

By this fair heaven, I would have done it.

[To himself] Oh, he swears admirably! "By this fair heaven," "Body of Caesar" -- I shall 1350never do it, sure. "Upon my salvation" -- no, I have not the right grace. [The 1351gentlemen smoke.]

[Offering tobacco to Lorenzo Jr.] Signor, will you any? By this air, the most divine tobacco as ever I drunk.

I thank you, sir.

[To himself] Oh, this gentleman doth it rarely too, but nothing 1355like the other. [He practices fencing at a post.] "By this air!" "As I am a gentleman!" "By Phoebus!" Exeunt Bobadilla 1356and Matheo.

[Aside to Lorenzo Jr.] Master, glance, glance! -- Signor Prospero!

As I have a soul to be saved, I do protest --

[Aside] That you are a fool.

[To Stephano] Cousin, will you any tobacco?

[Taking tobacco] Ay, sir, upon my salvation.

How now, cousin?

I protest, as I am a gentleman, but no soldier, indeed.

No, signor? As I remember, you served on a great horse last general muster.

Ay, sir, that's true. -- Cousin, may I swear "as I am a soldier" by that?

Oh, yes, that you may.

Then, as I am a gentleman and a soldier, it is divine tobacco.

But soft, where's Signor Matheo? Gone?

No, sir, they went in here.

Oh, let's follow them. Signor Matheo is gone to salute his mistress.

[To Lorenzo Jr.] Sirrah, now thou shalt hear some of his verses, for 1372he never comes hither without some shreds of poetry. -- Come, Signor Stephano, Musco.

Musco? Where? Is this Musco?

Ay, but peace, cousin, no words of it at any hand.

Not I, by this fair heaven, as I have a soul to be saved, by Phoebus.

[Aside to Lorenzo Jr.] Oh, rare! Your cousin's discourse is simply suited, all in oaths.

[Aside to Prospero] Ay, he lacks nothing but a little 1378light stuff to draw them out withal, and he were rarely fitted to the 1379time.