Internet Shakespeare Editions

Author: William Shakespeare
Editor: Randall Martin
Not Peer Reviewed

Anthony and Cleopatra (Modern)

[2.5]
Enter Cleopatra, Charmian, Iras, and Alexas.
1025Cleopatra
Give me some music, music, moody food
Of us that trade in love.
Charmian, Iras, and Alexas
The music, ho!
Enter Mardian the Eunuch.
Cleopatra
Let it alone, let's to billiards. Come, Charmian.
1030Charmian
My arm is sore; best play with Mardian.
Cleopatra
As well a woman with an eunuch played,
As with a woman. Come, you'll play with me, sir?
Mardian
As well as I can, madam.
Cleopatra
And when good will is showed, 1035though't come too short
The actor may plead pardon. I'll none now.
Give me mine angle, we'll to'th'river: there,
My music playing far off, I will betray
Tawny fine fishes; my bended hook shall pierce
1040Their slimy jaws, and as I draw them up,
I'll think them every one an Antony,
And say "ah ha! y'are caught!"
Charmian
'Twas merry when
You wagered on your angling, when your diver
Did hang a salt fish on his hook, 1045which he
With fervency drew up.
Cleopatra
That time? Oh times!
I laughed him out of patience, and that night
I laughed him into patience, and next morn,
Ere the ninth hour, I drunk him to his bed;
1050Then put my 'tires and mantles on him whilst
I wore his sword Phillipan.
Enter a Messenger.
Oh, from Italy!
Ram thou the fruitful tidings in mine ears
That long time have been barren.
1055Messenger
Madam, madam--
Cleopatra
Antonio's dead. If thou say so, villain,
Thou kill'st thy mistress. But well and free,
If thou so yield him, there is gold, and here
1060My bluest veins to kiss, a hand that kings
Have lipped, and trembled kissing.
Messenger
First, madam, he is well.
Cleopatra
Why, there's more gold. But sirrah, mark, we use
1065To say the dead are well. Bring it to that,
The gold I give thee will I melt and pour
Down thy ill-uttering throat.
Messenger
Good madam, hear me.
Cleopatra
Well, go to, I will.
1070But there's no goodness in thy face if Antony
Be free and healthful--so tart a favor
To trumpet such good tidings! If not well,
Thou shouldst come like a Fury crowned with snakes,
Not like a formal man.
1075Messenger
Wilt please you hear me?
Cleopatra
I have a mind to strike thee ere thou speak'st:
Yet if thou say Antony lives, is well;
Or friends with Caesar, or not captive to him,
I'll set thee in a shower of gold, and hail
1080Rich pearls upon thee.
Messenger
Madam, he's well.
Cleopatra
Well said.
Messenger
And friends with Caesar.
Cleopatra
Th'art an honest man.
1085Messenger
Caesar and he are greater friends than ever.
Cleopatra
Make thee a fortune from me.
Messenger
But yet, madam--
Cleopatra
I do not like "but yet"; it does allay
The good precedence. Fie upon "but yet'"!
1090"But yet" is as a jailer to bring forth
Some monstrous malefactor. Prithee, friend,
Pour out the pack of matter to mine ear,
The good and bad together. He's friends with Caesar,
In state of health, thou say'st, and, thou say'st, free.
1095Messenger
Free, madam, no. I made no such report.
He's bound unto Octavia.
Cleopatra
For what good turn?
Messenger
For the best turn i'th'bed.
Cleopatra
I am pale, Charmian.
1100Messenger
Madam, he's married to Octavia.
Cleopatra
The most infectious pestilence upon thee!
[She] strikes him.
Messenger
Good madam, patience!
Cleopatra
What say you?
[She] strikes him.
1105Hence,
Horrible villain, or I'll spurn thine eyes
Like balls before me; I'll unhair thy head,
She hales him up and down.
Thou shalt be whipped with wire, and stewed in brine,
Smarting in ling'ring pickle.
1110Messenger
Gracious madam,
I that do bring the news made not the match.
Cleopatra
Say 'tis not so. A province I will give thee,
And make thy fortunes proud. The blow thou had'st
Shall make thy peace for moving me to rage,
1115And I will boot thee with what gift beside
Thy modesty can beg.
Messenger
He's married, madam.
Cleopatra
Rogue, thou hast lived too long.
[She draws] a knife.
Messenger
Nay then, I'll run! [He starts to run away].
1120What mean you, madam? I have made no fault.
Exit.
Charmian
Good madam, keep yourself within yourself.
The man is innocent.
Cleopatra
Some innocents 'scape not the thunderbolt.
Melt Egypt into Nile! And kindly creatures
1125Turn all to serpents! Call the slave again.
Though I am mad, I will not bite him. Call!
Charmian
He is afeared to come.
Cleopatra
I will not hurt him. [Exit Charmian].
These hands do lack nobility, that they strike
1130A meaner than myself, since I myself
Have given myself the cause.
Enter the Messenger again [with Charmian].
Come hither, sir.
Though it be honest, it is never good
To bring bad news. Give to a gracious message
1135An host of tongues, but let ill tidings tell
Themselves, when they be felt.
Messenger
I have done my duty.
Cleopatra
Is he married?
I cannot hate thee worser than I do,
1140If thou again say yes.
Messenger
He's married, madam.
Cleopatra
The Gods confound thee, dost thou hold there still?
Messenger
Should I lie, madam?
1145Cleopatra
Oh, I would thou didst,
So half my Egypt were submerged and made
A cistern for scaled snakes. Go, get thee hence.
Had'st thou Narcissus in thy face, to me
Thou would'st appear most ugly. He is married?
1150Messenger
I crave your highness' pardon.
Cleopatra
He is married?
Messenger
Take no offence, that I would not offend you.
To punish me for what you make me do
Seems much unequal. He's married to Octavia.
1155Cleopatra
Oh, that his fault should make a knave of thee,
That act not what th'art sure of. Get thee hence.
The merchandise which thou hast brought from Rome
Are all too dear for me. Lie they upon thy hand
And be undone by 'em.
[Exit Messenger.]
1160Charmian
Good your highness, patience.
Cleopatra
In praising Antony, I have dispraised Caesar.
Charmian
Many times, madam.
Cleopatra
I am paid for't now. Lead me from hence--
I faint--oh Iras, Charmian! 'Tis no matter.
1165Go to the fellow, good Alexas; bid him
Report the feature of Octavia. Her years,
Her inclination--let him not leave out
The color of her hair. Bring me word quickly.
[Exit Alexas.]
Let him for ever go. Let him not, Charmian!
1170Though he be painted one way like a Gorgon,
The other way's a Mars. [To Mardian] Bid you Alexas
Bring me word how tall she is. Pity me, Charmian,
But do not speak to me. Lead me to my chamber.
Exeunt.