1331Dog. Are you good men and true?

1332Verg. Yea, or else it were pitty but they should suffer

1333saluation body and soule.

1334Dogb. Nay, that were a punishment too good for

1335them, if they should haue any allegiance in them, being

1336chosen for the Princes watch.

1337Verges. Well, giue them their charge, neighbour

1338Dogbery.

1339Dog. First, who thinke you the most desartlesse man

1340to be Constable?

1341Watch. 1. Hugh Ote-cake sir, or George Sea-coale, for

1342they can write and reade.

1343Dogb. Come hither neighbour Sea-coale, God hath

1344blest you with a good name: to be a wel-fauoured man,

1345is the gift of Fortune, but to write and reade, comes by

1346Nature.

1347Watch 2. Both which Master Constable

1348Dogb. You haue: I knew it would be your answere:

1349well, for your fauour sir, why giue God thankes, & make

1350no boast of it, and for your writing and reading, let that

1351appeare when there is no need of such vanity, you are

1352thought heere to be the most senslesse and fit man for the

1353Constable of the watch: therefore beare you the lan-

1354thorne: this is your charge: You shall comprehend all

1355vagrom men, you are to bid any man stand in the Prin-

1356ces name.

1357Watch 2. How if a will not stand?

1358Dogb. Why then take no note of him, but let him go,

1359and presently call the rest of the Watch together, and

1360thanke God you are ridde of a knaue.

1361Verges. If he will not stand when he is bidden, hee is

1362none of the Princes subiects.

1363Dogb. True, and they are to meddle with none but

1364the Princes subiects: you shall also make no noise in the

1365streetes: for, for the Watch to babble and talke, is most

1366tollerable, and not to be indured.

1367Watch. We will rather sleepe than talke, wee know

1368what belongs to a Watch.

1369Dog. Why you speake like an ancient and most quiet

1370watchman, for I cannot see how sleeping should offend:

1371only haue a care that your bills be not stolne: well, you

1372are to call at all the Alehouses, and bid them that are

1373drunke get them to bed.

1374Watch. How if they will not?

1375Dogb. Why then let them alone till they are sober, if

1376they make you not then the better answere, you may say,

1377they are not the men you tooke them for.

1378Watch. Well sir.

1379Dogb. If you meet a theefe, you may suspect him, by

1380vertue of your office, to be no true man: and for such

1381kinde of men, the lesse you meddle or make with them,

1382why the more is for your honesty.

1383Watch. If wee know him to be a thiefe, shall wee not

1384lay hands on him.

1385Dogb. Truly by your office you may, but I think they

1386that touch pitch will be defil'd: the most peaceable way

1387for you, if you doe take a theefe, is, to let him shew him-

1388selfe what he is, and steale out of your company.

1389Ver. You haue bin alwaies cal'd a merciful mã partner.

1390Dog. Truely I would not hang a dog by my will, much

1391more a man who hath anie honestie in him.

K2 Verges.

112 Much ado about Nothing.

1392Verges. If you heare a child crie in the night you must

1393call to the nurse, and bid her still it.

1394Watch. How if the nurse be asleepe and will not

1395heare vs?

1396Dog. Why then depart in peace, and let the childe

1397wake her with crying, for the ewe that will not heare

1398her Lambe when it baes, will neuer answere a calfe when

1399he bleates.

1400Verges. 'Tis verie true.

1401Dog. This is the end of the charge: you constable

1402are to present the Princes owne person, if you meete the

1403Prince in the night, you may staie him.

1404Verges. Nay birladie that I thinke a cannot.

1405Dog. Fiue shillings to one on't with anie man that

1406knowes the Statutes, he may staie him, marrie not with-

1407out the prince be willing, for indeed the watch ought to

1408offend no man, and it is an offence to stay a man against

1409his will.

1410Verges. Birladie I thinke it be so.

1411Dog. Ha, ah ha, well masters good night, and there be

1412anie matter of weight chances, call vp me, keepe your

1413fellowes counsailes, and your owne, and good night,

1414come neighbour.

1415Watch. Well masters, we heare our charge, let vs go

1416sit here vpon the Church bench till two, and then all to

1417bed.

1418Dog. One word more, honest neighbors. I pray you

1419watch about signior Leonatoes doore, for the wedding be-

1420ing there to morrow, there is a great coyle to night,

1421adiew, be vigitant I beseech you. Exeunt.

1423Bor. What, Conrade?

1424Watch. Peace, stir not.

1425Bor. Conrade I say.

1426Con. Here man, I am at thy elbow.

1427Bor. Mas and my elbow itcht, I thought there would

1428a scabbe follow.

1429Con. I will owe thee an answere for that, and now

1430forward with thy tale.

1431Bor. Stand thee close then vnder this penthouse, for it

1432drissels raine, and I will, like a true drunkard, vtter all to

1433thee.

1434Watch. Some treason masters, yet stand close.

1435Bor. Therefore know, I haue earned of Don Iohn a

1436thousand Ducates.

1437Con. Is it possible that anie villanie should be so deare?

1438Bor. Thou should'st rather aske if it were possible a-

1439nie villanie should be so rich? for when rich villains haue

1440neede of poore ones, poore ones may make what price

1441they will.

1442Con. I wonder at it.

1443Bor. That shewes thou art vnconfirm'd, thou knowest

1444that the fashion of a doublet, or a hat, or a cloake, is no-

1445thing to a man.

1446Con. Yes, it is apparell.

1447Bor. I meane the fashion.

1448Con. Yes the fashion is the fashion.

1449Bor. Tush, I may as well say the foole's the foole, but

1450seest thou not what a deformed theefe this fashion is?

1451Watch. I know that deformed, a has bin a vile theefe,

1452this vii. yeares, a goes vp and downe like a gentle man:

1453I remember his name.

1454Bor. Did'st thou not heare some bodie?

1455Con. No, 'twas the vaine on the house.

1456Bor. Seest thou not (I say) what a deformed thiefe

1457this fashion is, how giddily a turnes about all the Hot-

1458blouds, betweene foureteene & fiue & thirtie, sometimes

1459fashioning them like Pharaoes souldiours in the rechie

1460painting, sometime like god Bels priests in the old

1461Church window, sometime like the shauen Hercules in

1462the smircht worm eaten tapestrie, where his cod-peece

1463seemes as massie as his club.

1464Con. All this I see, and see that the fashion weares out

1465more apparrell then the man; but art not thou thy selfe

1466giddie with the fashion too that thou hast shifted out of

1467thy tale into telling me of the fashion?

1468Bor. Not so neither, but know that I haue to night

1469wooed Margaret the Lady Heroes gentle-woman, by the

1470name of Hero, she leanes me out at her mistris chamber-

1471vvindow, bids me a thousand times good night: I tell

1472this tale vildly. I should first tell thee how the Prince

1473Claudio and my Master planted, and placed, and possessed

1474by my Master Don Iohn, saw a far off in the Orchard this

1475amiable incounter.

1476Con. And thought thy Margaret was Hero?

1477Bor. Two of them did, the Prince and Claudio, but the

1478diuell my Master knew she was Margaret and partly by

1479his oathes, which first possest them, partly by the darke

1480night which did deceiue them, but chiefely, by my villa-

1481nie, which did confirme any slander that Don Iohn had

1482made, away vvent Claudio enraged, swore hee vvould

1483meete her as he was apointed next morning at the Tem-

1484ple, and there, before the whole congregation shame her

1485with vvhat he saw o're night, and send her home againe

1486vvithout a husband.

1487Watch. 1. We charge you in the Princes name stand.

1488Watch. 2. Call vp the right master Constable, vve haue

1489here recouered the most dangerouspeece of lechery, that

1490euer vvas knowne in the Common-wealth.

1491Watch. 1. And one Deformed is one of them, I know

1492him, a vveares a locke.

1493Conr. Masters, masters.

1494Watch. 2. Youle be made bring deformed forth I war-

1495rant you,

1496Conr. Masters, neuer speake, vve charge you, let vs o-

1497bey you to goe vvith vs.

1498Bor. We are like to proue a goodly commoditie, be-

1499ing taken vp of these mens bils.

1500Conr. A commoditie in question I warrant you, come

1501vveele obey you. Exeunt.