55I Learne in this letter, that don Peter of Arragon

66comes this night to Messina.

77Mess. He is very neare by this, he was not three

88leagues off when I left him.

99Leona. How many gentlemen haue you lost in this action?

1110Mess. But few of any sort, and none of name.

1211Leona. A victory is twice it selfe, when the atchiuer brings

1312home ful numbers: I find here, that don Peter hath bestowed

1413much honour on a yong Florentine called Claudio.

1614Mess. Much deseru'd on his part, and equally remembred

1715by don Pedro, he hath borne himselfe beyond the promise of

1816his age, doing in the figure of a lamb, the feats of a lion, he hath

1917indeed better bettred expectation then you must expect of me

2018to tell you how.

2119Leo. He hath an vnckle here in Messina will be very much

2220glad of it.

2321Mess. I haue already deliuered him letters, and there ap-

2422peares much ioy in him, euen so much, that ioy could not shew

2523itselfe modest enough, without a badge of bitternesse.

2724Leo. Did he breake out into teares?

2825Mess. In great measure.

A2

2926Leo. A kind ouerflow of kindnesse, there are no faces truer

3027then those that are so washt, how much better is it to weepe at

3128ioy, then to ioy at weeping?

3229Beatr. I pray you, is Signior Mountanto returnd from the

3330warres or no?

3431Messen. I know none of that name, ladie, there was none

3532such in the army of any sort.

3633Leonato What is he that you aske for neece?

3734Hero My cosen meanes Signior Benedicke of Padua.

3835Mess. O hee's returnd, and as pleasant as euer he was.

3936Bea. He set vp his bills here in Messina, and challengde

4037Cupid at the Flight, and my vncles foole reading the chalenge

4138subscribde for Cupid, and challengde him at the Burbolt: I

4239pray you, how many hath he kild and eaten in these warres?

4340but how many hath he kild? for indeede I promised to eate all

4441of his killing.

4542Leo. Faith neece you taxe Signior Benedicke too much,

4643but heele be meet with you, I doubt it not.

4744Mess. He hath done good seruice lady in these warres.

4845Beat. You had musty vittaile, and he hath holpe to eate it,

4946he is a very valiaunt trencher man, he hath an excellent sto-

5047macke.

5148Mess. And a good souldier too, lady.

5249Beat. And a good souldiour to a Lady, but what is he to a

5350Lord?

5451Mess. A lord to a lord, a man to a man, stufft with al hono-

5552rable vertues.

5653Beat. It is so indeed, he is no lesse then a stuft man, but for

5754the stuffing wel, we are al mortall.

5855Leo. You must not, sir, mistake my neece, there is a kind

5956of mery warre betwixt Signior Benedicke and her, they neuer

6057meet but there's a skirmish of wit betweene them.

6258Beat. Alas he gets nothing by that, in our last conflict, 4 of his

6359fiue wits went halting off, and now is the whole man gouernd

6460with one, so that if he haue wit enough to keep himself warm,

6561let him beare it for a difference between himself and his horse,

6662for it is all the wealth that he hath left, to be known a reasona-

6863ble creature, who is his companion now? he hath euery month

6964a new sworne brother.

7065Mess. Ist possible?

7166Beat. Very easily possible, he weares his faith but as the fa-

7267shion of his hat, it euer changes with the next blocke.

7368Mess. I see lady the gentleman is not in your bookes.

7569Beat. No, and he were, I would burne my study, but I pray

7670you who is his companion? is there no yong squarer now that

7771will make a voyage with him to the diuell?

7972Mess. He is most in the companie of the right noble Clau-

8073dio.

8174Beat. O Lord, he will hang vpon him like a disease, hee is

8275sooner caught than the pestilence, and the taker runs present-

8376ly madde, God help the noble Claudio, if he haue caught the

8477Benedict, it will cost him a thousand pound ere a be cured.

8678Mess. I will holde friends with you Ladie.

8779Beat. Do good friend.

8880Leon. You will neuer runne madde niece.

8981Beat. No, not till a hote Ianuary.

9082Mess. Don Pedro is approacht.

9385Pedro Good signior Leonato, are you come to meet your

9486trouble: the fashion of the world is, to auoyd cost, and you in-

9587counter it.

9688Leon. Neuer came trouble to my house, in the likenesse of

9789your grace, for trouble being gone, comfort should remaine:

9890but when you depart from mee, sorrow abides, and happines

9991takes his leaue.

10092Pedro You embrace your charge too willingly: I thincke

10193this is your daughter.

10294Leonato Her mother hath many times tolde me so.

10395Bened. Were you in doubt sir that you askt her?

10496Leonato Signior Benedicke, no, for then were you a child.

10697Pedro You haue it full Benedicke, wee may ghesse by this,

10798what you are, being a man, truely the Lady fathers her selfe:

A3 be

10899be happy Lady, for you are like an honourable father.

110100Be. If Signior Leonato be her father, she would not haue

111101his head on her shoulders for all Messina as like him as she is.

113102Beat. I wonder that you will still be talking, signior Bene-

114103dicke, no body markes you.

115104Bene. What my deere lady Disdaine! are you yet liuing?

117105Bea. Is it possible Disdaine should die, while she hath such

118106meete foode to feede it, as signior Benedicke? Curtesie it selfe

119107must conuert to Disdaine, if you come in her presence.

121108Bene. Then is curtesie a turne-coate, but it is certaine I am

122109loued of all Ladies, onelie you excepted: and I would I could

123110finde in my heart that I had not a hard heart, for truely I loue

124111none.

125112Beat. A deere happinesse to women, they would else haue

126113beene troubled with a pernitious suter, I thanke God and my

127114cold blood, I am of your humour for that, I had rather heare

128115my dog barke at a crow, than a man sweare he loues me.

130116Bene. God keepe your Ladiship stil in that mind, so some

131117Gentleman or other shall scape a predestinate scratcht face.

133118Beat. Scratching could not make it worse, and twere such

134119a face as yours were.

135120Bene. Well, you are a rare parrat teacher.

136121Beat. A bird of my tongue, is better than a beast of yours.

138122Ben. I would my horse had the speed of your tongue, and

139123so good a continuer, but keep your way a Gods name, I haue

140124done.

141125Beat. You alwayes end with a iades tricke, I knowe you of

142126olde.

143127Pedro That is the summe of all: Leonato, signior Claudio,

144128and signior Benedicke, my deere friend Leonato, hath inuited

145129you all, I tell him we shall stay here, at the least a moneth, and

146130he heartily praies some occasion may detaine vs longer, I dare

147131sweare he is no hypocrite, but praies from his heart.

149132Leon. If you sweare, my lord, you shall not be forsworne,

150133let mee bidde you welcome, my lord, being reconciled to the

151134Prince your brother: I owe you all duetie.

153135Iohn I thanke you, I am not of many wordes, but I thanke

154136you

155137Leon. Please it your grace leade on?

156138Pedro Your hand Leonato, we wil go together.

158140Clau. Benedicke, didst thou note the daughter of Signior (Leonato?

160141Bene. I noted her not, but I lookte on her,

161142Clau. Is she not a modest yong ladie?

162143Bene. Do you question me as an honest man should doe,

163144for my simple true iudgement? or would you haue me speake

164145after my custome, as being a professed tyrant to their sex?

166146Claudio No, I pray thee speake in sober iudgement.

167147Bene. Why yfaith me thinks shees too low for a hie praise,

168148too browne for a faire praise, and too litle for a great praise, on-

169149lie this commendation I can affoord her, that were shee other

170150then she is, she were vnhansome, and being no other, but as she

171151is, I do not like her.

172152Claudio Thou thinkest I am in sport, I pray thee tell mee

173153truelie how thou lik'st her.

174154Bene. Would you buie her that you enquier after her?

176155Claudio Can the world buie such a iewel?

177156Bene. Yea, and a case to putte it into, but speake you this

178157with a sad brow? or doe you play the flowting iacke, to tell vs

179158Cupid is a good Hare-finder, and Vulcan a rare Carpenter:

180159Come, in what key shall a man take you to go in the song?

182160Claudio In mine eie, shee is the sweetest Ladie that euer I

183161lookt on.

184162Bened. I can see yet without spectacles, and I see no such

185163matter: theres her cosin, and she were not possest with a fury,

186164exceedes her as much in beautie, as the first of Maie dooth the

187165last of December: but I hope you haue no intent to turne hus-

188166band, haue you?

189167Claudio I would scarce trust my selfe, though I had sworne

190168the contrarie, if Hero would be my wife.

191169Bened. Ist come to this? in faith hath not the worlde one

192170man but he will weare his cappe with suspition? shall I neuer

193171see a batcheller of three score againe? go to yfaith, and thou wilt

194172needes thrust thy necke into a yoke, weare the print of it, and

195173sigh away sundaies: looke, don Pedro is returned to seeke you.

A4 Enter

198175Pedro What secret hath held you here, that you followed

199176not to Leonatoes?

200177Bene. I would your Grace would constraine me to tell.

202178Pedro I charge thee on thy allegeance.

203179Ben. You heare, Count Claudio, I can be secret as a dumb

204180man, I woulde haue you thinke so (but on my allegiance,

205181marke you this, on my allegiance) he is in loue, with who? now

206182that is your Graces part: marke how short his answer is, with

207183Hero Leonatoes short daughter.

209184Clau. If this were so, so were it vttred.

210185Bened. Like the olde tale, my Lord, it is not so, nor twas

211186not so: but indeede, God forbid it should be so.

212187Claudio If my passion change not shortly, God forbid it

213188should be otherwise.

214189Pedro Amen, if you loue her, for the Lady is very well

215190worthy.

216191Claudio You speake this to fetch me in, my Lord.

217192Pedro By my troth I speake my thought.

218193Claudio And in faith, my Lord, I spoke mine.

219194Bened. And by my two faiths and troths, my Lorde, I

220195spoke mine.

221196Clau. That I loue her, I feele.

222197Pedro That she is worthy, I know.

223198Bened. That I neither feele how she should be loued, nor

224199know how she should be worthie,

is the opinion that fire can

225200not melt out of me, I will die in it at the stake.

227201Pedro Thou wast euer an obstinate heretique in the de-

228202spight of Beauty.

229203Clau. And neuer could maintaine his part, but in the force

230204of his wil.

231205Bene. That a woman conceiued me, I thanke her: that she

232206brought me vp, I likewise giue her most humble thankes: but

233207that I will haue a rechate winded in my forehead, or hang my

234208bugle in an inuisible baldricke, all women shall pardon mee:

235209because I will not doe them the wrong to mistrust any, I will

236210doe my selfe the right to trust none: and the fine is, (for the

237211which I may go the finer,) I will liue a bacheller.

239212Pedro I shall see thee ere I die, looke pale with loue.

240213Bene. With anger, with sickenesse, or with hunger, my

241214Lord, not with loue: proue that euer I loose more blood with

242215loue then I will get againe with drinking, picke out mine eies

243216with a Ballad-makers penne, and hang me vp at the doore of a

244217brothel house for the signe of blinde Cupid.

246218Pedro Well, if euer thou dost fall from this faith, thou wilt

247219prooue a notable argument.

248220Bene. If I do, hang me in a bottle like a Cat, and shoote at

249221me, and he that hits me, let him be clapt on the shoulder, and

250222calld Adam.

251223Pedro Well, as time shal trie: in time the sauage bull doth

252224beare the yoake.

253225Bene. The sauage bull may, but if euer the sensible Bene-

254226dicke beare it, plucke off the bulls hornes, and set them in my

255227forehead, and let me be vildly painted, and in such great let-

256228ters as they write, here is good horse to hyre: let them signi-

257229fie vnder my signe, here you may see Benedicke the married

258230man.

259231Claudio If this should euer happen, thou wouldst be horn

260232madde.

261233Pedro Nay, if Cupid haue not spent all his quiuer in Venice,

262234thou wilt quake for this shortly.

263235Bened. I looke for an earthquake too then.

264236Pedro Well, you will temporize with the howres, in the

265237meane time, good signior Benedicke, repaire to Leonatoes,

266238commend me to him, and tell him I will not faile him at sup-

267239per, for indeede he hath made great preparation.

269240Bened. I haue almost matter enough in mee for suche an

270241Embassage, and so I commit you.

271242Clau. To the tuition of God: from my house if I had it.

273243Pedro The sixt of Iuly: your louing friend Benedicke.

274244Bened. Nay mocke not, mocke not, the body of your dis-

275245course is sometime guarded with fragments, and the guardes

276246are but slightly basted on neither, ere you flowt old ends any

277247further, examine your conscience, and so I leaue you.

B1 Claudio

279248Claudio My liege, your Highnesse nowe may doe mee

280249good.

281250Pedro My loue is thine to teach, teach it but how,

282251And thou shalt see how apt it is to learne

283252Any hard lesson that may do thee good.

284253Clau. Hath Leonato any sonne, my lord?

285254Pedro No childe but Hero, shees his onely heire:

286255Doost thou affect her Claudio?

287256Claudio O my lord,

288257When you went onward on this ended action,

289258I lookt vpon her with a souldiers eie,

290259That likt, but had a rougher taske in hand,

291260Than to driue liking to the name of loue:

292261But now I am returnde, and that warre-thoughts,

293262Haue left their places vacant: in their roomes,

294263Come thronging soft and delicate desires,

295264All prompting mee how faire yong Hero is,

296265Saying I likt her ere I went to warres.

297266Pedro Thou wilt be like a louer presently,

298267And tire the hearer with a booke of words,

299268If thou dost loue faire Hero, cherish it,

300269And I wil breake with hir, and with her father,

270And thou shalt haue her: wast not to this end,

301271That thou beganst to twist so fine a storie?

302272Clau. How sweetly you do minister to loue,

303273That know loues griefe by his complexion!

304274But lest my liking might too sodaine seeme,

305275I would haue salude it with a longer treatise.

306276Pedro What need the bridge much broder then the flood?

307277The fairest graunt is the necessitie:

308278Looke what wil serue is fit: tis once, thou louest,

309279And I wil fit thee with the remedie,

310280I know we shall haue reuelling to night,

311281I wil assume thy part in some disguise,

312282And tell faire Hero I am Claudio,

313283And in her bosome ile vnclaspe my heart,

314284And take her hearing prisoner with the force

315285And strong incounter of my amorous tale:

316286Then after, to her father will I breake,

317287And the conclusion is, she shal be thine,

318288In practise let vs put it presently.

320290Leo. How now brother, where is my cosen your sonne, hath

321291he prouided this musique?

322292Old He is very busie about it, but brother, I can tell you

323293strange newes that you yet dreampt not of.

324294Leo. Are they good?

325295Old As the euents stampes them, but they haue a good co-

326296uer: they shew well outward, the prince and Count Claudio

327297walking in a thicke pleached alley in mine orchard, were thus

328298much ouer-heard by a man of mine: the prince discouered to

329299Claudio that he loued my niece your daughter, and meant to

330300acknowledge it this night in a daunce, and if he found her ac-

331301cordant, he meant to take the present time by the top, and in-

332302stantly breake with you of it.

334303Leo Hath the fellow any wit that told you this?

335304Old A good sharp fellow, I wil send for him, and question

336305him your selfe.

337306Leo. No, no, we wil hold it as a dreame til it appeare itself:

338307but I will acquaint my daughter withall, that she may bee the

339308better prepared for an answer, if peraduenture this be true: go

340309you and tel hir of it: coosins, you know what you haue to doe,

341310O I crie you mercie friend, go you with me and I wil vse your

342311shill: good cosin haue a care this busie time. exeunt.

345313Con. What the goodyeere my lord, why are you thus out of

346314measure sad?

347315Iohn There is no measure in the occasion that breeds, ther-

348316fore the sadnesse is without limit.

349317Con. You should heare reason.

350318Iohn And when I haue heard it, what blessing brings it?

352319Con If not a present remedy, at least a patient sufferance.

353320Iohn I wonder that thou (being as thou saist, thou art, borne

354321vnder Saturne) goest about to apply a morall medicine, to a

B2 mor-

355322mortifying mischiefe: I cannot hide what I am: I must be sad

356323when I haue cause, and smile at no mans iests, eate when I haue

357324stomack, and wait for no mans leisure: sleep when I am drow-

358325sie, and tend on no mans businesse, laugh when I am mery, and

359326claw no man in his humor.

361327Con. Yea but you must not make the full show of this till

362328you may do it without controllment, you haue of late stoode

363329out against your brother, and he hath tane you newly into his

364330grace, where it is impossible you should take true root, but by

365331the faire weather that you make your self, it is needful that you

366332frame the season for your owne haruest.

368333Iohn I had rather be a canker in a hedge, then a rose in his

369334grace, and it better fits my bloud to be disdain'd of all, then to

370335fashion a cariage to rob loue from any: in this (thogh I cannot

371336be said to be a flatering honest man) it must not be denied but I

372337am a plain dealing villaine, I am trusted with a mussel, and en-

373338fraunchisde with a clogge, therfore I haue decreed, not to sing

374339in my cage: if I had my mouth I would bite: if I had my liber-

375340ty I would do my liking: in the mean time, let me be that I am,

376341and seeke not to alter me.

378342Con. Can you make no vse of your discontent?

379343Iohn I make all vse of it, for I vse it only,

380344Who comes here? what newes Borachio?

382346Bor. I came yonder from a great supper, the prince your

383347brother is royally entertain'd by Leonato, and I can giue you

384348intelligence of an intended mariage.

385349Iohn Wil it serue for any model to build mischiefe on? what

386350is he for a foole that betrothes himselfe to vnquietnesse?

388351Bor. Mary it is your bothers right hand.

389352Iohn Who, the most exquisite Claudio?

390353Bor. Euen he.

391354Iohn A proper squier, and who, and who, which way looks

392355he?

393356Bor. Mary one Hero the daughter and heire of Leonato.

395357Iohn A very forward March-chicke, how came you to

396358this?

397359Bor Being entertain'd for a perfumer, as I was smoaking a

398360musty roome, comes me the prince and Claudio, hand in

399361hand in sad conference: I whipt me behind the arras, and there

400362heard it agreed vpon, that the prince should wooe Hero for

401363himselfe, and hauing obtain'd her, giue her to Counte Clau-

402364dio.

403365Iohn Come, come, let vs thither, this may proue food to my

404366displeasure, that yong start-vp hath all the glory of my ouer-

405367throw: if I can crosse him any way, I blesse my selfe euery way,

406368you are both sure, and wil assist me.

408369Conr. To the death my Lord.

409370Iohn Let vs to the great supper, their cheere is the greater

410371that I am subdued, would the cooke were a my mind, shall we

411372go proue whats to be done?

412373Bor. Weele wait vpon your lordship. exit.

417376Leonato Was not counte Iohn here at supper?

418377brother I saw him not.

419378Beatrice How tartely that gentleman lookes, I neuer can see

420379him but I am heart-burn'd an hower after.

421380Hero He is of a very melancholy disposition.

422381Beatrice He were an excellent man that were made iust in

423382the mid-way between him and Benedick, the one is too like an

424383image and saies nothing, and the other too like my ladies eldest

425384sonne, euermore tatling.

426385Leonato Then halfe signior Benedickes tongue in Counte

427386Iohns mouth, and halfe Counte Iohns melancholy in Signior

428387Benedickes face.

429388Beatrice With a good legge and a good foote vnckle, and

430389money inough in his purse, such a man would winne any wo-

431390man in the world if a could get her good will.

432391Leonato By my troth neece thou wilt neuer get thee a hus-

433392band, if thou be so shrewd of thy tongue.

434393brother Infaith shees too curst.

435394Beatrice Too curst is more then curst, I shall lessen

B3 Gods

436395Gods sending that way, for it is saide, God sends a curst cow

437396short hornes, but to a cow too curst, he sends none.

438397Leonato So, by being too curst, God will send you no

439398hornes.

440399Beatrice Iust, if he send me no husband, for the which bles-

441400sing, I am at him vpon my knees euery morning and euening:

442401Lord, I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face, I

443402had rather lie in the woollen!

444403Leonato You may light on a husband that hath no beard.

446404Beatrice What should I do with him, dresse him in my ap-

447405parell and make him my waiting gentlewoman? he that hath a

448406beard, is more then a youth: and he that hath no beard, is lesse

449407then a man: and he that is more then a youth, is not for me, and

450408he that is lesse then a man, I am not for him, therefore I will

451409euen take sixpence in earnest of the Berrord, and leade his

452410apes into hell.

453411Leonato Well then, go you into hell.

454412Beatrice No but to the gate, and there will the diuell meete

455413me like an old cuckold with hornes on his head, and say, get

456414you to heauen Beatrice, get you to heauen, heeres no place for

457415you maids, so deliuer I vp my apes and away to saint Peter: for

458416the heauens, he shewes me where the Batchellers sit, and there

459417liue we as mery as the day is long.

461418brother Well neece, I trust you will be rulde by your fa-

462419ther.

463420Beatrice Yes faith, it is my cosens duetie to make cursie and

464421say, father, as it please you: but yet for all that cosin, let him be a

465422handsome fellow, or else make an other cursie, and say, father,

466423as it please me.

467424Leonato Well neece, I hope to see you one day fitted with a

468425husband.

469426Beatrice Not til God make men of some other mettal then

470427earth, would it not grieue a woman to be ouer-masterd with

471428a peece of valiant dust? to make an account of her life to a clod

472429of waiward marle? no vnckle, ile none: Adams sonnes are my

473430brethren, and truely I holde it a sinne to match in my kin-

474431red.

475432Leonato Daughter, remember what I told you, if the prince

476433do solicite you in that kind, you know your answer.

478434Beatrice The fault will be in the musique cosin, if you be

479435not wooed in good time: if the prince be too important, tell

480436him there is measure in euery thing, and so daunce out the an-

481437swer, for here me Hero, wooing, wedding, and repenting, is

482438as a Scotch ijgge, a measure, and a cinquepace: the first suite is

483439hot and hasty like a Scotch ijgge (and ful as fantasticall) the

484440wedding manerly modest (as a measure) full of state and aun-

485441chentry, and then comes Repentance, and with his bad legs

486442falls into the cinquepace faster and faster, til he sincke into his

487443graue.

488444Leonato Cosin you apprehend passing shrewdly.

489445Beatrice I haue a good eie vnckle, I can see a church by

490446day-light.

491447Leonato The reuellers are entring brother, make good

492448roome.

495451Pedro Lady will you walke about with your friend?

496452Hero So, you walke softly, and looke sweetly, and say no-

497453thing, I am yours for the walke, and especially when I walk a-

498454way.

499455Pedro With me in your company.

500456Hero I may say so when I please.

501457Pedro And when please you to say so?

502458Hero When I like your fauour, for God defend the lute

503459should be like the case.

504460Pedro My visor is Philemons roofe, within the house is

505461Ioue.

506462Hero Why then your visor should be thatcht.

507463Pedro Speake low if you speake loue.

508464Bene. Well, I would you did like me.

509465Mar. So would not I for your owne sake, for I haue ma-

510466ny ill qualities.

511467Bene. Which is one?

512468Mar. I say my praiers alowd.

B4 Bene.

513469Bene. I loue you the better, the hearers may cry Amen.

514470Marg. God match me with a good dauncer.

515471Balth. Amen.

516472Marg. And God keepe him out of my sight when the

517473daunce is done: answer Clarke.

518474Balth. No more words, the Clarke is answered.

519475Vrsula I know you well enough, you are signior Antho-

520476nio.

521477Antho. At a word I am not.

522478Vrsula I knowe you by the wagling of your head.

523479Antho. To tell you true, I counterfeit him.

524480Vrsula You coulde neuer doe him so ill well, vnlesse you

525481were the very man: heeres his drie hand vp and downe, you

526482are he, you are he.

527483Antho. At a word, I am not.

528484Vrsula Come, come, do you thinke I do not know you by

529485your excellent wit? can vertue hide it selfe? go to, mumme, you

530486are he, graces will appeere, and theres an end.

532487Beat. Will you not tell me who tolde you so?

533488Bened. No, you shall pardon me.

534489Beat. Nor will you not tell me who you are?

535490Bened. Not now.

536491Beat. That I was disdainefull, and that I had my good wit

537492out of the hundred mery tales: wel, this was signior Benedick

538493that said so.

539494Bened. Whats he?

540495Beat. I am sure you know him well enough.

541496Bened. Not I, beleeue me.

542497Beat. Did he neuer make you laugh?

543498Bened. I pray you what is he?

544499Beat. Why he is the princes ieaster, a very dul fool, only his

545500gift is, in deuising impossible slaunders, none but Libertines

546501delight in him, and the commendation is not in his wit, but in

547502his villanie, for he both pleases men and angers them, and then

548503they laugh at him, and beate him: I am sure he is in the Fleete,

549504I would he had boorded me.

551505Bene. When I know the Gentleman, ile tell him what you

552506say.

553507Beat. Do, do, heele but break a comparison or two on me,

554508which peraduẽture, (not markt, or not laught at) strikes him in-

555509to melancholy, and then theres a partrige wing saued, for the

556510foole will eate no supper that night: wee must follow the lea-

557511ders.

558512Bene. In euery good thing.

559513Beat. Nay, if they leade to any ill, I will leaue them at the

560514next turning. Dance exeunt

562515Iohn Sure my brother is amorous on Hero, and hath with-

563516drawne her father to breake with him about it: the Ladies fo-

564517low her, and but one visor remaines.

565518Borachio And that is Claudio, I knowe him by his bear-

566519ing.

567520Iohn Are not you signior Benedicke?

568521Clau. You know me well, I am he.

569522Iohn Signior, you are very neere my brother in his loue, he

570523is enamourd on Hero, I pray you disswade him from her, she

571524is no equall for his birth, you may doe the parte of an honest

572525man in it.

573526Claudio How know you he loues her?

574527Iohn I heard him sweare his affection.

575528Borac. So did I too, and he swore hee would marry her to

576529night.

577530Iohn Come let vs to the banquet.

578531Claud. Thus answer I in name of Benedicke,

579532But heare these ill newes with the eares of Claudio:

580533Tis certaine so, the Prince wooes for himselfe,

581534Friendship is constant in all other things,

582535Saue in the office and affaires of loue:

583536Therefore all hearts in loue vse their owne tongues.

584537Let euery eie negotiate for it selfe,

585538And trust no Agent: for Beauty is a witch,

586539Against whose charmes, faith melteth into blood:

587540This is an accident of hourely proofe,

588541Which I mistrusted not: farewel therefore Hero.

590542Benedicke Count Claudio.

591543Claudio Yea, the same.

C Bene.

592544Bene. Come, will you go with me?

593545Claudio Whither?

594546Bene. Euen to the next willow, about your owne busines,

595547county: what fashion will you weare the garland of? about

596548your necke, like an Vsurers chaine? or vnder your arme, like a

597549Lieutenants scarffe? you must weare it one way, for the prince

598550hath got your Hero.

599551Claudio I wish him ioy of her.

600552Bened. Why thats spoken like an honest Drouier, so they

601553sell bullockes: but did you thinke the Prince would haue ser-

602554ued you thus?

603555Claudio I pray you leaue me.

604556Benedicke Ho now you strike like the blindman, twas the

605557boy that stole your meate, and youle beate the post.

606558Claudio If it will not be, ile leaue you. exit

607559Benedicke Alas poore hurt foule, now will hee creepe into

608560sedges: but that my Ladie Beatrice should know me, and not

609561know mee: the princes foole! hah, it may be I goe vnder that

610562title because I am merry: yea but so I am apte to doe my selfe

611563wrong: I am not so reputed, it is the base (though bitter) dispo-

612564sition of Beatrice, that puts the world into her person, and so

613565giues me out: well, ile be reuenged as I may.

616568Pedro Now signior, wheres the Counte, did you see him?

618569Benedicke Troth my lord, I haue played the part of Ladie

619570Fame, I found him heere as melancholy as a Lodge in a War-

620571ren, I tolde him, and I thinke I tolde him true, that your grace

621572had got the goodwil of this yoong Lady, and I offred him my

622573company to a willow tree, either to make him a garland, as be-

623574ing forsaken, or to binde him vp a rod, as being worthie to bee

624575whipt.

625576Pedro To be whipt, whats his fault?

626577Benedicke The flatte transgression of a Schoole-boy, who

627578being ouer-ioyed with finding a birds nest, shewes it his com-

628579panion, and he steales it.

629580Pedro Wilt thou make a trust a transgression? the transgres-

630581sion is in the stealer.

631582Benedicke Yet it had not beene amisse the rodde had beene

632583made, & the garland too, for the garland he might haue worn

633584himselfe, and the rodde he might haue bestowed on you, who

634585(as I take it) haue stolne his birds nest.

635586Pedro I wil but teach them to sing, and restore them to the

636587owner.

637588Benedicke If their singing answer your saying, by my faith

638589you say honestly.

639590Pedro The ladie Beatrice hath a quarrell to you, the Gen-

640591tleman that daunst with her, told her shee is much wrongd by

641592you.

642593Bened. O shee misusde me past the indurance of a blocke:

643594an oake but with one greene leafe on it, would haue answered

644595her: my very visor beganne to assume life, and scold with her:

645596she tolde me, not thinking I had beene my selfe, that I was the

646597Princes iester, that I was duller than a great thawe, huddleing

647598iest vpon iest, with such impossible conueiance vpon me, that

648599I stoode like a man at a marke, with a whole army shooting

649600at me: she speakes poynyards, and euery word stabbes: if her

650601breath were as terrible as her terminations, there were no liu-

651602ing neere her, shee would infect to the north starre: I woulde

652603not marry her, though shee were indowed with al that Adam

654604had left him before he transgrest, she would haue made Her-

655605cules haue turnd spit, yea, and haue cleft his club to make the

656606fire too: come, talke not of her, you shall find her the infernall

657607Ate in good apparell, I would to God some scholler woulde

658608coniure her, for certainely, while she is heere, a man may liue

659609as quiet in hell, as in a sanctuarie, and people sinne vpon pur-

660610pose, because they would goe thither, so indeede all disquiet,

661611horrour, and perturbation followes her.

664613Pedro Looke heere she comes.

665614Benedicke Will your grace command me any seruice to the

666615worldes end? I will go on the slightest arrand now to the An-

667616typodes that you can deuise to send mee on: I will fetch you a

668617tooth-picker now from the furthest inch of Asia: bring you

C2 the

669618the length of Prester Iohns foot: fetch you a haire off the great

670619Chams beard: doe you any embassage to the Pigmies, rather

671620than holde three words conference, with this harpy, you haue

672621no imployment for me?

674622Pedro None, but to desire your good company.

675623Benedicke O God sir, heeres a dish I loue not, I cannot in-

676624dure my Ladie Tongue. exit.

677625Pedro Come Lady, come, you haue lost the heart of signi-

678626or Benedicke.

679627Beatrice Indeed my Lord, he lent it me awhile, and I gaue

680628him vse for it, a double heart for his single one, mary once be-

681629fore he wonne it of me, with false dice, therefore your grace

682630may well say I haue lost it.

683631Pedro You haue put him downe Lady, you haue put him

684632downe.

685633Beatrice So I would not he should do me, my Lord, lest I

686634should prooue the mother of fooles: I haue brought Counte

687635Claudio, whom you sent me to seeke.

688636Pedro Why how now Counte, wherefore are you sad?

689637Claudio Not sad my Lord.

690638Pedro How then? sicke?

691639Claudio Neither, my Lord.

692640Beatrice The Counte is neither sad, nor sicke, nor merry,

693641nor well: but ciuill Counte, ciuil as an orange, and something

694642of that iealous complexion.

695643Pedro Ifaith Lady, I think your blazon to be true, though

696644ile be sworne, if he be so, his conceit is false: heere Claudio, I

697645haue wooed in thy name, and faire Hero is won, I haue broke

698646with her father, and his good will obtained, name the day of

699647marriage, and God giue thee ioy.

701648Leonato Counte take of me my daughter, and with her my

702649fortunes: his grace hath made the match, and all grace say A-

703650men to it.

704651Beatrice Speake Counte, tis your Qu.

705652Claudio Silence is the perfectest

Herault of ioy, I were but

706653little happy if I could say, how much? Lady, as you are mine,

707654I am yours, I giue away my selfe for you, and doate vpon the

708655exchange.

709656Beat. Speake cosin, or (if you cannot) stop his mouth with a

710657kisse, and let not him speake neither.

711658Pedro Infaith lady you haue a merry heart.

712659Beatr. Yea my lord I thanke it, poore foole it keepes on the

713660windy side of Care, my coosin tells him in his eare that he is in

714661her heart

715662Clau. And so she doth coosin.

716663Beat. Good Lord for aliance: thus goes euery one to the

717664world but I, and I am sun-burnt, I may sit in a corner and crie,

718665heigh ho for a husband.

719666Pedro Lady Beatrice, I will get you one.

720667Beat. I would rather haue one of your fathers getting: hath

721668your grace ne're a brother like you? your father got excellent

722669husbands if a maide coulde come by them.

723670Prince Will you haue me? lady.

724671Beatr. No my lord, vnles I might haue another for work-

725672ing-daies, your grace is too costly to weare euery day: but I

726673beseech your grace pardon me, I was born to speake all mirth,

727674and no matter.

728675Prince Your silence most offends me, and to be merry, best

729676becomes you, for out a question, you were borne in a merry

730677hower.

731678Beatr. No sure my lord, my mother cried, but then there

732679was a starre daunst, and vnder that was I borne, cosins God

733680giue you ioy.

734681Leonato Neece, will you looke to those things I tolde you

735682of?

736683Beat I crie you mercy vncle, by your graces pardon.

738685Prince By my troth a pleasant spirited lady.

739686Leon. Theres little of the melancholy element in her my

740687lord, she is neuer sad, but when she sleeps, & not euer sad then:

741688for I haue heard my daughter say, she hath often dreampt of

742689vnhappines, and wakt her selfe with laughing.

744690Pedro She cannot indure to heare tell of a husband.

745691Leonato O by no meanes, she mockes al her wooers out of

746692sute.

C3 Prince

747693Prince She were an excellent wife for Benedick.

748694Leonato O Lord, my lord, if they were but a weeke married,

749695they would talke themselues madde.

750696Prince Countie Claudio, when meane you to goe to

751697church?

752698Clau. To morow my lord, Time goes on crutches, til Loue

753699haue all his rites.

754700Leonato Not til monday, my deare sonne, which is hence a

755701iust seuennight, and a time too briefe too, to haue al things an-

756702swer my mind.

757703Prince Come, you shake the head at so long a breathing,

758704but I warrant thee Claudio, the time shall not go dully by vs, I

759705wil in the interim, vndertake one of Hercules labors, which is,

760706to bring Signior Benedick and the lady Beatrice into a moun-

761707taine of affection, th'one with th'other, I would faine haue it a

762708match, and I doubt not but to fashion it, if you three will but

763709minister such assistance as I shall giue you direction.

765710Leonato My lord, I am for you, though it cost me ten nights

766711watchings.

767712Claud. And I my Lord.

768713Prince And you too gentle Hero?

769714Hero I wil do any modest office, my lord, to help my cosin

770715to a good husband.

771716Prince And Benedicke is not the vnhopefullest husband

772717that I know: thus farre can I praise him, he is of a noble strain,

773718of approoued valour, and confirmde honesty, I will teach you

774719how to humour your cosin, that she shall fal in loue with Be-

775720nedicke, and I, with your two helpes, wil so practise on Bene-

776721dicke, that in dispight of his quicke wit, and his queasie sto-

777722macke, he shall fall in loue with Beatrice: if we can do this, Cu-

778723pid is no longer an Archer, his glory shall bee ours, for we are

779724the onely loue-gods, goe in with mee, and I will tell you my

780725drift. exit.

782727Iohn It is so, the Counte Claudio shall marry the daughter

783728of Leonato.

784729Bora. Yea my lord, but I can crosse it.

785730Iohn Any barre, any crosse, any impediment, will be med-

731cinable to me, I am sicke in displeasure to him, and whatsoeuer

787732comes athwart his affection, ranges euenly with mine, how

788733canst thou crosse this marriage?

789734Bor. Not honestly my lord, but so couertly, that no disho-

790735nesty shall appeare in me.

791736Iohn Shew me briefely how.

792737Bor. I thinke I told your lordship a yeere since, how much

793738I am in the fauour of Margaret, the waiting gentlewoman to

794739Hero.

795740Iohn I remember.

796741Bor. I can at any vnseasonable instant of the night, appoint

797742her to looke out at her ladies chamber window.

798743Iohn What life is in that to be the death of this mariage?

800744Bor. The poison of that lies in you to temper, goe you to

801745the prince your brother, spare not to tell him, that he hath

802746wronged his honor in marrying the renowned Claudio, whose

803747estimation do you mightily hold vp, to a contaminated stale,

804748such a one as Hero.

805749Iohn What proofe shall I make of that?

806750Bor. Proofe enough, to misuse the prince, to vexe Claudio,

807751to vndoe Hero, and kill Leonato, looke you for any other

808752issue?

809753Iohn Onely to dispight them I will endeuour any thing.

811754Bor. Go then, find me a meet houre, to draw don Pedro and

812755the Counte Claudio alone, tell them that you know that Hero

813756loues me, intend a kind of zeale both to the prince & Claudio

814757(as in loue of your brothers honor who hath made this match)

815758and his friends reputation, who is thus like to bee cosen'd with

816759the semblance of a maid, that you haue discouer'd thus: they wil

817760scarcely beleeue this without triall: offer them instances which

819761shall beare no lesse likelihood, than to see me at her chamber

820762window, heare me call Margaret Hero, heare Marg. terme me

821763Claudio, & bring them to see this the very night before the in-

822764tended wedding, for in the mean time, I wil so fashion the mat-

823765ter, that Hero shal be absent and there shal appeere such seeming

824766truth of Heroes disloyaltie, that iealousie shal be cald assu-

C4 rance

825767rance, and al the preparation ouerthrowne.

827768Iohn Grow this to what aduerse issue it can, I will put it in

828769practise: be cunning in the working this, and thy fee is a thou-

829770sand ducates.

830771Bor. Be you constant in the accusation, and my cunning

831772shall not shame me.

832773Iohn I will presently go learne their day of marriage. exit

835775Bene. Boy.

836776Boy Signior.

837777Bene. In my chamber window lies a booke, bring it hither

838778to me in the orchard.

839779Boy. I am here already sir. exit.

840780Bene. I know that, but I would haue thee hence and here a-

841781gaine. I do much wonder, that one man seeing how much an

842782other man is a foole, when he dedicates his behauiours to loue,

843783wil after he hath laught at such shallow follies in others, becom

844784the argument of his owne scorne, by falling in loue, and such a

845785man is Claudio, I haue knowne when there was no musique

846786with him but the drumme and the fife, and now had he rather

847787heare the taber and the pipe: I haue knowne when he would

848788haue walkt ten mile afoot, to see a good armour, and now wil

850789he lie ten nights awake caruing the fashion of a new dublet: he

851790was woont to speake plaine, and to the purpose (like an honest

852791man and a souldier) and now is he turnd ortography, his words

853792are a very fantasticall banquet, iust so many strange dishes:

854793may I be so conuerted and see with these eies? I cannot tell, I

855794thinke not: I wil not be sworne but loue may transforme me to

856795an oyster, but ile take my oath on it, till he haue made and oy-

857796ster of me, he shall neuer make me such a foole: one woman is

858797faire, yet I am well, an other is wise, yet I am well: an other

859798vertuous, yet I am wel: but till all graces be in one woman, one

861799womã shal not com in my grace: rich she shal be thats certain,

862800wise, or ile none, vertuous, or ile neuer cheapen her: faire, or ile

863801neuer looke on her, mild, or come not neare me, noble, or not I

864802for an angell, of good discourse, an excellent musitian, and her

865803haire shall be of what colour it please God. hah! the prince and

867804monsieur Loue, I wil hide me in the arbor.

869806Prince Come shall we heare this musique?

870807Claud. Yea my good lord: how stil the euening is,

871808As husht on purpose to grace harmonie!

872809Prince See you where Benedicke hath hid himselfe?

873810Claud. O very wel my lord: the musique ended,

874811Weele fit the kid-foxe with a penny worth.

875813Prince Come Balthaser, weele heare that song againe.

876814Balth. O good my lord, taxe not so bad a voice,

877815To slaunder musicke any more then once.

878816Prince It is the witnesse still of excellencie,

881817To put a strange face on his owne perfection,

882818I pray thee sing, and let me wooe no more.

883819Balth. Because you talke of wooing I will sing,

884820Since many a wooer doth commence his sute,

885821To her he thinkes not worthy, yet he wooes,

886822Yet will he sweare he loues.

887823Prince Nay pray thee come,

888824Or if thou wilt hold longer argument,

889825Do it in notes.

890826Balth. Note this before my notes,

891827Theres not a note of mine thats worth the noting.

892828Prince Why these are very crotchets that he speakes,

893829Note notes forsooth, and nothing.

894830Bene. Now diuine aire, now is his soule rauisht, is it not

895831strange that sheepes guts should hale soules out of mens bo-

896832dies? well a horne for my mony when alls done.

912847Prince By my troth a good song.

913848Balth. And an ill singer my lord.

914849Prince Ha, no no faith, thou singst wel enough for a shift.

916850Ben. And he had bin a dog that should haue howld thus,

917851they would haue hangd him, and I pray God his bad voice

918852bode no mischeefe, I had as liue haue heard the night-rauen,

919853come what plague could haue come after it.

921854Prince Yea mary, doost thou heare Balthasar? I pray thee

922855get vs some excellent musique: for to morow night we would

923856haue it at the ladie Heroes chamber window.

924857Balth. The best I can my lord.

925859Prince Do so, farewell. Come hither Leonato, what was

926860it you told mee of to day, that your niece Beatrice was in loue

927861with signior Benedicke?

928862Cla. O I, stalke on, stalk on, the foule sits. I did neuer think

929863that lady would haue loued any man.

930864Leo. No nor I neither, but most wonderful, that she should

931865so dote on signior Benedicke, whome she hath in all outward

932866behauiors seemd euer to abhorre.

933867Bene. Ist possible? sits the wind in that corner?

934868Leo. By my troth my Lord, I cannot tell what to thinke of

935869it, but that she loues him with an inraged affection, it is past the

936870infinite of thought.

937871Prince May be she doth but counterfeit.

938872Claud. Faith like enough.

939873Leon. O God! counterfeit? there was neuer counterfeit of

940874passion, came so neare the life of passion as she discouers it.