1999Keeper. Is our whole dissembly appeard?

2000Cowley. O a stoole and a cushion for the Sexton.

2001Sexton. Which be the malefactors?

2002Andrew. Marry that am I, and my partner.

2003Cowley. Nay that's certaine, wee haue the exhibition

2004to examine.

2005Sexton. But which are the offenders that are to be ex-

2006amined, let them come before master Constable.

2007Kemp. Yea marry, let them come before mee, what is

2008your name, friend?

2009Bor. Borachio.

2010Kem. Pray write downe Borachio. Yours sirra.

2011Con. I am a Gentleman sir, and my name is Conrade.

2012Kee. Write downe Master gentleman Conrade: mai-

2013sters, doe you serue God: maisters, it is proued alreadie

2014that you are little better than false knaues, and it will goe

2015neere to be thought so shortly, how answer you for your

2016selues?

2017Con. Marry sir, we say we are none.

2018Kemp. A maruellous witty fellow I assure you, but I

2019will goe about with him: come you hither sirra, a word

2020in your eare sir, I say to you, it is thought you are false

2021knaues.

2022Bor. Sir, I say to you, we are none.

2023Kemp. Well, stand aside, 'fore God they are both in

2024a tale: haue you writ downe that they are none?

2025Sext. Master Constable, you goe not the way to ex-

2026amine, you must call forth the watch that are their ac-

2027cusers.

2028Kemp. Yea marry, that's the eftest way, let the watch

2029come forth: masters, I charge you in the Princes name,

2030accuse these men.

2031Watch 1. This man said sir, that Don Iohn the Princes

2032brother was a villaine.

2033Kemp. Write down, Prince Iohn a villaine: why this

2034is flat periurie, to call a Princes brother villaine.

2035Bora. Master Constable.

2036Kemp. Pray thee fellow peace, I do not like thy looke

2037I promise thee.

2038Sexton. What heard you him say else?

2039Watch 2. Mary that he had receiued a thousand Du-

2040kates of Don Iohn, for accusing the Lady Hero wrong-

2041fully.

Much ado about Nothing. 117

2042Kemp. Flat Burglarie as euer was committed.

2043Const. Yea by th'masse that it is.

2044Sexton. What else fellow?

2045Watch 1. And that Count Claudio did meane vpon his

2046words, to disgrace Hero before the whole assembly, and

2047not marry her.

2048Kemp. O villaine! thou wilt be condemn'd into euer-

2049lasting redemption for this.

2050Sexton. What else?

2051Watch. This is all.

2052Sexton. And this is more masters then you can deny,

2053Prince Iohn is this morning secretly stolne away: Hero

2054was in this manner accus'd, in this very manner refus'd,

2055and vpon the griefe of this sodainely died: Master Con-

2056stable, let these men be bound, and brought to Leonato,

2057I will goe before, and shew him their examination.

2058Const. Come, let them be opinion'd.

2059Sex. Let them be in the hands of Coxcombe.

2060Kem. Gods my life, where's the Sexton? let him write

2061downe the Princes Officer Coxcombe: come, binde them

2062thou naughty varlet.

2063Couley. Away, you are an asse, you are an asse.

2064Kemp. Dost thou not suspect my place? dost thou not

2065suspect my yeeres? O that hee were heere to write mee

2066downe an asse! but masters, remember that I am an asse:

2067though it be not written down, yet forget not y^t I am an

2068asse: No thou villaine, y^u art full of piety as shall be prou'd

2069vpon thee by good witnesse, I am a wise fellow, and

2070which is more, an officer, and which is more, a houshoul-

2071der, and which is more, as pretty a peece of flesh as any in

2072Messina, and one that knowes the Law, goe to, & a rich

2073fellow enough, goe to, and a fellow that hath had losses,

2074and one that hath two gownes, and euery thing hand-

2075some about him: bring him away: O that I had been writ

2076downe an asse! Exit.